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One problem of "being in the closet"

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gatorvol64

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I think I've mentioned that all of our families do not know about our quad. Tech's family (immediate) does and it is a very nice change for us. There are suspicions in both my (Vol) famuly and Gator's family. Just not a good opportunity to confirm them I guess. Kitten's family, however, is not in the know and more than likely won't be. Which causes the problem we have. Gator is a bit lost.

 

See, Kitten's mother passed away according to the medical examiner about noon this past wednesday. She was not found until yesterday. Tech and Kitten left early this morning to make arragements and such. Gator has a few days off right now and could have gone. But how do you explain him? This is definitely not the time to do so if she was going to. He is a nurterer by nature. He wants/needs to be there for her. Needs to hug her, hold her and try to comfort her. That is one of his strengths.

 

We'll be leaving tomorrow after I get off work to pick up two of their children and head towards them. The good news for Gator is that we will all be staying at the house of Tech's mother. She knows about us and he'll be able to walk in and immediately hold her.

 

I've had a conversation or two with both my men about situations where we may have some problems. It's a fear for each of us that, if something were to happen to one of us, that we wouldn't be allowed access to the injured one. To clarify that, say Vol got hurt in an auto accident and Tech was the first one to make it to the hospital. They more than likely wouldn't allow him access to me because he isn't my legal husband (I'm not supposed to have two of those:lol:). Now, if I were able to talk, of course I'd tell them I wanted to see him. But what if I weren't able to do that? Should we each carry around a notorized letter stating we thing of each other as spouses? I'd do it if I thought it would work. But we really are a bit out of luck on this. I'd take advice from anyone in the know.

 

It hurts not being able to always be there for the other. Whether for a legal reason or something else. I hurt for Gator right now because he hurts.

 

Vol

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Please pass along our condolences to Kitten and Tech.

In answer to your question about how to let hospitals know to allow them in to see you if something happens to you both, our hospitals have a kind of pre-registration information sheet that has contact information etc on it that stays on file with the hospital in case of an emergency where you can't speak for yourself. You could put Tech and Kitten's names on this list as contacts. That would cover you at your local hospital. You might check with the hospital when you set this up to see if there is some way to have this same information available to other hospitals if something happened away from home. RPU3 might have some more information about this too since she works in the legal field.

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I'm sorry. I had a few weeks there where I just couldn't seem to get well. The "crude" got a hold of me and just would not let go. I hate not being able to get online. I may not post every day but I usually am on the board reading every day. You've probably notice that I'm the one who makes the posts for the most part. Gator just didn't seem to find the time to check things out for me. He was taking care of me. Vol

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