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The Old Gray Mare...

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PB&J

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Well, that's what it's starting to feel like. There's been a big change in my libido over the past 6 years. Menopause is a bitch.

 

We had a house party a couple of weeks ago; I did nothing. That is, I was the perfect hostess, in that I didn't play, but just socialized with my guests all night. This isn't the first house party we've attended in the past year or so where that's happened. Simply too often I am not in the mood. Being 53 can really suck.

 

PB is having trouble understanding all of this, as he's seen me enjoying myself so much over the 6 years we've been in the LS. He seems to think that all I have to do is decide to play, and I could do it, but even with partners that I know and enjoy, I just can't make that jump. He and I don't even manage much sexy time alone these days, between the hormonal thing and his work schedule.

 

I don't even dare go the hormonal replacement route; I've got a family history of breast cancer which keeps me away from that. I do have vaginal tablets which are considered uber-safe, but because their effect is basically limited to keeping my vagina from getting dry, it doesn't do much to get me in the mood.

 

I'm making an effort to turn things around, but it's pretty damn depressing right now. I know I need to lose some weight; I've got the dreaded menopause weight gain on top of everything else. AND I need to get more exercise, although increasing knee problems (the beginnings of arthritis) make that more challenging too. I've started taking l-arginine, magnesium, zinc, B vitamins, after doing some web research on the topic, but it's going to take time. And I'll still have the fucking hot flashes.

 

On top of everything else, we got a message today from a couple that is in our circle of house party friends asking if we wanted to get together with them. Even if I was in the mood, I wouldn't, because there is no attraction for me at all there. But it's a pain in the ass to have to send the thanks, but no thanks email.

 

There. I've vented. Who knows, the hormonal roller coaster could have me ready to rumble tomorrow. It's all part of the mystery of life.

 

Update: The roller coaster came through for me. We went and had dinner at our BLF's (Best Lifestyle Friends) and after

some time around the campfire ended up on their king-size bed having an excellent time. So there's hope for the old gal yet!

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Mrs two4you can sympathize with you. The libido has slowed down for her as well, but it hasn't been as much of an issue for us since it now mirrors mine a little closer. I really had a difficult time keeping up until a couple years ago. The sweats, the flashes, and the moods irritate her, but she is glad to be done with the periods.

 

This is one of those things that is tough for guys to "get", but I've figured out a little patience, understanding, and a general attempt at learning about the process helps both of us.

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I don't even get the thrill of no more periods; that happened for me back in '95 when I had an endometrial ablation.

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I happy that I am reading your blog post after you had added the update. Such things about life give me worry. I don't do well with change. Makes me all the more determined to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

 

Hope that your roller-coaster ride continues to have more ups than downs.

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Due to a traffic accident, pain management had a ton of roller coaster activity. Then the hysterectomy due to a ovarian cyst. Mister was my rock during all of this and our LS friends truly understood.

 

But it was a neighbor's similar circumstances that led me to inquire with my GP and OBGYN about testosterone. I thought this was only for men.

 

Mister and I both were checked. Wow...we were near zombie level. Now after a micro tiny amount for me and a fairly normal amount for him, we have more daily energy and our sex life has returned to that of our twenties when we were first seduced by another couple.

 

We would not recommend using the testosterone without a doctor's consultation and follow on blood work. yes because of the hysterectomy I went dry and non-interested. Pain management just added to the inability to "get in the mood" and watching Mister be so loyal and faithfully caring for me, hurt to observe. I really love him. We celebrate 46 years of marriage next month.

 

Now when he starts sucking my nipples and playing with my clit, we are both rewarded with my becoming intensely wet and I hit my orgasms quickly, intensely, and multiple times just like the old days.

 

We strongly encourage you to speak frankly with your doctor about inviting micro amounts of testosterone to you. Your hubby is also at risk of testosterone loss like every other average guy in his fifties. Make certain that certain aspects of iron levels are also reviewed by the doctor from your blood work. I forgot what ours said, but it seemed to be more about males that females.

 

There are alternatives to being unhappy.

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Thanks for the advice, afterwork, but I doubt that I'll go that route. I still enjoy sex once I'm in the mood for it, and I'd rather work this through without taking hormones if possible; the jury is still out on the long-term effects of testosterone supplements on women.

Oh, and SWPA, things are improving; we ended up in a delightful six-some with good friends after an afternoon at the theatre, and I can happily report that I was thoroughly fucked last night, to the mutual pleasure of my partners and myself.

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May your ride continue to be smooth but maybe have just the number of ups and downs to make it interesting.

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I too am glad I read this post after your update. That said, I can sympathize with the mood thing. I don't know if t's early menopause, or the moving stress that's getting to me, but I just haven't found myself to be in the mood too often anymore. I know I need to work on the weight issue, but I also just need an adult night out . . . Ah, well. I'll chalk this up to just another dip in the roller coaster of life. Glad you're back on the upswing.

 

=)

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