Backing out of a party

[Half MT 218]

We backed out of an invitation after driving over five hours to a party of strangers. 
Back story. 
We were looking for new people on one of the advertised sites that was referred to us. We didn’t sign up yet, we used someone’s sign in, we aren’t ready to register with a profile yet. We know this is deceitful so we immediately tell any contact our true profile. We are still fearful of our identity out there, we searched in neighboring states not minding the travel. 
Tim made contact with someone, told them our history of being very new, one experience only. They questioned our real identity, many fakes on there. He gave them my contact to show we are real, first with a pic of us then a call making sure it wasn’t just a guy looking. 
Memorial Day weekend party they were having, could be 10 others there. Once again we asked Grandma to watch so we could take a mini vacay. 
We take off knowing storms in the area, bad weekend for travel. The trip was full of us talking the possibilities and our first stop was picking up protection. 
Now the bad. We get to the address and see political flags out front. I tell Tim that there is no way I’m spending the weekend with folk flying those flags, he tried to say I shouldn’t assume they are A holes. I know he wanted the hostess, the husband looked nice too unless he was like the flags. We drove down the road and talked and watched others going to the house. One guy even asked if we needed help because we were stopped on the side of the road. 
My mind played tricks on me imagining the talk at the party, it made me cry really bad. Timmy said we could drive home, I could see he didn’t want to. I just couldn’t. We didn’t go to the house. 

[NoAngels 333]

What kind of flags? I’m missing something I don’t understand. 
 

I just reread your last post, what most excited you about the party? 

Edited May 28 by NoAngels

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

The visible display of "political flags" (I think I can read between the lines there) suggests their houseparty is more exclusive than inclusive, and that fellow swingers with divergent political viewpoints are unwelcome.

 

We wouldn't have entered the house either.

[lcmim 1,081]

Refusing contact beforehand because they openly express a view of any kind, says more about you than them.

 

 

[AdamGunn2 393]

Not often, but yes, we've attended house parties where we took off after checking the scene.

 

Not for political reasons like you (although there's many times when we turned down couples or singles for that reason,) but simply because we didn't feel comfortable. Or safe, in one circumstance. If you walk in, and there's a number of people who are downright drunk or very high on drugs (we don't mind a little drug use) and we're out of there. And if they're passing loaded guns around, maybe think about what could happen . . .

 

If you don't feel safe or comfortable, get your tail out of there.  

[NWAtlSwing 522]

We have played with people from across the political spectrum. It has never been an issue for us. We don't talk politics or religion. Not sure we would care much about their flags.

 

If someone wants to be hung up on politics then I am not sure we would want to play with them.

 

 

Edited May 28 by NWAtlSwing

[oldswinger64 111]

There are many political views out there, and we have swung with many of them.  On the other hand, flying a flag is different.  That is a bit more in your face.  We would not have entered either.

[lcmim 1,081]

What about a campaign poster?

Mary on a rock in the koi pond?

Maybe a Ukrainian flag? Irish Republic flag? NRA membership tag on the door?

Or maybe BLM or "We back the badge?"

I know folks with some pretty strong opinions on the Masons. Maybe Lodge decal on their car?

 

Everyone who is worth talking to has a set of things that they believe, or support. That is what makes it interesting.

My only requirement is that they are basically civil and if one of THOSE topics come up that they are able to explain why. (being logically consistent  wins bonus points)

If I feel inclined to state my why, then, I expect them to be as respectful to my musings as I have been to theirs.

 

I will only learn about that if I do not prejudge them.

 

I have gotten to the point that I do not really care if people agree with me.

I am not responsible for their minds.

 

If someone or some group were to actually materially impinge on my life or freedom, then we might just have to take it out back.

 

Merely being of the opinion that my choice of politics or Religion is wrong or evil does not ruffle my feathers at all. They are entitled to be wrong.

 

[cplnluv1 871]

Politics and swinging don’t mix if you are looking for fun. Once a prospective contact mentioned politics or race we took deeper dives into personality. We never asked sensitive questions on certain topics, our focus was always on the why are you looking and what your expectations were. It was always about the woman and her feelings, any mention of politics sent up Red flags. We never asked, we never told, no incompatibilities that way.
Our current group of friends will discuss politics because it’s in the news daily and though swinging and sex brought us together, there is much more that keeps us friends.  

[ConfusedHubby 118]

On 5/27/2024 at 10:06 PM, Half MT said:

My mind played tricks on me imagining the talk at the party, it made me cry really bad. 

This may not be the hobby for you...

[Half MT 218]

1 hour ago, ConfusedHubby said:

This may not be the hobby for you...

From someone who calls himself “confused” 🤣

[ConfusedHubby 118]

Good dig, lol.  I'm thick skinned enough to give you chuckle.  We all get Confused--in my case it is understanding inconsistent actions of others.

 

I'm not trying to be a dick, feelings get hurt and it's impossible to predict how you'll respond to something actually happening in real life and if it will align with what you have in your head.

 

That said, if there isn't even a real world interaction to process and the concern of differing politics is enough to unexpectedly "cry really bad" this may be dangerous for your own well being.

[Half MT 218]

1 hour ago, ConfusedHubby said:

That said, if there isn't even a real world interaction to process and the concern of differing politics is enough to unexpectedly "cry really bad" this may be dangerous for your own well being.

I didn’t literally “cry”, we did just travel 5 hours to meet at a party because we wanted to out what our vacation friends told us about swinging. 
Differing politics was never an issue with our family, nobody wore their political views on their heads. The only political signs growing up was during election season, and as my father said both sides want what’s best in different ways. An American flag was patriotic. 
I am reminded that nobody denied elections, wanted overthrow Congress, or take away my rights as a woman. 
I don’t need sex with others, so I will continue to choose compatible partners who I would want to be friends with when I do decide to explore. 

Edited May 29 by Half MT

[NWAtlSwing 522]

What is funny is I could tell political sides from the first post. What the politics of the OP and the Home were.

 

 

[MidwestHoneys 356]

3 hours ago, NWAtlSwing said:

What is funny is I could tell political sides from the first post. What the politics of the OP and the Home were.

 

 

Of course, normal educated people don’t have to wave flags. 
You are a genius. 
 

[njbm 2,868]

Before we went to a house party in 2016, my wife said I bet they have a lawn sign for a particular candidate. Sure enough, they did! A friend said did you see their lawn sign? We giggled. Really great idea not to talk politics or religion. 
 

We are going out with good friends tonight who are big supporters of the guy who got convicted of felonies today. Should be interesting. We hope not to discuss it with them. But we are in party mode. 

[TnA83 306]

I just heard a blurb about how Steve McQueen was invited to a soiree the following night at a friends house and invited a girlfriend to go.  His girlfriend declined so he bailed as well. Turns out that the host was Sharon Tate and all of the party goers were killed by the Manson family. So don't second guess your gut feelings, they may save your life some day.

 

My personal belief is that if Steve McQueen was at Sharon Tate's house that night, he would have kicked all of the Manson's asses and we never would have heard anything about it to this very day.

[lov2party 20]

we wouldn't go to any event if you have a sign up supporting the "orange turd"

[NWAtlSwing 522]

On 5/29/2024 at 9:15 PM, MidwestHoneys said:

Of course, normal educated people don’t have to wave flags. 
You are a genius. 
 

I have seen a number of flags, both American and otherwise, in homes of highly educated people. I don't think being educated means you don't fly flags.

 

I don't think being liberal means you don't fly flags. I see those too.

 

Politics don't matter to us. We have friends on both sides of the political spectrum. We would never consider denigrating them for having different political beliefs from our own. And as far a swinging is concerned, who the hell cares?

 

 

 

[Numex 2,409]

It's not a problem that someone has political leanings, even strong ones. It becomes a problem when they need to make it in your face, proselytizing. 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

18 hours ago, Numex said:

It's not a problem that someone has political leanings, even strong ones. It becomes a problem when they need to make it in your face, proselytizing. 

Political signs are about both saying who one is for and hoping to influence others. I'd say that proselytizing is the whole point of political speech. People often put political signs in their yards. Friends of mine have done that, voting for the "other guy". Does not mean they are still not friends.

 

Now, if you don't want to swing with anyone who is engaged in political speech like that, that is 100% your business.

 

 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

The real issue here seems to be the assumption that people strongly for the "other side" cannot be trusted to be safe. I cannot imagine thinking another human being is not safe to be around based on his or her political leanings in any direction.

 

 

[Half MT 218]

7 hours ago, NWAtlSwing said:

The real issue here seems to be the assumption that people strongly for the "other side" cannot be trusted to be safe. I cannot imagine thinking another human being is not safe to be around based on his or her political leanings in any direction.

 

 

You are right, we read the signs and flags as negatives as we knew it was a “sex party”, the hostess could have been a very willing participant and she wanted everyone to know she wanted to F*ck Biden. I don’t know how we misread her intentions. 

Edited June 3 by Half MT

[NWAtlSwing 522]

19 hours ago, Half MT said:

You are right, we read the signs and flags as negatives as we knew it was a “sex party”, the hostess could have been a very willing participant and she wanted everyone to know she wanted to F*ck Biden. I don’t know how we misread her intentions. 

I posted that as its own post so as not to make it personal towards you. I am sorry, as it seems as if it was taken that way. It was not my intention and I should have worded it better.

 

I am concerned, in general, that many Americans are afraid of each other based political beliefs. That makes me sad.

 

 

 

 

[TricianMike 772]

I can see both sides to this post. The OP is new to the lifestyle and needs a comfort zone. Read her posts, on vacation she was relaxed, her inhibitions disappeared in that comfort. I’m not a therapist, to me she is looking for sex without pressure or guilt. 
Many look for sex as the main focus of swinging, it certainly is the reason though others want the social factor too. 
Politics aside we would go to football games in NJ wearing my Giants jersey and approached Eagles fans. Sex with the enemy! 

[NWAtlSwing 522]

5 hours ago, TricianMike said:

I can see both sides to this post. The OP is new to the lifestyle and needs a comfort zone. Read her posts, on vacation she was relaxed, her inhibitions disappeared in that comfort. I’m not a therapist, to me she is looking for sex without pressure or guilt. 
Many look for sex as the main focus of swinging, it certainly is the reason though others want the social factor too. 
Politics aside we would go to football games in NJ wearing my Giants jersey and approached Eagles fans. Sex with the enemy! 

Football loyalty is much more important than politics!

[findinganswers 369]

This topic sounds familiar, I was chastised for bringing politics into a discussion. I checked and 6 years ago I stated that I was uncomfortable with a man who was very vocal in his political preference. 
10 years ago political talk was civil if brought up, the area we live in was solidly in agreement on the topic. When politics was brought up at this one party by someone I never met before it made me angry, it took away from the reason we were there, sex. I certainly didn’t want to think about politics, I use baseball scores to help me delay. 
@Half MT I understand your reluctance to mix sex and politics. Your first party is hard enough without outside reasons that could ruin your first, it could affect how you will approach future meetings 

[njbm 2,868]

On 5/31/2024 at 5:39 PM, lov2party said:

we wouldn't go to any event if you have a sign up supporting the "orange turd"

Didn’t know it till we got there after a 45 minute drive. Our opposing party friends were there in great number. In 2016, we were confident that our side would win. Things have gone downhill since. 

[njbm 2,868]

On 6/4/2024 at 4:46 PM, NWAtlSwing said:

Football loyalty is much more important than politics!

Yankee/Giants fans here. We’ve done Eagles and Red Sox fans. We all look alike without clothes.