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Can I ask the couples with experience is it possible to chase a good encounter either swing or cuckold to then be put off from a different meet, and when do you decide to not bother and would I be right to base good communication the overall answer can bottling up something that may be small should be said or less said is OK if issue is small 

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Okay, we're confused as to what you are asking. Taking a shot in the dark here, we have a rule that either of us can veto a couple without having to explain why. If there isn't a connection, then there isn't a connection and going forward would require one of us 'taking one for the team', which neither of us ever want the other to have to do.

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