Are you camera shy when it comes to swinging ?

[sweetcadcouple 40]

One thing I am still surprised among the swinging community after all these years is the respect that we have for one another when it comes to getting filmed and our pictures taken. Like the gallery we have here on this site. I would presume when sharing them here you ask X person permission to post them. We/I choose not to share them because it our choice and we respect people privacy.
 

Many clubs and resorts have a no camera policy in the play area, which I completely agree with. Still many of us also play with people in our resort hotel room, private parties among friends and house parties where we had video and our pictures taken.
 

Even tho the Hedo has a no camera policy we still see people taking pictures and video in the non play area as we can see on Google map reviews and TripAdvisor. And we seen a lot of camera flashes in people rooms. And not to sound a hypocrite, we taken photos ourselves during  our stays.
 

But when it comes to "play time" we do not mind getting our photos taken with other people when doing stuff. As long as they ask permission, we are willing to be with others or do special request acts for the photos (within reason). We done the same, we ask people permission to be with them. We trust you and you trust us that it stays private among ourselves. 
Yes I know it a risk like anything else but still, I still trust people in the community. And also (knock on wood) other than the Ashley Madison scandal there been very little breach among the swingers community. I haven't noticed seeing ourselves in any pornsite in the last 14 years. (Thank God lol)

[AdamGunn2 370]

Respect, of course, is the key. Ask permission before taking pictures, do your best to keep faces off the web.

 

I often took pictures of Mary when she was engaged with a man in a hotwife situation. She thought it was a turn on, <usually> the guy didn't mind.  We never took any pictures in a foursome or moresome situation.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,365]

Neither one of us are very camera shy and I used to take a lot of pics.  Now that we're a bit older, and our playmates are also a bit older, nobody really wants me taking "action pics" any more so I take very few these days.

 

But I always had  5 simple rules about swinging pics that I consider important to follow:

 

1. Ask first. Don't take a picture without permission.

2. Don't take a ton of pictures. That's distracting. Limit it to no more than 10 or so per session.

3. Give your play partners a chance to review the pics at the end of the night and allow them to delete whatever they don't like.

4. I try not to use my phone and instead use an older digital camera with a camera card.

5. Always crop or blur faces before posting anything online.

[SJBluebirds 192]

We absolutely do NOT permit any photos of us that we do not have complete control over.

[NC_Seniors 513]

Not just camera shy … completely camera avoiding!

[njbm 2,856]

No photography for us. The problem is once pictures or video is taken, you have no control over where it goes. I don’t want to revolt the internet. My wife, on the other hand, would be an Only Fans sensation. 

[couplers 4,553]

We avoid photography in sexual situations, or anything that implies we are a poly family with children because we fear the Department of Children & Families.  For a while that fear was receding because our children are doing so well, we live in a liberal state, and people such as teachers, healthcare, neighbors, are supportive or at least accepting.

 

It takes only one crazy in a position of power to upend lives, and lately there seems to be more crazies power.

[Anon321 519]

I do NOT like being filmed unless I'm the person filming it.  My GF on the other hand LOVES being filmed.  Here's the weird part though.  As much as she loves being filmed, she doesn't really care that much about watching the film back.  She will sometimes want to watch the videos back and she will sometimes enjoy it or cringe.  But sometimes she doesn't even want to watch them back.

[PSULioness 822]

When dating my ex he took out his phone and wanted to video me, I refused to let him. After some begging I said he could use my phone knowing I would have full control and ownership. We casted the video to our TV, my first time watching myself. All of our subsequent videos were on my phone, it was fun. 
Swinging I let him video me with his best friend and with my girlfriend. At that point we were married and I trusted him with the videos. The other thing we did was we would FaceTime me and his friend when my ex was away on business. 
 

The videos I’m most upset with was after my divorce and dating this asshole. I don’t know why I let him do things that were abusive and allowed him to video it. In a very dark year he videod me fulfilling his fetishes and his “friends” fetishes. I have no idea what he has done with the videos since I dumped him. My analyst knows how much it bothers me, it’s hard to explain my sleepless nights, I am getting stronger. I haven’t watched any of those videos yet I can only cry knowing what I did for him. Karma will get him. 

[Anon321 519]

1 hour ago, PSULioness said:

The videos I’m most upset with was after my divorce and dating this asshole. I don’t know why I let him do things that were abusive and allowed him to video it. In a very dark year he videod me fulfilling his fetishes and his “friends” fetishes. I have no idea what he has done with the videos since I dumped him. My analyst knows how much it bothers me, it’s hard to explain my sleepless nights, I am getting stronger. I haven’t watched any of those videos yet I can only cry knowing what I did for him. Karma will get him. 

Did you have any regrets or negative feelings about this at the time they were filming you?  I've had this conversation with my GF before.  I don't like being filmed and she does.  Her attitude is that "everyone has sex on camera, just look at OnlyFans, Pornhub, etc., so who cares?  It's not the 1950s anymore."  And I 100% understand that and support it if that's how she feels.

 

But there are a lot of things like you said; fetishes, abusive (although consensual), rough, humiliation, degrading, etc. stuff that she has done on camera.  Completely consensual but far more obscene than your homemade sex tape.  Once again, she will just say "but that's what I like" and then say if you look at your porn on the computer today it wouldn't be hard to find that same type of degrading abuse porn.  And she's also 100% right about that.  I don't think there is any question that that stuff seems to be far more mainstream now than ever before.  But I always worry that that is the stuff that she may some day look back on and regret.  I sure hope I am wrong.  But to be honest, I always felt like my conscience is clear because I've always warned her about it without trying to judge or pressure her either way.

[PSULioness 822]

23 minutes ago, Anon321 said:

Did you have any regrets or negative feelings about this at the time they were filming you?

There are two parts to that. With my ex I was younger and it was sort of fun. As you stated there is so much home porn on the internet I didn’t want to be another girlfriend video so I owned the videos on my phone. He wanted me to see me give him a bj from his point of view, POV. At first he made fun of me and I was mad, that changed and laughed with him. When I attempted the same POV of him, I’m laughing now, I couldn’t hold my phone steady. I loved him then and we laughed together watching on a TV my reactions and noises from other acts he recorded from his point of view. I would call it consensual and intimate. The recordings he took and the FaceTime of me and others I did for him, consensual just not as much fun. 
Part 2 with a boyfriend which was a true rebound relationship and the acts were consensual only that I was pleasing his sadism. I now know I went along with the abuse because of needing something that was missing. He had a daughter fetish I figured out, I wasn’t looking for a father, I was looking for something that is harder to understand. He watched too much porn and the acted out more and more abusive situations. Why I allowed it I still don’t understand. Why I allowed his “friends” to abuse me is even harder. Yes, I have regrets that he now owns those videos and I have no control whatsoever to how he uses them. 

[Anon321 519]

1 hour ago, PSULioness said:

Part 2 with a boyfriend which was a true rebound relationship and the acts were consensual only that I was pleasing his sadism. I now know I went along with the abuse because of needing something that was missing. He had a daughter fetish I figured out, I wasn’t looking for a father, I was looking for something that is harder to understand. He watched too much porn and the acted out more and more abusive situations. Why I allowed it I still don’t understand. Why I allowed his “friends” to abuse me is even harder. Yes, I have regrets that he now owns those videos and I have no control whatsoever to how he uses them. 

This is the part that is concerning.  You say it was consensual but you regretted it.  I am not a fan of rough sex but my GF is.  As a matter of fact, she is the one who actually introduced it to me.  But a lot of that rough sex (or you can call it S&M or whatever the official name of it might be) is like you said, abusive sex (at least to me).  Now she has sexual partners (many of who are my friends) who can fulfill that for her.  While she enjoys it, it is still nonetheless "abusive sex," albeit consensual.

 

And I think you're right that the more you let them have, the more abusive, humiliating, degrading, etc., they want.  So it's "consensual" but where does it really stop when you keep giving up more and more like that?  I've looked into this with my GF and it's a real thing with some women who are submissive and a lot of the play is classified as "consensual non-consent."  Neither of us judge each other or others but in my head I do question this type of stuff.  How can you consent to something that you don't actually consent to?  Not only can it be dangerous but I think the fact that it's on video can create additional problems.  While she consents to all of this stuff on video, I always think about the regret down the line.

[PeterJ 926]

I’ve been a photographer for nearly 60 years, supporting myself in college and grad school selling my images for editorial use. I have now and then engaged in both art and erotic photography and occasionally in videography. As part of the lifestyle I have photographed and videoed my partners and been the subject myself. I have always acted responsibly with images I’ve made of others and expected the same from my partners.
 

My first wife was also a photographer. In the late 1960s we used a 4x5 view camera on a tripod with a Polaroid adapter to make several B&W art nudes of one another. They were nice. But we left them in a drawer in her parents’ weekend home (I have no idea why we were so careless) and her mom found them. She discretely commented on how good we looked. In retrospect, we were fit and in our early 20s. We did look good.😉😊😂

 

In the early ‘70s I made some casual nudes of her in our bedroom. With the 35-mm camera on a tripod and using the self-timer I made photos of the two of us lounging together on our bed. They are quite sweet. I also made one posed photo that shows her on her back as I am ostentatiously licking her clit with my the tip of my tongue. Her mouth is somewhere between a smile and a laugh. I have a devilish look on my face. It is one of my most treasured personal images of any sort. We had no children together and were estranged for about 20 years following the end of our marriage. But over the past two decades we’ve become quite good friends, in combination with our respective spouses. She’s the only other person who’s ever seen that image. I don’t believe she ever had a print of it. I’ve never showed it to another soul, although I think it is charming. We speak openly about every other aspect of our lives, but never these days speak about sex. She’s never asked about that photo session or inquired about the fate of the photos we made. And I don’t intend to bring up the subject.

 

After that marriage ended I dated several women. One, with whom I had a terrific sex-only relationship, asked me to do some nudes of her that she could share with a guy with whom she had a more full-featured relationship. I complied, including a September Morn style photo next to a secluded pond. The price was that she had to fuck me at the end of the session. She readily agreed, but made me lie down on my back in the grass and dirt so she wouldn’t get her butt dirty.

 

One of my professors in grad school had a windowless lab that included both an early B&W video recording setup and a sofa. Another girlfriend and I used it to make a simple sex tape — missionary intercourse until we both reached orgasm. We never actually watched the video (the only place we could have was back in the lab.😂). After we broke up — and it was not a happy breakup — she phoned me to ask that we did pose of the tape. If there were bulk erasers in those days I didn’t know about them. We met at the lab and I loaded the tape into the deck and hit record with no video input. We sat in stony silence as inch by inch the only record of our erotic life together was erased. We never saw each other again. (I did find her a couple of years ago on Facebook. We communicated a little. She’ss now in her mid-70s and semi-retired. For almost 15 years she’s been with a guy 30 years her junior, so in that regard she’s doing fine.😉)

 

I made a roll of mediocre art nudes of my second wife. I kept them in my desk in the office we shared. The office was burgled and the negatives were stolen, along with a large bag of all-silver coins I’d collected when they were still in circulation. I feel way worse about losing the coins.

 

My current wife and I have been together more than 35 years and as soon as digital cameras became available we started making photographs of ourselves in sexual situations. 20 years ago, when we still had pretty good bodies, I made a reclining nude of her in a bed of red leaves in our backyard. It’s one of the nicest photos I’ve ever seen if her from the whole course if her life. With her permission I’ve shared it with good (and discrete) friends in the lifestyle.
 

We also early on made an analog sex video on a Hi-8 camera/recorder. She recently said she’d enjoy seeing the tape. I have it and I have the video camera/recorder/player unit. But I’m not sure it would still work and I’m concerned it might eat the tape. I’d love to get the tape digitized, but I’m not sure how to get that done.

 

There is a couple I play with sometimes who have become social friends with both of us. The man is crazy hot for my wife; he wants to have both a sexual and romantic relationship with her. She’s not up for it. But she did suggest we make a sex video for him, which we did. I toured her body while she spoke to him, asking if he liked what he was seeing. She spread her labia to give him a closeup view. Then she masturbated herself to a squinting orgasm and then I fucked her. It was a pretty naughty tease, as he’s never going to enjoy her in the flesh. But the most recent time we were together for a threesome he told me he likes to cast the video to their large-screen TV and masturbate to it.

 

Some longtime members of the board may recall that five years ago I photographed an orgy for an article on the PDF lifestyle ASN magazine. There were plenty of nude bodies engaged in all manner of sexual activity. It was also one of the least erotic sexual experiences I’ve ever had. But the article came out well.

 

For my own activities in the lifestyle I am happy to photo/video my partners and be also to be the subject. Everyone agrees that we won’t share outside ourselves. But I’m aware that not everyone may keep those promises. At this point in my life it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I was outed. I’m old, I’m not looking to pass a background check for a job, and I’m certainly not running got public office.

[kellimc 223]

Even though I'm an exhibitionist, I never give my consent to being photographed.  Even if the person doing the filming is a long-time lifestyle friend, the thought of someone having possession of pics or videos of me causes too much anxiety.

 

So many marriages and relationships end badly and people use pics and videos as blackmail or revenge.  At the time the images were captured, I'm sure they thought their friendships and relationships would last forever.  Unfortunately, that is not the real world. 

 

Every image that has ever been made of me is in my sole possession and it will stay that way.  

[MidwestHoneys 355]

I rate myself more shy, Honey less shy. I won’t call it a prerequisite to maintain her job Honey had a boss that enjoyed being a watcher who took occasional videos. Honey was and still is in very good shape and would put on sex scenes mostly with athletes at our university. Looking younger she at times wore cheerleader uniforms and what could be called school girl plaids.  At times I sat in on the show other times I participated always asking not to be in the video. Now in her thirties she still can pass for a student and like the other poster said some men have fatherly fantasies. More than a few middle aged men have found ways to enjoy Honey on video. We did find two videos of her in what were called Stepfather videos on a porn video site. I’m pretty sure others of her exist on the black web. She doesn’t let it bother her, it bothers me more. She gives me a so what. I do searches of incest, daddy sex, athletic sex, black on white sex looking for her, so far only seeing the two. I’m afraid it will ruin her future or mine if the wrong people see them. 

[couplers 4,553]

22 hours ago, Anon321 said:

My GF on the other hand LOVES being filmed.  Here's the weird part though.  As much as she loves being filmed, she doesn't really care that much about watching the film back.

In an ideal world, I would like to be recorded, either stills or video, just nude or having sex, but I really don’t have much interest in watching porn, myself or others.  (I do like watching in person, however.)  The only time I use porn, a few favorites on my phone, is when I'm traveling without a usual partner and need to masturbate.

 

Again, in an ideal world, I wouldn't mind if my body and sexual performances were on the internet for everyone to critique.  My professional performance in my career, my driving skills, the way I appear dressed, etc. are all out there for people to judge, so if people wanted to comment on my nude body or the sex acts that I do, my attitude ranges from "who cares?" to "we can discuss it and I defend it."

 

But that's a world that doesn't exist.  So for now, no pictures.  Even people who I trust can be hacked.

 

 

Edited October 15 by couplers

[lcmim 1,077]

Pictures can potentially cause trouble.

 

When I was seven, my best friend and I , at that point temporarily unsupervised, were exploring some drawers that were officially "off limits". Inside there were some nude photos of his parents.

 

While there were tame from my current perspective, they were not so for 1958. I am thankful to this day that both he and I had the sense to keep it to ourselves.

 

I did find her tits a wonder at that time.

[Anon321 519]

1 hour ago, couplers said:

In an ideal world, I would like to be recorded, either stills or video, just nude or having sex, but I really don’t have much interest in watching porn, myself or others.  (I do like watching in person, however.)  The only time I use porn, a few favorites on my phone, is when I'm traveling without a usual partner and need to masturbate.

 

Same with my GF.  It's like she gets off on guys recording her but she doesn't care if she sees it back or not.  Whereas I am definitely interested in seeing it back.

Edited October 15 by Anon321

[Shore2Please 603]

It wasn’t swinging it was college when a boyfriend had a camcorder that he set up on his desk. We would play it back after. Most of the time it was blurry or not focused on us. Other times he held the cam which wasn’t very enjoyable for me. Thankfully tapes aren’t a thing anymore and he isn’t in my life. I know for a fact he shared those tapes after or maybe before we broke up. I wonder what he would say if he knew I ended up a swinger. 

[Anon321 519]

2 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

It wasn’t swinging it was college when a boyfriend had a camcorder that he set up on his desk. We would play it back after. Most of the time it was blurry or not focused on us. Other times he held the cam which wasn’t very enjoyable for me. Thankfully tapes aren’t a thing anymore and he isn’t in my life. I know for a fact he shared those tapes after or maybe before we broke up. I wonder what he would say if he knew I ended up a swinger. 

I can't imagine anyone in college today not having a sex tape.  The difference is the quality is a lot better today and a lot easier to share.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,365]

4 hours ago, lcmim said:

When I was seven, my best friend and I , at that point temporarily unsupervised, were exploring some drawers that were officially "off limits". Inside there were some nude photos of his parents...

My Dad was something of an amateur photographer and even had a small darkroom.  When I was also quite young I was exploring off limits areas and found a collection of artistic nudes he took of my mother, then upon further digging found some hard-core photos as well!

 

I wasn't as scarred as you might think and sort of shrugged it off as a thing married adults just do.

 

And sure enough, when I grew up I did the same.

[AdamGunn2 370]

14 minutes ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

My Dad was something of an amateur photographer and even had a small darkroom.  When I was also quite young I was exploring off limits areas and found a collection of artistic nudes he took of my mother, then upon further digging found some hard-core photos as well!

Okay, we want the rest of the story . . . Were the hard core pictures of your mother as well?  If so, was the other person your dad, or someone else? If not, did you recognize the subject(s)?

 

You say your Dad 'was', that assumes he's no longer with us.  Did anyone find the photographs when you cleaned out his possessions?

Edited October 15 by AdamGunn2

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,365]

2 hours ago, AdamGunn2 said:

Okay, we want the rest of the story . . . Were the hard core pictures of your mother as well?  If so, was the other person your dad, or someone else? If not, did you recognize the subject(s)?

 

You say your Dad 'was', that assumes he's no longer with us.  Did anyone find the photographs when you cleaned out his possessions?

The hardcore pics were of my Mom and Dad lol.  It sounds terrible but I guess my Dad tried to make them artistic b&w so I wasn't repulsed. Not turned on but not repulsed.

 

My Dad is still alive but he and my mom got divorced decades ago.

 

I bet he still has those pics somewhere.

[Shore2Please 603]

On 10/15/2024 at 12:40 PM, Anon321 said:

can't imagine anyone in college today not having a sex tape.  The difference is the quality is a lot better today and a lot easier to share.

Today everyone has a phone but back then we had camcorders with VHS tapes and a vcr needed to play the tapes or watch it on the screen of the camera. 

[AdamGunn2 370]

8 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

Today everyone has a phone but back then we had camcorders with VHS tapes and a vcr needed to play the tapes or watch it on the screen of the camera. 

At the time, I was a supervisor in the camera section at a Best Buy, and young(er) couples would come in looking for video cams. As I'd been trained, one of my first questions was "And what are you planning to make movies of?"  The looks and blushes were wonderful . . .

[couplers 4,553]

On 10/15/2024 at 9:57 AM, Shore2Please said:

I wonder what he would say if he knew I ended up a swinger. 

He would say that he never should have let you get away. 

[TnA83 302]

On 10/15/2024 at 7:24 AM, lcmim said:

Pictures can potentially cause trouble.

 

When I was seven, my best friend and I , at that point temporarily unsupervised, were exploring some drawers that were officially "off limits". Inside there were some nude photos of his parents.

 

While there were tame from my current perspective, they were not so for 1958. I am thankful to this day that both he and I had the sense to keep it to ourselves.

 

I did find her tits a wonder at that time.

I found some photos of my mom, taken by my dad, when she was much younger. My dad had a home darkroom that had fallen out of use later on.  Even so, I never felt that she was sexy, even though she was quite a dish in those photos. My brother and I never mentioned them to this very day.  They are both 90 now and still live in their own home.  I wonder if those photos still exist...

 

I wonder how much those photos influences my rather lusty personality attributes...

[couplers 4,553]

On 10/15/2024 at 9:57 AM, Shore2Please said:

I know for a fact he shared those tapes after or maybe before we broke up.

How did that make you feel?  Embarrassed?  Excited?  Did you talk about it?  Did it give you any hint that you would become a swinger?

[PeterJ 926]

1 hour ago, TnA83 said:

I found some photos of my mom, taken by my dad, when she was much younger. My dad had a home darkroom that had fallen out of use later on.  Even so, I never felt that she was sexy, even though she was quite a dish in those photos. My brother and I never mentioned them to this very day.  They are both 90 now and still live in their own home.  I wonder if those photos still exist...

 

I wonder how much those photos influences my rather lusty personality attributes...

First, I’m pleased to learn your parents are able to live independently in their 90s. What a blessing! And I hope they are still able to enjoy together whatever level of physical intimacy makes sense for them.

 

Also, beyond the photos you and your brother viewed, perhaps your parents endowed you with a wider range of genetic and social factors that influenced your development of a strong libido. 😉😊

[Shore2Please 603]

1 hour ago, couplers said:

How did that make you feel?  Embarrassed?  Excited?  Did you talk about it?  Did it give you any hint that you would become a swinger?

Mad, angry. Talk no, yelled, cursed. 
I never thought of being a swinger. I only thought of sex as something I did with a boyfriend not being outgoing I was more shy, not sexually overactive. In retrospect I became less sexual and used. I didn’t have great sex at the time, it was expected sex. I’m thinking I pretended that sex with him was fun. It was so long ago all I can remember was that damn camera. 

[PeterJ 926]

2 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

Mad, angry. Talk no, yelled, cursed. 
I never thought of being a swinger. I only thought of sex as something I did with a boyfriend not being outgoing I was more shy, not sexually overactive. In retrospect I became less sexual and used. I didn’t have great sex at the time, it was expected sex. I’m thinking I pretended that sex with him was fun. It was so long ago all I can remember was that damn camera. 

S2P, what a terrible betrayal on the part of your former boyfriend. Your rage was fully warranted.

 

I’m pleased that you moved on from semi-obligatory sex with him to a fulfilling and happy erotic life in your marriage.

[Shore2Please 603]

2 hours ago, PeterJ said:

S2P, what a terrible betrayal on the part of your former boyfriend. Your rage was fully warranted.

 

I’m pleased that you moved on from semi-obligatory sex with him to a fulfilling and happy erotic life in your marriage.

It was so many years ago I only thought of it because of the question. I got over it, believe me. Haven’t we all done stupid things in our teens? Even the title boyfriend is stretching it, it wasn’t a long term thing. I wasn’t very sexual so he was a boyfriend in that we had sex. The video was more memorable than the sex. 
It’s funny that I’m a so called swinger but not compared to most posters to this board. We do have a happy life and marriage, erotically exciting with my husband and occasional meetings. 

[couplers 4,553]

21 minutes ago, Shore2Please said:

It’s funny that I’m a so called swinger but not compared to most posters to this board.

That's the way I feel.

 

22 minutes ago, Shore2Please said:

We do have a happy life and marriage, erotically exciting with my husband and occasional meetings. 

We do have a happy life and marriage, erotically exciting with my [husband] poly family and occasional meetings as well. 

 

I am fortunate that the men in my family (before Clair and Lora joined us, before we were even a family), didn't try to exploit me, just shared me, let me find my way, explore a little, and loved me.  Maybe by sharing me they were exploiting me, but I felt powerful and in control.