Condom use during oral?

[PiedmontPlayers 3]

Husband/Wife couple here.

We've been getting acquainted with the scene for a short while now and are happily looking forward to expanding our limited menu of sexy fun.

So far we enjoy voyeurism/exhibitionism, mutual masturbation and same room only parallel play. We both agree that our next adventure is to add oral sex to our (her) menu.

She wasn't even sure if she would enjoy giving head if the guy was wearing a condom so we experimented and I put one on for the first time in 20 yrs.

She gave it a 7 out of 10, me... a 5 at best. But health and safety are of course very important. Even if we ever do get to full swap level, it will always be with condom use 100%.

So we're asking, what does the general opinion seem to be among the swinging scene about condom use for oral sex?

 

[NC_Seniors 518]

I might be wrong, but I *believe* it’s frowned upon and that 99% don’t use them. And a condom on the other male addresses only half of the equation … what about your male going down on the other female? Are you going to insist on using something such as a dental dam? Pretty much 100% of women are going to ask what’s the point of giving them oral at all in that case.

Edited October 29 by NC_Seniors

[PiedmontPlayers 3]

So it's the male half here. And your answer doesn't surprise me.

While she didn't mind it when I tested with a condom, she wasn't nearly as jazzed about it as normal. I didn't see the point myself.

And as far as I go, I'd reserve oral for only her for just the reason you mention.

It feels a little odd to think that we'll be more comfortable with protected penetrative sex than unprotected oral.

 

What strategies are there other than trust to overcome the STI risks in these casual situations?

For both of us, all of our sexual experiences have been established monogamist relationships so this has never been an issue for us.

[PeterJ 940]

8 hours ago, PiedmontPlayers said:

So we're asking, what does the general opinion seem to be among the swinging scene about condom use for oral sex?

 

I find pleasing a woman orally extremely enjoyable and satisfying. My wife, on the other hand, experiences substantial anxiety about possible bladder infections from receiving oral. Years ago we tried using a dental dam. She got little or no enjoyment from it. I thought it was like licking a balloon. 
 

For me, one of the benefits of the lifestyle is that I can engage in particular sexual activities I enjoy that she doesn’t. 
 

@PiedmontPlayers, your post is in the context of a broader lifestyle issue, STI risk management. Good that the two of you are being thoughtful about this. There may be activities the two of you enjoy together (beyond condomless intercourse) that you aren’t going to do with other partners. You can still have a lot of fun.

[AdamGunn2 393]

We were concerned about disease, and both of us religiously required condoms for PIV intercourse. 

But because it seemed the risk of disease transmission for oral sex was less common, we made the decision to accept the very small risk, and didn't use any protection for oral, either way.

Neither of us ever contacted any detectable STI.

 

Of course, my investigation into oral sex risk is dated - at least a decade old - so you might wish to do your own research. 

[Anon321 521]

She has done it before but she does not enjoy it.

[ConfusedHubby 118]

We don't even really like condom use for PIV.   We'd hard pass on condoms for oral, no interest in that.

[PiedmontPlayers 3]

Thanks all for confirming my suspicion.

[Numex 2,409]

3 hours ago, ConfusedHubby said:

We don't even really like condom use for PIV.

That's why we're in a closed group, bareback for all, all the time. Even anal. Tested, tested before we started and no playing outside the group.

[njbm 2,868]

I am Mr.(anti-) STD, but when swinging, we have never used condoms or dental dams for oral sex.  It may be safer, but it does not seem appealing. We use condoms for intercourse with other people.  Seems to be the consensus for swingers. 

Edited October 30 by njbm

[PiedmontPlayers 3]

17 hours ago, Numex said:

That's why we're in a closed group, bareback for all, all the time. Even anal. Tested, tested before we started and no playing outside the group.

That really would open up a whole lot of freedom for us to enjoy ourselves!

[Numex 2,409]

8 hours ago, PiedmontPlayers said:

That really would open up a whole lot of freedom for us to enjoy ourselves!

The only freedom we have given up is play outside our group, but our group is large enough, seven couples including us, that there is sufficient variety among us and the thrill of bareback. Both the men and women love that.