Getting started

[NikkiAroB 1]

So my wife and I are completely new to the lifestyle. Not even sure if this is what we are looking for. We talk about it a lot and have even found different routes to doing a swap, but looking for some advice on how to take it slow. We are both so nervous, and just want to work out why. 
It seems like a couples speed dating night might be interesting and give us more insight, but there are clubs around us and other venues that support the lifestyle so we do have some options… again, just not sure how to navigate the pace of everything and not get caught up in the excitement and make an uncomfortable situation.

we are just super open minded and adventurous and we think this is the next step, but again… where to start just to understand the vibe and expectations. TIA

[NC_Seniors 523]

Well, our first time with another couple was full swap, so *maaayyyyybe* we’re not the best ones to advise you! 😂 That said, our first 2-3 times at a club or house party, we just snagged a playroom and made our own fun. There’s actually something pretty hot and exciting about having sex when you can hear the music thumping and the voices of people right outside the door, so maybe start there. Then when you’re comfortable with that, the next time at a club or party, try to find another newbie couple — you’ll know them because they’re getting the orientation tour just like you did — and ask them if they’d like to share a bed with you … each couple just staying together.  Or you can even ask an experienced couple for that. Most will say yes in the spirit of helping out an INexperienced couple … we certainly would have. Unlike with swapping, you don’t even really have to find a 4-way attraction for that since you won’t be swapping partners … you just have to think that the other couple wouldn’t be UNattractive naked! 😂 After that, you’ll know if you want to progress to soft and then full swap. Hope that helps.

[kellimc 241]

I think Meet n' Greets might be the best way for you to start off.  They are no pressure, no obligation environments where you can meet a wide variety of people in the lifestyle.  You're almost certain to find other couples that you hit it off with, and not just in a sexual context.  The point is to find others in the lifestyle that you are comfortable and compatible with.

 

You can joint online sites like SLS, Kasidie, etc. to find Meet n' Greets in your area.  

 

Hope that helps. 

[oldswinger64 126]

And I would suggest you go slow.  Moving too fast and getting yourself in situations where one of you isn't comfortable can ruin the whole journey.