Single men or cheaters?

[TwaKanPlay 15]

We can do the hoocie/ pookie and get all turned around. We each have our reasons for our choices. I have been both the cheater (once) and the cheated on (once that I know of) both are very painful places to be. With the exception of a selfish few most cheaters do so because they are not getting thier needs met at home 1) they may not really know what to do 2) my reason is they try only to be laughed at by spouse and cheat out of pain and yes they ugly revenge (who's laughing now ass hole). I can say what comes around goes around (OUch)

 

We don't play with cheating folks. We have had a couple of responses from couples who were married but not to each other. We say thanks but no thanks. I'd like to go all moral on you all (yawn) but for us it a matter of safty, should the unthinkable happen. Who the thier right mind wants to go through all the emotional ups and downs to be open and honest with YOUR spouse only to be KILLED by some one else's?

 

We do our best time "filter" out the cheaters, from the "it's ok to play aloner buy using this simple,plentful, no brainer method we talk to people. If a woman says it is okay with her spouse she play alone well she shouldn't mind if we ask her hunband personally ( Female partner elected for that duty) Even if it is a one night stander you have to cover topic like birth control, protection, names are nice to,,, why not tackle this topic also.

[Dr Jekyll 15]

Spouses know when their mates are cheating

More often than not cheating goes on for a long time before the spouse realise it. During this time they often have no clue...

 

But as to why people cheat, I think this sums it up perfectly...

With the exception of a selfish few most cheaters do so because they are not getting thier needs met at home

There is one simple rule that makes or breaks relationships... You have to satisfy your partner's basic needs or they will become infatuated with someone who does. Nothing works SO well against a relationship than witholding from fulfilling your partner's needs. Whether or not it is on purpose is irrelevant, the end effect is the same...

 

Am I saying it's ok to cheat? Not a chance, like jcbcouple said, YOU are the only one who can change your life. And if you're unhappy you can do something about it AND go about it in the right way.

 

But sadly people don't realise they're unhappy because it's the way it's always been, or it slowly became that way. Then one day someone steps into their lives and fills that one little shortcoming in their significant other (SO) and they become god's gift. Not because they WANT to cheat, but because they don't realise that without their SO this person's appeal will fall flat. But meeting that one basic need overshadows ALL the other basic needs being met by their SO.

 

And so it starts, and there is always 3 sides to a story: his, hers and the truth...

 

I firmly believe many of the serial cheaters out there started out as one time affairs. Many of those saying: "I still love them", really think they do. In general people do not like hurting others, my wife still has emotional scars from her affair. Not because it didn't work out, but because she didn't expect herself to stoop to that level where she'd have an affair.

 

This has become an essay, not a post, but I think you get my message... As for if swingers should play with cheaters? Do whatever you feel comfortable with, I wouldn't, but I'm not judging.

[ins8bl1 15]

The worse thing is that those that are able to play on their own get labeled as a cheater. I have always had the option to play on my own but it is too hard to try to convince others that my wife says itis alright. I feel like I need a letter form my mother. So I choose, for the most part, to not play as a single.

 

That is how my wife and I initially got into the lifestyle. I was allowed to play on my own, and it caused some issues. Hence the idea of swinging came into play, and while we still have issues about the person I was allowed to play with alone, we have no issues with swinging. She gave me permission and was trying to force herself to work through it, but I still believe it was more about the person (and time spent with said person) than the fact I played alone. I believe I am still allowed to play alone if the opportunity arises, (she will correct me if I am mistaken, right LadyHawke?)just because my libido is so much more dominant than hers, but I have only been playing couples for a while because it is easier on her I think.

[Guest stangstud36]

Not all guys are cheaters. I am a single guy who is in the lifestyle.