He's a bad kisser and it killed my attraction

[Candy&Cane 16]

Hello to all!

 

So.. a couple of months ago I wrote that we met this 'perfect' couple.. and we've been going further, well we've been hugging and kissing and fondling untill now..

Kissing was a big deal for me, was even thinking of putting it in the 'rule-list' as I thought I couldn't handle it.. but actually it happened that I told O to go ahead and kiss her as she's such a good kisser And it was a great sight to see!! facelick

 

Anyway.. I kissed her husband too.. I was quite attracted to him.. untill this kiss...

He was a tongue mixer... and it was a total turn-off for me...

 

We havent seen them since (they were on holiday) but are going to meet up again next weekend probably..

 

But now I'm hesitating... how much should one 'hang on' to a single kiss? Could attraction come back again further along the road, or is this an important point to say 'stop'?

 

I know this couple have an 'open-marriage' too.. I think I wouldn't mind if O. continues to see her (and I myself have a girlfriend too so It'll feel 'even' in some way), if they wouldn't mind... still.. I think I want to give it another chance (but now I'm scared I might force myself or something)..

 

Bad Kissers.... what are your experiences??

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Kissing is a big deal to me. A bad kisser is a major turn off.

 

If you don't want to play with him, and your husband still wants to play with her AND they are cool with that then go for it.

 

Another option would be to put your "no kissing" rule back into affect and see if you can still be interested in him without that being an issue.

[Spoomonkey 421]

What's a tongue mixer?

 

Spoomonkey

[leftcoastcouple 32]

What's a tongue mixer?

Thanks for asking, Spoo. I was afraid to sound naive by asking.

[wkyadventurers 15]

I shall estimate that it probably doesn't sound very macho of a man to relate that kissing is my favorite part of intimacy. I have long been blessed by women in my life that I enjoyed kissing. At the onset, the kiss is what I look forward to and linger upon. Even my adolescenet wet dreams were usually filled with my lust for lips. When relationships end, it is usually kissing that I miss the most.

 

I have been seeing my SO for over two years now. There are many reason why she and I have decided not to marry, atleast not right away. One of the biggest for me is her inability to kiss with any degree of passion. The fact that my cock doesn't stiffen by the carress of her lips or cause my breath to quicken tells me right away that friends on a bonus plan is all we will ever really be.

 

She opens her mouth and attaches to me like a baby bird trying to feed from my own mouth. Huge turn off!!

 

However, 98%of the time, she is perfect. Am I wrong for denying us both a long term commitment and life togetehr simply because she isn't th ebest kisser I have ever had?

 

I think not. Why settle? I want it the best of both worlds. Who knows, maybe if I bite the bullet and confess to her my issues with her kissing, she will somehow miraculously get better.

[DBL D 120]

I don't really like the "Frantic Tongue Syndrome" either. I like it languid and espressive and I like her to suck on it. I'll do it to.

 

Ladies? How do you like your kisses and/or is their a way swingers are supposed to kiss? "I gave him the best 'Swingers Kiss' last night!" LOL

 

Just wondered if this just comes down to the personal taste or if there is a certain way the ladies like it.

 

Male D

[BradAndJanet 70]

I remember this girl from high school that was like a Hoover. She'd grab ahold of your tongue and try to suck it out of your mouth. She actually hurt me once. Unfortunately, I never got to put that suction power to good use elsewhere... Remember the story about how I met J? She was the girl at the table that I didn't want to talk to...I think I was afraid she'd latch onto my mouth again....

 

2Gether, could you try skipping the kissing and get right to other things, or is it necessary foreplay?

 

-B

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Mr LM said I was a horrid kisser when he first kissed me. He didn't tell me this until years after we were married. I don't doubt his word. I was like a fish. He had to teach me how to kiss. He feels it was worth it. He now tells me I am a fabulous kisser.

 

I love kissing. It is the most sensual, sexually stimulating act you can do to me. Your lips, on my lips, will get you anywhere else on my body.

 

I like kissing to be tender and soft to begin with. I like my lips pulled gently now and then. I like a tongue used without excess. I like little kisses. Then long kisses that move all over my mouth, with your tongue circling my lips softly. But I do not like slop. I like my face kissed.

 

I have licked someone's face with my tongue and the person loved it and so did I. When done right, that can be very nice.

 

I like having my neck kissed, especially the back of my neck. My first playmate did that to me and he was amazing, to this day I don't know quite how he did it. I was taken away by him.

 

A good kisser is sensitive to what the other person likes. I have never understood sloppy wet kissing, or a tongue down your throat, or sucking your tongue out of your mouth. That is bad kissing to me. And worst of all, is what I used to do; I held my mouth tense and moved it open and closed like a fish!

 

You have to be relaxed to kiss well.

 

If I came across a bad kisser I would pull away softly and we would find other fun things to do.

 

LM

[Candy&Cane 16]

Thanx dears

 

okey so the best choices are;

-letting the two of them (O and 'A'), and say 'goodbye' to the husband, and having my own fun seperatly...

-go on the way we were going, but with the kissing rule (thanx Julie)

-go on faster and simply skip kissing (for my part) (thanx Brad and Janet)

 

-note that I see a difference between the two last possibilities-

 

Problem with the two last options is; I'm not sure wether I find him attractive enough now to 'go on' to having sex (with or without the kissing; the kissing has been a turn-off alltogether; never known that this could happen so suddenly)... Maybe I'm jumping the gun here.. well actually thats a question from me to you; Am I?

I just dont feel any lust anymore towards him.... but remember I havent seen them for some weeks now...

 

Oh god... it would really be a shame though.. cause the rest 'clicks' so well.. (and yes I know; I'm not going to let myself get into the situation were I feel guilty and play along; that'll only make things worse)

One thing I'm sure of; if I go out of this 'relationship' I'm not going to put any pressure on my boyfriend (O) whatsoever.. I trust her, I trust him, and the feeling I have when they're together is all good..

 

PS; tongue mixer; I mean his tongue was stiff and franticly went round and round far to fast (which is weird; she is a very good kisser to my taste.. how do the two of them do it? maybe I should pay more attention to that next time )

Secondly @wkyadventurers; your name sounds as though you guys are a couple here on this forum, so I assume she knows about these thoughts?

From experience I know that you could (and should) teach eichother your ways and preferences.. not by saying; "oh God you're crap" but gently, letting eichother know physically and verbally ("oh yes I like that do that again but gentler" etc). My boyfriend and I certainly took the time and always pay attention to eichothers moans and groans forinstance, to hear what feels good and what not. And with kissing there are ways too (ask to relax, and let her be 'led' by your tongue) -I'm going to try this I think, in my situation, but not going as far as I would in a 'serious' relationship....

If I were you I'd post a topic about your problems, as this is a different kind of situation..

 

Thanx to all for now!!

J. (f part )

 

LM I didn't see your post It's asif I've written it myself... We didn't start off very well either at first, but after some months it only got better and better!!! Hmmm kissing my neck (area below the ear) is a VERY erogenous zone for me! facelick

[mrs good times 73]

My first experience since being married was with one of our friends. I've known him for many years and always found him attractive. The problem was he kissed like a lizard. He pushes me up against a wall and pins my hands (I'm getting into this) then he kisses me. It was awful and I couldn't get away so I bit him. He pulled back and looked at me funny so I told him he has got to slow down this is not a race it's supposed to sensual. He tried but never really got it, unfortunately.

 

To clarify, lizard style is kinda like fish style while darting your tongue between your lips.

[Spoomonkey 421]

I was like a fish. He had to teach me how to kiss.

 

That's funny - most of the fish I've known kiss just fine...

 

Maybe Mr. LM has been out teaching schools at a time

 

I think there is different kind of kissing with my wife or with a playmate. I am not overly aggressive with a playmate as I can - in a lustful moment - be with Mrs Spoo. I am glad to know - according to definition - that I am not a "tongue mixer"!

 

Spoomonkey

[biblonde 22]

Kissing is real important to both of us. My hubby is a great kisser! He can bring me to my knees when he gives me the long, slow, deep kisses..mmmmmm and I dont mean deep as in seeing if i still have my tonsils..lol.. I like kisses that are sensual and not sloppy!! I also love it when they kiss down my neck... If a guy was a bad kisser that would be such a turn off!! since I like to kiss throughout sex. I have meet one that was horrible at it..i felt like I was with a puppy! So I make sure when we have playdates (yup we still see them since he does everything else good!) I make sure there isnt much kissing going on..I keep my mouth occupied other ways! lol It is all a matter if you want to continue and find other ways to be entertained than kissing.

 

just my 2 cents

[biblonde 22]

That's funny - most of the fish I've known kiss just fine...

 

OHHH Spoo...leave it to a monkey to kiss a fish!!

[DBL D 120]

It's not that much of a stretch...since he already drinks like a fish!

 

Sorry Spoo, I couldn't resist. I learned how too.

 

Male D

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I don't know if a bad kisser would be a deal breaker for the lady, but she does "believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days". We play with one couple that gets top billing because both of them are really good kissers. Actually, bad kissing probably would be a deal breaker for her, as she was turned on by one guy at our club during the halloween social, until he kissed her on the dance floor. She says kissing is an art, and I guess he was still "painting by numbers".

[BradAndJanet 70]

... I just dont feel any lust anymore towards him....

You know, that says a lot to me. There's got to be some sexual attraction or I'm not sure it's going to work out very well.

 

It's tough when one half of the foursome 'feels it' but the other half doesn't. We've had that happen too. Letting him play with her alone is very magnanimous, but that takes a lot of trust.

 

-B

[Vespertine 31]

I love to kiss and be kissed.

 

I love the feeling I get when I lean in towards someone for a first kiss. The anticipation I feel wondering what their lips will feel like on mine is enough to drive me wild.

 

If I find they're a bad kisser, my desire fizzles quickly no matter how attracted to them I initially was.

[energizerbunny 24]

Bad Kissers.... what are your experiences??

 

 

I have worried about this...because my SO is not a good kisser. I hate to say it, but he really isn't. In fact, it was almost a deal breaker when we were first seeing each other years ago - I LOVE a good make-out session, and always thought great kissers made great lovers.

 

Fortunately for me, SO more than makes up for his bad kissing with his other techniques! But honestly, I wonder if that will ever be a problem for the other couples if and when we decided to jump into the pool. (And honestly, I worry that his bad kissing has rubbed off on me, since it's now been years since I've smooched anyone else!)

[Candy&Cane 16]

Thankyou thankyou for the replies!!! Nice to read people are thinking with me!

 

to E Bunny I just want to say, for now; no it wont rub off both of us kiss in a different way with others.. and as I said, the woman (of the couple) is a fantastic kisser, and her husband (they've been married for 8 years now) is a veryvery bad one.. I dont get that, but let that be a relief for you to know )

[energizerbunny 24]

to E Bunny I just want to say, for now; no it wont rub off both of us kiss in a different way with others.. and as I said, the woman (of the couple) is a fantastic kisser, and her husband (they've been married for 8 years now) is a veryvery bad one.. I dont get that, but let that be a relief for you to know )

 

 

WHEW!

[Candy&Cane 16]

lol!

 

back on topic; in the meantime I'm thinking now; how on earth an I going to explain that I suddenly don't feel lust for this man without hurting feelings? (still I'm going to wait and see how I feel when I see him again.. but I want to have a back-up plan in mind in case... -offcourse I'm not going to say; "I'm sorry, after your kiss I suddenly got off you"...) hmmmmmm

[EternallySingle 32]

A bad kisser is a good kisser to the one who loves him.

 

A good kisser is just a good kisser to the average woman.

 

If you don't feel anything toward the guy, not being a good kisser will turn you off to him, so don't feel too bad. Swinging is supposed to be fun, meaning your swing partners have to have more...skills...than your husband for you to feel attraction for him.

[Candy&Cane 16]

Clear and good; right to the point ES! Thank you!

[DBL D 120]

Maybe this is why some couples don't kiss their playmates.

 

Male D

[Aphrodite 15]

I think it would depend on the rest of the guy to be honest.I looooove kissing,but it's not an absolute if it's just someone I'd be playing with.If the guy has a really nice body and all of that...I just wouldn't kiss him anymore.

However, no matter how attractive the guy is,bad breathe would definitely be a deal breaker for me. The most important kissing that is mandatory and awesome, is the kissing between me and hubby.

[DBL D 120]

Mandatory Kissing?

 

Sounds like a new Extreme Sport to me.

 

What about the compulsories?

 

Male D

[EvilMJ 65]

I have experiance something simliar to this.

 

I remember the first kiss i had with a partner other than hubby. I was hot!! Really, my toes nearly curled it was so good.

Then somewhere in the middle of some really good fun he does this thing with his tounge where he is almost licking my mouth....at which point I am thinking...EWWWW!! and sort of turn away.

 

Any time he tries to do this I find someway to move out of range without insulting him, because otherwise everything else is just great..thank goodness he doesn't do it a lot.

 

I agree with Vespertine...there is nothing more erotic than a good kisser....if a man knows what he is doing in that deparment he can make me melt.

[Aphrodite 15]

By mandatory, I mean essential...as in...the man I am married to has got to be a great kisser.

[luvingcple 15]

My hubby is a wonderful kisser. Our first MFM the guy just sort of brushed his lips against mine, not a real kiss. But that was OK with me. DOn't think I was quite ready to share tongues with him, his breath wasn't what you would consider bad, just not the freshest. We enjoyed other things.

[Alura 2,775]

It seems we should also talk about "taking one for the team," in this thread. Both Mrs. Alura and I have done that in the past, allowing the other to have a great time while we had a mediocre time. There's no such thing as "Bad" sex, as long as no force is involved. Nicht wahr?

 

Mrs. Alura was more creative than I. When she "took one for the team" with a bad kisser, she simply taught him how to be a good kisser. His wife was also not a good kisser at first, but she was a quick study.

 

If we can do something for a friend that will make them more successful and it costs us nothing, why not make the effort?

 

Mr. Alura

[Candy&Cane 16]

I think it would depend on the rest of the guy to be honest.I looooove kissing,but it's not an absolute if it's just someone I'd be playing with.If the guy has a really nice body and all of that...I just wouldn't kiss him anymore.

 

It appears it works the other way round for me. For me its not an absolute thing if its someone I love. Sparks didn't fly the first times Cane and I kissed.. we actually had that conversation the same night. We always got compliments from others, but between us, it obviously didn't work. But over a few weeks (or months) we definitly got the hang of it together!! facelick

If it's someone I'm playing with, kissing does appear to be an absolute thing, well now it is.. It's nearly all about lust, and kissing is an important stimulus..

 

And here I can hook into what Alura says; because it's a playmate, I dont feel it's my place to 'teach how I would like to be kissed' -as I did with Cane and vice versa lol- (maybe also because this couple is older, and we're still kinda newbies ).

 

Really appreciating the feedback here! kissies to y'all

[DBL D 120]

I kind of agree Candy&Cane,

 

At the same time, wouldn't you like to know that the partner knows what you like and how you really like it? If kissing is that important then I wouldn't think a comparison on technique would be inappropriate. In fact I am gonna put that on my list of things to do with my next partner (if needed)

 

And every once in a while I like to totally explore my partners mouth. I totally explore her vagina with my tongue so why not the mouth?

 

Male D