Conversations With Another Wife

[Half MT 194]

Do others talk to the other wives you have played with?

We are still new to swinging and learning how to communicate with others during and after meeting others. 
There are a few on here that have reached out to me privately giving advice on how to proceed meeting others. When reading the public and private messages I take into account the ages and wisdom that comes with age and take the advice seriously. One gentleman wrote that we should not rush to meet so many so quickly, we should enjoy making relationships with like minded people. Another wrote that I should enjoy my new found sexuality, but warned me about users and crazies. She also recommended building relationships. I was also warned of STI and worse. 
What I love is most writers are my parents age or older and are still active. I also enjoy the opportunity to share our limited experiences and my feelings which I do as if they were my age. 
This weekend we took a step back with someone we met for sex the weekend before. We met them for three hours with sex as the only reason, we needed to get home to our children. Our time with them was great for us and Timmy and I both thought we wanted to meet them again. Problem is we both have younger children that need sitters. With trying to build a friendship we decided that the families could spend a purely platonic family day together. Children are precious and no sex would be discussed. 
We met their family for Putt Putt golf and pizza. The kids had a great time together which led to extending the day to include a fair about an hour away. With two cars, the men drove the kids, I got to drive with my new friend alone for that hour. It was the first time other than the first couple we met on our vacation that I got to have an honest open exchange with a wife my age. It was funny how alike we are sexually and physically. They are way more experienced than we are but almost all the meetings are with a type. She opened that not all meetings were fun and not once did anyone want to meet socially. She was amazed about my life and virgin bride status. She asked if I was sorry I did that, I shrugged. We had plenty of laughs about sex and family life. I needed this, time to ask questions and make a friend who I hope I can trust. 
Night ended with the kids, now friends, having fun at the fair with more junk food and rides. Nobody got sick. 
I know this is all so quick and will change over time, do others ever get to make friends they can open up to with inner feelings. Maybe I scared her away and she thinks I’m nuts with all the questions, if not I look forward to a broad relationship with them. 

[PeterJ 904]

2 hours ago, Half MT said:

…Maybe I scared her away and she thinks I’m nuts with all the questions, if not I look forward to a broad relationship with them. 

She didn’t change the subject during the course of the drive and remained a full participant in the conversation. So it seems unlikely she was put off. I would say you have had the very good fortune of having found someone with whom you can have a friendship that includes great sex. Hopefully your husband and hers have similar feelings. Did you check with yours?

 

(While I have enjoyed playing with singles and couples at parties where I never did quite get even first their names Ann never saw them again, I much prefer ongoing multi-dimensional relationships with play partners. The most satisfying are friendships where we can enjoy a date that may or may not include sex.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,317]

I tend to think if the wives can get along socially then a lasting FWB friendship is possible.  I don't mean to generalize, but it has always seemed the men get along easily but the women - not as easily.

[Starting late 121]

That's a wonderful opportunity you had! And I'm so glad you have the opportunity to talk with her one on one, without the distraction of sex getting in the way. Our first couple experiences were happenstance, and total strangers - before and after our night in bed with them. We then went to a swingers club, which was nerve wracking and scary, but ended up being fun. Now we are fortunate to have found another couple who we play with exclusively, and have become very close friends with. We still have not mixed them in with our "vanilla" friends, but it's nice to know I can call her up and go shopping, or just talk over coffee or whatever. Those types of friendships are very important to me, but when we first started down this path, I thought I would have a very hard time talking over coffee with someone I went down on the night before, and whose husband has seen and felt every part of me, inside and out : ) But somehow, life is life, and sex is sex!

[GoldCoCouple 4,053]

We STRONGLY believe in having FWB...with the friends part coming first. It's GREAT having someone else you can talk to...about ANYTHING (including sex). The only thing you have to be careful with is remembering that you can't talk to all of your friends about anything (especially sex). Stop overthinking and enjoy the ride...

[cplnluv1 851]

Remember when I said not to make the mistakes we did letting good matches get away because we were looking for the next thrill. Alan used to say we were looking for Strange thinking it would be different. Different isn’t always better or even good. Sounds like you found a friend, keep them. You are young and strange will always be there if you want it. 

[Half MT 194]

16 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

I tend to think if the wives can get along socially then a lasting FWB friendship is possible.  I don't mean to generalize, but it has always seemed the men get along easily but the women - not as easily.

Timmy said they got along perfectly. Having 4 kids in the SUV with them the talk better have been tame with kids always hearing things they shouldn’t. I asked Timmy what they spoke about, sports mostly, music, Olympics, and in his very descriptive way Stuff. I knew they had to talk about me, what did he say? He said I had a great ass lol. Not in front of the kids? NO! 
Timmy made a great point, would they want to spend a day with us if they didn’t click. Good point. 
Timmy asked what two sexy women spoke about. Don’t you love that question. I know he wanted to know the sex talk. I teased him saying we didn’t talk about him or her husband, just girl talk. Her husband loved my squirting, something that I always thought was a negative. We talked about lesbian sex, we don’t need men. Again teasing Timmy. 
FWB needs all to get along. She told me they met others where she didn’t like the man which killed any chance of another meeting. In their relationship she has control and final say. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,317]

1 hour ago, Half MT said:

Timmy said In their relationship she has control and final say. 

That's the way it should be!

[findinganswers 368]

Believe me, women talk, men talk. 

[couplers 4,447]

Our poly family formed out of a combination of genuine social/ romantic interest and sex for its own sake, particularly me setting up my husband with my female friends and acquaintances just for our mutual three-way sexual pleasure. 

 

Our little bit of swinging outside the family has also been long-term and carried along by social interactions. 

 

All of this just to say that with the right people, sex can improve social interactions and social relationships can improve sex.

[Half MT 194]

My conversation continued today with the only one we stayed in touch with. Too bad it’s not easy for us to meet. All the kids are back to school but we all work so days are out. She shared some funny stories about some of the people they met, wonder what she says about me lol. 

[cplnluv1 851]

8 hours ago, Half MT said:

My conversation continued today with the only one we stayed in touch with. Too bad it’s not easy for us to meet. All the kids are back to school but we all work so days are out. She shared some funny stories about some of the people they met, wonder what she says about me lol. 

Keep the conversations going if you want to remain friends and continue to have fun. Many women who are new to swinging and new to women play enjoy the after talk, it reassures them that what they did is fully acceptable. The talk usually started nonsexual moving on to talking about the men. The more difficult conversation was what they seemingly wanted to talk about, women playing with women. 
You have additional topics to talk about, your kids and family, a special bond you started. If you continue to stay friends you will have something very few on here mention, family outings. 

[couplers 4,447]

46 minutes ago, cplnluv1 said:

The more difficult conversation was what they seemingly wanted to talk about, women playing with women. 

Fortunately for me who had no girl-girl experience, my husband played with women who already knew the joys of Lesbian delights.  They encouraged my nascent curiosity without being pushy.  I could see it being more difficult if neither woman was experienced. 

Edited August 19 by couplers

[PJ&Lin 185]

Women talk more than the guys from my observation. I never laughed so hard listening to a group of women talking about the men in our group, including what they said about me, and making fun of the women in front of them. Talk about being raunchy and uncensored, the conversation was hysterical. 

6 hours ago, cplnluv1 said:

The more difficult conversation was what they seemingly wanted to talk about, women playing with women. 

The voyeur in me wanted to hear all the g/g talk. The best are the first time stories. 

 

16 hours ago, Half MT said:

My conversation continued today with the only one we stayed in touch with. Too bad it’s not easy for us to meet. All the kids are back to school but we all work so days are out. She shared some funny stories about some of the people they met, wonder what she says about me lol. 

Ask her what she says about you. if she is still talking to you she most likely has good things to say. 
I wish I was a fly on the wall listening to your conversation or share with us what you said. 
Keep talking. 

[Half MT 194]

On 8/19/2024 at 2:30 PM, PJ&Lin said:

Women talk more than the guys from my observation. I never laughed so hard listening to a group of women talking about the men in our group, including what they said about me, and making fun of the women in front of them. Talk about being raunchy and uncensored, the conversation was hysterical. 

The voyeur in me wanted to hear all the g/g talk. The best are the first time stories. 

 

Ask her what she says about you. if she is still talking to you she most likely has good things to say. 
I wish I was a fly on the wall listening to your conversation or share with us what you said. 
Keep talking. 

We are constantly talking on the phone trying to plan our next time. 
Our talk is very educational to me and at time very sexual because I ask too many questions. They are way more experienced in swinging so I ask her my crazy questions. I told her I post on this Swingersboard most people have been so nice and give advice that helps. The nice thing about her is she is my age and sees things like I do. She also understands my bisexual feelings and my fears. She told me about the men and their penises, actually their cocks. I asked her about the uncircumcised ones, she says she has only seen a few. I didn’t know it started as a religious thing. We talked about shapes and sizes she sees, she put in perspective that most people are the same but different. That makes sense to me. 
I admitted that I saw penises before I was married but only my own vagina or pussy. Now I’m learning how others look and how to explore. She thinks I worry too much. I think we are getting along. 

[couplers 4,447]

When it comes to making arrangements for some or all of us in our poly family to get together with Joe, Shannon, or both it's almost always the women deciding who is getting together, who is traveling where, when, and talk about the play.  The guys are happy we get things going and never complain. 

[Numex 2,332]

On 8/12/2024 at 8:53 AM, Half MT said:

Do others talk to the other wives you have played with?

Daniela loves talking to the wives of the men who she is having sex with in our closed group AND the women who I fuck. It is one of the aspects of our group she appreciates most. Before we met and married, Daniela used to have relationships with married men. One thing that she always required was meeting the guy's wife without her knowing their relationship. It was part of her kink about being the unknown third in their marriage. She always talked the wife up and tried to make the marriage better.

On 8/12/2024 at 8:53 AM, Half MT said:

We met them for three hours with sex as the only reason, we needed to get home to our children.

That's another advantage of our closed, and close, group. We trust each other to watch the children so the others can play. We also socialize in the vanilla way that you describe. The kids love it and think nothing of it.

[Half MT 194]

On 8/27/2024 at 10:30 PM, Numex said:

We also socialize in the vanilla way that you describe. The kids love it and think nothing of it.

As we are now learning that the vanilla part is important to our family. We are able to share friendship and the kids have new friends. We even met their friends that will become our friends.