Sick spouse

[Mikey477 47]

Damn, wife and I were going to play with one of our regular couples this weekend, but she caught a bad cold. Wish she could come along to play, but ya know, feeling unwell is feeling unwell. Of course, she and I already established that we can play alone with other couples if one of us got sick. Still, it would have been more fun.

 

I've gotten sick myself, and couldn't go with my wife to play with other couples. At least my wife promised to sent pictures to me after the fun, which I still enjoyed.

 

How would y'all feel if your spouse couldn't come with you to have some fun, due to being sick?

[NWAtlSwing 526]

Neither of us would go play without the other even though we would both be like "Go play"

[njbm 2,918]

We have not played separately. Also, if one spouse has a cold, the other spouse is probably a day behind.   
On a related note, we have friends whose profile says “same room, separate room, front seat, back seat, same state, separate state.”

[couplers 4,735]

When we play outside our poly family, which is infrequent other than with one couple, we have no rules about being alone or who needs to be there, for us or them.

 

Every couple has their own approach, however.  Part of it for us, I think, is that with all our damn kids someone, usually more than one, has to stay behind.

 

For me personally, in our early days of our strictly MFM relationship and when it came to me wanting David to play as well, many of my female friends were eager to fuck my good-looking, safe, polite husband, but few wanted me there to watch.  Not being there is a different kind of thrill.

Edited December 21 by couplers

[AdamGunn2 420]

Like NWAtl, we would stay home to take care of our spouse. Even though both would say, go, have fun. 

 

On the other hand, we had a foursome planned with a regular couple once and the wife had to go out of town - a sudden family thing. We invited the husband over for an MFM and had a great amount of fun.

 

Bottom line, you do you, just make sure there's no hurt feelings.

[Mikey477 47]

Update:

 

Had plenty of fun with the couple, even though my wife wasn't there. I showed them love, and they showed me love. In the end, got to come home well spent and laid in bed with my lovely wife.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,435]

As for me I would just feel weird showing up without my wife - despite the fact that my wife has attended a few 'events' without me.  I feel like a single woman is always welcome but single men, much less so.

[TnA83 315]

Me and my former girlfriend had an encounter planned in Vegas during a work convention.  We met the other couple at the casino, but my GF had caught a bug on the flight out there. We met the other couple to show that we were for real, and politely begged off. It would have been a great time, she even said she would rally, but we stayed at our room and cuddled all evening. Lovely time either way. 

[Fundamental Law 2,920]

For us, this would never be a question: our first and highest priority is the well-being of each other. If one of us is ill, we focus attention on getting that person through the illness. Play with others while one of us is unwell isn't just "off the table". it's inconceivable. This is independent of what the other couple might think or respond. 

[lcmim 1,089]

Fundamental,

For short term, there is in fact a "through this" condition, we would generally concur with concentrating on each other.

We are also aware of permanent disabling conditions in which one of us would encourage the other to play. This would relieve at least some of the stress in long term care.

 

Another side of this same issue would be playmates in which one or the other is widowed.

I think we have all seen in the vanilla world and in the life style that people are dropped from the social list because of the death of a spouse.

Would either of us allow the other to be available in such circumstances? Absolutely.

This is  practical, civil and humane.

[Fundamental Law 2,920]

9 minutes ago, lcmim said:

Fundamental,

For short term, there is in fact a "through this" condition, we would generally concur with concentrating on each other.

We are also aware of permanent disabling conditions in which one of us would encourage the other to play. This would relieve at least some of the stress in long term care.

 

Another side of this same issue would be playmates in which one or the other is widowed.

I think we have all seen in the vanilla world and in the life style that people are dropped from the social list because of the death of a spouse.

Would either of us allow the other to be available in such circumstances? Absolutely.

This is  practical, civil and humane.

We wouldn't disagree. The OP started with the scenario of an acute illness, not a permanent disabling or terminal condition. 

 

As biomedical types witnessing all manner of chronic, disabling, and even terminal conditions, we can testify to the disruptions those cause to social, emotional, spiritual, and financial lives. Empathy matters. Joan Price has written on this, and we often recommend her recently-updated book https://joanprice.com/product/sex-after-grief-2024-edition to those who have recently lost their spouses. There is a balance to be struck between introspection during grief and intersections that sustain life.