Any help/advice/guidance welcome!

[MrBator2024 0]

Good evening everyone 

Just looking for a bit of advice/opinions/support. For a long time now, I've longed to get into swinging/swapping/cucking. My wife on the otherhand isn't as keen as me. We've spoken about it twice before a year or so ago. The first time it wasn't even a conversation, just straight no. The second time 6 months or so later it was mentioned again. She asked a few questions, who, why, how etc. But ultimately resulted in a no again. She found out my reasons behind it, and one of them is I love the thought of other guys being turned on by her. I said I love guys who look at her when we're out and about. Our next holiday, I mentioned this and she let me choose some quite revealing swimwear to wear which she was more than happy to.

Is it something people tend to warm to or am I chasing a lost dream with this?

Would her reactions suggest she is somewhat interested?


Would love to hear your thoughts guys

[Bob E 36]

2 hours ago, MrBator2024 said:

Good evening everyone 

Just looking for a bit of advice/opinions/support. For a long time now, I've longed to get into swinging/swapping/cucking. My wife on the otherhand isn't as keen as me. We've spoken about it twice before a year or so ago. The first time it wasn't even a conversation, just straight no. The second time 6 months or so later it was mentioned again. She asked a few questions, who, why, how etc. But ultimately resulted in a no again. She found out my reasons behind it, and one of them is I love the thought of other guys being turned on by her. I said I love guys who look at her when we're out and about. Our next holiday, I mentioned this and she let me choose some quite revealing swimwear to wear which she was more than happy to.

Is it something people tend to warm to or am I chasing a lost dream with this?

Would her reactions suggest she is somewhat interested?


Would love to hear your thoughts guys

I can't give you advise.  All I can relate is how my wife and I got into swinging.

It started by her having a one night stand with a guy.  When she came home, we went to bed, and she would not let me eat her pussy.

She just said she wanted me inside her.  As I slid into her, I could tell she had had sex already.  She was very wet and a little sticky.

After I was in, I told her I could tell she had, had sex with someone.  After some prompting, she admitted she had.  (I was a little turned on, yet a little jealous)

I asked her why, and she said she just wanted to see how a different cock felt.  We finished fucking our brains out and had long hot oral sex afterwards.

The next day I brought up swinging to her.  At first, she wasn't to open to it.  But then I asked her if she truly loved me.  She replied Yes, more than anyone.

I said I loved her the same.  I went on, swinging is just sex !  Not love.  You like the feel of different cocks. I like the feel of different vaginas.

In swinging, you can have all the sex you want, with no lies, stories, or excuses, and so can I.

After a few days of talking it over, she agreed to try it.

We went to swinging groups for almost 4 years.  I watched her have sex with over 40 guys,  and she watched me with the same number of women.

OUR sex life was FANTASTIC all that time.  Sadly, she died of cancer.

The point is:  You BOTH must be Totally in love with each other !  And understand you are just having sex with others -- Not Making Love !

So it is up to the both of you.   What you want.

[AdamGunn2 418]

You're traveling on a road many men have been on before, and I hope I have some hints for you.  But the first one is:

 

              DON'T PUSH HER

 

If you try to move faster than she's willing to go, you'll turn her off permanently, and you may up damaging your marriage.  

 

Now, what you've failed to give us is the reasons why she's against the idea of getting into non-monogamy. Do you know what they are?  Have you had serious conversations with her regarding her considerations?  If not, why not? She's got as much skin in this game as you do, and her desires (including the possibility of continued monogamy) are as valid as yours.  Unless you accept this, you're probably fighting a losing battle.  Talk to her!

 

On the bright side, many women in her situation have been conditioned to believe that monogamy is the societal standard, and that staying on that path is the only ethical decision. Then, over time, they begin to see that the possibility of opening up the marriage isn't a death knoll for the relationship, and they become interested and then (possibly,) they decide to go along with the idea.  So you're not completely out of the water.

 

Best of luck.

 

(BTW, white text on a black background is terribly hard to read; please forego that habit.)

[Numex 2,459]

21 hours ago, MrBator2024 said:

Is it something people tend to warm to or am I chasing a lost dream with this?

I totally agree with AdamGunn2 it's best that you -

 

2 hours ago, AdamGunn2 said:

DON'T PUSH HER

Actually, do the opposite and just tell your wife that it would make you happy if she explored and expanded her sexuality with you expecting nothing in return.  Let her decide who, what, where, when, how she would like to expand her sex life, with full and total support from you and no criticism from you on her choices.  Listen if she wants to talk about her adventures, but don't press her for any details.  Take joy in the pleasures that she finds and give her empathy when things don't rock her.  That's what I did and eventually my wife really wanted me involved and brought me along, first into MFM with her lovers, now we do couples swaps.  Make it about her and good luck.

Edited December 5 by Numex