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Where the Rubber Meets the Road
I'm pretty sure I used the right idiom...if not, at least it sounds cool, right?
In any case, we had a moment of truth last night. We had arranged to meet another couple (we'll call them Core Couple) at a bar, which we did. However, they had arranged to meet one other couple there as well. Fortunately, we were able to sit and chat with Core Couple before the other couple arrived. On the down side, when the other couple did show up, they didn't share their names with us and didn't talk much. Luckily, we had to drive to Core Couple's hotel after the bar so Mr. Sun and I were able to determine if it was a go or no-go.
As usual, I felt that I would disappoint Mr. Sun if I said no. I knew he was usually game for anything but lately I have been having reservations when we go out. So, I sat there feeling like I would be the one "holding us back" and disappointing everyone. I sat there wishing the other couple hadn't shown up. I sat there, holding 3 "red-flag cards" in my hand. 1. Lack of attraction to the male in the other couple. 2. Witnessing a lot of drinking from Core Couple which made me worry about bedroom performance. 3. Uneven attraction in a 3 couple party--which we've had a bad experience with in the past. I knew what the cards said to me but I was afraid of letting Mr. Sun down.
In the end, I knew I had to follow the advice I often give on the forum...I had to say no. We texted Core Couple that we were sorry but we couldn't meet them in the hotel. We made sure that they understood that we weren't feeling the connection with the other couple but we were interested in meeting with just them, the Core Couple, at a future date.
I still feel bad that I "pussy-blocked" Mr. Sun but I feel a lot better knowing that I didn't "take one for the team" or do something I would regret later.
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