How long is to long

[Billygoat 443]

From a swinger group page on FB
 

“This is my first post here in this group, which is more than wonderful in terms of the amount of information and experiences of its members.... I have been a bull in the lifestyle for more than 5 years... and things have been going well every time... but the last time It was about 5 days ago.. My partner in playing said that I take too long in playing.. I usually ejaculate the first time after 2 hours... and the second time I can ejaculate after 7 or 8 hours and I can continue throughout Time without ejaculation.. because I am really enjoying it so much and I can have sex not only with my penis.. but with all my feelings, emotions, mind and literally every atom in my body feels sex.... Is the long time a problem or something undesirable!!!?”

 

 

“I enjoy extended play with my PPP, but generally I call it quits after 75 minutes with someone other than him …places to go, people to see, things to do. It’s also super rude at a club where you are taking up a playroom to extend beyond 90 mins, IMO.”

 

 

My comment:

 

Billygoat8one

Hhhmmmm. Well throwing away porn fantasy and exaggeration in our over 25 years active in the lifestyle, hosting parties, group activities, women’s fantasy events, multiple gangbang events we have never met or experienced a woman who desired or endured a single man thrusting into them continually for an hour and a half let alone for several hours not to mention a man being able to without taking something, injecting something, strapping on something or inflating something. So my guess is you are stopping, starting, changing activity, position, style etc. everyone we know, play/played with, club members all expect a beginning, a pleasurable middle and an end. The satisfaction of each participant that they pleasured their partner. That they did that. As a organizer of swinger events, group/club owner, group sex/orgy and gangbang host we have hours of talking with couples and mostly women participants (mostly newbies) on their curiosities, concerns and their perceived inadequacies. Women that felt they were not enough or desired or not capable. Which has always been a bit absurd to me as without willing, sexually adventurous women all you would have is a room full of naked hairy men with nothing to do. In most cases women feel a sexual confidence in making their playmate finish, orgasm. And have a better sense of sexual accomplishment by doing again if the same partner recovers and can go again. So I can expect a negative experience if after an hour or two playing and positions if she can’t get her playmate/partner to orgasm they may feel inadequate, not skilled or desired enough. Yes there are some who from time to time desire lengthily activity, positions and multiple partners I can state factually their sense of sexual self is not just her pleasure/orgasms/adventure but equally importantly satisfying her partner/partners and having them come back for more leaving them totally sated, drained. For the women (small percentage of) that can orgasm from just penetrative thrusting alone a partner who can control themselves to activity thrust and grind (mostly regardless of size and girth, technique control rules here) continually for 15 - 30 minutes can be very satisfying for her. A fewer percentage that can be truly multi orgasmic with a solo partner one that has that control can be spectacular. But I can tell you that at some point she is going to want you to finish, to pop as that completes her satisfaction.

 

 

Of the other 29 comments most were men advertising/offering their prowess and longevity and jumping on the few women who responded with comments and offers….the usual crap.

 

Of the few women respondents non were interested in someone who went hours.  And the lady I quoted above was the only one that stated she enjoyed someone long lasting/endurance.

 

So I thought I would share here.

 

Your thoughts?

[TnA83 302]

75-90 minutes is too long.  My wife gets off in 15 to 20 minutes and if I don't get off in a half hour, she's done.  I'm done too, as my body has gone aerobic by then and there's no blood going to my weiner any more.  Very pleasurable for that half hour, maybe even 45 minutes, but not longer, it becums a chore at that point.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,365]

I couldn't do 90 minutes in my wildest dreams but some guys can and so can my wife.  I've seen 3 straight hours.

[bbarnsworth 2,634]

In the actual act of having sex? Yeah, more than half an hour is pretty darned long. But, the entire play session? I've been part of an MFM that lasted about three hours, on and off (mostly on). My wife had a fantastic time. For my part, I very much enjoy making my partners enjoy the experience. I'll do a lot to lead up to vaginal sex, with lots of foreplay, erotic massage, oral sex, kissing, etc. I've never had a woman complain (either in the lifestyle or vanilla) about taking 20-30 minutes to actually get to vaginal sex.

 

On the flip side of that, we played with a couple once where the other wife wanted things two go fast fast fast. She got to giving me head very quick, and was moving like a jack hammer on me. The husband was too quick with my wife, and my wife wasn't as wet as she'd like to be when he penetrated her. We never played with them again :)

[Numex 2,346]

I am usually a slow cummer because as someone said above, I enjoy it too much and don't want to end. If I feel myself getting close to orgasm/ejaculation, I instinctively back off. So I usually go 30 to 45 minutes. If it's just my wife and me, she'll cum twice or thrice in that time, but if we're in a real hurry I can do it in 5 minutes. In a swinging situation I will go as long as my partner wants, maybe 15 minutes, an orgasm, then stop, eat her out if she likes, then move on to another woman for another 15 minutes or so and cum in her. There was one time, however, I kept going and didn't cum until I finished with the 4th woman.

 

 

[AdamGunn2 370]

I would say that the average time of a sexual episode, from the time a button was first loosed to everyone saying ‘that’s enough’, was around forty-five minutes to an hour. By that time, my wife Mary had orgasmed a few times, and her partner (and I, if it was a foursome), had come as well.

 

If we were in a private home, the pattern was to have some drinks and snacks sitting around naked. Then, depending on the mood, things might get sexy again, and we’d go for round 2. Many a night lasted three hours or more, but much of that wasn’t having sex, just being in a sexy atmosphere.

 

That kind of environment might happen at our swing club, if it was a slow Friday night. There were plenty of rooms, and we didn’t figure we were freezing anyone out. But on a busy night, we were out of the room within fifteen minutes of finishing up, we figured it was just polite.

[Mikey477 42]

Definitely no more than 1 hour. But, like most of everyone said, 30-45 minutes is a good amount of time. 

[PeterJ 926]

"How long is too long?"
 

That depends. There  are a number of factors to consider — location of the play, age of the participants, planned activities afterwards, etc. But when it comes to PIV intercourse these are my guidelines. I should actively fuck my partner until she has reached orgasm(s) but before it becomes uncomfortable for her. 
 

When I was in my 20s and 30s and having sex with women in my age cohort, a session of thrusting intercourse could range from five minutes for fast cummers to (with brief pauses) more than an hour for partners who took a lot of stimulation to reach orgasm, or the number of orgasms they desired. That I had very short refractory times (in some cases zero) helped with partners who wanted/required longer times. Wearing out my partners’ pussies and causing immediate discomfort was not a major concern. (They might be sore later, but that usually wasn’t a factor during the fucking interlude itself.)

 

Now that I’m in my mid-70s and my youngest partners tend to be pre- or post-menopausal, things tend to be different. Even if they are on hormone supplements and/or we use lottsa lube, longer sessions are more likely to cause immediate buzz-killing discomfort. In my experience 10 or 15 minutes of thrusting and they are done for the session. For some of my relatively recent partners that means they are going to reach orgasm through oral or masturbation (usually with a vibe).
 

 

[Numex 2,346]

in our group, sometimes a guy who is a slow cummer will span two women, starts with one, she has an orgasm or two, then he finishes with mutual orgasms in another woman. More often, however, even if a woman has an orgasm or two with a guy, once she finishes she's ready for another guy or some oral. Hardly ever is a guy wanting oral immediately after he's blown his load.