Condom Use: principles vs the heat of the moment

[Karen12345 15]

Hello, welcome to a little poll and discussion about "principles vs the heat of the moment".

 

Are swingers very disciplined concerning principles like for example always using condoms? What happens to your principles when things actually happen: a party, a little drunk, sex everywhere...

 

The discussion should not be limited to condoms, but all broken principles and arrangements are the topic, e.g. only soft swap, no kissing, never in different rooms, always this, never that, and so on ...

[dave110256 21]

I have learned to never say never.

[julie_marc 15]

"never say never"... yes I agree. We are active swingers since about three years and there are many things that happened unexpected, unplaned or unintended. Concerning condoms, we started with the intention to never swing without using condoms because of health concerns. But there were a few occasions, where "in the heat of the moment" we broke this rule. But even if we would have been absolute disciplined about using condoms, there were situations where the condom that my partner was using broke or slipped of without us noticing in time. So my advice is that if you decide to swing with other people, you can in no way count on NEVER doing it without condom!

 

Julie

[Spoomonkey 420]

We are rather disciplined about condom use.

 

Funny, though, we have run into people who, after we tell this to, think that "in the heat of the moment" we really won't care. We had one couple ask us to break it (on our first play, no less) because the husband was having trouble finishing. And we had a single try to "slip it by" so to speak.

 

Oddly, when reminded, he could no longer keep himself hard.

 

I voted "with select couples..." because we have had one couple that we felt comfortable enough with. But it wasn't "heat of the moment" - we discussed it in depth before the play dates that we had with them.

 

Spoomonkey

[xxoticangel 98]

In principle we always insist on condoms during penetration. In reality there have been times that "in the heat of the moment" we have forgone their use. Why? I can't really say other than our passions were so high we didn't think about it until after everything was over. We've also had them break and slip off without realizing it. There has been two couples and one single that we were comfortable enough playing with to not use condoms but those were special situations with long term partners.

[JustAskJulie 2,592]

I will admit to being one of those that has been swayed by the heat of the moment, or other things. The thought is there but the words just aren't.

 

That got me in trouble (well not so much me but the other guy) one time early on. I was at a swing party with quite a few other couples, my hubby was off doing someone, and I was going at it with the host. Next thing I know we are doing the horizontal mamba.. next thing after that his wife comes in and a pretty ugly scene ensues.

 

I realize it wasn't my fault, but I still felt pretty bad about the whole situation, and we left shortly after. We actually didn't return to that party for several months because of that.

[julie_marc 15]

Similar thing happened to us. We were together with another married couple and swaped. I had a very good time with the other guy and things got so hot that we had sex without condom. But the fun ended abruptly when his wife noticed it - she was very upset that he was not using a condom. In contrast me and my hubby also agreed on using condoms with others, but we allow each other the freedom to make an exception from time to time.

[EvilMJ 65]

A definate always....especially considering I can still have children....!! No thank you!

 

Now with our best friends we are comfortable enough for my husband not to use a condom because the wife has been 'fixed' and there is no concern for diseases. However her hubby is not, so we always use a condoms.

[Belkin 15]

We always, always, always use condoms with others.

 

Unless they came straight from the lab, how can anyone be 100% sure they are completely std-free?

 

Condoms add a level of safety and, in my opinion, show a level of respect for your partner.

[northindycpl 32]

Does anyone use condoms for blowjobs too?

[CplBeginners23 15]

When we startet visiting clubs, we only watched the other couples and let them watch us. One time we ended up kissing with another couple and having oral sex. It was great, but not planned at all. Heat of the moment I guess.

[nhcpl1968 18]

The heat of the moment can happen even if you always use condoms. It has happened to us but it was discovered before it was too late.

[mde 4764 15]

We always, always, always use condoms with others.

 

Unless they came straight from the lab, how can anyone be 100% sure they are completely std-free?

 

Condoms add a level of safety and, in my opinion, show a level of respect for your partner.

 

Even if they just came from the lab is by no means 100% sure of anything. HIV can be present for several months before it will show up in a blood test.

[wiscpl 22]

Does anyone use condoms for BlowJobs too?

 

This is an interesting point, northindycpl. STD's can be spread through the exchange of bodily fluids. The act of felatio can easily spread herpes or any other little germ that decides to take a trip to a new host. We have yet to meet a couple that insisted on condoms for penetration use them for male or female oral. I would be willing to bet this to be the norm through most of the community. And for those who do use them for oral mrs wiscpl would like to know how they get past the latex taste.

[ktimephoenix 156]

We both have an agreement, with new couples, condoms are worn. after we get to know and trust them, we are open to the idea of going without them, but haven't hit that situation yet.

 

But even in the heat of the moment, even if we're intoxicated, safety is at the forefront of our minds.

[twoready4fun 15]

We always use condoms. If we ever become exclusive with another couple, there is a slim possiblity that could change once everyone got tested.

[lacouples 16]

We don't have many rules, but we always use condoms for penetration. On one occasion a condom broke during anal. As soon as I noticed I stopped. The woman I was playing with would have continued, but my wife and I live by the condom rule.

[nhcpl1968 18]

We always use condoms with folks we don't know. If we have know them for some time and can trust them we just go with whatever happens.

[hannah_mark 15]

Each to their own but I find this an odd question. I have never allowed another male (or a toy for that matter) penetrate me when swinging unless they are wearing a condom. The same applies with Rob. He always, without question, wears a condom when penetrating another woman.

 

Safety is so important to us. We feel that anyone who doesn't wish to use protection really shows a lack of respect for the people they're playing with. I suppose it's down to each couple.

[hannah_mark 15]

Does anyone use condoms for blowjobs too?

 

We don't ask for that but we have been asked to do this before and really don't mind. I suppose there's been a handful of times when condoms have been used for a blow job and, once, we used dental dams as well.

[Formybubu 54]

We choose to go bareback as we are both fixed and the condoms cause rashes for both of us. But when we are with a new couple(we know who does and does not use them for the couple we have played with ) We use a code we just say Yes or No if one says yes then we know a condom will be used. But if she says no and the other person says use onefor me We will stop playing with that couple as we do not play with couple who don't play by the same rules. It is either yes for both males or no. Not you have to with me but he doesn't with her.

[shywife 15]

My ex was extremely hot for sloppy seconds - I just couldn't go there knowing the risks.

[sweet_tna 680]

Condom use is one of our few hard and fast rules. As long as it's still a rule, we're following it. No exceptions.

 

(And yes, the pun is intentional)

 

=)

[red96 17]

Last time we played I stopped our friend from penetrating the Mrs. without a condom. Not sure if it was a heat of the moment thing or he was just seeing if he could get away with not using one. We always want our partner to wear a condom, maybe if we were in a situation that became a regular thing and we all got tested we would consider not using them. But for now we require condom use for penetration and we also bring some with us just in case our partner doesn't have any.

[Brian and Jo 344]

We do most of our playing with a group of six couples we have known for over 20 years. We do not use condoms when we are with them. But if we are with a new couple or a couple we have not known for some time condoms are essential.

[Tina and Bob 236]

As a general statement we require condoms, but with certain partners and one heat of the moment situation a condom was not used by the male on me.

[wisconsin 58]

In 1.5 years of swinging only I time I was willing to take the risk and play without condoms. It was our second time I and my husband played with my BF.I asked them both if it's ok to play bareback.After a minute of silence they both said,"Yes".

Otherwise our condom rule is non negotiable ever not matter how hot and exciting it gets.

[mde 4764 15]

Getting tested is a joke. It really doesn't prove anything. Person has to be exposed to aids for about 6 months before they will test positive. Just because someone test neg. for all STD's does not insure that they are negative. It either means they were negative at the time of test or the incubation period was too short to show up positive.

 

As for going bareback with only those that you have known for a long time. You don't live with these people. You don't actually know what or who they do when not in your presence.

[InTheEU 15]

It's pretty much a rule for us during intercourse but not oral. Not really 100% safe. Still many risks involved. We only had it happen once during intercourse without and that was our first time with another guy. We are more worried about an unwanted pregnancy, although lately since we have a child we are thinking about more ways to be safe for other issues. Birth control is used now, but it really plays with the Mrs' internals. Might have to rethink the no condom oral approach.

[StewartP 171]

I cannot imagine a scenario where I wouldn't use a condom for penetration. I have been in the 'throes of passion" right there at the gates and I've always stopped to put a condom on. And change condoms between partners in group sex. Alcohol is always likely to give me performance issues so I never drink when playing.

 

I'm no superman, but my fear of STDs keeps me under control!!

[celtic239 297]

As a safety precaution, when we go to a club I always put a few condoms in one of my pockets. While not denying that the "heat of moment" does happen, if it takes me about 30 seconds to shed my shoes, socks and pants an additional 30 seconds to put a condom on will not spoil the moment.

[EroticImaginati 16]

Because we mainly meet new people at parties, and the sexual tension of the atmosphere is already so high that you know you are probably going to hook up, we always use condoms.

[Guest Aching]

Our choice is always bareback. For us, the reason to do it is to enjoy the complete natural experiene. But we're not stupid and won't ever happen until we get to know and trust, then bareback. If we can't trust no disease, then we wouldn't want to do it at all.

 

Looking for a close group of exclusive married couples.

 

This is not a debate, just our preference.

[twistedpretzels 100]

We have been looking for a few cpls/singles that we can be less restricted with the use of condoms for about 2 years. We've found it a bit diff to find the right folks for us. We have happened on a few fems but one ended up being extremely active for us (lots of sls hot dates posted, FB comments of who she scored etc and other stuff too) to feel comfortable about, the other, after I came down with blisters (hsv1- thank goodness, but we didn't know for a week. P and I had been std checked the same week as her), 'rechecked' her results- and low and behold she had hsv2. We never told her I had hsv1, we just backed away from her FAST. At this point, we are reassessing where we are going with all of this..... We understand the risks, WE are upfront and honest, we would like to find a similar couple or two...