Hi Sunbuckus. I know you aren't here looking for answers or even replies. I just wanted to voice my support for your feelings. As a guy, I would assume that I wouldn't have the issues you describe but I do. I think for me, one of the biggest turn ons is the anticipation of meeting and having sex with someone. Once that piece of excitement is missing, I have a hard time getting out the door.

We put ourselves out there looking for fulfillment and excitement. Once we no longer get that rush, we have to wonder if it's worth the trouble.

You mention that you go out even if you aren't feeling up to it. Are you starting to feel like you are taking one for the team every week? Are you starting to feel any resentment towards mr sunbukus for always wanting to go out? Is he aware of your feelings?

JandK, thank you for your comment! We don't go out every week. Lately it has been once a month or every other month so it's not really that frequent. And the only way I've been "taking one for the team" is going out to swing when I'm feeling dubious about the whole thing. I haven't felt any resentment toward him because I do understand the excitement about going out and seeing couples we know and meeting new people. Sometimes it feels like I'm getting too selective or there doesn't seem to be anyone that I'm sexually attracted to when we go out. Then I start to worry if this pickiness is starting to frustrate Mr. Sun.

We have talked about all of this several times but when we finally get a night out, it's usually back to checking the calendar for a party to attend.

Imagine your favorite food.

Eat it every day.

Its no longer all that great.

I think the reason we have had longevity in the lifestyle is we do not play very often. Play dates are exciting, not just another Saturday. Its always a bit fresh.

We get where you're coming from. I think a lot of us go through these phases where it just isn't as fun as it once was. For me, the times I have had the worst attitude about swinging is when I have had a pretty negative attitude about myself. That has been the same for Mrs two4you as well. Whenever we're in a personal funk, whether physical, emotional, stress, or a combination of multiple things, swinging seems more like a chore, or something else on the list.

No answers here. No advice. Just a reply to say, "We get it".

Chicup, I often wonder how much frequency factors in but we haven't really been swinging all that much lately, at least that's how it seems to me and I know Mr. Sun definitely feels that way. Perhaps taking the next couple of months might be good.

Thanks, two4youinswva, for the reply. You make a lovely point and I'm sure it showed when we went out.

I don't think this is all that wearing-my-heart-on-my-sleeves kind of post but considering that this is a swingers forum...maybe I'm afraid of how this all might be construed.

Even when worn on a sleeve' date=' it's a beautiful heart.[/quote']

 

Thank you for being so kind!