Hygiene - Butt Crack

[VanHlebar 187]

This just made my day The Mrs and I have been have a very rough week with our personal lives and crap at my office. I saw this title this morning and started reading the post and I laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes. This will keep me chuckling all day long now

[HappyPeople 17]

This thread makes me want to go look at my butt with a mirror.

[Vespertine 31]

This thread makes me want to go look at my butt with a mirror.

I already have since reading this thread.

 

Just to be sure.

[Miss_Piggy 98]

hahaha... this is just the thread that won't die, eh?

 

I'm glad it gets brought back up every once in a while... still good for a laugh.

[HappyPeople 17]

I am relieved to report that I have no such anal staining.

 

I am curious what would cause a stain though, maybe Taco Bell?

[sereneiders 263]

This is the funniest thread ever. I hope kcdude didn't told her he made public his comment, because if he did, I doubt he's still alive to read the answers.

 

Moreover, now a new poll seems to be imposed, regarding how everyone's ass looks like... the options could be:

 

1) a tinny dot

2) a tinny dot with hair

3) a tinny dot with hair AND stains

4) a star

5) a star with hair

6) a star with hair AND stains

7) a muffin

8) a muffin with hair

9) a muffin with hair AND stains

10) a donnut

11) a donnut with hair

12) a donnut with hair AND stains

13) too ugly to describe it

14) I took the mirror and freaked out at the sight

 

What do you think?

[iowancouple96 15]

It cracks (mind the pun) me up that this thread keeps poppin back up! This honestly has to be the funniest forum thread I've ever read.

[MarriedNY'ers69 19]

Haha me and my husband are cracking up over here. I have been brought to tears to a couple replies already haha. What a jack ass. Haha!

[lovedoctor 15]

I love this thread too. Especially since today I got to learn a new skill with the laser. No more hair around the poop shoot! A little pain a few times and it's gone! A beautiful sight!

[sereneiders 263]

lovedoctor said:

I love this thread too. Especially since today I got to learn a new skill with the laser. No more hair around the poop shoot! A little pain a few times and it's gone! A beautiful sight!

You learn a new skill with the laser? What were you doing? I still clean mine with toilet paper! A laser? OUCH!

[lovedoctor 15]

sereneiders said:

You learn a new skill with the laser? What were you doing? I still clean mine with toilet paper! A laser? OUCH!

LOL, it's ok - I'm a doctor. And I'm not cleaning it, I'm getting rid of hair!

[Jeok 3]

I just read this hilarious thread & haven't stopped laughing. I enjoyed all the replies almost as much as the initial thread; especially beaverz & sereneiders. Bravo. Where is the author? They are going to make this an episode on some sit-com, too bad Seinfeld isn't on. It would have made a grand episode, or Sex In The City,too. My imagination runs amok, trying to visualize. Talk about COMMUNICATING, I would really like to know if they're still together. Need feedback, no pun intended Thought I'd bring it back topside for more members to view, laugh & enjoy. It's a classic.

[MoonLightKiss 28]

omgomgomgomgomg I have never in my life laughed as hard as i have reading this...I am a mother, wife, and military brat...I thought I had heard it all...mainly because you hear alot of things you really don't want to tending bar at the NCO with a bunch of army men drinking. I was sooooo wrong. After reading this I will never think I have heard it all again. I still got tears rolling down my face thank you so much kcdude...I was having a bad day...but its all in perspective now

[SEXYRICAN 15]

There is something called Anal Bleaching for those whose anus are hyperpigmented. You can get a treatment with your local plastic surgeon or maybe in a aesthetic boutique. For a self treatment you can use a bleaching cream that contains hydroquinone 1% or 2% can be obtained over the counter at your local drug store. The OTC creams have a weaker concentration than the ones applied by a physician. Always remember that those creams are for short term use only, and can cause skin irritation, fistulas, cancer and some other problems.

 

The color of the anus is determined by many factors such as color of the skin, the body's production of melanocytes, bowel movement patterns and diet. Ohh, also the bile salts present in the feces are also responsible for the staining.

 

To take care of the anal hairs waxing is one choice, or try Magic Powder. Magic is sold in the guy's grooming section at your local drug store. We have used it to shave all over down there. Follow the instructions, but don't let is sit for too long 5 to 10 min will do. It's way gentler than Nair.

I hope that helped.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Bwwwwahhhhhh! I'd forgotten about this thread....

 

It's BAAAAAACK!

 

And this time, with even more information about the color of the skin around my anus and how it got to be that color

[good times 991]

And this time, with even more information about the color of the skin around my anus and how it got to be that color

 

Pepper

Damn Pepper, I thought your anus just had a good tan.

[sereneiders 263]

I am thinking of developing a set for the "proper anus color". It'd be a box with a bottle of clear pink nail paint, and a puncher to make the hole in the middle once the nail paint dries off. I'd rather call it "kit for the proper anus color and tightening it back like a doll's ass".

 

Any takers? I can deliver the box by mail.

[Normalcouple 15]

I think that you are all pretty rude and unkind

 

I have seen pics of people with areas where their skin is in constant contact a darker colour than the rest of their skin. and some times it looks like a tea stain.

 

Perhaps if you were to look at it from his point of view as in some of the pics I have seen the colour look like a dirty stain and can look very off-putting.

 

I suspect KCdude has misinterpreted this and made a wrong assumption.

 

In his ignorance he then asked what seemed to him to be a reasonable question particularly if he cared for this person he may have been trying to help in his own clumsy way.

 

I agree that it was not the best way to help but at least he was trying to help which is more than MOST of you did.

 

You collective reaction was heartless and I would be amazed if he again contacted you clique.

 

[Normalcouple 15]

Go back and read it

 

You collectively laughed in his face

[intuition897 2,179]

Go back and read it

 

You collectively laughed in his face

 

Never thought I'd post on this thread again, but anyway...

 

Yeah, I re-read it. It's still funny as hell. And if the OP doesn't go back and re-read what he wrote (seeing it from our perspective) and ALSO think it's funny, then the OP needs to lighten up a bit. No pun intended. We laugh because it's funny, not because we're mean or trying to disinclude anyone from our fabulous little clique, here. The more the merrier I say.

 

I sincerely hope that we didn't hurt his feelings with our responses. You don't really think we'd go on and on for 5 whole pages just to torment the guy, do you? No, this thread took on a life of its own...because the original post just makes you wonder how that conversation went? And we wonder whether he is now eating his food through a straw? If we got onto him about anything, it was his callousness. I just can't imagine how it would ever be okay to tell someone that they needed to do something about their "anal stains". It would've been understandable if she came back with a quip about him needing to do something about the size of his dick. You're telling someone, in either case, that they need to change a relatively unchangeable part of their body in order to be acceptable. I'd say just go and find a new partner.

 

C'mon Normal, it's not mean-spiritedness...it's just funny.

[Tybee Swing 286]

Everybody is checking their own ass after this thread!

[TwoLittleBirds 23]

I went down on a gal and she definitely needed to be touched up. I mentioned it and she became a little defensive

 

Really. I'd like to have a transcript of that conversation. I'd especially like to know what phrases she used to make you realize she was "a little defensive." That night must have seen some swell pillow talk.

 

Him: "By the way, Delores..."

 

OR

 

Her: "That was nice."

Him: "I agree. Well, except for your lack of anal stain hygiene."

 

 

I'm thinking some of the swingers here could fund this board for years by developing a new product. I'm not sure exactly what the ingrediants would be, but there would be bleach. And a small scrub brush.

[charms123 52]

Try a piece of saran wrap or any of the wrap you can get in your local grocery store. Just dont get that new kind that sticks to everything. That is a bitch (yea we tried it, that's all that was available.)

 

You actually told her her ass was stinky? OMG!

[Amanda69 24]

It is an ass they expected poi-pouri maybe??!!

[rudrjunk 28]

Hey if it stinks it stinks. You gotta say what you gotta say. If it stinks, then maybe something needs to be done about it.

 

This is one of the funniest threads I've read. Just can't stop grinning in office and co-workers are wondering what's going on...LOL

[havefuninsun 122]

Frankly, I don't really care about what was said in any of this discussion -- Just the thread name cracks me up!

 

Thanks for the laugh!

[personal416 71]

My apologies for resurrecting a thread that's this old, humourous topic notwithstanding, but this response had me laughing uncontrollably for several minutes..... my gut hurts now!!

 

First I would like to apologize to those of you that are reliving this thread.

 

 

 

Like others here, I also have wondered how in the world you would be able to bring this subject up.

 

Here’s how I keep visualizing how the subject might have been brought up.

 

(Warning: Very Graphic – NC35 rating) You would be better off not reading.

 

Gal: Ooooh that feels soooo good.

Gal: Why are you stopping?

Kcdude: Hum, did you take a shower. soapbox

Gal: YES, WHY!

Kcdude: Did you scrub you ass with soap? soapbox

Gal: YES, WHY!!

Kcdude: Don’t take this the wrong way. You seem to have stains around your pucker hole.

Gal: WHAAAAT!!!!

KCdude: It has to be some type of stains, because I don’t taste or smell any shit.

Gal: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Kcdude: You have stains and hair around your spinkter.

Kcdude: Do you want me to get a mirror, so you can see for yourself. Look at my crack I don’t have any dark areas around my hole.

Gal: GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF MY FACE!!!

Kcdude: You don’t need to get dressed. Come on, don’t be so sensitive.

Kcdude: I’m sure there’s something that can remove the stains and hair.

Kcdude: My mom used Ajax to get rust stains out of an old sink. I also seen a commercial once about a product called Kaboom, it would remove stains from grout.

Kcdude: Hey, I know, I’ll check on Swingersboard.com, I bet they have run into this problem and will know how to remove anal stains.

Gal: I’M OUT OF HERE. DON’T EVER CALL ME!!!

 

I don’t think there's a tactful way to bring this up. I just can’t figure out why anyone would ever bring this issue up with someone they are intimate with.

[it'sso 198]

I hear you on that.

 

I used to date a pretty gal who was a stripper and she didn't have any coloration around her pucker place. She told me that they had something that they sprayed around it that concealed it, but I don't recall just what it may have been.

[4Beauty2C 17]

I would have shut my mouth and enjoyed the night. It is not like you are obligated to see her again anyway.

[Suncouple 32]

[avid 134]

Oh, I just read this whole damn thread again!

 

It's still as funny as the first time...

 

You have the comedians with their snappy one-liners...

 

Then there are the helpful people with their "anal bleaching" solutions...

 

But the funniest of all are the indignant posters who defend the original poster, who has to be the most stunned person ever!

[ShagUsThx 15]

WOW My "cheeks" hurt after reading this thread, "but" Im left to wonder if kcdude was for real or just a creative thread starter? Hopefully his ego is not developing a callas.

[jdavisauto 73]

This is indeed a funny one. I can just see people taking mirrors bending over and checking out their hairy or not so hairy bun holes. But if you want to lighten things up a little try washing the outer rings of anus with hydrogen peroxide. This will cause the dark rings to fade away and as long as you don't pour the stuff up the hershey highway there should be no problems.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

jdavisauto said:

This is indeed a funny one. I can just see people taking mirrors bending over and checking out their hairy or not so hairy bun holes. But if you want to lighten things up a little try washing the outer rings of anus with hydrogen peroxide. This will cause the dark rings to fade away and as long as you don't pour the stuff up the hershey highway there should be no problems.

 

All I can see is the peroxide being poured over the ass and it starts bubbling and foaming....

[Malachista 170]

I had a guy once who made a comment that I may not be clean enough for his liking as we were in the tube... and there he was wondering why he never got another chance to fondle my ass

 

Also:

I'm rather worried that there are people who are doing anal bleach or vulva surgery just so guys have not to get used that they may encounter something different in real life then they do in porn... no wonder many younger guys still think that a a woman's greatest pleasure is to do nothing else then suck cock for an hour and in the spunk lands in her face/mouth she will have an orgasm.....

[dnmnms 55]

OMG...As if we didn't have enough things to worry about. Do my boobs fall in my armpit when I lay down (better not), does my tummy jiggle in this position... Now add another...Hell I will be going to grab a mirror in a few minutes...

 

[tangyspecial 31]

I can't believe I just now found this thread after lurking for years!

 

BEST THREAD EVER!!!

[MarriedNY'ers69 19]

Oh man this thread still comes up in conversation with me and my husband. We just had a laugh about it the other night. LMAO Definitly one of the funniest threads I have ever read!

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Not so much a "stain". Probably more like where the skin is rubbing together and discolors the area.

[Goingood 48]

When going down on a lady, I usually make it a point to stop at the "twitter".

 

Finding an overly attractive anus is just about as rare as finding one that would be considered "sweet smelling".

[Big Rock 173]

I too, just discovered this thread, and have laughed about it for about an hour!! So have the girls!! You know, I've been with a lot of Ladies, but it has never occurred to me to do an asshole check on them, let alone comment on it, so I had both of my wives bend over and did a spot check. Bets' pucker is definitely pinker than Janie's, no doubt about it. Bets' also has more hair around it than Janie's does. So where does that leave me? Both taste and smell really good, and both are really tight on my dick (after extensive research) so I really can't say that I'm all that concerned about it. According to the original OP, I seem to be stuck with women who have substandard poopers.

[shy_couple 459]

When we see the discoloration in the obligatory ass shot on SLS, we call it "rusty crack" Not very appetizing but seems to be a pigment thing. For whatever reason, we notice it on bigger girls. Don't know just an observation.

 

A far as hair, just need a razor or wax.

[tattooed2some07 15]

I dunno about "staining" (ew) but a little vaseline every now and then helps keep the pink tone to things....lol

[BiloxiCouple 695]

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Because it was time to revive this thread?

 

I almost want to do a top 10 list of favorite responses, but I would have to leave out too many!

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Why not? I saw the picture and this is first thing I thought of.