First Planned Swing

[Half MT 226]

Thank you all for advice, guidance and help setting up our first meeting of someone for sex. 
We had previously set up to attend a party that we drove hours to get to then decided not to join. 
Our first swing was terrific with vacationers at an adult only resort. No planning it happened in a very fun meeting. Since coming home we wondered what meeting others would be. With help we used a profile to search for a long distance meeting. We had plenty of fun looking and wondering, we also had plenty of frustration. We weren’t in a rush to meet others knowing the longer we waited the more difficult it would be for me. My husband did most of the searching and I would read the profiles he chose. 
We found an attractive younger non married couple. I thought too much younger and I posted my thoughts here. The advice we were given was they weren’t that much younger and age is a number. Some of you stated that you met others 20 years older. 
More advice, meet at a neutral site to see if we liked them stipulating no sex on first date. It worked we liked them, we felt they liked us. We set up a “date” for the next night if we could get someone to watch our kids. 
Next night was our first swinger meeting. It went well, even great. The best part is I know that I can swing. I can meet others for sexual pleasure without guilt. I felt this was my only opportunity, if it didn’t work out I most likely would go back to a quiet life. 

[cplnluv1 872]

Searching for the right couple on a match site whether as a single dating service or a swinging site always brings up questions. Alan and I had similar fun and frustration in our searches with many bumps and misses. Our first wasn’t great, just like the first time I had sex, but it both opened a new world of fun. 
A little additional advice, don’t worry about age, older or younger. You will find friends of all ages if you open your mind to talking, not everyone will be right for you. 
We look forward to all the positive posts of your new matches. 

[couplers 4,640]

9 hours ago, Half MT said:

The best part is I know that I can swing. I can meet others for sexual pleasure without guilt

Congratulations!  I'm glad it turned out well for you.  I was raised by strict Catholic parents with all that it entailed, especially one sex partner for life, a husband.  The biggest lesson I learned in my journey is that humans are not monogamous.  Not only should we enjoy sex with others even within a marriage, but there is great joy in having our spouse do so as well.

 

All the best in your adventures finding additional pleasures and having fun.

[Half MT 226]

2 hours ago, couplers said:

I was raised by strict Catholic parents with all that it entailed, especially one sex partner for life, a husband. 

I was raised in a very strict rural area where sex was never discussed in my house. The fear of God was my upbringing. Everyone knew who were the “loose” girls. My sex life stopped short of losing my virginity before marriage, my husband was my first. I know that is old fashioned and after meeting a more worldly woman on our vacation we realized that our beliefs were just fear. I now the stupidity of  ridiculous godly fears. Thankfully we are young enough to enjoy ourselves now for many years. 

[couplers 4,640]

20 hours ago, Half MT said:

I know that is old fashioned and after meeting a more worldly woman on our vacation...

If you wouldn't mind, could you please share the details of this story and the woman that you two met.  It is fascinating. 

 

20 hours ago, Half MT said:

we realized that our beliefs were just fear.

Fear can be justified if it is rational, but others, especially the faux religious, create fear around sex to control people and deny them pleasure.  God is the One who gave us intense pleasure around sex and created us (as He did all creatures) as non-monogamous beings, even in a committed marriage. 

 

20 hours ago, Half MT said:

Thankfully we are young enough to enjoy ourselves now for many years. 

I too am thankful that we, all five of us, found each other young and the joys of our poly family.  Many people here on this forum come to the realization later and struggle to change their lifetime of thinking and get into the lifestyle. 

Edited July 4 by couplers

[Half MT 226]

2 hours ago, couplers said:

If you wouldn't mind, could you please share the details of this story and the woman that you two met.  It is fascinating. 

We vacationed at an adults only resort, not a swingers resort, and met a couple who told us their story. They are swingers and I think they went to Hedonism several times and told us wild stories. Timmy and I lived a very sheltered life, he was my only. I don’t want to call it seduction that we fell for, it was eye opening. 

[couplers 4,640]

21 hours ago, Half MT said:

I don’t want to call it seduction that we fell for, it was eye opening. 

 

On 7/3/2024 at 9:27 AM, Half MT said:

after meeting a more worldly woman

What did the woman say to you two that opened your eyes?

[Half MT 226]

What the exact words were I don’t remember. She was telling us about the other resorts, one was Hedonism, I don’t remember the others where there is sex parties and nude beaches.  I let her know I was a virgin when we married and Timmy is the only one who I had sex with. We joked about that, I then said I did have other kinds of sex before. Don’t know why I told her about hand and oral sex before we married. She said she loss count on the men she had sex with. We talked about my childhood and didn’t want my reputation in our town talked about. The conversation was going to an embarrassing way about did I ever wonder what it would be like with another man. Think my sunburn didn’t cover the other shades I turned. We talked religion and then others finding out. She said nobody at the hotel is from my town and she thought Timmy would enjoy another woman. I said I don’t remember the exact words that convinced me, maybe that we will probably never get this chance again. 
Now we know it’s hard to get a second chance of meeting but not impossible. 

[Shore2Please 611]

On 7/4/2024 at 10:05 AM, Half MT said:

We vacationed at an adults only resort, not a swingers resort, and met a couple who told us their story. They are swingers and I think they went to Hedonism several times and told us wild stories. Timmy and I lived a very sheltered life, he was my only. I don’t want to call it seduction that we fell for, it was eye opening. 

We met our first on a cruise so there may be something about vacations that loosen your inhibitions. The couple we swapped with joined us on a nude beach followed by plenty of liquor on the ship. All these years later I say it was the best romantic night in our swapping life. The way he touched me, kissed me and made love to me is burnt into my memory. 
He saw be naked as I saw him that day on the beach yet it was so much different alone in a cabin and allowing him in me. 
 

MT how did you feel when a stranger entered you that first time and did you have concerns?

We meet our firsts who don’t live near us and I’m wondering why you don’t contact them or meet them. 

[TricianMike 772]

Reading about first timers is amusing. 

[couplers 4,640]

22 hours ago, Half MT said:

I let her know I was a virgin when we married and Timmy is the only one who I had sex with.

She was an angel sent by God.  I'm not joking. 

 

22 hours ago, Half MT said:

I did have other kinds of sex before. Don’t know why I told her about hand and oral sex before we married.

Me too, but none of it was with my husband-to-be.  In high school (Catholic high school), I did hand jobs, oral, and anal with several boys but only let one touch my pussy.  Until Red, who is part of our poly family still. 

 

22 hours ago, Half MT said:

We talked religion and then others finding out.

Most religions are to control people. 

 

 

[couplers 4,640]

19 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

romantic night in our swapping life. The way he touched me, kissed me and made love to me is burnt into my memory. 

Although we in our poly family have ventured into occasionally having casual sex outside the family, there is a deep romantic, loving connection among us five in the family.  Sex and love and children among us makes me feel unusually lucky.  Blessed, as they say in the South. 

[Half MT 226]

20 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

MT how did you feel when a stranger entered you that first time and did you have concerns?

Concerns? Extreme fear that someone would find out. We had a little foreplay, I never saw a penis like his, I learned uncircumcised. Having had sex only with Timmy before that I could tell it was different but not sure how it was different, but it was perfect. 

 

20 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

We meet our firsts who don’t live near us and I’m wondering why you don’t contact them or meet them.

I wish we could get on a plane to visit, they don’t live in the US. 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

We played with a couple a couple of times where the wife was like you, Half MT. She was a virgin when she married. There is no "right" direction to take in swinging except what is right for a given couple. For them, the wife did not want to have vaginal sex with other men. She was very happy to do everything else, but not vaginal sex. She was a delight to play with, and I wish I was still playing with her today, more than 10 years on. Very fond memories.

 

It is very interesting hearing about your interactions with the lady at the adult only resort. Two women coming at this from radically different angles, and finding common ground even so. She was right about nobody there possibly knowing you. I mean, it's possible, but highly unlikely. Even so, what you do behind closed doors would never be known. In such situations I think of such people as being "NPCs" (a term from the gaming world; non-player characters. I.e., nobody). They mentally become two dimensional people who have no bearing on my life at all. It emboldens you to do things you might not otherwise do because of our own fears.

 

I'm very, very happy the second couple worked out so well for you! I would be sad to know they didn't, and that was the end of it. My wife and I considered such things when we got into swinging. We were concerned about whether or not it would go well and be a great experience. We decided to not judge it by one couple or guy (MFMs were and are a prime attraction). That worked well because the first two experiences were just so-so. Not bad, but not great. The third time (an MFM), my wife just could not have enough sex with the guy. Literally toe curling sex. When we got into the car to head home (after hours of her having sex with him) she said, "Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!" 🤣 and the rest is, as they say, history. I'm sure you have many fine adventures in front of you in this lifestyle. I'm glad this couple went so well and the sex was perfect for you!  Now you're off into the future adventures.

[Kitty39 0]

Hey all! 
 

Been out for some drinks with work colleagues the other day and as I kinda fancy one of them, not sure if he does or not, we end up talking. He said he goes to swingers club and want to meet me for a drink to discuss planning. I never been to such things and I must admit I am intrigued and would want to but it’s like I have all this silly questions in my head that I don’t want to ask him as it might be embarrassing. I think I look more confident than I really am. Help by sharing your first night at a swingers club🤦🏻‍♀️ all details! Ta x

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

You found the perfect place to ask all of those silly questions. Best to start a new thread, however. Other than that, ask away...we're here to help!

[BnT 1]

I’ve never swinged, my Fiancee did on dates in his past, but never with “his” woman, we’re both open to the possibility of anything and everything. 
 

That being said, I’m pretty afraid that this entire lifestyle may change the way I look at my fiancee.

 

I love monogamous marriages, I’m completely ok w monogamy. 
Once monogamy is gone there’s no turning back with him …

 

so I guess that scares me, but I also now want to be his hot wife - cum slut - etc, I love to fuck and so does he so… 

 

I think we’re getting a room this  weekend and going for it

 

any advice

[couplers 4,640]

9 hours ago, BnT said:

I love monogamous marriages, I’m completely ok w monogamy. 

Once monogamy is gone there’s no turning back with him …

You will be monogamous in love, just not in sex.  The best of both worlds. 

 

9 hours ago, BnT said:

I also now want to be his hot wife - cum slut - etc, I love to fuck and so does he so… 

Sounds perfect to me. 

[Numex 2,416]

On 11/7/2024 at 7:59 PM, BnT said:

we’re both open to the possibility of anything and everything. 
 

That being said, I’m pretty afraid that this entire lifestyle may change the way I look at my fiancee.

The question is whether you two have the same sense of adventure and tolerance for risk and failure. It doesn't involve just sexual matters, but just about everything like taking a high reward/high risk job in a different and strange city or country, buying a fixer-upper house, going on vacation to take up a new sport, eating unusual food, etc. If you can laugh about the failures together and move on instead of trying to lay blame, then it's a match. If not, play it safe and stay home; some people prefer that. That doesn't mean there's no sexual adventure, you can still watch porn and play with toys, staying home and playing it safe. Maybe the husband is ok with and wants his wife to play with a guy they both know several times and that's enough. Sort of the middle ground in the lifestyle. 

 

After agreeing on the risk/reward plan you both need to acknowledge that mistakes will be made, by you and by your spouse. The important things are to admit you mistakes while forgiving AND forgetting your spouse's mistakes.

Edited November 14 by Numex

[AdamGunn2 398]

Right on, Numex. Well said.

 

But there's also the stigma that Ethical Non-Monogamy is considered by a majority of people to be outlandish behavior, possibly even perversion. This colors the risk/reward quotient, maybe beyond the ability to work with or forgive someone who is very close to you.