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Its not you.. Its Us

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kellyandtopher

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Disappointment... :sad: Our new friends J & J whom we have had 2 playtimes with... have just ended it... alas... they are having issues... Now I get it.. we have been in this lifestyle for 15yrs and they have only been thinking about it for 4 yrs and have only had 2 bad experiences before us... We really wanted to give them a good experience... maybe it was too good... I dont know... they say after 4 yrs of talking about it they just are not ready... they thought they were...

 

Now they are wanting to still be friends... this one is hard for me... I dont know if I can still be friends with someone that I have had sex with... someone that I have had sexual thoughts about... I mean I do want to be friends but I wanted the benefits too... I felt that we were perfect for each other... damnit... to perfect... and again the old statement to be true... Too Good Too Be True...

 

Damnit now the stupid thoughts are going through my head... was it us... were we pushy... did we do something wrong... were we too much for them... too touchy... fuck... I know these probably have nothing to do with what is going on... I know that in the beginning of our relationship there were some "problems" and we had to end some friendships because of them... I also know that their issues are there's and have nothing to do with us... Because of the person that I am I want to talk about it with them.... but I dont want to be pushy... I know that they have to work through this themselves... If they are going to be in this lifestyle then they have to be comfortable... ahhhh... :eek: so frustrated...

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Ok so I learned that it is the female part of the couple... she is having jealousy issues... really... damnit... I didnt do anything but be my self... was that too much... well shit... I dont know how to turn me down a notch... not be so sexy... my hubby just asked me to explain to him how it feels to be the object of mens desires and womens jealousy... this I am not able to explain... It does make me smile... but I dont do it on purpose... When I look in the mirror... I see a whale... blubber... fat... double chin... cottage cheese... but when I am looked at by others they look past that... I give off something... a pheramone... I know this... but damnit I dont do it on purpose... I want to be friends with this couple... I want the benefits that come with the lifestyle... I dont want her to be jealous... She is a beautiful woman... my hubby really likes her... pays alot of attention to her... I dont know I dont the male half that we are here to talk about it... that we dont want to make them feel uncomfortable...

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I'm thinking you should not beat yourself up over this. And maybe not invest so much emotional capital in a swing-couples relationship.

 

Situations similar have come up with our swing relationships. The first time it came up, we were both worried to death over what we might have done wrong. The second time we were a little concerned. Now we just go by the philosophy, sex comes first, if friendship follows it is a nice bonus. And we know that swing contacts are like morning commuter trains; if you miss one, you can get a ride on the next one.

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I think anyone that's been in the lifestyle for a decent length of time goes through this. You find just the right couple, and then . . . wham! Something comes up and it goes down the drain.

 

It sucks, but all you can do is shrug and move on. Half the time, you don't even find out what went wrong. And when you do . . .. well, there's usually not much you can do about it, anyway. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong here, so don't worry about it. This is something J&J have to work out for themselves.

 

In the meantime, your energies will be better spent looking for the next Mr. and Mrs. Right Now.

 

=)

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