First time swinging

[Stephan994 0]

Hello everyone,

My wife and I are looking for some advice on how to approach swinging for the first time. We’re both in our 30s (I’m 31, she’s 28), and while we’ve never done anything like this before, we’ve recently been discussing the idea. We’re both good-looking and have been curious about exploring new experiences.

I’ve always been interested in swinging but hadn’t brought it up with my wife until recently. After some discussions, she’s open to the idea, but she prefers that we try it in another country. We’re from Belgium and have considered going to Mallorca to give it a shot.

We both agree that trying swinging could be a great experience, but here’s the twist: my wife isn’t comfortable with the idea of watching me with another woman. So, we’ve decided that we’d like to find another couple and swap partners, but we’re planning to do it in separate rooms to avoid watching each other.

My questions are:
- Is this approach okay for a first-time experience in the swinging community?
- How do you find other couples who are interested in this kind of arrangement?
- What are some tips for navigating this experience smoothly?

Any advice or experiences you could share would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

Hi Stephan and welcome to the community!

 

I know there are couples who like to play separately, but there are a couple things to watch out for.  Mainly, there is a chance the other husband could be a little more aggressive than your newbie wife is comfortable with, and she won't have you there looking out for her.  It has the potential of being bad.

 

From our own personal experience, separate-room play is a little on the advanced side and is best done once you've gotten to know your play partners better through a little light swinging together first.  By "light swinging" I mean there doesn't need to be any intercourse or even any oral - just a bit of touching then same-room "parallel" sex with your respective partners.  Like, for example, if your wife is uncomfortable with the idea of you and another woman - but maybe she's a little bi-curious - perhaps she and the other wife can explore each other a little while the men watch.  Believe me you will be turned on like crazy and then you can fuck your own wife while the other hubby fucks his.  This is a fairly common approach with new couples and seems to make for a nice experience with the definite possibility of more next time around.

 

Talk together about "the rules" you both have for getting started, and be sure to communicate them before with your play partners before playing.  Take it slow and communicate every step of the way.  And remember: You and your wife arrive together and leave together and nothing that happens while swinging constitutes cheating.

 

As for how to start, while the online approach might look easier we have found it's a lot slower and harder than just checking out a swing club together.  But we're kind of old school.

Edited August 28 by hunterdonNJcpl

[TnA83 309]

Swinging is a very individualized sport. However you decide to proceed, do it on your own terms.  A lot of folks dig seeing their spouse being pleasured by another, or pleasuring another.  Some are into it for same sex experiences, every couple has thie own story. 

 

My own fantasy is a puppy pile of pleasure on a king size bed, where everyone plays with everyone.   Not for everybody obviously. 

[Numex 2,416]

7 hours ago, Stephan994 said:

we’ve decided that we’d like to find another couple and swap partners, but we’re planning to do it in separate rooms to avoid watching each other.

My questions are:
- Is this approach okay for a first-time experience in the swinging community?

I don't know for everyone, but we started that way. My wife played alone and I didn't play at all for a while, just to put her at ease, which didn't take long.

 

5 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

there is a chance the other husband could be a little more aggressive than your newbie wife is comfortable with, and she won't have you there looking out for her.  It has the potential of being bad.

My wife started out playing with ex-boyfriends, separately. It was comfortable for them because they knew each other and had good sexual chemistry. It was good for me because they had already fucked before and were exes for a reason.

 

7 hours ago, Stephan994 said:

- How do you find other couples who are interested in this kind of arrangement?

Use the sites that are sponsors here. Sign up for a paid membership, it's worth it.

7 hours ago, Stephan994 said:

- What are some tips for navigating this experience smoothly?

My advice is to do what you can to make your wife happy. As I said, let her take the first steps however she wants to do it without you playing so she doesn't have to worry about anything. Let her decide whether she wants you there or not. Her just getting started will be a thrill for you. After she gets going she'll be eager for you to play too and be happy about it, whether she want to watch you with another woman or not. Have fun.

[Shore2Please 611]

16 hours ago, Stephan994 said:

 

I’ve always been interested in swinging but hadn’t brought it up with my wife until recently. After some discussions, she’s open to the idea, but she prefers that we try it in another country. We’re from Belgium and have considered going to Mallorca to give it a shot.

I understand the not doing it close to home and with strangers. If it doesn’t go well no one will know. 
 

16 hours ago, Stephan994 said:

We both agree that trying swinging could be a great experience, but here’s the twist: my wife isn’t comfortable with the idea of watching me with another woman. So, we’ve decided that we’d like to find another couple and swap partners, but we’re planning to do it in separate rooms to avoid watching each other.

My questions are:
- Is this approach okay for a first-time experience in the swinging community?

- How do you find other couples who are interested in this kind of arrangement?
- What are some tips for navigating this experience smoothly?

Any advice or experiences you could share would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Separate rooms is how we started, separate cabins on a cruise and I am thankful for that. I was free to enjoy sex with another man while not worrying if my husband was jealous or if I would be jealous watching him with another woman. I made love to another man for the first time pleasing each other without restraint. He didn’t need to prove anything to my husband or his wife. To this day years later I think of that night as the best swinging experience. 
If you read my original posts you will read the first time I saw my husband in bed with the other wife I wasn’t happy and the sex in front of them that first time was not as enjoyable. I got over that and we have sex either way now, same or separate, I still prefer separate. 
 

[couplers 4,640]

22 minutes ago, Shore2Please said:

the first time I saw my husband in bed with the other wife I wasn’t happy and the sex in front of them that first time was not as enjoyable. I got over that and we have sex either way now, same or separate, I still prefer separate. 

People's preferences are different and understandable.  For me with a man, I prefer separate; with a woman, FFM.  However, when my husband or another in our family is engaged, I like to see it.  Jealousy is a burn I've never gotten over and I'm addicted to. 

[NoAngels 334]

I have “travel wives” that I meet while on business trips. 
She has men she meets on a married men’s dating site. 
We both play alone most of the time, she has never joined me on my trips. She has invited me to join her with a few of the men and a few women but for the most it is separate. 
In the US there are sites you can join to find partners which most likely extends beyond our borders. Do a search for Swingers in Mallorca.