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Saying no continues to be the hardest lesson for me to learn
What I'm going to write about...I feel like I wrote about it before but I suppose I only wrote about half of my feelings. I've mentioned my issue to Mr. Sun several times but it doesn't really help anything until I finally realize that it really is okay to say "no". See, the problem that I find myself in is that if I say "no" to playing with a couple, I feel guilty--guilty about disappointing others, specifically Mr. Sun and the other couple. I also don't like to hurt people's feelings, and I know that they feel hurt by the rejection. On top of that, I feel like I'm "cock blocking" Mr. Sun since it's always harder for males to find playmates in comparison to females.
Basically, I feel bad if I say "no" but I also feel bad if I say "yes" and go through with playing with a couple that I'm not all that interested in.
Some might say that it doesn't hurt to do a "test fuck" but I've done that several times and it's usually memorable in the not-so-positive way. So, I don't think I'm cut out for handing out "test fucks".
I know...I just have to learn that it's okay to let others down. Disappointment and rejection is part of life.
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