What are your rules or limits?

[JustMe. 15]

Tell us what are the swinging limits that you have established with your lovely mate...

[TNT 1,155]

Could you elaborate a little more with your question?

 

I'm not real sure what your asking as there are no limits between Ted and I.

 

Teresa

[JustMe. 15]

Ok...sorry...

 

When I say limits., I mean the rules that you and your partner had established (as no play alone, play only with males or females.... ). The rules that you and your partner had to play or to go to a club or resort.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Ours are:

 

- We play together

- We don't go for anything painful

- Condoms for intercourse, unless we know and trust you really, really well

- Bathroom stuff belongs there and not in the bedroom

- No emotional entanglements

- No cheaters (yes, you will need a note from your wife. )

 

That's about it.

 

This question comes up a lot. Here are some other threads:

 

Is there anything off limits with others that you only do with your partner?

Setting Limits for sexual encounter.

What is off limits to you?

[TNT 1,155]

Yep, that helps out a bunch

 

Our main rule is we only play together...however, recently we have amended this rule but only the two of us understand the amendment so I won't get into it as it would make no sense to anyone else.

 

Condoms (unless we are really comfortable with the people we are playing with) and both of us have total veto power, no questions asked.

 

Basically that's it.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

TNT said:

Our main rule is we only play together...however, recently we have amended this rule but only the two of us understand the amendment so I won't get into it as it would make no sense to anyone else.

Is that one of those "shipwrecked alone on an island and there's this REALLY cute couple" deals?

 

Ours are the same as Brad & Janet, with the addition we don't do penetration with the other couple, Except for one couple with play with. Penetration is allowed with them.

 

Funny how these limits somehow get amendments and exceptions huh?

[ALilOEverything 901]

Most of our rules are flexible with the right couple.

 

Generally we always use condoms, play together, same room but we've ammended all of those as we see fit for the situation. We've never felt regret after bending our own rules. We always communicate it before we do so.

[DBL D 120]

I like ALiOEverything's approach;

 

Flexible but open...except for the condom thing. That's a given, much to my chagrin, but I try to understand and make the most of it. Surrender (See some of my other posts for that.)

 

I don't think the answer to your questions lie in our answers, JustMe. You two must set your own boundaries. It's not like there is a formula for success, though some would like to have some of these guidelines for themselves.

 

I think my ideal is to go into it all with a completely open mind. Don't act surprised if your mate does something you don't expect. THEN !!!

[ALilOEverything 901]

DBL D said:

Flexible but open...except for the condom thing.

We did it one time with long time friends of ours who have been in a monogamous relationship for years and years (they wanted to try to see what it was all about). I no longer can say it's an absolute and we have no other friends we would consider swinging that rule will probably go back to being an absolute.

[DBL D 120]

Thank you AlilOEverything,

 

I appreciate that response.

 

I keep hoping that we will meet a few couples that we would feel secure enough to go bareback. Until that happens, it's not the end of the world.

[gsu22 187]

If I could jump in here as a single guy....

 

Mine are:

 

1.) EVERYbody is comfortable(sexual and otherwise)

2.) Condoms

3.) No pain or anything close to it

4.) Everyone's on the same page as to what each one likes

5.) Everyone's free and relaxed

[looking2swing 17]

We have many of the same basic rules that everyone else has:

 

Condoms. We don't play alone . We only move forward if both of us agree. No singles. No emotional attachments, and we only play in the same room.

 

Since we follow our agreed upon ground rules, we have had nothing but positive experiences in the lifestyle.

[HotMoCpl 20]

No sex without protection, same room only, only play with couples.......and she makes all the decisions about picking.

Cheers.

[xxoticangel 99]

- We play together

- We don't go for anything painful

- Condoms for intercourse, unless we know and trust you really, really well

- Bathroom stuff belongs there and not in the bedroom

- No emotional entanglements

- No cheaters (yes, you will need a note from your wife. )

 

Ours are the same as Brad and Janet's except that we add No anal with a swing partner.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Ours are pretty much the same - condoms, play together, no M/M, etc...

 

Of course - all of these rules are subject to change in the event that Gwen Steffani requests something special

[Vespertine 31]

Of course - all of these rules are subject to change in the event that Gwen Steffani requests something special

lmao, Spoo.

 

We have the Brad Pitt clause here.

[JustMe. 15]

Wow....

 

Thank you for your replies. Now, to make this a little more complicated

 

Almost all of you say about the condom use, tha'ts very, very, very OK... but a few time ago, I asked about the sperm matter.....where "to put it"

 

In that occasion a lot of people told me things about their preferences in faces, mouths or even swallow.

 

Now the big question...

Why to use condom when a lot of people prefer to have direct contact with sperm?

[Denver2some 15]

Now the big question......

Why to use condom when a lot of ppl prefer to have direct contact with sperm??

 

Studies have shown the risk of transmission to be much, much higher with intercourse than with oral sex or incidental contact. (We're talking thousands of times more likely.)

 

This is because for transmission, the HIV virus has to enter the bloodstream ... which it might not ever do with incidental contact. And the acids in the mouth most often kill the virus off (not every single time, though ... nothing is perfectly safe) However, someone with a cut in their mouth or on their hands in these instances would be taking a greater risk that an uninjured person, because of the potential access to the bloodstream.

 

People who use condoms for intercourse, but not oral sex, most likely make the distinction due to the different levels of risk involved.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Of course - all of these rules are subject to change in the event that Gwen Steffani requests something special

Spoomonkey

 

MMmmmmmm Gwen Stefani....... That would definitely result in an amendment to the rules.

 

For the Mrs, her Sam Elliot fetish would be the cause of a rule change.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

We have 3 rules: we both play or no one plays, we play together, and condoms. But, there's one couple that we've "broken" two of those rules with. Of course, everything was discussed beforehand, so it wasn't like breaking them, but it just showed us that there are no hard-and-fast rules. In certain situations and with certain couples, they're all negotiable.

[findtime 16]

Hmmm. In reading this I guess we have a few more rules than I realized. I suppose I just considered a couple of them "givens". KWIM?

 

No kissing.

 

Same room only but anything goes.

 

No playing with friends

(although we play with lifestyle couples we consider friends). This rule is kind of strange because it only applies to our closest friends. We don't want to blur any lines even if they swing too.

 

Condom use for penetration every time

 

We don't have to both play but the option has to be there. Sometimes I enjoy chatting and watching, so he can go ahead and play without me (many of our encounters are in a group setting). I wouldn't tolerate not being welcome to join in if I chose to. Neither would he.

 

Disclaimer: All previous rules will be abandoned in the event that Oded Fehr (for me) or Julia Roberts (for him) are ever an option.

[JustMe. 15]

Sorry for to keep asking about the same thing....

 

But...

 

How do you tell the other couple those rules. ...do you do that in a explicit way?? Or, how do you do if the other male try to kiss your wife ( assuming that you have the rule of "no kisses" ?? )

[HotMoCpl 20]

In principle, here they are, as we haven't done the deed yet.

SHE'S the boss.

Comdoms...always.

Couples only.

Same room.

No kissing.

No pain...bd/sm

No scat.

No water sports.

No pushy people.

No bi, gay, or lesbian.

No pics or cams.

These rules are subject to change.

We both have veto power.

 

IF she decides to change these rules on the spur of the moment, she's the boss.

 

Cheers.

[HotMoCpl 20]

JustMe. said:

Sorry for to keep asking about the same thing....

 

But...

 

How do you tell the other couple those rules. ...do you do that in a explicit way?? Or, how do you do if the other male try to kiss your wife ( assuming that you have the rule of "no kisses" ?? )

 

I believe that straight out conversation that is honest and to the point. What other way is there?

 

We plan on using a club to check out this lifestyle and see how it goes from there. Meeting on line? Too scary for us.

 

Cheers.

[WesternSwing 504]

Ours are pretty simple also:

 

1) We only play together, period.

2) No glove, no love, period.

3) Mrs. WS does not do anal with others

 

Our list has shorted quite a bit as we've become more comfortable with swinging.

[nckittycpl29 15]

If we may jump in here as a new couple....

 

Our FMF rules are...

 

-Everyone must be comfortable

-No condoms (nckittymale is "fixed") but will use if needed

-Yes to kissing, penetration, oral, not sure about anal with other woman

-Female can play alone(this one is still pending...)

-No watersports.

-Bondage/spanking OK

-No emotional attachment

 

I (nckittyfemale) basically think that's it..... almost anything goes. At first when we first started talking about having a threesome, I didn't want him to have any penetration with the other female but since we are really close, and we trust each other 110%, I will let him penetrate her, oral, and kiss her. I brought up with my fiancè that maybe I could play with the other female here at home, to be sure that I know what I'm doing. He seems ok with it but when the opportunity is there to have the threesome, we're going to let it happen.

 

I think that it is the key to having a successful threesome... if you set some guidelines, and you all feel comfortable, you can have an awesome time together. I have heard of SO many threesomes gone wrong, and I'm pretty sure that when we have it, it'll go pretty smoothly.