Which is the best way to get to get to know others?

[ddrewd 15]

Julie, stop me if this question has come up before, but I couldn't find it through Search.

 

This question was inspired by another thread. I'm not asking about the initial contact, but after the first contact is made. Which way do you think is most effective at getting to know others before you meet face-to-face?

 

It comes down to 3 methods:

 

Chat

Email

Telephone

 

For me Chat is nervewracking. Even though I can type 50+ wpm, it moves too fast (when you're typing) and too slow (when the other person is typing). Yet, it's in real time which makes for a more natural and conversational exchange. And chatting creates a more uninhibited exchange than you'd likely have over the phone.

 

Telephone: With nationwide plans for cellphones, this is becoming a less-expensive option, though it's still costly. Yet, there's something about hearing a person's voice that tells you alot about them.

 

Email: my preferred method. It's like old fashioned letters only digitized. It's not conversation, but it gives you time to think, to ask and answer questions more creatively (though increasing the BS factor at the same time).

 

So, what'll be: Chat, Email or Phone?

 

Drew

[Snestling in IN 15]

I would say that for me, I like E-Mails better than I like the telephone or chatting (IMs). I'm the shy type, and that's sometimes hard to get over even when chatting. With E-Mails (and message boards), I feel I have a better chance to say what I need to say.

 

My girlfriend, however, is the total opposite. She's much more outgoing, and she'd rather talk on the telephone.

 

P

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'd say none of the above. Nothing beats a face-to-face meeting.

 

Out of your options tho I'd have to choose chat, assuming the person has some sort of instant messaging program that we can chat through as that makes it much easier than sitting in a chat room.

 

I find email to be a pain in the butt. My experience has always been that getting answers to questions in email is like pulling teeth.

 

As for phones, I personally have a slight phone phobia. I hate to talk on the phone especially with someone that I don't know well.

[md_hot_cpl 15]

Well because you asked what would we prefer before meeting face to face I would have to choose chat. There is so much you can learn from someone. Chat is more spontaneous than email but a combonation of both is perfect.

 

I don't really like to talk on the phone because usually Mike and I will participate in chat and email together but this is hard to do with the phone (I dislike when someone has me on speaker phone so I won't do that to another).

 

Sam (the Chatting Wife)

[TomF_22033 17]

My preferences are to meet folks in person first. If this isn't possible, my second choice is Instant Messaging, then the phone.

 

Tom

[OhioCouple 40]

Drew,

 

What has worked for us and continues to work, is chatting via e-mail getting to know each other as individuals, eventually exchanging phone numbers and graduating to a public meeting place. If things "click" , which by this point, they usually do, the sky is the limit! The chance encounter, phone or cyber sex does not work for us.

 

Lori

[ddrewd 15]

cyber sex does not work for us.

 

 

 

Nor does it do anything for me. It's faux sex, and I'd rather have the real thing.

 

However it's a different thing to swap fantasies, and to offer suggestions for things to do if both parties make a connection. I enjoy hearing what others like to do or want to try.

 

Drew

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ran across this one in archives as well and was surprised that I don't think I've seen this discussion come back up. Again I added a poll...

[two4youinswva 3,068]

In person, at the club works best for us.

 

Ran across this one in archives as well and was surprised that I don't think I've seen this discussion come back up. Again I added a poll...

 

Julie, have you been watching "Cold Case" a lot recently? Because you've found a lot of old (but cool) threads lately!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

 

 

 

Julie, have you been watching "Cold Case" a lot recently? Because you've found a lot of old (but cool) threads lately!

 

I'm going to blame the writers strike and the lack of anything on tv.... therefore more time to go digging for cold cases. We (the mods and I) have been working hard to clean up and make the archives more functional... it's amazing what you dig up in the process.

[xyzzy07 15]

I agree with two4youinswva. Face to face in a club is the only way that has worked for us.

[sweet_tna 680]

For us, the meet & greets or parties have been the best way to meet folks, but we've had good luck through the site, too. We still prefer to arrange a meet ASAP, with chats until then. But I like to chat.

 

=)

[WesternSwing 504]

We prefer our next contact to be in person, either over some drinks at a bar or club or at a swingers party if one is coming up soon.

[LFM2 1,482]

We have a few meet & greets around here which are fun. It's a great way to meet new people.

 

We like to meet people off sites as well. We like to meet ASAP, for drinks or dinner, and we email in between.

 

Sometimes we know how busy people's lives are as ours is a real mess, so we know how that goes.

[nicerrtxcple 13]

we like to meet online,but after that we like to meet for drinks and dinner to talk to see if we click or not.plus we are out for making friends not just to have a roll in the hay.

[zowie 15]

I like the idea if seeing them in person but with my work week and being tethered to a computer emails, chat or telephone work best for me.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I'm not asking about the initial contact, but after the first contact is made. Which way do you think is most effective at getting to know others before you meet face-to-face?

 

It comes down to 3 methods:

 

Chat

Email

Telephone

 

For me Chat is nervewracking. Even though I can type 50+ wpm, it moves too fast (when you're typing) and too slow (when the other person is typing). Yet, it's in real time which makes for a more natural and conversational exchange. And chatting creates a more uninhibited exchange than you'd likely have over the phone.

 

Telephone: With nationwide plans for cellphones, this is becoming a less-expensive option, though it's still costly. Yet, there's something about hearing a person's voice that tells you alot about them.

 

Email: my preferred method. It's like old fashioned letters only digitized. It's not conversation, but it gives you time to think, to ask and answer questions more creatively (though increasing the BS factor at the same time).

 

So, what'll be: Chat, Email or Phone?

 

Drew

 

I'm a one finger typer so chat isn't my favorite either although I made a connection with someone through chat and had an intense short term relationship. E-mail is my preferred also for the same reasons you stated. I don't think it is a good idea to give any stranger your phone number.

[C@YWMI 15]

I checked other we prefer lifestyle funtions. To meet people fun atmosphere and if things don't click, There is always someone there to chat with,flirt,etc etc lol:D

[Trace Ekies 186]

We prefer to meet in person...we do alot of chatting and emailing but prefer the good ol' face-to-face meeting...you can't hide much when we're looking you in the face and listening to your voice.

 

Besides, the anticipation is so much fun...we've had many of these types of meetings and had only a few bad experiences...

 

Trace

[red96 17]

How about a combination of two of them? We use chats and e-mails to decide if we want to meet . After a couple of chat sessions we will set up a meeting at a vanilla place, if all are interested. Don't really give out or phone info to very many. We have, but it has been people we got to know very well before hand. We like to chat before we make up our mind about meeting so I guess it would be chat first for us.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We voted, "In person". Like anything else getting out and advertisement seem to be the best approach.

[JayP 15]

In person for me for sure. One way or the other it's a great way to find out pretty quick if it's worth everyone's time. I've been fortunate enough to meet some pretty great people. Some I've connected with some I haven't. Meeting in person takes all of the bs out of it.

[wife4females 23]

I've always found that chatting with someone online usually helps you get to know them a bit more than emal because of the response time...it's not easy to make stuff up or word everything so perfectly when it's a live chat.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

We picked other, we much prefer to meet people at parties/events, we don't have any "clubs" here or anywhere close enough to go to. So if we meet you at a party and things click, then it's off to a hotel for some fun.

 

K&L

[celtic239 297]

We picked "in person". We have only met couples at clubs or conventions so can't comment on web searches. But in person allows us to determine, in a relatively short period of time, if we will click with the couple. I would imagine that interactions on line wouldn't give that level of "intimacy".

[Tina and Bob 236]

We prefer in person and cut to the chase. It's either there or it isn't.

[Guest thewriter]

First few meeting in a public restauant just to see if there is any chemisty if there is then more private meering at our or there home for dinner and drinks. From there see what happens.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

First few meeting in a public restauant just to see if there is any chemisty if there is then more private meering at our or there home for dinner and drinks. From there see what happens.

 

How has this worked out for you?