Pregnancy help

[Mikey477 46]

Suppose you and your spouse have been swinging with another couple for like a long time. The other couple wants another baby in their life, but they have trouble getting pregnant for the past few years. They come to you two and ask if you both could help them out. Would you both help them get pregnant? 

 

Obviously if you're fixed you can't help, but this is if you aren't fixed.

[AdamGunn2 418]

I'd talk with a lawyer first, about paternity issues.

But if they were fine with the idea, and you're fine with the idea, sure, why not?

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

It's a lot cheaper than getting a sperm donor and IVF.

 

However, as AdamGunn noted, there's very...VERY...significant legal issues involved. Take with a lawyer first. Even if the couple signs off on everything, and it appears your not legally obligated to the child, there's a very high chance that the courts will rule you responsible for child support. Be careful.

[couplers 4,713]

Laws vary significantly among states and countries.  For example, paternity can depend on whether the woman is married, which in some jurisdictions makes the child the husband’s for all purposes.  In some jurisdictions, a sperm donor avoids  child support obligations not by agreement between the parties, but by going through an approved sperm bank, even if the woman chooses "direct deposit."

 

Also, a few places will enforce surrogacy agreements, forcing a woman who gestates and births a child not genetically her own to give it up; many will not.  And there's the whole egg donation thing.  Some places allow payment beyond costs to the donor, some do not.  Payments encourage good looking, athletic women with Ph.D.s to donate.

[couplers 4,713]

Definitely get a lawyer involved.  Even though all the children in our family are products of us, there are significant legal issues that I'm glad we have addressed - from who can pick a kid up from school, to medical decisions, to guardianship and inheritance. 

[oldswinger64 112]

Yes, there is the legal consideration, but I think the emotional considerations are larger.  If the relationship continues with this couple, how will you feel when you find the child is causing trouble in school, or they are disciplining your child in a way with which you are not comfortable? If you lose contact with the couple, how do you feel knowing that you have another son or daughter with whom you have no contact.  Genetics can be a stronger bond than some people think.

[couplers 4,713]

@oldswinger64  You are correct, even when done anonymously both the donor and the child can be left to wonder.  But many donors want to remain anonymous, and that's why opening adoption records (or in some cases donation records) is controversial.