Swinging while drinking???

[Exploring 15]

Ok here's the concern.We (wife and I) recently played around with another couple.Touching and feeling and wives performing oral.The problem is we all had a few drinks and the both wives had more than their share.A few days later my wife ask the other female what the two of them thought about what happened and if we might get together again.The other couple had a great time but the other female said that she may have to be drinking again in order to do it.My concern is if this is the ony way she can do this is this going to create some future problems with her and maybe some regrets.Don't want that to happen would rather just say we had a great time and leave it at that.......

Anyone ever had this situation come up???

Comments please!!!!

[Dave_kat 227]

I have a question about this situation that you're not too clear on, and might make a bit of difference here.

 

1. Is this other couple interested in swinging, or was this just a night of adults getting together and drinking and things got a bit horny? If they had not previously discussed swinging, what happened at the party might have opened the doors to something that they as a couple were not ready to deal with. The desire for alcohol might just be a way of saying that she want's an excuse for her actions if things happen again.

 

We had an experience when we were younger, where kat got incredibly drunk and ended up getting us in a threesome with a friend of ours. For a long time (especially since this involved a lot of girl-girl play and kat was intent upon only being straight) she claimed she would have to be incredibly drunk to do so again. After talking with her and giving her time, it's become a totally different story. Now due to medicines she takes, alcohol is no longer an excuse, but she does have a girlfriend.

 

My advice, give this one some time, let them sort out their own feelings. Don't push for it to happen again, just keep things cool and see if they initiate something without or with less alcohol.

[Exploring 15]

Thanks fir the reply....they have showed interest in swinging and both of them would like to get together with us again.The other female says that the next few times that she would have to be *feeling* good in order to get comfortable enough.Her and my wife have talked about it and I think we all agree that we want to continue but I don't her getting up the next morning with regrets.

Hope I have explained it well enough!!!

[Dave_kat 227]

In my humble opinion, of they have already discussed things, and she requires a bit of alcohol to loosen up, I would think that as long as she doesn't get rip-roaring tossed and would just like a few drinks in a social setting (instead of coming over and ripping her clothes off), I wouldn't be too terribly concerned.

 

Now if it takes her getting drunk to the point of not being able to stand up, slurred speech, the whole 9 yards, I certainly would not continue.

 

My view on the difference is that some do like to have a drink or two while in a social setting, it keeps conversation flowing, it relaxes you a bit. Remember that it's like a date. Have a good time, be a gentleman, enjoy adult conversation without the spectre of sexual things, and I would hope that her reliance on the alcohol for the relaxation when "on a date" would get to the point that it's not necessary nor desired.

 

On a side note, I personally perform a bit better after a couple of drinks. (We know a few like that, know their magic number where a certain number of drinks = great performance without a loss of self control, so the whole thing may be different when viewed like that.

[HeAndDblD 17]

Our rule has always been to not do anything while drinking that we wouldn't do sober, however, your situation sounds like the activitiy and playmates have already been determined and some of the players just need to relax a bit.

[Exploring 15]

Thanks guys.......we will see what happens the next time we are together and I will let you all know the outcome. Hopefully something good worth writing about!!

[NotsoNew 17]

I agree with Dave Cat. A few social drinks are okay.

 

I would be concerned if other couple (she) had to get rip roaring drunk before participating every time. May be not really interested but doing it for him.

[Dr Jekyll 15]

Yep, a very big Dito to everything said above...

 

If they're basically happy with swinging but need to relax a little. 2/3 drinks won't kill anyone or make them do something they would'nt have when sober...

[confunktion 20]

A big ditto here, too. It sounds basically like an "I need to relax first" thing. The rules are set and interest is there, so have fun!

 

Mr. Funk

Suddenly In The Mood For A Scotch...

[Guest smileytattoo]

hubby and I feel really out of place most often than not because we dont drink at all. It just seems that everyone we meet has to have SEVERAL drinks first.

[HotMoCpl 20]

Girl's can too! Quite frankly what's wrong with getting drunk enjoying sex? Years ago...when I was less then half my age....that was the rule and sometimes is today too. Get drunk....get laid.

 

Would I have done the same things sober? Maybe.

 

If it feels good...DO IT!

[EvilMJ 65]

The first time we participated in swinging there was alcholol involved..however I don't drink very much (or very well) so now it rarley is a factor. I guess because we have become comfortable in our activities and no longer have any moral issues to wrestle with, we do not feel the need to have a few to relax us or free inhibitions.

 

There is nothing wrong with a couple of drinks....however I think if you are to the point of feeling good or you judgement is imparied, then it is a bit more of a concern...it leaves you open to doing things that you would never normally do and may regret in the morning.

 

You need to find the line that works for you. If you need a drink to loosen up and get to know people, then have at it...if you need four or five or more...then there might be something to worry about and you may have to determine if you are really ready to deal with swinging at all.

[ready2play 24]

I know if I drink too much I don't have as much fun. I like to have a little to loosen up and get comfortable. Kinda unwind.j (she)

 

j (she)

d (him)

[MrSnozzberryBlu 15]

My wife is always a little nervous when being with a new couple. For her she needs to have a few drinks in order to relax and get comfortable. By no means does that mean that she has to get sloshed, but just enough to take the nervousness off can be a great thing.

 

At least for women this works well, with men if too much alcohol is involved then performance issues can complicate things. LOL

[adventureUS2 25]

men if too much alcohol is involved then performance issues can complicate things. LOL

 

 

Ditto MrSnozzberryblu too much booze and my penis I can not use

[good times 991]

Ditto MrSnozzberryblu too much booze and my penis I can not use

 

Words to live by, for me at least.

[Atilla 16]

I like to have a couple of drinks under my belt, it just helps to relax me and lower my inhibitions. However, being totally and completely drunk is not necessary. At this point, I don't think I could play without a couple of drinks. I'm relatively new to playing and my nerves always get the best of me.

[funtoplay 15]

If I needed to have a couple of drinks in order to swing, I would be seriously re-examining what I thought I was getting out of the Lifestyle. If I were ever to feel that uneasy around someone...or nervous...I wouldn't "play" with them...it's as simple as that.

 

I have no problem with relaxing and having a couple of drinks, but if it took that to make me "loose" (please pardon the expression) enough to do anything, I would have to conclude that swinging wasn't for me.

[GeminiDiver 15]

The Wife and I have started very selective swinging in the last 2 years. We've had many good, deep conversations about our thoughts and feelings about swinging, comfort level, and our rules. She has recently started exploring bisexual contact during our MFMF meetings.

 

She maintains that she needs a drink to get the evening started. She just feels too uptight and needs a drink to remove that last little bit of inhibition. It's not that she needs to be drunk, and we won't play with slosh drunks, but that little drink just takes the edge off so she can get started.

 

As always, control of the alcohol is imperitive. Too much can cause problems.

[wisxxxfun 15]

All drinking does is loosen you up a bit, we are not talking about getting trashed and not remembering. My opinion is that most people don't do things they don't want to after a few drinks, I believe it lets them do things they want to do, but may be nervous, and the drinks remove that nervous feeling

[dutch51 15]

All drinking does is loosen you up a bit, we are not talking about getting trashed and not remembering. My opinion is that most people don't do things they don't want to after a few drinks, I believe it lets them do things they want to do, but may be nervous, and the drinks remove that nervous feeling

 

 

We totally agree with you, and we've said the same thing on many occasions. We like to have a few drinks when we're out, and see nothing wrong with other couples doing the same thing. It does relax inhibitions, but of course you don't want to cross the line into inebriation.

 

If the woman in the OP likes a couple drinks to relax, fine, but if she needs the alcohol to even consider doing anything at all, that may be a sign she's not ready to swing yet. Alcohol can allow you to do the act without being too nervous, but it shouldn't take alcohol to allow you the *thought* of swinging in the first place.