Things not to do in a picture

[Chicup 41]

Ok this one is funny.

 

Woman is holding the camera up well above her head and looking into it taking her own photo. She's kinda smiling but looks like she's either been crying for an hour or someone beat her in the last week.

 

I'm talking black around the eyes, swollen cheeks and eyes, just...bad.

 

And shes listed at almost 200 lbs at 5'7" but that photo is either just from a very magical angle or quite old, hard to say.

 

Only photo.

 

Oh and they want a single female of course.

 

Edit: Just a side note. The next ones main profile picture is fine, them standing outside hugging, full face shots. Their second photo has both of their faces blurred out, fully clothed. .... ummm....

[slevin 1,374]

Chicup said:

Ok this one is funny.

 

Woman is holding the camera up well above her head and looking into it taking her own photo. She's kinda smiling but looks like she's either been crying for an hour or someone beat her in the last week.

 

That's called the myspace angle

 

Urban Dictionary: myspace angle

[PB&J 1,086]

Just saw a what were they thinking? one. Woman sitting on floor in front of an open suitcase. Looking up at an unattractive angle. Hair a mess, no makeup, wearing frumpy sweatshirt and jeans....

 

Why bother??

[exploringRM 305]

Just saw a what were they thinking? one. Woman sitting on floor in front of an open suitcase. Looking up at an unattractive angle. Hair a mess, no makeup, wearing frumpy sweatshirt and jeans....

 

Why bother??

 

To quote Flip Wilson in his Geraldine character "What you see is what you get!" (strange I had not though of Flip Wilson for decades but that line came into my head when i read your response! Amazing what somewhat useless trivia I find in there)

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

Just saw a what were they thinking? one. Woman sitting on floor in front of an open suitcase. Looking up at an unattractive angle. Hair a mess, no makeup, wearing frumpy sweatshirt and jeans....

 

Why bother??

When I see a picture like this, I think to myself, no woman would allow a picture like this to be displayed at a public place like a Web site. Then I think, the woman does not actually know her picture is at a Web site. Her husband or boyfriend put it there without her knowledge. But you're right in any case. Why would even a scoundrel boyfriend post a picture of this kind.

[justinandtricia 23]

I think my biggest pet peeve has got to be the full nude closeup shot of a girls vagina, stuffed full of toys, half of which are 3 times the size of a normal penis. I mean really if she can get a 20 ounce coke bottle up there that easily, what does that say about what exactly I am going to feel when I throw my hot dog down that hallway. Also a girl on her back doing a sit-up so she can see the guy taking the picture with all her business just hanging out for all to see just is not very flattering, usually the skin wrinkles like a collapsed accordion. Also, if you show everything you have in a picture, what does that leave to the imagination? I mean I would rather see a person in their normal every day clothes, you know the type of clothes that they feel comfortable in in public. It tells me a lot of their personality, and how comfortable they are with their sexuality. Now tastefully done nude pics, like topless while she covers her breasts and crotch with her hands while she strikes a sexy pose are good. A girl squatting over a chair and spreading her labial as far as she can so you can go spelunking through her cavern with your mind is not so good. And guys, c'mon, cocks are fuckin fugly, i should know, I have one. I can tell you a girl is more interested in your abs, chest, arms, and firmness of your ass than she is in your tool. Because that's just what it is, a tool.

 

Now as for pics of having sex with your significant other. If taken tastefully by another person, thumbs up. If taken by the guy as he is hovering over her as she lays on her back and her tits sagging down and outward like the wings on an F-14 tomcat(the navy jet that has retractable wings), thumbs down. But seriously, Me and my woman will never reveal that much in a profile. Our philosophy is, if you like what we show you, then you know what you need to do to see and feel what you want to see and feel.

 

Also, beat up vaginas, that look like a roast beef sandwich make me and her wanna hurl. Not that we are against playing with it, but it's not the first impression we want of a girl that puts a close up of that on her display pic.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

I was entertaining myself this afternoon with approving and disapproving newly-submitted pictures at Swinglifestyle. I approved the picture but I just about had a hernia I was laughing so hard. Some "single" guy submitted a picture of himself posed in front of a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Say, boys and girls. Can you say Pathos?

 

I was a banner day. The very next picture was a single guy who had a tattoo of Pinocchio's head on his abdomen positioned in such a way that his penis made Pinocchio's nose. Clever. But the Swinglifestyle rule is no picture of an erect penis when it will be viewable by the general public. Had to nuke it.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

I was entertaining myself this afternoon with approving and disapproving newly-submitted pictures at Swinglifestyle. I approved the picture but I just about had a hernia I was laughing so hard. Some "single" guy submitted a picture of himself posed in front of a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary.[/i]?

I was another great day for reviewing pictures at SwingLifeStyle. Somebody submitted one, presumably of himself, wearing a tuxedo, surrounded by other guys in tuxedos as well as women in evening dresses and standing (get ready for this) next to an unmistakebly recognizable female politician. Nothing about the content of the picture was contrary to any of the established rules so I approved it as "Type 1".

[bi4me2 93]

I was another great day for reviewing pictures at SwingLifeStyle. Somebody submitted one, presumably of himself, wearing a tuxedo, surrounded by other guys in tuxedos as well as women in evening dresses and standing (get ready for this) next to an unmistakebly recognizable female politician. Nothing about the content of the picture was contrary to any of the established rules so I approved it as "Type 1".

 

Interesting to finally 'meet' someone that approves pics up there, must be interesting as hell.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

bi4me2 said:

. . . must be interesting as hell.

Every time I begin to believe that there are no more surprises, somebody zings me. I am not surprised by the fact that people fail to read the rules or will try to sneak around them -- every other picture shows a dick or a pussy -- but I am surprised that people are ready to show themselves in remarkably awkward, indiscreet and unappealing ways. What I mean by indiscreet, by the way, is not the fact that they show their faces. As an example of indiscreet, I saw one this morning in which a man and a woman are standing in front of a church (apparently their wedding day). Not only is everybody in the wedding party recognizable but so is the church bulletin board; the name of the church, city, pastor, etc. are easily readable.

 

The fact that SLS does not invite people to post explicit pictures in the public areas of their profiles is one of the reasons my wife and I find that Web site worthwhile. I will not try to guess to actual reasons that the rules were established but I do appreciate the benefits. There are far fewer "picture collectors". And besides, neither my wife nor I are looking for a date with a dick or a cunt. My wife and I are looking for dates with people.

[bi4me2 93]

SW_PA_Couple said:

Every time I begin to believe that there are no more surprises, somebody zings me. I am not surprised by the fact that people fail to read the rules or will try to sneak around them -- every other picture shows a dick or a pussy -- but I am surprised that people are ready to show themselves in remarkably awkward, indiscreet and unappealing ways. What I mean by indiscreet, by the way, is not the fact that they show their faces. As an example of indiscreet, I saw one this morning in which a man and a woman are standing in front of a church (apparently their wedding day). Not only is everybody in the wedding party recognizable but so is the church bulletin board; the name of the church, city, pastor, etc. are easily readable.

 

The fact that SLS does not invite people to post explicit pictures in the public areas of their profiles is one of the reasons my wife and I find that Web site worthwhile. I will not try to guess to actual reasons that the rules were established but I do appreciate the benefits. There are far fewer "picture collectors". And besides, neither my wife nor I are looking for a date with a dick or a cunt. My wife and I are looking for dates with people.

 

(him)

 

I can only imagine the 'fun' and some of the stuff that never makes it onto the site.

 

By them not allowing 'hardcore' pics open to the public, and I also mean dicks and pussies, they are saving themselves a lot of problems with the law. The second you allow that you are in jeopardy of someone posting pics they stole, pics of minors and without 'model releases' the site could be closed down in a heartbeat. So they know what they are doing. Now granted people can still post stuff that they stole but by keeping the public stuff R rated they limit the potential danger a lot.

 

As far as 'oh fuck me' shocking pics we have seen them on the other sites, some that make you want to run for the hills and some that you just have to say 'what the hell are they thinking'

 

We know all too well the problems you can run into because we owned a swingers site years ago .... the problems are just mind boggling, hence the 'owned'

 

My only problem with Swing Lifestyle, and about every other swingers site out there is how horribly built they are. That's what I do for a living and oh my god it just makes me crazy how '1999' most of them are.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I'm amazed at how many attempt to upload pictures with kids in the background.

[curiousagain 326]

When I see a picture like this, I think to myself, no woman would allow a picture like this to be displayed at a public place like a Web site. Then I think, the woman does not actually know her picture is at a Web site. Her husband or boyfriend put it there without her knowledge. But you're right in any case. Why would even a scoundrel boyfriend post a picture of this kind.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. It's a giveaway of the real situation.

[PB&J 1,086]

I couldn't agree with you more. It's a giveaway of the real situation.

 

Sadly, in the case of this picture I feel that the woman is actually aware of the picture and the ad. From forum posts made, etc, this couple is just one that doesn't get the idea of how to present themselves effectively. They advertise themselves as "real" and "down-to-earth", but instead come across as frumpy and in no way sexy. Which is too bad- they could be wonderful people and amazing lovers, but you wouldn't know it from the pictures they post!

[MN Tom 251]

This is actually a great thread for newbies to read.

 

Not only for the advice about what not to post, but it also paints a rather nice picture of the mentality of members on this board.

 

It's refreshing to know people are here looking for other people, and not all hung up on "what the parts look like".

 

 

 

Back to topic, I really hate it when people use those ultra low rez webcams for pictures. Or seemingly never even look at their picture before they upload it. And it's always comical when people leave obvious detailed information showing in the picture, like the wedding one described a while ago.

[virgin swinger 45]

We have yet to post a picture of us. Now I'm a little paranoid! What are some suggestions of some great pictures you have seen?

[The Fuse 1,012]

Here's something amusing I've noticed. It seems like some of the pictures of the guy (when there are any) are of him trying to look like a "player", or trying to look cool and tough, like he's trying to be the alpha or something. As a woman I can say this is pretty off-putting. I want to see a masculine man, but one with a genuine smile and a welcoming or at least happy expression. The funny thing is, we've met these couples more than once and it seems the guys with those forbidding expressions in their photos are always big sweeties. I wonder if the poses are some sort of self-defense mechanism or spring from insecurity or the need to wear a mask.

 

Oh, and men, PLEASE do not post pictures of yourselves in baseball caps. They are SO not flattering. SO not sexy. Take the cap off; you'll get more women interested in you. And isn't that the point of the picture?

[The Fuse 1,012]

We have yet to post a picture of us. Now I'm a little paranoid! What are some suggestions of some great pictures you have seen?

 

I would put yourself in the position of a couple shopping for other couples. That shouldn't be difficult, as you presumably are looking at other profiles. What do you like to see? Personally, we like to see pictures of both the man and the woman, looking their best or close to it, looking relaxed, happy, clean and presentable. Alluring poses are nice but not necessary. Nude pictures are not necessary, but baggy clothes aren't cool either. I want to see what kind of body they both have. That means head-to-toe pictures, not necessarily with faces, to start. Casual, formal, sporty, costumes, whatever... just keep in mind that people get their first impressions of you from the pictures, and you're trying to open the door to flirting and more.

[Guest rdy46227]

Try a photo where you have body part(s) touching, are unquestionably having fun, and not 100% focused on each other to the exclusion of the camera/person who will see the photograph.

 

I remember one which showed knees to head, he rolled a bit on his side and she cuddled against him one knee slightly up. Her hand was on his crotch, his knee covered hers, and his arm covering one breast as his hand palmed the other. Technically, no nudity. They were both smiling "come hither" smiles as if the expected someone to settle in between them.

 

Sorry I don't have 1,000 words in lieu of the real image...

[MN Tom 251]

The wife came across a definite "why on earth was this a picture" one this morning.

 

The profile is of a single gal, and the pictures she chooses to put up are all pretty bad. Her main photo though is horrendous. Not only is it a bad angle, but it shows kids clothes strewn all over the couch, kids toys on the floor that she is almost stepping on, and what looks like last night's dinner on a plate on the end table.

 

Just bad all around. All I could think of positively to say was "well at least she appears comfortable in all that".

[bbarnsworth 2,636]

The wife came across a definite "why on earth was this a picture" one this morning.

 

The profile is of a single gal, and the pictures she chooses to put up are all pretty bad. Her main photo though is horrendous. Not only is it a bad angle, but it shows kids clothes strewn all over the couch, kids toys on the floor that she is almost stepping on, and what looks like last night's dinner on a plate on the end table.

 

Just bad all around. All I could think of positively to say was "well at least she appears comfortable in all that".

 

Hey, she saved you the time of wondering if you should contact her, or worse actually contacting her!

[SheerBliss 92]

This thread made me laugh and laugh. I'm amazed at the horrible, unflattering pictures that people put on their profiles. What are they thinking?!

 

The other thing that I don't personally like is when single guys immediately send me cock shots. I think that when you lead with that, it's probably all you have to offer. One guy sent several and I (politely, I think) told him that we probably weren't a good match because he seemed to be looking for something different based on his choice of introductory pictures. I didn't mean to sound judgmental - some people want those pics, I'm just not one of them. He got really mad and said that anyone who would get together with a man before making sure he was well hung isn't someone he wants to know anyway! Then he blocked us so I couldn't even explain/apologize.

 

P.S. He wasn't well hung by any stretch of the imagination.

[exploringRM 305]

 

P.S. He wasn't well hung by any stretch of the imagination.

 

stretch mite be the key....maybe he was a grower not a shower

[Zoe&Wash 93]

Use a pseudonym - Best

Pose outdoors - Good

Pose in front of your rusty pickup truck - Bad

Leave your businesses phone number clearly legible on the side of the truck, with your business name - really really bad.

 

Actually seen in an SLS ad in central Wisconsin today.

[here4thefun69 16]

hotsummers said:

LOL, our favorite is the listing with 6-8 pics of the guy in every pose possible and the ONE shot of the wife getting in or out of the shower or walking down the hall, or some other pics where she OBVIOUSLY had no idea hubby was going to post it on a swingers site! Of course this guy always wants to swing alone because wife doesn't feel good that night! LOL

 

We also like the one's where the people look drunk.... NOT! But we must admit they are entertaining, all of them.

 

Totally agree always makes us wonder if she even knows he took the pic much less that he posted it.... craigslist is full of them ....

[SsHubby 56]

Ok so my wife decided she would like us to pursue some possible avenues via an online ad on SwingLifeStyle. Ok so we are seeking a single male for possible play. What am I missing in the fact that so many pictures are of men naked, men naked with no heads, men wearing speedo type underwear, flexed backs and no clothes? I mean is the art of a simple head shot really that undervalued? Are these revealing shots really more desired than a simple head shot? I also see men giving their erection length and width? Is this must have information? Should I be getting a ruler out? I am not inexperienced sexually and I can say I have never had any complaints on my abilities. But it just seems to me that in my own opinion, a lot of these ads just aren't worth responding to. Maybe I'm wrong. Furthermore, as my wife and I look at these emails and ads, she immediately discards anyone that only sends these types of photos as she wants to see the real person behind them.

[TheSwingerSet 205]

S said:

Ok so my wife decided she would like us to pursue some possible avenues via an online ad on SwingLifeStyle. Ok so we are seeking a single male for possible play. What am I missing in the fact that so many pictures are of men naked' date=' men naked with no heads, men wearing speedo type underwear, flexed backs and no clothes? I mean is the art of a simple head shot really that undervalued? Are these revealing shots really more desired than a simple head shot? I also see men giving their erection length and width? Is this must have information? Should I be getting a ruler out? I am not inexperienced sexually and I can say I have never had any complaints on my abilities. But it just seems to me that in my own opinion, a lot of these ads just aren't worth responding to. Maybe I'm wrong. Furthermore, as my wife and I look at these emails and ads, she immediately discards anyone that only sends these types of photos as she wants to see the real person behind them.

 

Unfortunately this is one of the issues with single males, before I get flamed, I should say most not all. We get hundreds of e-mails every month from the single guys wanting to attend our events. And we do that same if they don't include at least one face or full body shot, then into the trash it goes. I know that there are women out there that are "size queens" and they may be the target audience for these guys. But most couples, like you are looking for a nice guy to have some fun with and size doesn't matter.

[SsHubby 56]

TheSwingerSet said:

Unfortunately this is one of the issues with single males, before I get flamed, I should say most not all. We get hundreds of e-mails every month from the single guys wanting to attend our events. And we do that same if they don't include at least one face or full body shot, then into the trash it goes. I know that there are women out there that are "size queens" and they may be the target audience for these guys. But most couples, like you are looking for a nice guy to have some fun with and size doesn't matter.

 

Well my wife isn't really interested and concerned over size and we have decided to go MFM for getting our feet wet, so to speak. We intend to review expanding our possibilities as our comfort levels grow.

[whatwewant 38]

We can totally relate to some of the problems listed here. Especially single dudes. Take the time to find a nice current picture that doesn't include your cock hanging out and doesn't make you look like a criminal, and you might get a little farther. Or posting pics that look like they were taken 15 years ago next to pics that are current. Not a good idea.

[essexcouple 15]

We made a mistake one of not checking "fun" pics properly and some kind couple pointed out to us that in a photo of my big bum in the air, you could see my kids school photo on the back of our bedroom wall... We took that one down pretty quick. You have to be so careful but really made my day when someone so nice told us. Check pics again and again before posting to make sure you're not giving anything away that you don't want to.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

. . . What am I missing in the fact that so many pictures are of men naked' date=' men naked with no heads, men wearing speedo type underwear, flexed backs and no clothes? . . . [/quote']Many of the beheaded and bespeedoed men are trying to avoid recognition by their wives or significant others.

[Jade1801 15]

I know for us and some may not agree with it. We do have to cover our faces for the public pics cause one we have children, then alot of the family live in the area, as well as possible work conflicts. So we mark out our faces but share other pic privately that don't black out our faces once we get to know a person or couple.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

Why is it that when people post pics with their ads they pick the post awful pictures? I mean, do they not look at them?

I've had a lot of time on my hands recently and some of it has been spent approving and rejecting new public profile pictures at Swing Lifestyle. Here are some casual observations: the number of pictures submitted by single men is about twice the number submitted by couples or single women; there is an ever-increasing number of pictures taken using a cell phone in the mirror of a bathroom; these "mirror" pictures are submitted more and more by "couples". I don't understand. If you are a "couple", you don't need to stand in front of a mirror. Get your SO to hold the friggin' cell phone. And why a bathroom? Are there no mirrors in the rest of the house?

 

There is a new phenomenon: someone takes a picture of a computer's LCD screen. What's that? If the digital picture is inside of the computer, just send the picture file to Swing Lifestyle. Of course there are the usual pictures of pudenda, which I dutifully reject. One of the aspects of Swing Lifestyle that I appreciate is that x-rated pictures are allowed only in the "private" galleries on a profile.

[Chicup 41]

We recently got a mail from a couple who's only picture of the woman was of her looking at her cell phone. Odder it was a "couples" shot so it was taken by someone else apparently at a mall.

[MN Tom 251]

Have to agree on those phone pics. Why does a "couple" need to have solo phone pics posted?

 

I just held the camera out at arms length and snapped a pic of the both of us, easy enough. Yes it's not perfect, but neither are we, so who cares.

 

 

Oh and the picture of the computer screen? My guess is either they altered the pic on the screen, then took a pic of it to further mask that fact, or they are taking a pic of someone else.

Or maybe they are really tech illiterate..

[themariner 27]

What I do not understand why they do not have a profile picture of themself. Come on you are going to have sex with these people post a full picture of yourself.Yes, it should be one nude as clothes hide alot.

[lovinglyshared 15]

hahaha don't show a picture of your penis on a ruler that starts behind your balls and say you're 8 inches.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

I was perving at Swing Lifestyle this afternoon. I encounter a profile having this picture of a woman sitting on a swing on a front porch. A mailbox behind her shows a full, clear and distinguishable street address. If she was more like my type, I'd suggest to the wife we get in the car and take a drive over.

[Calif_Dreamers 15]

One profile we came across on SLS is this couple in CA, where it's actually the guy who is advertising his pics. The first main pic on the screen is of him sitting at a poker table with some dirty old T-shirt on, with that look of "It's 4:00 AM, I'm losing my a** here, and I need a shower." Another pic shows him in his white briefs sporting his wood.

 

Also read one the other day that said, "We don't want no BS!! We want to meet and f**k and be on our way." Guess everyone has their thing.

[Dont.Stop 339]

One I came across the other day. Good looking couple, nice pictures. Taken with a camera that puts the date on the pics.

 

2005. On every picture.

 

Sigh.

[Calif_Dreamers 15]

One I came across the other day. Good looking couple, nice pictures. Taken with a camera that puts the date on the pics.

 

2005. On every picture.

 

Sigh.

 

Saw similar pics the other day too, dated in 2007. Unless they're vampires, they probably look a little different.

[TheBucketList 15]

We have pics of both of us on our Swing Lifestyle - however his are set to private.

Why? Because he has a career that is EXTREMELY conservative, and even the mention of knowing someone who is in this lifestyle will send off HUGE red flags and could jeopardize his career. Sorry - sex isn't worth that kind of risk. The pictures of me that are on there - odds are anyone that knew us would have NO clue that it's me. I make sure that any tattoos, or marks that would identify me are not shown, face is completely out - hair is usually pulled out of the pic so that can't be identified either.

 

It's actually sort of sad that we have to jump these kind of hoops. If we have communicated with someone and there is a personality match up - We are more than willing to share body shots of him (no - not the kind where he's sporting wood) But something that gives a correct current impression of what his body is.

 

We make sure to include accurate descriptions of ourselves in our profile. (if the scale says 250 - it's not worth shaving 10lbs off and posting 240. It is what it is) The last thing either of us wants is to show up for a date and find out that the 30 somethings are really 50 something's that put on or dropped 100lbs in the last 12 months but never bothered to mention it or update their profile or pics.

 

In our minds - it's purely bait and switch.

 

Side note - photos of women - even if you're Vaictoria's Secrets model - the pic of you in your worn out cotton Hanes and no bra laying face first on the bed like you were just knocked unconscious...it's not sexy - (even if the sheets aren't stained) lol

[divenaked 325]

One I came across the other day. Good looking couple, nice pictures. Taken with a camera that puts the date on the pics.

 

2005. On every picture.

 

Sigh.

 

I was reviewing new pics on SLS earlier and a couple has submitted about 20 pics from 2004. She looked hot then, wonder what she looks like now....

[LFM2 1,482]

It might be that the pictures are that old, or they don't know how to set the calendar/time feature on their camera.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

Saw a profile today where one of the pics had the lady standing in what was obviously the hallway outside of the fitting rooms at a store. Wearing just your basic summer dress, nothing special, except the tags were still hanging off of it!!!!

 

Who knew Minnie Pearl was a swinger?

[divenaked 325]

Was once again reviewing pics on SLS, (yeah I'm a perv) and am still amazed at what some women will put in their vagina......

[BiloxiCouple 695]

divenaked said:

Was once again reviewing pics on Swing Lifestyle, (yeah I'm a perv) and am still amazed at what some women will put in their vagina......

 

Sometimes it is me

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

All of you people who take pictures of yourselves in mirrors, what are you trying to tell us? That you are not a vampire? No disrespect intended for the one esteemed member of this bulletinboard whom I know is a Vampire.

[divenaked 325]

Sometimes it is me:D

 

You being put into a vagina? Or putting odd objects in one?

[sweetandspicy 15]

To JNcc:

 

While it may be true that men are more visual, rest assured that women also like to look at the well taken care of bodies of men. And I am sure for both sexes, no matter how beautiful the body, if there's no personality there is no turn on.

 

As for not posting pictures, I can certainly understand. I work in a place (near home)where I meet hundreds of people a day from surrounding areas. A face shot is definitely out. Even a body shot is out of the question. I once had a friend find a shot of my butt in a string bikini someone had taken at a beach club one year and posted. I was mortified (no one has the right to post another's pic without permission) when he asked if this was my butt. I told him no, but it was. I recognized the bathing suit. No harm done there, but I am not taking any chances. Jobs are hard to find these days.

 

Hubby is not yet ready to take the step of placing an ad, but if we ever do we will put a great amount of thought into the composition of any pics we post.

 

Ultimately, though, my mind needs to be turned on and this will happen with words. There are a lot of sexy people out there that do not have the "ideal" body. Words and actions transcend any physical "flaws". Pictures rarely reveal the real being.