Messaging and Chatting

[gokuandchichi 8]

Hi Everyone.  I am a bit curious if this is the norm in swinging or maybe even just in Australia.  

We have been in the lifestyle for just over 18 months.  We are seperate swingers in the same venue.  We meet plenty of people as we are friendly and resonably good looking.  After meeting people we usually get details for messaging.  What I am finding is that if I (the make) don't message then there is no conversation.  I am not talking about the initial 1st message.  I am talking about weeks of messages later, it still is only me that messages first.  Even women who approach me first in the club.  Just to clarify, I don't message everyday.  I get a constant barrage of messages and emails from work so sometimes I don't feel like messaging.  That being said I will always answer a message within the hour.  This leads me to a few questions.

 

1. Does this only happen in Australia?

2. If this is so, perhaps a reason from the Ladies.  Would love to have some insight

3. Am I doing something wrong?  

 

Any help would be appreciated

[gokuandchichi 8]

Guess it is just me then   

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,481]

With us, I usually coordinate the first couple meets and do all the messaging, although it does flow both ways.  After one or two successful meets my wife gets involved and, in most instances, takes over correspondence and scheduling.  So sometimes I come home from work and she'll tell me we're seeing so-and-so this werk.  Sometimes I come home from work and so-and-so is already there.

[Fundamental Law 2,943]

4 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

With us, I usually coordinate the first couple meets and do all the messaging, although it does flow both ways.  After one or two successful meets my wife gets involved and, in most instances, takes over correspondence and scheduling.  So sometimes I come home from work and she'll tell me we're seeing so-and-so this week.  Sometimes I come home from work and so-and-so is already there.

We echo this pattern.

 

As the extrovert in the couple, I am the one online/corresponding/filtering etc. I'm the one that arranges the first meet or two. Ultimately, the ladies have to decide whether they like and trust each other: it is a 'true truism' that ladies run the LS. Once they decide that time spent with each other is enjoyable/fun/well-spent, I tend to back off and let them run things. And yes, pretty soon I'll hear that couple X is coming for dinner, or we are going over to their place, or whatever. 

 

The core issue is that most couples have a (relative) extrovert, without whom nothing would ever happen, There is also a (relative) introvert who has to decide that the "stress"--and it is a stress for introverts to be around other people--is worth the experience. What's interesting is that the introvert who eventually drops the extrovert mask and really engages often becomes the strength of the foursome. 

[WesternSwing 524]

My wife and I don't meet people from the swingers sites, as we are what I call "opportunistic swingers", these days. But my ex-wife and I were very active on one site that started in our state back in the early 2000's. I would usually do all the messaging only because she wasn't interested checking the site everyday and doing that part of it. But, we would read and craft responses together. I found that most of the couples we played with were similar in their arrangement of who checks the site for messages and upcoming parties or makes the initial contact with someone we were interested in.