How many have used a escort service for swinging?

[WeNeedA3Some 15]

It seems to be really difficult to find a single female to have sex with my fiance while I watch. I am considering turning to escort services. Has anyone ever done this? If so, would they recommend it?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Keep in mind that while this option exists, it is not legal and you may be looking at other problems as well.

 

Also consider that in using an escort you really don't get any sort of personal interaction with this person, no friendship factor, no connection (which may or may not be what you are looking for), you just get the escort that they send.

[Balerics 15]

Your chances of finding a bi single female is not quite zero. You'll have much better luck looking for a couple with a bi wife and a husband who, like you, is content to sit and watch.

 

Balerics

[youngswingers 15]

You guys might want to consider going to one of the many fabulous off-premises clubs located in Texas. Many of them are reviewed on this very site. We are bery confident you will find many great women there who will be more than willing to supply your better half with the attention she desires. From there it is up to you!

[hotclubcpl4u 15]

We belong to an off premise club that caters to couples and single females. It seems that the majority of the women at our club (probably 85%) are bi or at least bi-curious. I'm sure there are many of these husbands or partners that would be more than willing to watch, as long as you don't mind the fact that another man will also be watching your wife.... Seems like a fairly simple solution depending on how you (and she) feel about this sort of arrangement.

Good luck in your search!!!

[Quin 17]

Being a single bi-female this post just screams at me. Why are you *looking*, why isn't your girlfriend looking? I mean she is the one that will be involved in the sex afterall...which just begs the question is this something that she wants to do or is it something you would like for her to do and being the dutiful girlfriend, she's obliging to keep her man happy?

 

And why the urgency that YOU would resort to paying an agency, when given time and if your girlfriend really wanted to do this, a woman (whether single or married) could be found?

 

Quin

[ciscosv 26]

Speaking for myself, (male in this relationship) we would never resort to an escort service to fulfill our fantasies. Part of that is because:

 

A) I consider it a waste of hard earned money.

B) I absolutely love REAL women/men/couples! (No barbie types for me)

C) I would like for us ALL to enjoy the expirience.(Escorts, like strippers, just want your dough)

D) Would you pay someone hourly to perform their job?

 

It has been decided that we would prefer to swing with couples and if the single female came about, it is purely her decision. We have yet to find a couple that has the same interests and sexual fantasies as us. My thought would be to try the on-premise clubs and get to know some of the people there. You both might get invited to an on-premise where there is alot of bi action. My sweetie got a mouthful of some tasty ladies at one of these events.

 

Clubs are alot cheaper than escorts I think? All we can do is be patient. I HATE BEING PATIENT!

 

Oh well.........

[Brit_Pair 62]

As to whether MFF is one of the entry points into swinging ... well, it is for some couples; but there are those who've started with MFM, and those who've started with MFMF. It all depends on your individual desires, and the opportunities available at the time.

 

Though it's not something we've done, I'm certainly aware of couples who've visited Amsterdam and either arranged to be visited at their hotel by a bi-female escort, or who've visited one of the window girls whose rooms line the canals in the red light district. Would we ever consider it? Who knows? The idea doesn't repulse.

[Spoomonkey 421]

It is certainly possible. Some escorts do entertain couples...

 

It's not swinging - and in most places, it is illegal...

 

For that reason, I wouldn't recommend it. The MFF is tough to find, but not impossible. It takes a little more time and boldness, I suppose. But, if you are dying for a threesome, aren't terribly concerned about the risks and have some money burning a hole in your pocket - it is a lot easier to go that route, I suppose.

 

Spoomonkey

[good times 991]

Well, where I live it can be done legally, but it really wouldn't interest me. For me, half the fun is knowing the person you are with is as excited about playing with you as you are with them. Even way back when I was single and hornier than a three balled rabbit, I never took the ten minute drive to the whorehouse to buy some sex because it just isn't the same for me.

[taomaster 15]

I'm certainly aware of couples who've visited Amsterdam and either arranged to be visited at their hotel by a bi-female escort, or who've visited one of the window girls whose rooms line the canals in the red light district.

 

Mrs. T had great fun last week in Amsterdam chatting with the 'ladies'. Most aren't interested in women but have no problems with a 'spectator'. A few were shocked (or pretended to be)

 

I'd don't think we'd be into paying however since we have so much fun at the clubs for a fraction of the price...

[fun_pairTX 26]

An escort would ruin it for both of us, where is the excitement of the chase?

Now I think I'd pay a buck or two to see a three balled rabbit, but I don't thinkthe rabbit would be faster than a greased weasel.

[Kurious 15]

I guess that my living in Asia for over a decade, part of it as a single, may have soften my views compared to others. The idea of a pro for a first time might be a easy way. I am of course speaking with my "local" point of view where most pros here are bi.

It is a sexual experience, is it swinging ?

It is, after all, a commercial transaction, might work to get at ease, but cannot be the real thing ?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

If you are intimidated by meeting people like yourselves at a swingers club, or by doing a search for swingers through an online ad site, what makes you feel this will change after paying someone to have sex with you?

 

Using a prostitute, even if it turned out an excellent experience, would still not prepare you for swinging. You could maybe learn how to do some things sexually that you've not done before. But you can do that with swingers too. You don't have to be a pro at sex to have fun with swingers. Part of what makes swinging so great is the discovery with other swingers; you learn things from each other.

 

Acting out a pleasurable sexual experience, and I think this is what you get from a prostitute--it is their job afterall, won't get you closer to knowing how to handle sex--and relationships--with swingers.

 

If you both are excited by the thought of hiring a prostitute, do it. But I don't think it can be seen as the same thing as swinging, nor will it prepare you to interact with swingers.

 

LM

[warkman 31]

Even though it involves more work finding someone, I would think your encounter with swingers would have a better chance at being fulfilling (so to speak ) You end up with people who are equally attracted to you, whose primary goal is good sex and not a paycheck.

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

With us, we have never hired a hooker nor will we ever hire one. You never know who they have been with, and they might be carrying an STD or something like that. So we just play it safe and stay away from prostitutes.

[mwsw4ever 15]

I would say that the risks of STDs or getting caught by the police would have to be thought of before acting.I also agree with Likeminds that this experience would not prepare you for swinging.I feel that if a woman is going to have sex with just anyone that gives her enough money isn't really attracted to me and wouldn't turn me on as much.One of my favorite things about the lifestyle is that i feel more assured that the female wants to have sex with me because she has some attraction to me.We recently played with a local couple who their first "experience" was at a local strip club where they had a "private" dance with a girl.When they did they paid for 3 dances and his wife ended up going down on her and she sucked him a little bit,he didn'r get off, then afterwards she asked for $100 more.They felt they didn't get what they were looking for in the lifestyle and felt more used than anything else.

[GFandME 17]

YES, we have done it and love doing it.

 

no pressure for her the first time at all. no worries about her falling in love with me and we all know its is just for FUN....NO relationship at all.

 

i highly recommend it.

[GorAndLor 16]

I went to see my dad, & I hit a hell of a jackpot in Reno & since Mustang Ranch was on the way, I stopped, had fun & hit the road. But if your a good looking lady & want to make some good quick cash you can work at most of the brothels in Nevada after getting hiv tested. some of the ladys make $10,000 after taxes a week

[montefazon 15]

My wife and I are newbies, but have had 1 or 2 experiences in the past year. We are getting antsy and are looking for our next "conquest" but due to an issue that we had with a previous playmate my wife mentioned that she wants to play with someone a little more "professional." So I started looking for couples escorts (escorts who do their thing as a team). Would anyone get involved with such an endeavor? My wife wants the utmost annonymity, and feels that a provider is someone that we would never run into in our vanilla lives (the wife actually interviewed a previous playmate for a job where she works!! - that was the bad situation I spoke of up above. Imagine seeing someone you fucked at a swingers club on the other side of a desk at a job interview!! Very very bad...). Anyway, does anyone think this is a good idea. Has anyone done anything like this before? We'd likely meet up at a hotel, they do a couples massage on us, maybe an erotic jaunt in the hot tub, they put on a show, and we join in if we are so inclined.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Monte

[TNT 1,155]

Can't say that I have ever seen or heard of anything like that before, but if there is someone who can think it up, then there is someone who does it.

 

Since you are wanting anonymity have you thought about going out of town to find someone? There would be a less likely chance that anyone you met away from you home town would be someone you would run into in the vanilla world.

 

 

Teresa

[Chip_n_Muffy 16]

Hmmm, I would think that unless they are paid professionals, they would still have "day" jobs and "day" lives. So the chance vanilla encounters would still have the same likelyhood. Maybe you need to swing out of town? But I'm a newbie, so what do I know?

[findtime 16]

We went to Mexico and ran into lifestyle couples who lived 10 minutes away from us.

 

It's a small world and it might not matter if you party out of town. We've run into co-workers before, too. Just gives you a reason to smirk at each other while heading to the coffee machine.

 

That said, the chances of having to interview someone you've played with are remote and the situation must have been horrible for your wife. It's no small wonder she's gun shy. The likelihood of that repeating itself is slim.

 

Get professionals if you must but I think the experience will lose a lot of the allure if you know the couple you're with is being paid (I'm assuming that's the case) to spend time with you. If not, I don't understand how it would end up being any different than plain swinging.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

No better or worse an idea than hiring an escort to complete a threesome. I never realized there were Escort Couples, but like TNT said, I'm not surprised.

 

As far as the question of using escorts in general, you'll find several other threads have hashed and rehashed that question, and it really comes down to you making the decision of whether or not it is something you are comfortable with.

[S&E 15]

We have never done this, hired an escort, but we have often discussed this, just to by pass all of the aggrevation trying to find the ever elusive single bi female to join a married couple for pure unadulterated fun & pleasure. No drama , no games, no no- shows , no let down , just fun.

 

We have talked about finding an up scale bi female escort to play with us one night. This is an interesting post and I am curious as to how many other couples have considered the same thing. Or for that matter, may have not considered it before, but may now talk about it or explore it further.

 

S&E

[meandher2go 17]

we did it for our first FMF. it was a great experience for us. scary too. the whole idea of getting thrown in jail for it scares the heck out me (im too good looking for jail)...lol

 

but the girl had been with couples before and knew EXACTLY what to say,do and NOT do. she knew we had rules on that first fmf and asked about them and assured us they would NOT be broken.

 

its a great way to get started if ya ask us since finding that single, BI female is near impossible.....

 

using protection was a given for us as we still use condoms with any male,female or couple we are with.

[driveajeepnaked 26]

Hate to say this, but we have been lucky enough to have been with 6 single bi-females in about 18 months... I read all the time about the "unicorn" syndrome, and while that is true for many, we must have the luck of the Unicorn in our corner.

 

Had that not been the case, I don't think that we'd have gone the route of the escort-female, just for the safety and legal issues...

 

V

[WesternSwing 504]

Knowing what I know after being in the lifestyle for a while I'd say find a non-pro woman for your first, it will make it much more special for your wife when she knows the woman really desires her and wants to have sex with her and isn't just being paid to do so.

 

Mr. WS

[cj22s 15]

You can try to find a couple who will play separately, then maybe you can have a 4some when you are ready. It will save you a ton of money.

[dayhiker 83]

hi jfry,

As commented it will cost you a lot to hire an escort. But they they will really know what they are doing.

 

I think it was the 2nd podcast on swinger cast where the wife hired an escort of her husbands birthday or something ... if you got time to listern, they are great at telling their experiences.

 

http://www.swingercast.com/

 

dayhiker

[Chicup 41]

Knowing what I know after being in the lifestyle for a while I'd say find a non-pro woman for your first, it will make it much more special for your wife when she knows the woman really desires her and wants to have sex with her and isn't just being paid to do so.

 

Mr. WS

 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks paying for sex is not the way to go with this. :rollseyes

[JnCC 24]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks paying for sex is not the way to go with this. :rollseyes

Ideally, it's not.

 

In fact, if all she wants is a FF experience, she could probably find it in a gay bar. But if they want an FMF, or a FFM, the problem gets a lot more complicated. Hiring an escort under those conditions could make a lot of sense.

 

Many couples simply don't have the time nor patience to find a single woman that meets their requirements for the elusive, occasional, "third." It's no secret that even couples with many contacts and much experience in the lifestyle, find it almost impossible to find an attractive, single bi-female. That's why they call them "Unicorns."

 

If you're only going to do it once, why spend a lot of time looking for one? Why not go first-class? Even if it costs a couple hundred bucks, it's probably cheaper in the long run, and you'll get what you want, when you want it.

 

It's been years since I planned a birthday party for a child. But if my daughter insisted on having a "Unicorn" visit her birthday party, I'd much rather call a theatrical agency or party planner and rent one, than to putz around in the "Magic Forest" for God-knows-how-long trying to find one.

[techloc 15]

During our lovemaking sessions we often watch porn and get very excited when an additional female or two is in the scene. My wife gets very verbal and says she wants a female to join in but when I try to discuss it with her afterwards she doesn't want to talk. I am no different that any other male out there and would love the idea of being with two women, and when my wife suggested it before I did it was very exciting. On the rare occasion I can get her to discuss a female she suggests we go to Vegas and pay for a prostitute. I'm not opposed to this, which leads me to the question. Is a prostitute the best way to explore the experience? Has anyone gone this route and if so, what are your recommendations and is it costly?

[good times 991]

Well, it is not the way I would do it, but I guess if your wife is into that and it sounds good to you, why not? You would be better off going to Reno though, the brothels are closer to town and their are more to choose from.

 

As far as cost, the girls at the brothels negotiate their own price from what I understand (never been to one so can't tell you from first hand experience, but I do have a few friends that visit them regularly) and yes, it can be quite expensive.

 

On the other hand, if your wife is just doing this to please you and isn't really into it herself, I would recomend you forget the whole thing. Because if you go through with it and she is just doing it to make you happy, you will regret it later.

[DBL D 120]

Real People are SO much better...Not that prostitutes don't hold an important place in society...

 

Male D

[LOL_OMG 130]

I've seriously thought about going to Nevada and going to a brothel. I guess it was after I saw "Cathouse" on HBO. Those women were gorgeous (especially Sunset Thomas) and seemed like they really wanted to please. I would think maybe I could learn a thing or two from them....anyways, it's just a little fantasy from LOL_OMG world

 

Mrs LOL

[Couple-N-NM 48]

Girlfriend and I went to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch over the Christmas holidays. It was gonna cost us around $2,000.00 to play for an hour so we just went back home and fucked like moonlit bunnies for free.

 

I guess it would be an OK way to get your feet wet, but if you've never been in a group situation sometimes Mr. Happy doesn't cooperate no matter how badly you want him to. That being the case, I seriously doubt that a refund would be in order.

 

I'd suggest you talk, talk and then when you're done talking, talk some more to your wife. Not to try to talk her into it, but rather to communicate how you feel and reinforce the fact that you're not looking for a license to cheat. Then give her time to think without pressure and if she's amenable to the deal she'll let you know.

[LOL_OMG 130]

Getting back to the original question....

 

Techloc it's my opinion that maybe your wife is uncertain about the whole swinger thing and has no idea what to expect. I would recommend that you show her this site so that she can learn a bit more, when my hubby first brought it up I felt hurt and unsure as to what his motives were.

 

Lots to talk about, I don't think a prostitute is necessarily bad...but maybe you want to discover a little more about what you are looking for. Talking honestly to each other will help more than you know...

 

Mrs LOL

[meandher2go 17]

we rented a girl for our first time and it was great. We know its NOT for everyone but it worked out great for us.

 

we still had rules which made it easier on HER and the girl was a pleasure to be around. She wanted to talk to HER the nite before to hear her rules and talk a bit to make everyone more comfy which helped too.

 

She was rented but the experience was perfect for us. from there we lost all of our rules and never looked back since.

 

so is it the BEST way to get started, i dont know. but for MEandHER it WAS ! ! !

[meandher2go 17]

gonna run you anywhere from $300 to $500 per hour. its that high cause not too many girls offer that on thier menu..

[xxhale 15]

no it is not a good idea

[Miss123 15]

Never tried it, but would never knock it. We've actually talked about it (hubby n I) and actually....I kinda like the idea....she won't expect a call back or subtuly harass or question you or your honey. The ultimate "NO STRINGS ATTACHED"

[sereneiders 263]

Never tried it, but would never knock it. We've actually talked about it (hubby n I) and actually....I kinda like the idea....she won't expect a call back or subtuly harass or question you or your honey. The ultimate "NO STRINGS ATTACHED"

 

Yep. But the NO STRINGS ATTACHED doesn't mean ALL the string, insthead certain ones that could interfer with your marriage.

 

There are other strings you'd like to attach, like the people involved caring about each other, just because they care about themselves and about their own relationships. This provides a safe environment to play.

 

You may have this from a prostitute, too, but the problem is how to ensure this.

 

Swingers have the same issues you have, they make an effort to swing, investing time, money, and effort to remain emotionaly health, those who fail in those investments stop swinging after a few experiences. It's more likely that you'll be safer with experienced swingers than with a prostitute.

 

Prostitues are human, they have their own issues, uness recomended the only thing telling you thei're pros, ensuring they'd be able to provide and support a safe environment, and even that there wont be any string attached is their own word when claiming thei're prostitutes. They make no investments of any sort to swing (the body is already invested, but as part of their profession and disregarding the kind of game to play).

 

I'd stick to the motto: don't fuck someone who have less to lose than yourself. Most swingers have something to loose, and even when this may be drama pronning, it is a way more solid common ground.

 

At least, wait until you have your own experience as a swinger before bringing a prostitute into your bed.

[aviancpl 15]

An unorthodox answer:

 

We would argue that no one new to the lifestyle should EVER use a prostitute for the first time, unless it's just going to be a one-shot deal and you have no intentions of continuing on in the "lifestyle."

 

Why? Because all the events and experiences leading up to that first encounter (first visit to a club - wide eyed and open mouthed, attending meet & greets, playing e-mail tag on the swinger sites, the IM sessions, etc etc etc) are like "preschool" for the lifestyle. This is to say, that during your "ramp up" process you get valuable experiences and insights that give you a pretty good idea if this lifestyle is something you both want to be involved in. If you use a prostitute, you miss all that. A threesome with a paid lady and a couple swap or FMF with a legit lifestyle lady are two VERY different things, trust us on this.

 

Not knocking all the folks for whom the prostitute scenario works, and we don't look down on the profession at all. It's just that we feel we would have deprived ourselves of some of the self-discovery benefits of swinging had we gone that route (the sex is just a side benefit )

[meandher2go 17]

we really only rented a girl to see if she (her) was gonna have any problems with being jealous. she didnt know what to expect seeing me naked with another girl in bed having fun. granted she was there and involved as it should be, but she just didnt know. the fact that she didnt have as much to worry about in the girl calling me or falling in love with me part was a big relief for HER too.

 

i know its NOT for everyone, but it sure made a lot of sense for us.

 

we did enjoy the slow,baby steps after that nite in finding the right couple to get involved with but didnt wanna get to that point if she was gonna be jealous. it wasnt fair to that first couple to bring DRAMA into thier life if she was gonna be wierded out by it.

 

luckily it worked out and we are beyond that point now and enjoying every dang minute of the ride together....

[Miss123 15]

I actually initiated the subject and I actually would enjoy not participating in the event. Maybe I just have a fetish? Maybe the swinging isn't what we are looking for? I have no clue but whatever pleases him is what I want. I want to see the "look" on his face and sharing isn't an issue with me. I'm secure and happy with the thought of he & I enjoying this experience together, just not willing to have a third party in our regular family life , so I thought a professional would fit the bill.

[techloc 15]

Wow! I want to thank everyone for their responses. I appreciate each person's candor. I'm not sure exactly what we are going to do but we have some valuable input to chew on.

[jnbsmokin 29]

I don't know about this, I'm anti-hooker, of course I am from TN--- the Volunteer state...lol

I would rather be with somebody who actually wanted to be with me. This coming from the fem-half.

[nicerrtxcple 13]

nope would never use them to much danger

[lotsoffun201 175]

WE have used them in the past as my wife is rather particular about the third in our sex life. She desires a certain type of look and truthfully that is not always easy to find.

 

WE might be different from most in that we don't look for long term friendships, but rather casual encounters so it can be really hit or miss for us.