My wife is addicted to gangbang. What should I do?

[Mogambo 16]

My wife proposed the swinging lifestyle 15 years back to which I agreed. In the beginning we started with MFM threesome and eventually tried couple to couple interaction, my wife & single males without my involvement, me and single woman without my wife’s participation to accommodate singles who are not comfortable with threesomes.

 

Everything went well until 2001. My wife told me that she wants to try gangbang. We went to one private gangbang party. My wife was raved by six single males. The manner in which she was raved made me uncomfortable. However I was surprised to observe that my wife was enjoying tremendously hence I did not stop her from what she was doing.

 

Later on I told my displeasure about gangbang. My wife asked me the reason. I said, the guys did not pay any respect, behaving as if you are slut. She said, look I enjoyed immensely. Our objective is get maximum pleasure and fulfills our deepest hidden fantasy. As long as I achieve it then who cares what any one thinks of me? I am not going to marry anyone. What makes you think that they did not respect me?

 

I told her, I did not like the way the group fondled your breasts as soon as we entered the room without asking your permission or even bothering to introduce about them before touching. Then they never gave you any choice. They all pounced on you like hyenas and you were simply submitting to their deeds. They made few offending remarks which you ignored.

 

She said, look, single males who are not real broadminded are bound to react that way. In gangbang you have to compromise with few ideals.

 

I did not agree to it and I told that let us work out the boundaries in swinging. She said, if you are not comfortable then it will jeopardize our marriage hence let us stop this swinging lifestyle and be exclusive to each other.

 

Since we could not agree on boundaries we stopped swinging. I became frustrated within six months and suggested threesome. My wife refused. She said, if you are comfortable then I will go to the parties alone for Gangbang and you can enjoy your own ways. If we both are comfortable with this then let us start again. Because I can’t agree with swinging that suits you only. Over period of time my desires have changed and I get strong urge for gangbang and don’t feel like going for threesome or foursome. If you don’t feel threatened by this then let us start again. Otherwise our marriage is first priority to me.

 

I agreed with her demands and then we started swinging. She then regularly visits (once a month) gangbang parties for last three years. During this gangbang she started enjoying anal sex, oral sex which she used to hate. What really surprised me is her consistent interest in swinging. I know many broadminded couples who have lost interest in wife swapping in few years time. I have lost interest in swinging as well and I am not able to understand why my wife still desires gangbang. I have no objection if she continues to visit gangbang parties but I am perplexed for her prolonged interest in gangbang. Three years is very long period. Gang bang parties are ok for 2-3 times to fulfill fantasy but three years are not understandable.

 

I wanted to test whether she is badly addicted to GB parties and suggested that let us be exclusive to each other. She reacted very adversely and said, I can’t dance all the time on your tune. Now what is problem? I said I am concerned about you which she does not agree.

 

I don’t want to impose my opinion on her but this time I am not able to communicate her because of her perception about me that my decisions in the past about swinging is impulsive knee jerk reaction. I am confused and would like input from experienced swingers.

[dave110256 21]

I agree with you. A lot of men (including myself) have a fantasy of seeing my wife enjoy a gang bang. But I would not want this to become a way of life with us, maybe just a fantasy or even a treat...but not always. My wife and I have both agreed that if either one of us is uncomfortable with any idea or situation we are in the other will understand and it will not take place or continue. It sounds like your wife and you don't have the same understanding.

 

I would suggest talking to her about this and expressing your concerns and ask her what it is she needs sexually. Maybe sex isn't the problem, maybe it is...but I don't see a happy ending to this story if the two of you don't come to an agreement of some sort.

[northindycpl 32]

I do not participate in Gang Bangs, nor is it a fantasy of my Mr.'s but I can empathize with your wife. I think a Gang Bang is a different kind of swinging. To me it is more of a fetish, and although your wife may appear to be disrespected during the bang, she is probably getting a lot more out of it then she will ever tell you. Although these men are ravaging her, she is the ultimate center of attention. And she has the ability to be very, very naughty in the process. She is getting a different kind of respect from these me. It is not societal respect, it is respect from the standpoint that everyman wants her, and everyman there wants to play with her, and every man can play with her. I think she is actually in the position of power more than anyone else there. I would imagine that can be intoxicating.

 

Now that you know why she wants to do it..... you need to figure out why you don't want her to do it. I read your post a few times, and the only thing I can figure out is that you are uncomfortable with it because it is not your fantasy anymore, and your wife hasn't met your comfort level by helping establish rules for the bang.

 

I still think that there is more to it than that. What exactly makes you uncomfortable? What exact activities during the bang would you like for her to avoid? Are you having any jealousy issues with the other men because she is becoming more open to other acts? (Like Blow jobs and Anal Sex)

Do you have a hard time respecting her because she is acting, in your opinion, slutty? Are you feeling left out?

 

Now in our relationship, if Mr Indy asked me not to do something I would stop immediately and be with him. We have a good set of rules for almost any circumstance, and we are both very comfortable with them. To a certain degree I can understand where your wife is coming from. It sounds like from what you have written so far, that you guys had some rather liberal rules to begin with, and since you have been in the lifestyle for more than a decade, I think that is reasonable. But now, it seems to me you want to make changes to the rules, that maybe didn't exist before, or without reason. I am not advocating that there has to be a reason for every rule change, but I do think that since this is such an important issue to you, and clearly an ongoing issue between you two, you need to have reasons.

 

If I were your wife and truly enjoyed something, and you allowed me to do it for a period of time, and then all of a sudden didn't want me to do it, or wanted me to restrict it, I would be confused and frustrated, and would probably behave much like your wife is doing.

 

To me it is unreasonable for you to impose rules this far into the game without valid reasons.

 

So again, my advice to you, is for you to determine what it is exactly that you do not like about her GB and to articulate that in a compassionate way to your wife. You then must sit without judgement and listen to her explain what exactly she likes from the GB. Hopefully when the 2 of you compare notes, you will be able to reach a compromise that serves both of your needs.

 

At this point you are in a stalemate, and neither one of you are going to get any farther along without good, honest communication without judgement or hesitation.

[HotMoCpl 20]

I noticed that you never mentioned getting involved in the gang band. If she getting the whole train (GB) then maybe you should get on board. Besides, I must agree with the person who said that she's really the one in power when she's got more guys to please her.

 

All aboard!

[NotsoNew 17]

I think that Northindycpl hit the nail on the head about the power your wife feels in these Gang Bang situations. And I also agree that you both need to regroup and discuss this further.

 

One thing I find very interesting are your comments about respect. I can understand your viewpoint very well. After all, you had both been in the Lifestyle for about 12 years when your wife wants to fulfill a fantasy of hers. You have been living and breathing one basic rule of the Lifestyle - respect. And to you, it seems as though you view this situation as a violation of the rules and you see it as being very disrespectful to your wife.

 

Also, I would be concerned about the safety of the situations. I am assuming it is not the same group of men each month.

 

Perhaps what you need to do is to approach your wife with concern. I am assuming that she is in a club situation when these GB's happen. Instead of stating that you don't like it or putting her on the defensive, try "I am concerned about you. While I know that you can take care of yourself, I am worried about you when I am not with you because you never know when a situation can get out of control. But when I have observed you in these GB's, I can't help but to feel as though you are being violated and disrespected and it makes me angry that these men choose to treat you like that. I don't want to ruin something that gives you pleasure, but I can't get over these feelings that I have. What can we work out together so we are both comfortable with future encounters?"

 

I am not expert, but may be a starting point for a good, open conversation. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Honestly, to me it sounds like you want things on your terms or nothing. She was right to say that you guys should stop swinging when you couldn't agree on boundaries. And if you are going to be able to do what you want then she should be able to do what she wants. It sounds to me like since you aren't getting anything out of the GB's and don't particularly care for them that you think she should stop doing them.

 

Does the fact that she enjoys gangbangs once a month make her addicted to them? NO. No more so than any couples who enjoys swinging once a month (or more), many couples enjoy swinging for much more than a year or two.

 

All that said, if you really want to completely stop swinging and have told her so, that you want it all to stop and she refuses to do so, then you have much bigger problems and I doubt they have anything to do with gangbangs. Basically, she has lost respect for you (and based on what I've read, I'm not surprised), and from the sounds of it you are losing respect for her as well for her decisions to participate in gangbangs.

 

At this point you guys need some serious marriage counseling to rebuild your relationship and work from there. The swinging has to stop if your relationship is to continue.

[LaStrata 16]

There is always the possibility of addiction - addiction is not defined by how often or how much, but by the meaning the drug of choice has to the addict - and if the addict is willing to risk everything of value to indulge in the drug of choice.

 

There is really no way you, or some uninvolved counselor, or anyone else can truly know if your wife's behavior is a compulsion or recreational unless there are some regular extreme examples that wave red flags. Once a month is not a red flag. Nor does it mean she is not an addict. Either way, whether she is or is not, addicts rarely stop because someone else wants them to - they need to come to a point of recognizing they are doing something that is destroying who they are. Is your wife destroying who she is? That would be a big red flag.

 

I would be careful of counselors/therapists. There are many who would say swinging is not healthy no matter what. I commend your openness and willingness to have your wife fulfilled. That said, after reading both of your posts, it seems to me that your wife's' desires go against some of your value systems, and you have a hard time seeing her as a slut or wanting to be one. Many women enjoy being a slut for a nite, and be treated as such. I've had many a time myself that I felt like saying - stop worshiping me and treat me like the dirty slut I am!! This is sometimes confused with being treated poorly and being disrespected. Our society has taught us that if women are viewed as sexual objects, that this is somehow disrespectful. It is only disrespectful if she doesn't want to be treated that way, or if she is treated that way exclusively.

 

These men can and do treat her that way, because that is what they are there for. That is what she is there for. It doesn't mean that anyone is being bad or disrespectful - it only means that everyone is free to be turned on by what turns them on.

 

I think you have a hard time accepting that your wife likes to get down and dirty and there is somehow something wrong with this - and perhaps you need to ask yourself how and why you feel the way you do.

[Mogambo 16]

Thanks for your reply. I am not so much against her participation in gangbang but some how I had a mindset that woman’s desire for a repeated gang bang is an indication of some thing wrong with her. Because of this preconceived notion I handled this situation inappropriately. This is going on for approx. three years as far as I remember. After about one year of her participation I thought she is addicted and she needs treatment. I talked with one therapist and he confirmed that my wife is addicted and needs treatment. I talked with my wife about treatment and she was furious. Then I happened to discover this forum and wrote my situation and asked for forum member’s opinion about this. At that time Julie and few others gave very good suggestions. Julie provided me the link which revealed me that there are woman out there though minority who have this fantasy so I realized that my wife is not weirdo if she desires gangbang but her blunt refusal to seek therapist made me think that she is addicted and needs treatment. One advice that I like in my previous post was to talk to her openly and understand her needs & her point of view so that I can understand why she is doing the way she is doing. So I opened up the topic after I read responses for my earlier post.

 

“Why you are refusing to meet therapist?”

 

“Because I am sure I don’t need that treatment. You know in our society swinging is not considered as an alternative sexual life style so no matter what you say you will be branded that you need treatment. If you want to taste then ask your therapist whether threesome is normal in their view because threesome is normal activity for you.”

 

“ Look you can’t paint all therapist with one brush. We don’t have experience about this so we can’t make such generalization.”

 

“ If we both decides to resolve this issue then we can discuss and work out the solution and for that we don’t need any therapist and if we can’t agree on some issue then no therapist in the world is going to make us agree on something that you or me don’t want to. So please don’t give me that bullshit again. We need to improve our rational thinking & understanding by empathizing each others views. Can you tell me what is your actual problem?”

 

“My actual problem is that I am not comfortable when I hear some one call you slut or drag you, kiss you, fondle your breast with haste. I know that they are doing it because they know that you are available for them but total lack of etiquette makes me uncomfortable.”

 

“You expect that these blokes should treat me like delicate glass then I will tell you I am fed up with etiquette and formal behaviour in swinging. That takes away my most of the pleasure because I concentrate on what I should talk, what I should do & should not. Am I pleasing everyone or not. These blocks are direct. Why they need my permission to kiss, cuddle or fondle my breast when they know why I am there for?”

 

“Ok. Could you tell me what is so special in gang bang that liked you very much?”

 

“I liked the intensity of lust I see in their eyes, the impatience to get me in bed, their begging for more sex, their try to impress me in bed. Every single male pays undivided attention to me. Nothing happens of this sort in couple to couple interaction because if male pays more attention to me then it will not be viewed favourably by his wife so swinging is more like formal process and hence boring to me. Whereas in gang bang when the group undress me I enjoy when they are mesmerized by my nude beauty. When I see that all eyes are locked to my nude beauty, when I sense their deep breathing, when I see their delayed eyelid flashing, it intoxicates me. The group try to compete with each other to get my attention. At one occasion one male took measurement of my vagina, inner lips, outer lips everything and compared with perceived good looking vagina as per vagina institute and told every one that my vagina stand out from others. I know it looks childish but it is pampering that I like. If I talk dirty the group enjoys it. I don’t feel any pressure about being tactful or diplomatic.”

 

“Well. Even if I agree that you enjoy all this but fact remains that why your interest is sustained for a long period of time because after the novelty is worn off then it becomes monotonous & looses its charm. Gang bang can’t be an exception to this general phenomenon”

 

“Gang bang are not monotonous because every gang bang is unique in some way. In one Gb party, after i was undressed they apply chocolate from breast to my legs and every one licked my body. Some one comes with some innovative sex game and i enjoy it. But in general swinging life style has short life but I take conscious effort to make it interesting because it pays me in terms of extreme pleasure I get out of it.

“Don’t you think things can go out of control?”

 

“I now make home work, do lot of planning and execute gang bang as per my terms. I screen candidates, see their photos, learn their real or nick names whatever they declare before we meet in Gang bang. Introduce myself confidently to the group. Call them by their names. It makes lot of difference. Tell them what is expected by me and ask what they want from this gang bang. Take everyone in confidence. There are always one or two stupid people in gang bang. Ask other members what they think and they will ridicules them and it takes your pressure off to defend yourself. Ignore stupid fellow. Express with body language and they fall in line. If I don’t want to offer sex to the idiot then I distract him by talking with him or showing over active in sex. Some block expect you as submitting female in bed but female aggressiveness puts them off or they loose their confidence as a result loose their erection because of performance anxiety intentionally created. If I like the guy and if he can’t maintain erection because of anxiety then I relax him and give blow job and when he regains erection then I took initiative and see that he succeeds. There are many block who can’t perform first time. So I have learnt the tricks of the trade hence I know how to control the mob. I can give you the anomaly of the teacher. How teacher controls the class? Same thing applies here as well. So don’t worry about situations going out of hand . No way.”

 

“ Well I can’t win you in argument as usual but I still think that the best way to know whether we are addicted or not is to skip swinging for some period and see whether you get that withdrawal symptom for gang bang. Or else let us define the rules and boundaries for our swinging”

 

“ Well to be honest with you I will suffer from withdrawal symptoms. It will be indeed painful for me to leave gang bang. Let me tell you, I never get orgasm while intercourse. You give me orgasm by licking my clitoris or by vibrator but not in intercourse. That does not mean I don’t enjoy with you. Same thing happened with other type of swinging but in gang bang because I am totally relaxed and enjoy the environment I get multiple orgasm when two boobs are being sucked by two people, one person busy in kissing and one is shagging me. I did not get this multiple orgasm in first couple of gang bang encounters but when I gained total control in gang bang then I have been getting so many multiple orgasm that i just can’t explain. I know how much I missed by not going for gang bang earlier than I started. but if that is what you are after then I will prefer to quit swinging but will not accept any rules and regulations. We are swinging for more than decades and it is going fine and now why suddenly we need rules? The need of framing rules says that some thing is not right now so better leave this swinging altogether because saving our marriage is first priority. Bottom line is trust and understanding.”

 

“ look we should not be slave to our habits so at least let us take a break for a while.”

 

“OK” she agreed and then we took break for six months. After that I realized that she proved what she meant. After six months I asked her if she still has desire for gang bang . She said yes. I then allowed her to participate in gang bang with the assumption that she will loose interest within year or two but my assumptions went wrong. She is still very much interested in continuing in her sex romp. I have not lost any respect for her gang bang but some how I feel like she should leave swinging. But from your opinion it seems that I should better leave it to her. I think i have become selfish in the process & creating hurdles in the pleasure of poor lady who has done so much sacrifice for my family.

[SluttyWife 17]

Hi Mogambo,

 

Slutty Wife here. I have some experience in this area and my best advice to you is to keep on talking. I agree with others here that your wife is getting something out of her monthly gangbang parties as well.

 

We might as well face it that gangbangs are about pleasuring the insatiable and all the "normal" etiquette in swinging truly does not apply. Part of the appeal of gangbangs IMHO is in the letting go and being sexually taken to some wild and crazy places. That's what's so titillating and about it, hubby! I personally LOVE and really get off on this sort of play...but like Julie said it really isn't swinging.

 

Maybe the best way to handle this is to arrange your own little gangbang where you have more say about the quality of participants? Perhaps you could help put together a guest list of couples into swinging/threesomes and gangbangs so each of you could have more of what you seek?

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

Well, an occasional gangbang is fine. But once a month for three years- more than I am comfortable with. More than I suspect most swingers are comfortable with. All in all, I really haven't seen too many real honest to life gang bangs. In fact- I haven't seen a one. So I suspect most male halves would be a little put out if their spouse wanted a monthly fix like this.

 

And so what if it's about control? You're damn right I control who my wife sleeps with. But the same can be said for her, she controls who I sleep with.

 

I would NOT be comfortable with other men calling my wife slut, even if she is- coming from me it's with affection and even admiration...Coming from other guys, it can be simply degrading. Swinging is about BOTH our comfort. I think Mogambo has gone above and beyond in acceptance.

 

If she can't back off of gang bangs, or step it down a notch or two- then there are real issues in the marriage. Where is the compromise in this relationship? Where is the give and take? Why is it all everything or nothing, i.e. accept my monthly gang bangs or stop completely? Who is trying to control who here?

 

Sorry, I DON'T think Mogambo is being selfish. If his wife was mine- she would be living somewhere else. I wouldn't have a wife gang bang problem- because I wouldn't have that wife.

 

Good luck dude- you need IT, and possibly a new wife.

 

NEEDING a monthly gang bang? I don't think so....

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

I must say you have a VERY vivid recall of exactly what she said to you.

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

I must say you have a VERY vivid recall of exactly what she said to you.

 

Writing all of that would be an awful lot of work for a troll...wouldn't it?

[bigman99 16]

I caught my wife cheating on me about 2 years ago, so I told her to do a gangbang and we would forget about it (I figured she would get enough). She did 6 guys. I caught her again a few months ago, so she said she would do a big gangbang for me (that was my fantasy),so she met a guy on the net and he said about a stag party, she said about doing 10 guys but he said there would be about 15 so she said ok.

 

Anyway the guys talked at their worksite and they saw a pic of her and now around 30 are going to be there, it doubled in a week and she says she told them she would do it so she will take all she can.

 

My problem is that all the guys want to fuck her (no bj's) and she don't do anal, so can 1 woman handle all these guys by herself (ages early to mid 20's...she's 35). With guys this age word may spread, so it could be more, and she wants to go alone and it's 100 miles from here.

 

Have any of you women been in this kind of situation, if so, how did it go, and how were you after? And after you do this, does it take more to satisfy you?

 

Have any of you guys done this and how did you treat the woman and how was she after? I'm new to this so what does it mean when they say about it getting out of hand and what happens, does the woman have a say or do the guys take over and do what they want, and could this gangbang get out of hand or is it safe?

[intuition897 2,179]

Never tried a GB before, but I'm thinking it definitely has the potential to get dangerously out of hand. Especially when you hear that the guest list is spiralling out of control like that. She's not a friggin' carnival ride! You've got the "mob mentality" to be concerned about where they stop listening to her, stop playing, and start using her for real. Then there's the concern about STDs. Might want to screen for that. And then of course, after the party, there's the matter of discretion. With that many young jackasses having participated in their first ever GB, there will be plenty of, "Dude! You won't fuckin' believe what I did this weekend..."

 

I know that GBs have been a good thing for some folks, but I don't know if this is what you two should be focusing on right now. The problem is your wife has been dishonest with you. Getting her laid by a group of guys that you know nothing about is NOT the solution you're looking for. The real problem is, she has no reason (that she believes) to be honest with you. Make her understand how important her honesty is to you.

[JnCC 24]

bigman99 said:

Anyway the guys talked at their worksite and they saw a pic of her and now around 30 are going to be there, it doubled in a week and she says she told them she would do it so she will take all she can.

 

...could this gangbang get out of hand or is it safe?

That was a pretty long post. Let's see if we can break it down to it's essentials...

 

Your wife met some guy on the internet who proposed that she pull a gang-bang for 30 guys, none of whom you know, at some undisclosed location 100 miles from where you live. You, being a nice guy and all, are totally OK with all this, you just want to know if it "might get out of hand?"

 

Dude, it's ALREADY "out of hand"

[Chicup 41]

bigman99 said:

I caught my wife cheating on me about 2 years ago, so I told her to do a gangbang and we would forget about it (I figured she would get enough). She did 6 guys. I caught her again a few months ago, so she said she would do a big gangbang for me (that was my fantasy),so she met a guy on the net and he said about a stag party, she said about doing 10 guys but he said there would be about 15 so she said ok.

 

Anyway the guys talked at their worksite and they saw a pic of her and now around 30 are going to be there, it doubled in a week and she says she told them she would do it so she will take all she can.

 

My problem is that all the guys want to fuck her (no bj's) and she don't do anal, so can 1 woman handle all these guys by herself (ages early to mid 20's...she's 35). With guys this age word may spread, so it could be more, and she wants to go alone and it's 100 miles from here.

 

Have any of you women been in this kind of situation, if so, how did it go, and how were you after? And after you do this, does it take more to satisfy you?

 

Have any of you guys done this and how did you treat the woman and how was she after? I'm new to this so what does it mean when they say about it getting out of hand and what happens, does the woman have a say or do the guys take over and do what they want, and could this gangbang get out of hand or is it safe?

 

Not to be judgemental but are you freeking high?

 

You catch her cheating and her 'punishment' is she 'and she wants to go alone and it's 100 miles from here.'

 

Then you ask "and could this gangbang get out of hand or is it safe?"

 

You are going to send your wife off alone, to fuck 30+ strangers, 100 miles from your house, you don't know them, and you want to know if its safe?

 

Someone tell me this isn't a serious post HELP

[WesternSwing 504]

Sometimes I wonder if posts like these are done because the poster thinks we are all going to chime in with "oh yeah! I love orgies and gang bangs! Woohoo!" Then they can point and say "See, I told you swingers are just a bunch of horny, perverted, dirty freaks who worship the devil, molest children, lure good, caring husbands away from their wife, and torture puppies in their spare time."

 

On the chance this isn't such a post... Like Chicup and JnCC said "ARE YOU FREAKING HIGH? DUDE, IT'S ALREADY OUT OF HAND!"

 

Mrs. WS and I talked about this subject on the way to work yesterday and although we don't fault those that do like a gang bang, she has no interest in one. She loves a good MFM, and maybe a MMMF, but more then that and someone is left out. Plus a bunch of guys talking about sports and trying to keep it hard for when their turn comes up just isn't a turn-on to her.

[Mogambo 16]

Mate, from my experience I can tell you that going for 30+ people is definitely crazy idea. Beside having to worry about spouse safety, diseases, the real nuisance come from first timers & immature young guys. After GB participation, they boast to every one they know. What intuition897 said is absolutely true. I have heard this exact words from immature first timers , "Dude! You won't fuckin' believe what I did this weekend..."

 

One of my customer who wanted to please me actually invited me to join my wife's gang bang as he was not aware that she is my wife. This situation is really unpleasant. We eventually relocated to another city. My wife eventually gave up her GB activity. I was not against her pleasure but was not comfortable anything beyond MMMMF. So you have to be realistic my friend.

[Merric 21]

I find I have to agree a hundred percent with Nymph an' Satyr there is something screwy here. From what I’ve learned from the net and folks here there is supposed to be an equality between the spouses, significant others. etc. who participate in swinging.

 

(While yes I realize as indicated GB isn’t swinging) Just the same I think equal respect for the others feelings in this should nonetheless remain valid. And why shouldn’t it? Can anyone here tell my how this instance should change the respect level one SO should show the other?

 

Ege: As I quote Nymph an’ Satyr “You're damn right I control who my wife sleeps with. But the same can be said for her, she controls who I sleep with.” And for me I heartily agree with this. To me it seems like not only does Mogambo’s wife have total power over the “blocks” of these GBs as she calls them. But also that she has total power over Mogambo as well. While for this to me it seems he’s reduced to helpless onlooker while his wife is ridiculed and fucked repeatedly in front of him. Or even not in front of him. I would have to imagine the pain for him is still the same either way.

 

I mean where exactly is Mogambo’s end in this thing? What is he getting out of it aside from being made to feel he’s a wimp who is helpless to do anything about it? Either way read he’s made and unwilling cuckold as well. And this since he’s plain and simply not happy with this scene which he yet seems forced to tolerate nonetheless if he wants to keep his marriage.

 

Which is something I think he should tell her, that plain and simple whether or not she enjoys these GBs that he doesn’t like the accompanying humiliation that is forced on him through them. That plain and simple whether intentionally or unintentionally he doesn’t like being made a cuckold of. I mean bad enough if you’re a man and made a cuckold of by one or two other men. But come-on, A NEW DOZEN MEN EVERY MONTH FOR YEARS ON END? Please a little mercy if you would. Look Mogambo YOU’VE BEEN HASHING THIS OVER WITH HER FOR THREE FRIKKEN YEARS NOW. SORRY BUDDY BUT IF IT HASN’T GOTTEN BETTER BY NOW IT JUST ISN’T GOING TO. SO TAKE A HINT! I MEAN THREE FRIKKIN YEARS, ENOUGH ALREADY FOR CRISSAKE. So as for me it’s just the same as Nymph and Satyr in putting her to the curb. For me this woman if it has to be all or nothing, as I seem to understand it. Then she would come home from one of her GBs to find the locks changed on the doors and her clothes waiting for her in paper bags outside them. End of story and she can then %$## GB all she damn well wants to.

 

Ah a Big P. S. On the other hand sorry it’s at your expense but I thank you with all my heart for alerting me to the pitfalls of agreeing to let your wife participate in a gangbang. Because buddy when I get a S.O I can get along with that enjoys the idea of swinging this will be the first thing on the boundaries list. NO GANGBANGS, Right up there with no SEX WITH DOGS. Because from what I’ve learned here from you then elsewhere about dogs and women no single man can compete with either of them. That plain and simple once a woman samples either she’s lost to him forever.

 

That is unless he's willing to share her with a dog anyway. While if he does hope he's not expecting much of a response from her when it comes his turn.

[JnCC 24]

We went to one private gangbang party. My wife was raved by six single males... I was surprised to observe that my wife was enjoying tremendously hence I did not stop her from what she was doing. ... She then regularly visits (once a month) gangbang parties for last three years. During this gang bang she started enjoying anal sex, oral sex which she used to hate.... I wanted to test whether she is badly addicted to GB parties and suggested that let us be exclusive to each other. She reacted very adversely and said, I can’t dance all the time on your tune.

 

I am confused and would like input from experienced swingers.

I think that if you want to keep this woman, you ought to move closer to a Greyhound Bus Station. Or maybe a truck stop.

 

Otherwise, I'd be shopping for a new wife...

[TeamSoBe 36]

Even if most of this thread is complete fantasy it's still pretty hot.

[Merric 21]

Guys and Dolls I just had to add a Post script here ‘cause this thread has been playing in my head and it is driving me nuts.

 

Even though I know heart and soul monogamy is no way to go. I just the same have to admit there are things pointed out in this tread that makes me loose my faith in the lifestyle as well.

 

And yeah I gathered that GB isn’t swinging. I mean it’s rather obvious since it leaves a very left out and cuckolded guy on the sideline and that it involves only the woman. While swinging it seems to me is more of an equal partnership so GB doesn’t enter into the equation.

 

But I have to ask how in the hell does a relationship wind up in that sort of a mess? Is it Just bad judgment on the man’s part in giving his wife permission to do something like this or what? I mean for me GB strikes me as something only a single girl should be involved in. Not a married woman because to me I can see what could happen right away. And that’s exactly what did happen in this instance here.

 

Now for the most part all you folks seem to have very stable and happy relationships so where the hell does it go wrong exactly?

[bigman99 16]

My wife says that the guy told her that they will treat her good and that there will be around 30-32 guys at the most and she is nervous, but determined to show up, she doesn't want to chicken out, So can a woman fuck that many guys, is it possible? I heard about porn women doing it, but has any regular women tried that many?

[intuition897 2,179]

Are you actually going to take this guy's word for it? Is he seriously thinking he can vouch for 31 other horny men that he barely knows? I doubt it!

32 men means that your wife is going to need some reconstructive surgery when they get through with her. "They'll treat her good." Yeah...they'll treat her reeeeeal good. The thing they don't show on camera at those pornstar olympic gang-bang events is the crew of people running the paperwork on STD screening, the lawyers writing up the contracts that include such things as mandatory condom use, bouncers keeping the assholes in line, and probably a couple of fluffers making sure that most of them are 3-stroke wonders who are there for the "money shot" but not wearing the poor girl out. It's smoke and mirrors, man! Fantasy!

 

Who gives a shit if she 'chickens out'?? I'd prefer to keep my asshole intact, TYVM. Screw my pride! I'm not into gang-bangs to begin with, but even if I was, it only makes sense to SCREEN CAREFULLY and thin down the crowd to a few choice participants. I'm think 4 or 5 maximum. It'll still keep your wife more than occupied.

 

And you need to go with her, period. Is she your wife or not? Do you care about her safety or not? If you both really insist on going through with this scheme, there are no two ways about it: you need to go with her. If she doesn't agree to those rules, if there's something she's hiding or is ashamed of, then she shouldn't be doing it in the first damned place!

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Merric said:

Guys and Dolls I just had to add a Post script here ‘cause this thread has been playing in my head and it is driving me nuts.

 

Even though I know heart and soul monogamy is no way to go. I just the same have to admit there are things pointed out in this tread that makes me loose my faith in the lifestyle as well.

 

And yeah I gathered that GB isn’t swinging. I mean it’s rather obvious since it leaves a very left out and cuckolded guy on the sideline and that it involves only the woman. While swinging it seems to me is more of an equal partnership so GB doesn’t enter into the equation.

 

But I have to ask how in the hell does a relationship wind up in that sort of a mess? Is it Just bad judgment on the man’s part in giving his wife permission to do something like this or what? I mean for me GB strikes me as something only a single girl should be involved in. Not a married woman because to me I can see what could happen right away. And that’s exactly what did happen in this instance here.

 

Now for the most part all you folks seem to have very stable and happy relationships so where the hell does it go wrong exactly?

Wait. A few things bother me here. First, just because a woman wants more than one man at a time, that makes her husband is a cuckold? And, you're assuming that the husband isn't taking part in the gangbang, or getting any enjoyment out of the situation. What about just an MFM threesome? Is he a cuckold then? What about a FFM threesome where the women are straight? Is she dick-whipped for going along with her husband's wishes? I think the whole thing centers around what you are comfortable with, what turns you on and how much you want to see your spouse have pleasure. Something only "goes wrong" when one of the partners isn't happy about it, and I don't think it's "bad judgement" on anyone's part. Perhaps the bad judgement had nothing to do with the gangbang, but everything to do with their relationship.

 

In your case, perhaps it would be a "horrible mess" for your wife to do a gangbang. But please let other married couples decide what works for them.

[bigman99 16]

My wife assures me she is only going to to let the guys fuck her until it hurts too much to continue and then she will tell them she cant handle anymore and that she will give BJ'S ,even though they said they all wanted to fuck her ,she says she can convince them to take a BJ instead .She says he's going to go no matter what.

[intuition897 2,179]

She says he's going to go no matter what.

 

Honey...she just told you how much she thought of you right there. She just threw down the gauntlet, effectively saying, "I'm gonna fuck whoever I want, and there's nothing you can do about it." The only question is, what are you going to do about it?

 

You're not getting any respect from this woman. And she's not going to give you any until you dump her ass. Don't put up with this shit, man! If she's bound and bent on being putting pearls beneath pigs trotters, then let her do so...on her own time. Unless you really get off on the idea of being this woman's cuckold, you're going to need to respect yourself enough to leave this relationship. See the problem is, she's not just giving away her body to strangers; by completely disregarding the feelings of the one person she's supposed to care most about, she's giving away YOUR dignity to these men.

[LICouple4u 15]

I too see a BIG issue of complete and total disrespect for a partner's wishes here. Sends up major red flags with flames shooting off them for me.

 

As stated here rather often, swinging is for BOTH parties to enjoy. This gangbang thing is obviously only for her and she seems to not even want you involved. Her attitude (as the OP portrays it at least) seems to be that she's going to do this because she likes it whether the husband likes it or not. She seems resistant to do anything for the husband's pleasure (threesomes, another couple, etc). So much for marraige being a give and take relationship?

 

It just seems that the OP needs to look at what he really wants and if this is something that truly bothers him (especially since she doesn't want him there!) then he needs to take control and put a stop to it.

 

Just my completely humble opinion....

[bigman99 16]

She wants to try this ,so i'm going to let her try it ,she says she will only do what she can handle ,she says she probably cant do all but will do what she can ,so im willing to let her try.I am just wondering what is the most a woman can handle

[intuition897 2,179]

She wants to try this ,so i'm going to let her try it ,she says she will only do what she can handle ,she says she probably cant do all but will do what she can ,so im willing to let her try.I am just wondering what is the most a woman can handle

 

Well...good luck with that.

[pinquita 15]

Mogambo said:

“OK” she agreed and then we took break for six months. After that I realized that she proved what she meant. After six months I asked her if she still has desire for gang bang . She said yes. I then allowed her to participate in gang bang with the assumption that she will loose interest within year or two but my assumptions went wrong. She is still very much interested in continuing in her sex romp. I have not lost any respect for her gang bang but some how I feel like she should leave swinging. But from your opinion it seems that I should better leave it to her. I think i have become selfish in the process & creating hurdles in the pleasure of poor lady who has done so much sacrifice for my family.

You are allowing your wife to slip away. If she is addicted to gang bangs, and since you are a couple, and since you are so bothered by it, why not stopping it for good???? If you were just BF and GF, then, I would suggest splitting, but, since you are a couple, how do you expect to live like that? She has no respect whatsoever for you, all she cares about is the gang of guys.

 

You allowed her to go back, you are not a man,( in the sense that you have to protect your marriage) I think you can not control the situation, and, you have no self respect. If you think that a gang of guys will make your wife get closer to you, you are wrong, and, do you know why??? not really because of them, but because your wife has told you, she wants them, and she would rather have sex w them than w you.That is a red flag almost as high as the empire state building.

 

Swinging is not gang banging. If I were to go to Gang bangs of 5 or 6 girls and only myself....sooner or later my wife would end up in 7th place.

It made me sad to see how silly, (for respect to others) you appear to be. If you can not handle your wife, and if you can not handle your man( women), then, getting into swinging is a recipe for a divorce.

 

I understand your wife's desires, but, that is going too far, to go to a gang bang despite the fact that you do not approve???? You have a serious problem here, because, she does not respect you, and, you allowed for that to happen. If I allow my girl friend to try drugs, and she ends up an addict, I could not tell her later on, you are a dirty addict, because, I allowed her to do it. You failed to supervise her, like I would like my woman to supervise me in case I was to loose my control and start getting addicted to swinging...that is why you are a couple. To watch how she derails and destroys herself is terrible.

 

And if she just wont listen to you, after you allowing this to get completely out of control, then, assume the consequences and divorce, do yourself an act of dignity, do not remain in marriage w a woman that would rather go to bed w a pack of strangers, than w her husband, do not play the part of a clown.

 

But she allowed you to stop it, and you cowardly allowed her to reassume, I think, in reality, you enjoy being humiliated. That should be the title to your post, humiliation.

 

Sorry if I sound harsh, but, I can tell you it is all your fault. That is called management in the business world, and, couple communication in the marriage world.

[pinquita 15]

bigman99 said:

My wife says that the guy told her that they will treat her good and that there will be around 30-32 guys at the most and she is nervous, but determined to show up, she doesn't want to chicken out, So can a woman fuck that many guys, is it possible? I heard about porn women doing it, but has any regular women tried that many?

Are you demented???? Are you into self humiliation??? Or are you bent on seeing your wife die of a disease or do you want to prostitute her???

I read your posts, do you care at all about your wife??? Her safety??? Health??? Emotional state????

[bigman99 16]

Well the number is down to 20-24 now, some of the guys are going away for the weekend, so she feels she has a better chance of handling this many and they are going to be wearing condoms. I think she will be alright.

[TL31 15]

Ok I am sorry but you think she will be alright? 20-24 guys and they will be wearing condoms? To me that still sounds like danger danger run. How can anyone control that many guys? To me it sounds to iffy to leave up in the air. But that's just my 2 cents.

[bigman99 16]

I was just thinking if they wear condoms it is safer and if she's there giving them a good time they shouldn't get out of control ,should they? What would make them get out of control and what could happen?

[pinquita 15]

bigman99 said:

I was just thinking if they wear condoms it is safer and if she's there giving them a good time they shouldn't get out of control, should they? What would make them get out of control and what could happen?

What don't you seek help??? You seem to be a druggy, or a teen kid posing as an adult...it is laughable...hope you are ond drugs....otherwise.....hope you end up in a psychiatric ward before you injure somebody.

 

[intuition897 2,179]

What, are you waiting for someone to jump in here with a graphic description of a gang rape or something? Methinks that might be what you've been after all along BigMan. I just can't imagine anyone being dense enough to actually go through with something like this. You might as well be enthusing about the joys of driving off a cliff; it makes about as much sense to me.

[TL31 15]

I did not see if you had posted this before but is there going to be drinking there? Because if the is I can tell you right now you get that many guys drinking and mix in sex with only one woman and its just bad. Control is going to go out the window so fast it won't be funny. There is no way anyone can tell you what could happen. All anyone can do is give you maybe's. If you love your wife and you want to keep her safe I would really think long and hard about all the maybe's and rape is a big maybe I can see happening there. Talk to her and if she/you think she should still go through with it then go with her if things spiral out of control then you guys have an out.

 

I just hear a little voice screaming that the whole thing smacks danger.

[pinquita 15]

two4youinswva said:

I noticed you made an almost identical post over 2 years ago.

This seems to be very strange. I think this is all made up. Some people are like that...away from reality.

[sereneiders 263]

Not only the subject is being brought again... both stories aren't consistent, the way things evolved in both stories, the amount of people involved, even the fact of doing anal or oral isn't consistent.

 

I DON'T BUY THIS GUY'S STORY.

 

I believe there are people around who like to pretend to be immersed in certain sort of scenarios to get attention and perhaps (due the nature of the story) to feel humiliated by the other members comments. They need food to jack off, at the expenses of our time. It's disrespectful.

[pinquita 15]

I would ask the forum managers to delete this abhorrent post. This post gives us all a bad reputation. Swinging is not about prostituting a spouse, and treating her like trash. Much less, a place to seek cheap and sick kicks out of weird posts.

[bigman99 16]

pinquita said:

This seems to be very strange. I think this is all made up. The originator of the topic, and the guy that wants to put his wife w 3o guys in bed...I think are just looking for kicks...some people are like that...away from reality.

Another guy wanted my wife to fuck 30 guys, I thought she was doing 10-15 which I agreed to because it kind of turned me on. I don't know how many men 1 woman can handle, that's why I asked in the first place. Now it looks like these guys had one thing in mind and that's a wild party. Thanks for the enlightenment and sorry for the trouble.

[pinquita 15]

bigman99 said:

I caught my wife cheating on me about 2 years ago, so I told her to do a gangbang and we would forget about it...

This is a joke...or else a demented psycho. It is sad that grown up people find pleasure in posting trash like this, to get rewarded by the reading of the unsuspecting readers' responses.

 

I am not even worried for a potential victim here...there is none...this is the lowest and most immature case of lunatic.

[bigman99 16]

What's wrong with a guy wanting his wife to gangbang 10-15 guys if she thinks she can do it and keep it under control?

[intuition897 2,179]

bigman99 said:

What's wrong with a guy wanting his wife to gangbang 10-15 guys if she thinks she can do it and keep it under control?

Nothing, I guess. As long as she knows she can handle it and knows that it WILL be kept under control. What we are not seeing here is any evidence of commonsense precautions. SHE can't expect to keep a party under control; what is she 5'6", 120-150 lbs? What's the combined weight of the men? Plus, there's no husband present. Having the woman's partner present seems to me would be a stupidity-inhibiting factor. Instead, what they're going to see (probably because they want to see it) is a party girl who has no value for herself, whose husband obviously doesn't value her, and who has basically just thrown herself at them to do with what they want. You don't know any of these men! The likelihood of finding two good single men in one place who understand the lifestyle, are healthy, etc...is pretty damn slim! You can't really expect that there are magically 10-15 of them wandering onto the guest list on their own? You have to get involved in this. HAVE to. It doesn't sound like your wife wants to bother screening them; she just wants a big number. Is it the big number that turns her on? The more men at the party, the more desired she is? I'm sure she could get as much out of a much smaller group. As I suggested, about 4 or 5. This is far more manageable a group.

 

But what am I still posting here for? You want an opinion of whether or not I think a woman can realistically handle - herself - a group of 15-30 horny men?

 

NO.

 

I do not.

My unasked-for opinion, also, is that a gang-bang is the last thing the two of you should be thinking about; you guys have some problems in your relationship that are needing some 911 intervention.

[OttawaCuple 15]

This is what happens when people read the first few posts and then skip to the last page.

 

This thread was started 12-28-04 by Mogambo from Australia. It died out 12-30-04.

 

On 05-17-06, bigman99 from Halifax posted a posting about his wife & gangbanging & it's been active since then, primarily talking about bigman99's gangbang issues, with Mogambo replying every-so-often.

 

It IS a very confusing thread .... who's gangbang are we talking about, and could we possibly just stick to one man's gangbang issues at a time???!!!

[pinquita 15]

Please. Why is people still giving this moron the day of light??? Why would anybody reply to such trash?

 

Please, respect the ladies in our life, I do. This is ridiculous. This is not swinging, this is a demented man's fantasy...is this the kind of people we want in our lifestyle?

[Mogambo 16]

This thread was started by me couple of years back. Some respondants believed that it is made up story, some believed that i am asking for genuine help. Whatever perception you carry about my story, I am thankful to all who cared to read my post & offer their true feeling & honest opinion.

 

Well, eventually I managed to convince my wife to consult psychiatrics & she was diagnosed as sexual compulsion disorder & she was using sex as means of coping with stress as she is having very low stress tolerance threshold level. Further test revealed that she is a case of Borderline Personality Disorder. Since we were in swinging life style for a decade, her sexual deviancy & impulsive sexual behaviour was perceived as her fetish or suppressed fantacy. This perception was further compounded when I learnt that there are few woman, though in minority actually enjoy gang bangs.

 

Any way, when she realised that she has a problem, She co-operated with the treatment. She recovered from her addiction. I relocated to another city as she became quite ill famous for her gangbang activity.

 

So she no longer in gang bang business any more. In this case my initial intution that there is some thing wrong with her gang bang addiction proved

correct.

 

I hope this will clear confusion created by mixing of two different stories.

 

Once again thank you guys for all your replies.

[Merric 21]

And thank you Mogambo for bringing us up to date. It's much appreciated and I'm glad to hear things worked out for you. Also thanks for the mention there were two, separate gangbang stories here which I think may have gotten crossed together by some of the folks so it was misinterpreted by them as being one.

 

Again congrats on having gotten things worked out.

[pinquita 15]

It is not only Mogambo, but the other crazo Big Man that wants to use his wife as trash. So much disdain towards women. Incredible.