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On Love and Loss

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sweet_tna

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On Mother's Day, our circle of friends was rocked by the death of a dear friend. It was an especially tragic accident, as L was a beautiful person, inside and out. She was great teacher, devoted wife and mother, and volunteered at an animal shelter. She and her husband C were known as one of the most devoted couples you could ever meet. He is, understandably, bereft without her. Hell, were all stunned and heartbroken to learn of her death, and have done our best to make sense of it all as we try to help C through this difficult time. I even chose to spend my birthday with C, as I couldn't justify going out to enjoy a birthday dinner while my friend was hurting so badly.

 

Yet from this tragedy, there is something beautiful in how we've all pulled together to lift not only C up, but each other, as well. L's memorial service was lovely, and so many people gathered to celebrate her life. It was a unique and informal service, held in the garden where she and C were married. None of us stepped up to speak about her, as though there were an unspoken agreement that it would be best not to give her family and coworkers cause to ask how we came to know her. Had I spoken, I'd simply have said that she is what I want to be when I grow up. But we laughed along with the funny anecdotes, and cried with the touching stories.

 

Another light to be found in this darkness is the creation of a literacy foundation in L's name, and an awareness for the causes that were near and dear to her heart. I can only hope that others will strive to continue the work she started, which is the best way to honor her.

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While I wouldn't have spoken either, its really a shame that friends who knew her best must remain silent for decorum's sake.

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Thanks ya'll! And on one hand,I agree, Chicup. That point actually brought up a moment of levity, when the owners of the club we frequented whispered to us, "We should go up and say how we really knew her, and tell a few stories." Then again, would it not have been a wee bit selfish to reveal things to her already devastated family that would further upset them? (shrugs)

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There was a book I read, "Speaker for the Dead" which had something I really liked as a kid and still do now.

 

The "Speaker for the Dead" would basically do an investigation of the life of someone who died and then tell their whole story at the memorial. The good the bad the shocking. I wouldn't mind my swinging activities coming out after my death, but obviously I wouldn't want my wife to have to field those stares from the uninitiated either, so I'd have to go second ;)

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Oh, I will be the last one to go, so that won't even be an issue . . . Since Mr. Sweet is a guy, he'd likely get more knowing smiles an thumbs-ups.

 

=)

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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of a dear friend. :( *hugs* At least there were several in attendance that knew her closely...I think a lot of people pass away without revealing their true, honest selves to a close set of friends and family.

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My wife and I know a man of the lifestyle who lost his wife who had gone into a hospital for what was supposed to be brief and simple surgery. So I believe I have something to which I can relate. I hope your dearly departed friend had a good life.

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Thanks, ya'll. And yes, L did live a full life, however brief. Her husband's band did a wonderful job last Saturday, and while he's still trying to find his way, we were all so proud of him.

 

=)

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