Ok so I learned that it is the female part of the couple... she is having jealousy issues... really... damnit... I didnt do anything but be my self... was that too much... well shit... I dont know how to turn me down a notch... not be so sexy... my hubby just asked me to explain to him how it feels to be the object of mens desires and womens jealousy... this I am not able to explain... It does make me smile... but I dont do it on purpose... When I look in the mirror... I see a whale... blubber... fat... double chin... cottage cheese... but when I am looked at by others they look past that... I give off something... a pheramone... I know this... but damnit I dont do it on purpose... I want to be friends with this couple... I want the benefits that come with the lifestyle... I dont want her to be jealous... She is a beautiful woman... my hubby really likes her... pays alot of attention to her... I dont know I dont the male half that we are here to talk about it... that we dont want to make them feel uncomfortable...

I'm thinking you should not beat yourself up over this. And maybe not invest so much emotional capital in a swing-couples relationship.

Situations similar have come up with our swing relationships. The first time it came up, we were both worried to death over what we might have done wrong. The second time we were a little concerned. Now we just go by the philosophy, sex comes first, if friendship follows it is a nice bonus. And we know that swing contacts are like morning commuter trains; if you miss one, you can get a ride on the next one.

I think anyone that's been in the lifestyle for a decent length of time goes through this. You find just the right couple, and then . . . wham! Something comes up and it goes down the drain.

It sucks, but all you can do is shrug and move on. Half the time, you don't even find out what went wrong. And when you do . . .. well, there's usually not much you can do about it, anyway. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong here, so don't worry about it. This is something J&J have to work out for themselves.

In the meantime, your energies will be better spent looking for the next Mr. and Mrs. Right Now.

=)