I can see how it can be intimidating for someone to participate in a "sport" with someone who wrote the book on it. Maybe some worry they would be more of a research subject than a playmate? Would I swing with "you"? Absolutely (setting the four way match aside). You didn't write a book because you wanted to be popular, you wrote it was a great way to reach out to many people and to give another contribution to the swinger society. I LIKE people like that.

Here's a secret though: admittedly I was intimidated to meet you the first time but I found you were a regular person just like everyone else

I can see where you're coming from Julie. I see it as a double-edged sword. I can particularly see women being intimidated by the book, and the site. Hell, plenty of men too now that I think about it.

I can also see some out there thinking this would be a great addition to their swinging bucket list (or check off list); "We played with a couple that wrote a book on swinging and run an advice site on swinging! Aren't we awesome?". Seriously. I'm sure those couples are out there.

-That may or may not be a good thing, so it could just be two sides of the same coin.

-I'm not helping, am I?

I don't think an expert in something like this exists. It's like saying you are an expert in people. It's not possible, because we are all so different and random.

I think that's a really good point that I don't believe I've ever considered. Wise words.

-Maybe you ARE an expert.

Here's a secret though: admittedly I was intimidated to meet you the first time but I found you were a regular person just like everyone else

Hell yeah! I remember being very nervous about meeting Julie and another couple that is on this site that we really respect for their life experiences and incredibly good advice. Within minutes though, those nerves were gone, and we realized we were making great friends with four wonderful people in one evening.

The real secret is that I'm totally intimidated meeting anyone for the first time, even more so when it's people from this site. On one hand, I created in my mind a persona to match each person on here before I met them in person, and on the other hand I am always worried about how I might come off "wrong" to people when they meet me in person.

The real trick is whether or not you ever return to this site AFTER you meet me (and others) in person! LOL.

The real secret is that I'm totally intimidated meeting anyone for the first time, even more so when it's people from this site. On one hand, I created in my mind a persona to match each person on here before I met them in person, and on the other hand I am always worried about how I might come off "wrong" to people when they meet me in person.

 

The real trick is whether or not you ever return to this site AFTER you meet me (and others) in person! LOL.

While I've never met anyone from the board (as far as I know of course) I do find that the image you create in your mind is hard to reconcile with reality. I have met people from other online vanilla boards over the years, and for the most part.... meh. I'm reluctant to meet people I chat with etc because I feel it has a good chance of losing that relationship.

While I've never met anyone from the board (as far as I know of course) I do find that the image you create in your mind is hard to reconcile with reality. I have met people from other online vanilla boards over the years' date=' and for the most part.... meh. I'm reluctant to meet people I chat with etc because I feel it has a good chance of losing that relationship.[/quote']

 

You should totally correct that.

We think most of the time you often sound like a know it all-- and to us that wouldn't be fun to play with. Sure you say you aren't an expert, but you are. It's oddly double edged. We think you like to play 'oh who, little old me?' Either you are an expect or not. Since you wrote a book and sit all day and night reading folks comments and stories about swinging isn't it more than a hobby to you? It's nice you can psychologically express your thoughts and then get folks to stroke you. It's a good site, but the 'whoawezme' thing is odd. Like eww.

Yes it is more than a hobby to me. I've never claimed it was just a hobby. For me it is a lifestyle, and a huge part of my life. That said, due to many extenuating circumstances, we've been on a break from swinging more than we've been active in the last few years and our recent return has been very interesting, often leaving us feeling like newbies.

I actually really appreciate your comment here Someday, because I wasn't looking to have my ego stroked, but actually looking for real answers on whether or not my lifestyle involvement intimidates people.

I wouldn't worry about it. Some people will be turned on by your "celebrity" some will be intimidated. There is nothing you can do to change that. Just continue to handle situations with grace as you seem to already!

I would love to meet you!

Wow, that's something that didn't even occur to me, but I suppose some people would be intimidated by the thought of playing with someone who wrote a book on swinging and/or runs a swinger site. Unfortunately, those people aren't looking past that stuff to see what you're really like. Having met you in person, I know you're a total sweetheart. So yeah, Mr. Sweet and I would totally play with ya'll, assuming all the other puzzle pieces were in place.

Just keep doing what you're doing.

=)

For some reason this post came back to mind again and I was thinking about it a bit.

Now I've been here for over 10 years and I "know" your personality as well as anyone could without really knowing you. I can imagine how a chat between us would go even if you didn't know I was a member of the board. I would not be intimidated by it.

Now take your average swinging couple who really doesn't think about swinging, what it means, why people do it, what can go wrong, that sort of thing. Here comes some women who wrote a BOOK on the subject and runs a website based on it. Just the thought of someone writing a book makes many peoples head spin. They would feel judged I think, they would wonder if they would end up on this site as a story, they would wonder if you would tell them what they are doing wrong.

On the flip side, it might filter a lot of flakes for you

All good points, Chicup. Thank you for adding them.

Hmmm, Well For me I would definitely swing with you, I know somewhat where you are coming from. We have had issues in the past because we host events that people are intimadated by us or figure that our dance cards are full. For a long time we really had to work at hooking up.

Now we make sure that we come first.

K

The question being would I swing with you. Hell yeah !! As I type this Roses says " you can"t just post that you have to say why " and of course I am getting to that as soon as I finish teasing my lovely wife about peeking over my shoulder. :P

I think you have a great point about there not being an expert out there when it comes to swinging. Why would I swing with you. There are several reasons. First I have looked at your forums for some time with my wife. I don't often chime in but I do benefit greatly from these forums and what they provide. Your being the host of the forums and the author of a book may not make you an expert on the subject, but to me it says you are an intelligent articulate person. Someone seeking improvement through self examination and reflection. Someone willing to question the accepted norm and be genuine with herself and those she encounters.

And that is something I find very attractive so it's easy to say " hell yeah !"