Hygiene - Butt Crack

kcdude · December 29, 2004

I know this isn't the most appealing topic, but what is the best way to remove "stains" and hair around the anal cavity?

I went down on a gal and she definitely needed to be touched up. She wasn't dirty (recently showered) and had scrubbed with soap and water but it was different. I mentioned it and she became a little defensive but I guess it didn't look as "spotless" as expected.

December 29, 2004

kcdude said:

I mentioned it and she became a little defensive ....

Gee, Ya think

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

dave110256 · December 29, 2004

You actually mentioned it???????????you've got bigger balls than I do.

Denver2some · December 30, 2004

For the hair touch-up, if waxing is too painful for her she could shave it or try one of those new mini-trimmers you see advertised on TV. As for the "stains" I am not sure if this would help, but perhaps a gentle exfoliating scrub? She might have to use it several times over a couple of weeks but perhaps it would slough off the skin that is stained.

That is, if she is still talking to you. She may be even more embarassed if you bring it up again. It might be safer to wait and see: she may take care of it on her own now that she knows its a concern.

Vespertine · December 30, 2004

I know this isn't the most appealing topic, but what is the best way to remove "stains" and hair around the anal cavity?

Whoa.....

Anal "stains"?

I've noticed some people have anuses that have a darker pigment than the rest of their derrieres. But anal stains? WTF??

Someone please explain this to me.

JustAskJulie · December 30, 2004

I've noticed some people have anuses that have a darker pigment than the rest of their derrieres. But anal stains? WTF??

Someone please explain this to me.

I was wondering about that too. If her anus is just darker than you expect it to be there's nothing you can do. If her butthole is hairier than you like then you probably just need to get over it and not attempt to toss her salad anymore if you don't like it. Some folks may be lucky enough to not have hair there but I'm not one of them and the few times I have attempted shaving/waxing or other hair removal there it wasn't worth it for the day(s) that it grew back and made it uncomfortable to sit, stand, or do much of anything.

If it's a general hygiene issue then why not just get in the shower with her next time and scrub a dub dub her to your hearts content. If you can't get her up to par then chances are no one can.

JnCC · December 30, 2004

I suppose there are some people who, if they got down on all fours and ate out of the dog's dish, would say...

"YUCK! This tastes like DOG FOOD!"

...and wonder why the rest of the world were shaking their head and sighing...

warkman · December 30, 2004

JnCC said:

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If you still don't succeed, give up! There's no use being a damn fool about it"
W.C Fields

I like that one. Here's one from Curly Howard:

If at first you don't succeed,keep on suckin' till you do succeed. (He was holding a half a grapefruit at the time, but the connotations on this forum, particularly coming from a woman are smile worthy )

OhioCouple · December 31, 2004

I know this isn't the most appealing topic, but what is the best way to remove "stains" and hair around the anal cavity?

I went down on a gal and she definitely needed to be touched up. She wasn't dirty (recently showered) and had scrubbed with soap and water but it was different. I mentioned it and she became a little defensive but I guess it didn't look as "spotless" as expected.

You express 'she wasn't dirty', so I'll take that to mean that you did not encounter any unpleasant scents, just a difference in appearance. Everyone's body is different and you most likely encountered someone's who was different than what you are used to being exposed to.

As a bi-sexual female, I've been close enough to view my share of different genital areas, and I can't say that I've ever seen two the same. If she was freshly showered, then I can understand why she might have been offended by your comments, as she may have thought that your were questioning her cleanliness, when in fact you were questioning why her genitals were not what you are accustomed to. If this is the case....I suggest a heart felt apology and admission would be in order, rather than trying to 'clean her up' to fit in with your expectations. As for the 'stain'...I've seen the anal areas of both men and women anywhere from snow white, to pink, to dark in color. All were nice and clean.

As Julie said:

If her anus is just darker than you expect it to be there's nothing you can do. If her butthole is hairier than you like then you probably just need to get over it and not attempt to toss her salad anymore if you don't like it. Some folks may be lucky enough to not have hair there but I'm not one of them and the few times I have attempted shaving/waxing or other hair removal there it wasn't worth it for the day(s) that it grew back and made it uncomfortable to sit, stand, or do much of anything.

I also fall along the lines of being overly blessed with hair and quickly growing, at that, which makes for a royal pain in the A$$ if it isn't attended to a couple of times daily. The coarsness of the re-growth is a problem for me. What I can and do, do...is to keep it neatly trimmed.

I hope that helps some.

northindycpl · December 31, 2004

I gotta agree with Ves and Julie... I know the skin on that part of my body is a tad more dark in the winter when I am not tanned. When I am tan it just blends with the rest of me. I can tell you that I keep that area pretty darn clean.. and I would expect that if I were going to do something like that, I would expect it to look like everyone elses ass, including my own.

Why don''t you get a hand mirror and check out your ownself first, then try different remedies on your self. maybe you can find one that you could recommend to her.

Spoomonkey · December 31, 2004

You said what???

Jesus Christ...

Spoomonkey

PS - I would like to add that "Hygiene - Butt Crack" is the best topic title we've had in a very long time...

LikeMinds321 · December 31, 2004

Spoomonkey said:

PS - I would like to add that "Hygiene - Butt Crack" is the best topic title we've had in a very long time...

I agree!!

I laugh my hairy dark-pigmented ass off every time I read the title of this thread!

DBL D · December 31, 2004

And I thought this would be a thread on amourous plumbers...

Male D

Absolutely hilarious and I am glad you survived.

intuition897 · December 31, 2004

omg. Mr. Tactful! I can't believe you actually mentioned it to her. I don't know, but I think people's butts are often just pigmented that way. You know, how some people have lips that are redder than others, or have darker circles under their eyes. You know, some primates actually think a brightly coloured butt is actually a turn-on!

There's naught to be done for it, I'm afraid, other than laser surgery. And as far as unwanted hair goes, I have one word: Nair.

curiousagain · December 31, 2004

I know this isn't the most appealing topic, but what is the best way to remove "stains" and hair around the anal cavity?

I went down on a gal and she definitely needed to be touched up. She wasn't dirty (recently showered) and had scrubbed with soap and water but it was different. I mentioned it and she became a little defensive but I guess it didn't look as "spotless" as expected.

If those were actual "stains" "touching up" wouldn't begin to be enough. It was probably just pigmentation. You actually mentioned it??? I am probably going to regret this, but how exactly did you "mention it"??? Curious minds want to know. Did she become defensive as in verbal or violent??? Tell us all the details.

curiousagain · December 31, 2004

OK, OK, enough jokes, it's no secret what I do in what field. I have seen probably thousands of genitals. Most people have no difference in the pigmentation of their genital and/or anal area. But, some do. Now, some people have scarring from past yeast/other infections and once you have seen it, it's easy to tell the difference. There is a very clear deliniation between the affected and unaffected areas. Also, eczema and Psorriasis can cause this and can be found in the gluteal cleft/anal/genital area. The person might not be suffering an outbreak at that time, but has the hyperpigmentation left from previous outbreaks. If you didn't smell anything, she had no active infection/outbreak and it wasn't stain. The skin doesn't stain. It constantly sluffs off and is replenished by new layers. If it was colored from feces, the smell would have driven you back because the fecal material would have still been present.

Vespertine · December 31, 2004

I am probably going to regret this, but how exactly did you "mention it"??? Curious minds want to know. Did she become defensive as in verbal or violent??? Tell us all the details.

Dito

I'd like to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Oh please, pretty, pretty please....tell us how you approached this topic with her.

intuition897 · December 31, 2004

Great answer curiousagain. You learn something new every day.

good times · December 31, 2004

Vespertine said:

I'd like to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Not me, I'd be afraid of becoming part of the collateral damage.

On the other hand, I bet it would be something to see...from a safe distance.

Atilla · January 27, 2005

ITA with everyone else in that some people's skin has different pigments. I'm a little darker down there too and I'm a very clean person, it doesn't go away.

I also use on of those little trimmers that you see on TV and I tell you they work awesome. No nicks and no threats of nicks either. That or a Brazialian bikini wax would need to be done, no razors for me in that area

adventureUS2 · January 28, 2005

"Anal Stain" I think that is what I called my younger brother in my childhood.

Oh yeh I hear club soda is great for stain removal

January 30, 2005

Whoa.....

Anal "stains"?

I've noticed some people have anuses that have a darker pigment than the rest of their derrieres. But anal stains? WTF??

Someone please explain this to me.

OMG, I nearly wet my pants when i read this one!!!! I have to say that my rear is VERY clean, I wipe like six or seven times and use wet wipes ... Just to make sure I got it all!! I know that sounds "anal retentive" ...LOL... no pun intended, but my skin is just darker around the hole. You must have brass balls buddy!

SussexCouple · January 30, 2005

This is indeed just pigmentation but people are becoming more aware of it as porn leaves very little to the imagination these days.

The difference with porn starts is its their job and just as they are having their boobs done, hair removed by laser, lips injected with cologen, labia reduced to look 'neater' (half the time looks just plain weird to me) they are also having 'anal bleaching' which is why you now see that winky pink hole more often on film. Its not usually pink in my experience.

IMHO porn starts are like the fast food of sex - great on occasion but you couldn't live on it!

Ditto to everyone else - I can't believe you were so insensitive!!!

beaverz · January 30, 2005

First I would like to apologize to those of you that are reliving this thread.

Quote

I went down on a gal and she definitely needed to be touched up. She wasn't dirty (recently showered) and had scrubbed with soap and water but it was different. I mentioned it and she became a little defensive but I guess it didn't look as "spotless" as expected.

Like others here, I also have wondered how in the world you would be able to bring this subject up.

Here’s how I keep visualizing how the subject might have been brought up.

(Warning: Very Graphic – NC35 rating) You would be better off not reading.

Gal: Ooooh that feels soooo good.

Gal: Why are you stopping?

Kcdude: Hum, did you take a shower.

Gal: YES, WHY!

Kcdude: Did you scrub you ass with soap?

Gal: YES, WHY!!

Kcdude: Don’t take this the wrong way. You seem to have stains around your pucker hole.

Gal: WHAAAAT!!!!

KCdude: It has to be some type of stains, because I don’t taste or smell any shit.

Gal: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Kcdude: You have stains and hair around your sphincter.

Kcdude: Do you want me to get a mirror, so you can see for yourself. Look at my crack I don’t have any dark areas around my hole.

Gal: GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF MY FACE!!!

Kcdude: You don’t need to get dressed. Come on, don’t be so sensitive.

Kcdude: I’m sure there’s something that can remove the stains and hair.

Kcdude: My mom used Ajax to get rust stains out of an old sink. I also seen a commercial once about a product called Kaboom, it would remove stains from grout.

Kcdude: Hey, I know, I’ll check on Swingersboard.com, I bet they have run into this problem and will know how to remove anal stains.

Gal: I’M OUT OF HERE. DON’T EVER CALL ME!!!

I don’t think there's a tactful way to bring this up. I just can’t figure out why anyone would ever bring this issue up with someone they are intimate with.

Spoomonkey · January 31, 2005

beaverz said:

Gal: GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF MY FACE!!!

Freaking hilarious!

freakykitten · February 1, 2005

smileytattoo said:

OMG, I nearly wet my pants when i read this one!!!! I have to say that my rear is VERY clean, I wipe like six or seven times and use wet wipes ... Just to make sure I got it all!! I know that sounds "anal retentive" ...LOL... no pun intended, but my skin is just darker around the hole. You must have brass balls buddy!

LMAO you must go though a shitload of toilet paper (no pun intended)

February 1, 2005

Actually yes we do!! Hubby gets it in big industrial cases from his work!

midnight hour · February 3, 2005

labia reduced to look 'neater'

aahh I knew something was up...they just all looked too cookie cutter anymore thanks~mystery solved!

musikman · February 3, 2005

Oh my God! I'm still trying to get up off the floor and type. This has to be about the funniest thread I've ever read on any forum on any subject so far. Unfortunately, I don't have any useful suggestions for the thread starter. Dark glasses, perhaps? All I can say is you've got a lot more balls than me to even bring up the subject to the person directly, let alone start a whole thread on it. I cringe thinking about the looks she'd be giving me from then on. Might have to change swing clubs for a while. Good one!

SussexCouple · February 3, 2005

Really it's true!!

Labiaplasty is the official term (type it in to google and see what you get!)

And

Anal bleaching I think is the laymans term as no plastic surgery sites mention it by this name but it really isn't a myth. I saw it on another programme called "cosmetic surgery live" on Channel 5.

Maybe the original poster can forward on links to the poor girl in question

After all he has approached the subject - the least he can do now is offer a solution - ha ha

Mr. Mac · February 3, 2005

Yep. had a very hard time with making love to JennyMac last night...we just could not stop laughing

amBIdextrous · March 25, 2005

This just breaks me up.

caveman · March 31, 2005

If those were actual "stains" "touching up" wouldn't begin to be enough. It was probably just pigmentation. You actually mentioned it??? I am probably going to regret this, but how exactly did you "mention it"??? Curious minds want to know. Did she become defensive as in verbal or violent??? Tell us all the details.

yes,yes, do tell

Sweet_Candy · May 5, 2005

beaverz said:

Kcdude: I’m sure there’s something that can remove the stains and hair.

Kcdude: My mom used Ajax to get rust stains out of an old sink. I also seen a commercial once about a product called Kaboom, it would remove stains from grout.

We laughed so hard, and the missus cried at the 'Kaboom' part.

Missus has dark features with creamy pale skin, and dark pigmentation in that area. Often thought it might be scarring from wiping so hard and so much. More worried about the appearance of the pucker than the color. No grapes, please.

twoferfun69 · May 5, 2005

Ummmmm..... ya know, I have mentioned quite a few things to Mrs. Twofer, and even quite a few more to my long gone ex, and I am known facetiously at my office as Mr. Tactful. But Damn!!!

Bottom line is, we have been numbed to what these perky perfectionistic porn stars are showing us. It just "cracks" me up to read this stuff sometimes.

Have we seen the response? Did he tell us HOW exactly he managed to tell her, and still have balls, and hands to type with?

BiDrywallChick · May 5, 2005

I' sorry for keeping this thread alive but i about peed my pants reading it. OMG lol even as blunt as I am, I doubt I would even say something like that to someone.

Lotolaffs · May 5, 2005

Anal staining? I can foresee a new cosmetic line for Maybelline. Maybe they can get Rula Lenska to be a spokeswomen: RULA: "Don't hate me because I have anal stains!" /// I just hope they don't do testing on monkey butts. That's so inhumane!

lovecatspurrv · May 6, 2005

mr purrv here....

what my wife would do to me if i was such a baboon....

head bang

flamethrow

lucky for me, i luv that arse, anyhow it looks!!!

sugarcheeks44 · June 22, 2005

BiDrywallChick said:

I'm sorry for keeping this thread alive but i about peed my pants reading it. OMG lol even as blunt as I am, I doubt I would even say something like that to someone.

Yeah, I'm sorry too...but, some threads just become classics and beg to stay alive.

OMG! I have laughed myself nearly to tears here...funny people in here.

diotima · July 5, 2005

hmm... so not everyone actually has hair around/behind their anus?

see, when mine first grew there I freaked out, but mom said it was normal.

So, people who shave (bald or otherwise) do you not shave the butt crack? If you don't, where do you draw the line???

jennandjamesinm · July 5, 2005

You know - I thought I read every thread on this board, but I missed this one. I needed this this morning. Thanks ya'll!!!

RoyAnn · September 9, 2005

Two suggestions: Pressure washer, or for the industrial strength stain...sand blaster!

My77038 · September 12, 2005

Just when i thought I heard of everything..... I have never heard of anal stains. Ya learn something new everyday... I love it! Me being chocolate skinned black have never had an issue with anal stains. Nor have I ever seen an.. humph... Very interesting to say the least....

jets69 · September 22, 2005

Hey kcdude, what does your hairy old ass look like, the freakin Mona Lisa? Not very tactful if you ask me.

videocouple75 · September 26, 2005

While I agree that nothing should have been said, there is something that can be done.

There is a new procedure done called "Anal Bleaching". It is quite popular now in the porn industry and is fairly inexpensive to have done. You can ask your local plastic surgeons office for this service.

Mich149 · September 28, 2005

OMFG!!!! I just found this thread and read it the whole way through. THAT was enough to keep me laughing out loud, but that article!!! It took me 5 minutes just to get past the stinking (lol) title!! Kcdude - your tact bank may be bankrupt, but I do love ya for making my night. lol

ohswingcpl · October 7, 2005

OMG this is my first post to this site and what a thread to run across. Dude haven't you heard the term "brown eye"?

wolfnblu · February 2, 2006

I wonder if KCdude stuck around long enough to even read the responses to his post. ROFL!!! One post over a year ago, and he's outta here! LOL

sexyshelby · February 2, 2006

Wow...way too funny. Oh my...

sushigirl66 · February 3, 2006

i laughed...so hard that i cried...and i read it all (sans offshoot articles)!

omfg, what were you thinking?! well, now you know, kcdude...hope you've learned something.

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