sunbuckus

I can understand the plight of single men in the LS, however, if that was his intent, he should have been upfront about it from the beginning instead of tip-toeing around the issue. Also, even though some single men are looking for a woman to join them in the LS, it's all in how they go about it as well. Some want to engage in couple play, however, some use the woman as a cheaper means (or only way) to get into parties and then dump her after paying/getting in the front door. There's also the "duped" feeling that some couples have when they realize that the "couple" isn't really a couple but really two singles.

Happy Belated Birthday from us though!

Hi, Duncan! I figured I'd add in my two cents to your thread. Emotional attachment is much more likely to occur the more one-on-one time you spend with your partner, in and out of the bedroom. So if you wish to maintain a distance, I wouldn't engage in spending a lot of personal time with her. Second, I would highly recommend that both you and the other couple find many other playmates. If you rely on just one playmate, it's easy to fall into emotional attachment. Third, some are more affectionate than others. It may not mean that they are "making love" or feel love toward you--it could be out of pure habit. If such behavior bothers you, you can either speak up and let them know it makes you uncomfortable or you can find other playmates or both.

I'm sorry that it stings right now for you, SuzieG. But I agree with GoldCo...at least you learned about this side of him sooner rather than later. It truly did sound like he wasn't the right guy for you. I do hope you find what you seek out there!

Hi, SuzieG. Have you considered just showing him what you have written here? All of the above are your thoughts and concerns. Just be open and honest with him. Let him know what your hesitancy is that you two don't have that relationship foundation to explore the LS successfully. I think your fears are very real and very smart. Many young relationships cannot handle swinging right from the start because there isn't the necessary trust, love, communication, respect, and experience that you two can handle the "ups and downs" that only time can give you.

I agree with asncpl. I may even go as far as assuming that the male must be ugly if he can only supply dick pictures.

I agree with funcoupledayton. Bring some just in case they aren't provided. And if they are, at least you know that the condoms you supply fit you and/or meet any allergy issues you may have.

We rarely play separately so there hasn't been much opportunity for fetish requests to come up. But I find this interesting...especially when it wasn't brought up prior to meeting for separate play. If I were put in such a position, it would highly depend on the activity and the person I was with to consider it.

Welcome, naughtybj, and thank you for sharing that wonderful glimpse into your first experience. Your account helps to remind many of us how it was when we each started to swing.

A gang bang is still at the top of our swinging bucket list so I'm afraid I can't give any advice. But we'll be keeping tabs on your thread in the meantime. However, from what I have read here though, some members "recruit" by asking couples they have played with before to see if they are interested in participating. I think others have been able to find GB groups in their area that actually set things up. Others have posted a Hot Date on SLS letting others know that they are interested in a GB and go through those who message them to let them know that they are interested.

I also haven't heard of that, either!

After wearing glasses for 100% of my waking hours for 23 years, I now wear contact lenses (RGPs, no less) for at least 50-75% of the time I'm awake now. In fact, I've gone through a bit of an "identity crisis" because I no longer like the way I look with glasses but I'm not used to how I look with contact lenses either! Anyway, along with the bane of terrible eyesight, I was also cursed with sparse, short eyelashes. Mascara just doesn't do much for my poor little eyelashes. I had heard of those applications like Latisse to help your eyelashes naturally grow longer and thicker but I'm not sure I believe if they work. Recently, I found out there are such things as eyelash extensions! But they are expensive due to the initial cost and upkeep. I talked to Mr. Sun about it but he kept assuring me that I didn't need such things. Well, I'm pretty determined to see what I look like with longer eyelashes so I looked up a tutorial on apply false eyelashes and tried it out yesterday. Obviously, since it was my first try, it looked awful and fake! But Mr. Sun seemed revved up about it so now I'm wondering if he'll sing a different tune if I bring up eyelash extensions. Long story short...I'm wondering if any of you wonderful ladies out there have successful or not so successful stories about your eyelashes. Do you do anything with them? Is there a beauty routine or technique that you do to have luscious eyelashes on a regular basis? Or are you one of those lucky gals who have naturally beautiful lashes? And have you noticed a difference in men's attention when you do something to your eyelashes versus when you do nothing at all to them?

If you're asking about safety tips regarding being at a swingers club, they have rules for everyone to abide by. No means no. Always ask before touching. And a variety of others, depending on the club (like if they require all doors to stay open or not). If anyone isn't following the rules, it is imperative to let the club hosts/owners know so they can deal with it. They have a financial incentive in wanting to maintain a safe environment for swingers or else the swingers will no longer patron that club. As for approaching others, I'd say a simple, "Hi, my name is SnF2930, and this is Mr. Snf2930, my husband." Maybe add in a compliment about their clothes/shoes/hair/jewelry or comment that you two saw them across the room and wanted to introduce yourselves. Some clubs do theme nights or have a dress code. Each club is different so it's best to call the club to make sure. Most of the time, you can't go wrong with a nice dress and perhaps slacks for the male. In our area, jeans are acceptable but I have heard from other members that jeans are not in their locale. I highly recommend checking out the Swinging at Clubs, Socials, and Hotels forum as well as the Dress to Impress forum. And even the archives! If you have any questions after looking there, you can always start a new thread in the appropriate forum.

Oh, no, no, no! Mr. Sun somewhat recently had surgery and I remember how swollen, puffy, and red those areas of his body were. That is what I had in mind when I meant fresh scars. I have to admit, it is refreshing to hear someone become attune to being sensitive to how certain questions can trigger others. Sometimes you wonder if such questions are too personal--and I used to be very sensitive about a lot of things in my life. Fortunately, writing about them has helped alleviate some of that sensitivity. It also helps to know that personal stories can help others understand more about a situation. I hope this woman in your life will come to such a place where the mention of her voice doesn't upset her.

Heh. Yeah...I actually had someone in mind when I put up this thread and sometimes when I am upset about something, I tend to try to make it general to make it have wider appeal but it doesn't quite work out. Plus, I thought I'd try to capitalize on another thread that was popular. I've wondered about that quite often if certain sex acts are done because they feel it's obligated or just part of routine, especially when out swinging.