What's your opinion on family nudity in the home?

[visaman 15]

I ama nudist, but not a family nudist. I still live with Mother, but have never seen her nude, and she won't go to nudist events with me, but I have being going on my own since I was 21.

 

There is a nudist board for young people, and quite a few have nudist households, and I think it's great, I have seen many families at Wreck Beach, and at nudist events, so it's not that so far out as some people on here would suggest.

[JnCC 24]

I ama nudist, but not a family nudist. I still live with Mother, but have never seen her nude, and she won't go to nudist events with me...

How dissapointing that must be for you!

 

Have you considered breaking her into the nudist lifestyle gradually? Like for example, suggest that she go around the house topless for a day, while you do the same?

 

She surely changed your diapers when you were a child. You might remind her that should it become necessary, you'll happily do the same for her in a few years, and suggest that this might be a good time to get over any lingering issues of modesty that she may have.

[3sumff 31]

Well, I don't want to seem closed minded. Actually, now that I think about it I am really openminded, or wouldn't be in this lifestyle. I have to say on a personal and moral level I don't feel that it is right for parents to be walking around in the nude in front of there kids. Its just like the lifestyle in some ways. You wouldn't openly have sex with another couple or group in front of your kids. I know there is a difference. Believe me...I know, but c'mon these are your kids they aren't adults who have a better understanding of the body and sexuality. They don't need to see Dad getting the occasional stiffy. That is just where I stand of the issue. I sure many of you will disagree with me.

[bertog0 15]

We dont have a problem if our kids seeing us dressing or showering ,or gitting out of bed but we avoide sex and stuff like that ... our kids range in age from 7 mo to 5 years so some one is almost all ways missing a article of clothing lol

[ShellyM 0]

We have a daughter and 2 sons, and we do not allow them to see us in the nude. Not that I have a problem with anyone doing that, because I think the body is a natural and beautiful thing. But especially with my boys, I just don't. I don't think it is appropriate for our family.

[prettylady 221]

My kids are 7 and 8. My son the 8 year old has been watching me more closely lately and for that reason I have started covering up a little. If, however, he comes into the washroom while I am showering, I don't make an issue about it I simply go about getting ready. I sleep in a tank top and panties (white, cotton, bikinis, soooo comfy). I will walk around freely like this and neither seem to mind, we spend most of our at home time in undies, all three of us. My childrens father and I are seperated and custody is still an issue is why inpart I have become more conservative in my nudity. If we were settled I would likely be wearing alot less until my kids showed that they were ready for more modesty.

Your friend,

Prettylady

[eubiotist 15]

Response to JNCC:

 

I'd certainly agree that for a man to deliberately *flaunt* an erection in front of *anyone* at a nudist venue would be reprehensible, and would call for negative sanctions. But the fact of the matter is that males simply *do* get erections sometimes, quite often in completely non-sexual contexts, though in a couple of decades of experience as an "organized" nudist, I never actually saw it happen, and it never happened to me.

 

Coming from my history as a nudist, in which there was quite a bit of "what-if" discussion about erections, but they almost never happened--I simply assumed that the question about erections meant "what if a guy got a spontaneous erection in front of his daughter in a non-sexual situation?"

 

I still think that the best thing to do under those circumstances would be to stay cool, and explain that an erection is something that happens to men, and that it's perfectly natural and normal. If and only if she then asks for more information, I'd simply answer her questions in as cool and factual a manner as possible. I must confess, however, that to me, treating an erection as some sort of metaphysical catastrophe is just another symptom of American anti-sexual cultural psychosis.

[JnCC 24]

...an erection is something that happens to men, and [it's] perfectly natural and normal.

There are a number of "natural" and "normal" physiological responses that civilized people don't share with friends and family. That's why bathrooms have doors, why we cover our faces when we sneeze, and why we don't pick our noses at the dinner table. It's also why, if you are prone to having spontaneous erections in a nudist enviornment or around children, you should carry a towel. We don't care why you're having it, we don't want to see your boner, period.

 

...in a couple of decades of experience as an "organized" nudist, I never actually saw it happen...

That alone should tell you something about how most nudists regard men who flaunt their boners, "accidental" or not.

I still think that the best thing to do under those circumstances would be to stay cool, and explain that an erection is something that happens to men, and that it's perfectly natural and normal. If and only if she then asks for more information, I'd simply answer her questions in as cool and factual a manner as possible.

Really? What if her first questions are "Grandpa, what in the hell would possess you to get an erection around children in the first place, and why is it that every time you do so, are you so resistant to covering it up? Is there something you're not telling us? Do you want everybody to think you're a perv, or are you TRYING to get us kicked out of the nudist camp?

 

...to me, treating an erection as some sort of metaphysical catastrophe is just another symptom of American anti-sexual cultural psychosis.

A society that regards a man who experiences erections around children as an innocent "victim" of some sort of spontaneous arousal syndrome is evidence of a far worse cultural psychosis.

 

An erection is a sign of sexual arousal.

 

Overtly displaying an erection is an invitation to engage in a sexual act.

 

There is NO other reason to display your erection to another person, EVER!

 

I think that enjoyment of any freedom requires it's practitioners to exhibit a certain degree of responsibility and discretion. The freedom to own a firearm, for example, doesn't give one an excuse for firing it indiscriminately. If you want to practice nudism, fine. If you want to practice it around children, I guess it's OK, so long as it's not my kids. But at most nudist camps with which I'm familiar, should you take to strolling the grounds with an erection, "natural" or not, you WILL be banned from the club.

 

This is a very serious issue with most nude resorts and campgrounds right now. NONE of them are going to risk potential scandal or having their camp shut down altogether just so you can share wonderful stories and information about your hard-on with the kids there.

[eubiotist 15]

There are a number of "natural" and "normal" physiological responses that civilized people don't share with friends and family. That's why bathrooms have doors, why we cover our faces when we sneeze, and why we don't pick our noses at the dinner table. It's also why, if you are prone to having spontaneous erections in a nudist enviornment or around children, you should carry a towel. We don't care why you're having it, we don't want to see your boner, period.

 

That alone should tell you something about how most nudists regard men who flaunt their boners, "accidental" or not.Really? What if her first questions are "Grandpa, what in the hell would possess you to get an erection around children in the first place, and why is it that every time you do so, are you so resistant to covering it up? Is there something you're not telling us? Do you want everybody to think you're a perv, or are you TRYING to get us kicked out of the nudist camp?

 

A society that regards a man who experiences erections around children as an innocent "victim" of some sort of spontaneous arousal syndrome is evidence of a far worse cultural psychosis.

 

An erection is a sign of sexual arousal.

 

Overtly displaying an erection is an invitation to engage in a sexual act.

 

There is NO other reason to display your erection to another person, EVER![

I think that enjoyment of any freedom requires it's practitioners to exhibit a certain degree of responsibility and discretion. The freedom to own a firearm, for example, doesn't give one an excuse for firing it indiscriminately. If you want to practice nudism, fine. If you want to practice it around children, I guess it's OK, so long as it's not my kids. But at most nudist camps with which I'm familiar, should you take to strolling the grounds with an erection, "natural" or not, you WILL be banned from the club.

 

This is a very serious issue with most nude resorts and campgrounds right now. NONE of them are going to risk potential scandal or having their camp shut down altogether just so you can share wonderful stories and information about your hard-on with the kids there.

 

I entirely agree with you that *flaunting* an erection is inappropriate behavior at a nudist venue, or indeed almost anywhere else. Also "cavorting" with one. My concern, however, is twofold. First, it simply is the case that many erections are not prompted by sexual arousal. Politeness would dictate that since we Americans are way hung up about sexuality, a man should indeed carry a towel, or practice some other method of concealing his erection, if he's concerned about the possibility of giving offense. I don't like "in-your-faceness", no matter what the context. But second, I view an erection as a normal human occurrence, not the original sin.

 

As for the sharing of other natural and normal physiological processes: customs vary quite a bit about this among human societies, and indeed, if I've understood them correctly, some posters to this very thread seem to be a bit more open about such sharing than you would like. Again I say: practice common courtesy, take account of the sensibilities of the people in your environment. If I were still a practicing nudist, I'd say, "If you don't want to see my boner, I'll do everything I can to keep you from seeing it". But don't confuse your personal preferences, or the hangups of your own culture, with universal human psychological traits, or with universal moral laws.

 

Again, naively, I interpreted the original question as applying to spontaneous, "accidental" erections occurring in the presence of one's daughter at a nudist venue. In that context, the erection in question wouldn't even have to be mine. If instead the question were, "Dad, why is that man's weewee so hard and stiff?" I would, as I said, cooly offer information about what erections are, and suggest that they're perfectly normal and natural, nothing to be concerned about. On the other hand, if the question is, "Dad, why is that man cavorting about, waving his hard stiff weewee in people's faces?" I'd say, "Because he's a blooming idiot. Come with me while I go find the manager."--not very different from what JNCC would do.

 

American society certainly doesn't "regard a man who experiences erections around children as an innocent victim of some sort of spontaneous arousal syndrome". But in actual fact, that *is* sometimes the case. When it is the case, I think that it's a bit weird to get all upset about it. And as you may have gathered from my past postings, I don't regard American society as exhibiting much sanity around sexuality.

 

An erection may or may not be a sign of sexual arousal. That's just a fact. whether or not you want to believe it.

 

Except in an appropriate sexual context, I would never "display" my erection to others. But I might very well *get* an erection, and if so, I believe that I would act with appropriate concern for others' sensibilities. But I also wouldn't feel as if I were the lowest scum of the earth.

 

And as I've written previously, the main reason that I'm no longer an "organized nudist" is that I found that the nudist movement, as I experienced it, was for the most part just as hung up about sexuality as "textile" American society in general.

[bertog0 15]

Seems to me there is alot of nit picking about fine points of an erection...

common curtisey would dicktate (no pun intended...well maybe) that it is rude & not acceptable... so cover it and apolige and explain if neceassry thin get on with living

[fun4two 15]

rob covers up in front of the kids and i normally do also...but if i am in the shower and they need to use the bathroom they are more then welcome to come in and do their buissness...but if my children our in the bathroom we do dont bother them we will wait its a simple part of their privacy...to each their own on this subject everyones comfort level is differant when it comes to nudity in their families..

i do know i have bad habit when i get off work to take my bra off and leave it where ever it came off at at..i cant count the times people have came over and went in the kitchen and there it is on the micro lol..my children even laugh and make jokes about..

[r_poseidon 17]

Well we don't have kids (yet)... but I know that we would not be walking around nude in front of them. I mean, sure, I'm sure we will be walked in on, whether getting dressed or... ya know ;-) , but that would just be an accident.

[clutch 28]

While I grew up not as a nudist, nakedness was common around our house. I remember marvelling at the size of my father's penis.

 

And I took baths with my mother up until I was around 7 or 8. While I usually faced her and played in the water, often even playing with her breasts, I was never allowed to look at her privates. At some point she'd inevitably make me turn around and face the spiggot. In later years, I came to conclude she was masturbating and having me turn around while she orgasmed. (As an adult, I asked a counselor if this would be classified as abuse, and she said, "No. Maybe borderline, but I don't think it affected you.")

 

My brother says that when he was little (before I was born) he went to a YMCA swimming pool where boys and girls swam together nude and thought nothing of it.

 

And I remember having a little out-of-town girlfriend (pre-puberty) (our parents were friends) and we spent an enormous amount of time swimming naked and showing body parts purely out of curiousity.

 

And I remember when I was 14 or 15, I was lying in bed on my side masturbating with a playboy, and my mom popped in the room--cock in hand. She looked down at my cock, looked me in the eye, raised an eyebrow...coulda swore I saw just the slightest grin as she walked out and shut the door.

 

On the other hand, my wife and her sister grew up in an overtly nudist environment. Lots of nudity around the house and family summer camps.... I came into their family after divorcing my first wife, and really enjoyed the "naked" honesty and a much richer sexuality.

 

By the way, my wife's parent's swung (her dad is now deceased), and both the girls were not only fully aware of it, but they were raised that that's an okay option. On the other hand, my parents had lots of extramarital sex, but were very hush-hush, none-of-your-business about it.

 

Personally, I think my wife and sis-in-law came out much healthier about the whole thing.

[TightNJuicy 15]

Hi there, I am new here so I hope I do this right...

I have had bad childhood experiences with nude parents, so I am careful with my children. My mother was perfectly comfortable wandering around the house in all states of undress and I didn't like it.

If my 5 year old twins manage to catch me getting dressed I don't make a big deal out of it, but at the same time I don't go out of my way to expose myself around them.

However if my 12 year old son caught me naked I would be mortified!

[Cpl2share 147]

Mrs. Cpl alsway covers around our boys, but they are used to seeing me nude. I am a bit of a nudist myself. The boys are 12 and 15 so they are used ot seeing everything that I have, and what they don't see at home they will see when in the locker room or at the pool, etc. We firmly believe that you have to be okay with what you are, and the human body is beautiful in all its forms. That said, it is still kind of creepy for the teen boys to see what momma has goin on. They do not even want to know that we have sex at this age, so why push it on them.

[Guest coonhounds]

we are nudist with are sons.

[Guest AngellaGrey]

Hallo everyone, I am glad to be here and I will briefly drop a line. I grew up in Miami, California. I'm 25, and I'm study chemistry I love sunsets over a body of water, art playing my guitar, playing with my pets. Hope to be usefull to all of you guys --------------------------------------- Angella J. Grey

[KentuckianaCPL4 16]

Haven't been to a nudist camp but are comfortable being nude and allowing our children to see us so, as are they.

[FlaPlaya561 48]

This has been a popular thread ...

[SuAndBud 23]

All I know is that I wouldn't like to have seen my parents or siblings naked.

[mbnudist 20]

As a nudist family for many years, we have no problem with anyone, regardless of age or gender, seeing us nude at any time. Kids, parents, friends, it does not matter. Our house was built as a nude friendly environment and we do live this way.

[sigh35 20]

I don't care if my 7 month old daughter sees me cuz she is too young to connect the dots, but after the age of 2 I will be more modest

[sara_b 16]

I see no problems with being nude with family. I have raised my kids on nudism

[FlaPlaya561 48]

I am scarred for life since my mother used to walk around in her bra or topless 44 DD when i was a kid ...

[rachan 53]

I've become comfortable being nude in front of my teenage son. He knows that I have sex with other men and he's heard me having sex with other men in the house.

R

[deanncat 25]

My hubby had to tell me it was time to not walk around in nude with my boy because he was getting to old don't remember his age but he was probably 7, we all live in same household we have seen each other naked by accident, really no big deal i'm the mom, daughter still see me naked sometimes to, I had the breast milk question too, and now she 6 if she seem me naked I only make it a quick walk, but I think thats just because it might bug her but it doesn't really bug me again im mom and she my kid nudity is just part of life that how i look at it

[butchnamy 15]

It was never an issue when the kids were little......and of course as a mother when you go in to take a bath or shower in the middle of the day and you have small children, you have to leave the door open in case they need you. It was only after the kids got older that we started wearing robes or throwing on a quick coverup. Of course our youngest will be gone in a few months, so we will have that freedom to be naked in our own house again.

[lunarlady 15]

I come from a family of mostly women and as a single woman with a toddler, live in a house with sisters and my mom who is also single (I don't swing at home). We are all comfortable with our nude bodies, and mostly go nude while jumping in the pool or getting ready for the day. My mother breastfed four daughters, so we were always used to breasts out in the open. I still breastfeed my two year old, and she knows milk comes from womens' breasts. I was taught never to be ashamed and that nude bodies are natural, although it is really only reserved for practical situations. We are not nudists.

[meetcute1 15]

My husband and I have talked about this often, our son is now 4 and we have never had a problem being naked in front of him. Like an earlier post he will sit on the side of the bathtub and have a conversation with me while i am taking a bath. I was raised in a home where we were very open about sex and being naked my mother never made a big deal of us seeing her naked. My husband grew up in a home that anything haveing to do with nudity or sex was taboo. We agreed that our son would not be raised like that.

[jdavisauto 73]

We feel very comfortable changing clothes, getting out of bed in the morning and yes we both sleep in the nude, getting a shower, etc. We both have boys and girls. My oldest boy is 16 and our oldest girl is 17. We don't go around the house nude like watching TV or eatting supper in the nude. If I am in the shower my daughter will come in to used the restroom that same as any of my kids or wife will do. We openly talk to our kids about sex and sexuality. And they come to us for information concerning sexual feelings and desires, then they correct us on everything we got wrong. LOL. Bottom line is we don't parade around in the nude but don't jump behind doors when walked in on either. We are a family and as a family we all have to be honest and understanding and most of all respectful of each other in all ways.

[SecretAsianMan 348]

My family was always kind of prudish about nudity - while we didn't exactly lock the doors every time we changed our clothes or anything. I *did* get some grief from my family when I started sleeping in the nude... and that those three steps between my bedroom and the bathroom to take a shower needed to be done whilst "covered"

 

I would try my best not to impart this nudity "taboo" upon my children - and would be glad if they grew up without the automatic implication that nude / naked = sex / sexual that seems to be pervasive in most American culture.

[sweet_tna 680]

Our short people are 8 and 6. They've seen both of us naked countless times. While I don't scream and slam the door if they walk in on me in some state of undress, I don't prance around naked, either. Both Mr. Sweet and I sleep naked, though.

 

And our kids seem to be comfortable being naked, too, so I guess we've done our job of not making it such a taboo thing. Although The Girl said the other day, "Don't look at me naked, you might see my boobs!" I am soooo not ready for puberty!

 

=)

[herpob 564]

Not a problem on occasion - if we are seen naked it is no big deal, we don't do it on purpose but we also don't keep doors closed. Our home is naturally vented so closing doors prevents air flow. If I hop out of bed to walk to the bathroom and someone sees me, no problem, t's not like they stand there and stare. We don't run for cover or see who has the fastest cover up hands, we just walk on.

[K&JIntimates 66]

We don't make a big deal out of nudity around here. We have four kids ranging in ages from 7 to 9 months, three of them share our room with us. (working on a section of the house so they are 'in room' until it's done) We don't walk around in the nude but if they see us while we're changing or getting in or out of the shower we don't call any attention to it. We've just taught them that being naked isn't any big deal, it's just a body!

[Mr.Essex 264]

Small children and "mature" adults, I'll have no problem with being nude. Teenagers, though, are out of the question.

[Islamorada 17]

No kids but I do spend ALOT of time naked...I sleep naked and if I am not working sometimes I do not put clothes on till after lunch. If DH and I have sex in the evenings after getting home usually all I put back on is panties. DH usually puts boxer and sometimes a t-shirt on.

 

If we had kids I would be comfortable, I think?

[PB&J 1,086]

With my teenaged boys, the standard line is... "Mommy's going in the hot tub. Stay downstairs unless you want to be scarred for life"... and believe me, they stay downstairs.

[yogee 15]

Sometimes I'll forget and not have my shirt on but I'm quickly reminded when he asks "do you still have milk in your boobies".

 

 

.. very fuunny, reminds me of my kiddy days

[shyguy55 15]

I think its what ever the family is ok with

[VANudistcpl 109]

Being nudist we have no problem with family being naked.

[driveajeepnaked 26]

I have come to be more comfortable with naturalists/nudists than swingers lately... We have both gained some weight over the last few years, and are still very comfortable in the naturalist atmosphere, but a bit more non-confident in the swinger atmosphere than we were before...

 

I know if it "doesn't matter" to others, but it does to us...

 

VnB

[jessicat78 23]

Jess and I have no issues with nudity at home.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Interesting.

 

We have never made any distinction clothed or unclothed at home. Doors get closed only for 'private time'--aka sexual activity. Our daughter grew up this way and is absolutely baffled by the body shame she encounters among her friends.

 

We are careful not to surprise/inflict this on guests, of course.

 

For 15 years, we had a swimming pool out of sight of the neighbors. When adult friends would come over (something more than first time guests/work acquaintances) we would let them know that we (as a family) usually didn't bother with suits but would be happy to don them if it made them more comfortable. Only a handful of times can I remember being asked that we keep suits on. Sometimes it was mixed--suits and not. Fairly frequently they loved the opportunity to skinny dip.

 

Keeping nudity separate from sex would seem rational, yet Americans more than every other developed country insist on maintaining the link. Strikes us as irrational but, as they say, it's a free country.

[NorCalRnS 21]

I was raised in a house where nudity was no big deal. My mom was nude much of my life growing up (I am male, and taught me that the human body was not something to be ashamed of. I never thought much about it. However, I think socoety has changed quite a bit now. When our daughter was young, it didn't bother me if she saw my wife or I nude, she even said we should be a "naked family" once, but as she's gotten older (15 now) I just don't think it's appropriate. Not in my eyes, but those who would judge. If there wasn't the real possibility of it leading to legal action, I would give them the big middle finger, but I'm not about to take that chance. So as naked as I get is my boxers. My wife is a different story, she has been nude around her many times. No worries.

 

R

[SecretAsianMan 348]

Keeping nudity separate from sex would seem rational, yet Americans more than every other developed country insist on maintaining the link. Strikes us as irrational but, as they say, it's a free country.

 

I've ALWAYS thought the link between nudity and sex to be a VERY irrational thing in American society... (and the hang ups which people have about sex in this country defy any sense of logic I've got)

 

I remember when I used to work in the film industry and "European"-versions of films would be constantly censored for their sex & nudity when imported into America. (Alternatively, the levels of violence and gore in American films would be censored when exported to Europe)

 

Personally... I think the Europeans have the better idea in this regard.

[Guest winnme]

we have no problem with been nude around the kids as long as they have been in the world they have seen nudity. my mom did wear clothes around the house and when i meet the wife it was the same so now we all are nudist kids and all we go to the camps and we have a 11yr. old boy and a 13yr. girl and we all are very comfortable with it

[shy_couple 459]

We have 3 girls. He never wants them to see him nude.

 

She doesnt mind it occasionally. But questions have come up about why sometimes there is hair on her pee-pee and sometimes not.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Funny, this has been a recent topic around the house. Mostly because I have been wondering about how we raise our kids. We don't want them to freak out about the concept of nudity or sex. That said we usually cover up, but have wondered what difference it would make if we didn't.

 

My 8 yo son already thinks girls are gross, typical for his age, and freaks out when we even kiss. lol His younger sister is right the opposite and loves to see us kiss, to the point, I must admit, I am disturbed a bit.

 

Frankly, its a bit confusing, we don't want them to be prudes, but we want make sure they understand the ramifications of being promiscuous. It is a fine line we are still trying to figure out how to walk.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Decisions about this sort of thing are the hardest for so many parents, mostly because we want better for our children than we had ourselves. We wanted the behaviors to be simple and also ones that we wanted offspring to emulate. Here's what we did:

 

1. At home, clothes were optional and doors were (generally) open. Closed doors were always respected, and knocking required.

 

2. At home displays of affection (non-erotic) are always appropriate--both words (I love you) and acts (hugs and kisses).

 

3. Drugs are and remain an absolute _never_.

 

4. Alcohol with permission and always in moderation (kids have a tiny 1 oz. glass of wine when the adults open a bottle with dinner).

 

5. When the time is appropriate, sex under our roof (where your offspring are in complete control of the situation).

 

We stuck by these rules, and they served everyone very well.

 

As an aside, we are the only parents among offsprings' circles of friends who remain married and very much in love after three decades. Apparently casual nudity, displays of affection and open, age-appropriate conversation about sex are not the cause of failed relationships; in fact they might be the vaccine against such failure.

 

Now, a few comments:

 

1. ALL 8 year old boys will be grossed out by mom and dad kissing. This age is about getting dirty, catching frogs, comic books, avoiding girls etc. Enjoy his innocence, it will not last.

 

2. Girls at all ages are looking at mom as a role model. She is taking more notes than you can possibly imagine. It is absolutely okay for daughter to see a passionate kiss and even a stolen grope. It is absolutely okay for her to hear a satisfied 'Mmmmm' after that kiss. You are Prince Charming and your wife is the Princess. Rest assured that your daughter will want to play-act those roles...and that boys of comparable age will run screaming in the other direction. Expect to find Ken and Barbie dolls hugging and kissing. This has nothing to do with promiscuity. Enjoy it while you can. When the hormones kick in, daughter and mom will become locked in mortal combat (from daughter's perspective) for your affections. This is normal biology.

 

If you and your spouse have not found the book It's perfectly normal

Amazon.com: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) (0732483004335): Robie H. Harris, Michael Emberley: Books

it's worth picking up and sharing with your kids at the appropriate time in their lives.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Decisions about this sort of thing are the hardest for so many parents, mostly because we want better for our children than we had ourselves. We wanted the behaviors to be simple and also ones that we wanted offspring to emulate. Here's what we did:

 

1. At home, clothes were optional and doors were (generally) open. Closed doors were always respected, and knocking required.

 

2. At home displays of affection (non-erotic) are always appropriate--both words (I love you) and acts (hugs and kisses).

 

3. Drugs are and remain an absolute _never_.

 

4. Alcohol with permission and always in moderation (kids have a tiny 1 oz. glass of wine when the adults open a bottle with dinner).

 

5. When the time is appropriate, sex under our roof (where your offspring are in complete control of the situation).

 

We stuck by these rules, and they served everyone very well.

 

As an aside, we are the only parents among offsprings' circles of friends who remain married and very much in love after three decades. Apparently casual nudity, displays of affection and open, age-appropriate conversation about sex are not the cause of failed relationships; in fact they might be the vaccine against such failure.

 

Now, a few comments:

 

1. ALL 8 year old boys will be grossed out by mom and dad kissing. This age is about getting dirty, catching frogs, comic books, avoiding girls etc. Enjoy his innocence, it will not last.

 

2. Girls at all ages are looking at mom as a role model. She is taking more notes than you can possibly imagine. It is absolutely okay for daughter to see a passionate kiss and even a stolen grope. It is absolutely okay for her to hear a satisfied 'Mmmmm' after that kiss. You are Prince Charming and your wife is the Princess. Rest assured that your daughter will want to play-act those roles...and that boys of comparable age will run screaming in the other direction. Expect to find Ken and Barbie dolls hugging and kissing. This has nothing to do with promiscuity. Enjoy it while you can. When the hormones kick in, daughter and mom will become locked in mortal combat (from daughter's perspective) for your affections. This is normal biology.

 

If you and your spouse have not found the book It's perfectly normal

Amazon.com: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) (0732483004335): Robie H. Harris, Michael Emberley: Books

it's worth picking up and sharing with your kids at the appropriate time in their lives.

 

Great advice!!

#1 is what we are struggling with. We actually had a breif discussion about it in bed last night. Still rying to figure out how to get that across in a safe healthy manner.

 

2 & 3 are how we already function.

 

4 &5 are how I was raised (the Mrs was absolutely not raised that way) and how we plan on being in the future, when they are older.

 

You nailed our children. We kid with my son often and tell him that will change. He is very intelligent, the class comedian and a little bit athletic and often the subject of pursuit by the girls around his age. One of his teachers told us the girls thinks he looks like a Jonas brother, apparently a big compliment. lol.

 

I guess I am the protective dad with my little girl, so it still unnerves me a bit about my little girls affinity for physical affection. My wife laughs at me often for it. And tell me just wait, these are the easy times. Oh joy.

 

I will certainly look up that book as we continue to figure out this process. Thanks a million.