How long after getting married did you start swinging?

[beaverz 18]

My wife and I have been together for over twenty years (she was 17 and I was 19) and neither of us has had sex with anyone else since (at least I hope that’s still the case, just kidding). We are trying to learn as much as possible about swinging and what to expect.

 

I would like to get feedback from couples that didn’t start swinging until after they were married. How long after you were married did you start swinging and did either of you have a problem with anxiety, since it may have been a while since you were with someone else?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

We've been married thirty years and we started swinging this past year.

 

Mr LM had plenty of experience with dating and sex before we met. But no swinging. I can count on one hand the guys I dated before we met, no sex with any of them...I don't think I even let a guy touch my breast.

 

I was the one who brought up swinging. I was the one who wanted sex with others before I got any older. Mr LM said OK, and now we play.

 

For us it was a smooth transition because we were well prepared through reading this board.

 

I wouldn't say we experienced "anxiety." I would call it excitement and a few jitters; it was a good feeling really, we knew we were about to make a wonderful discovery!

[DBL D 120]

We'd been married 23 years and it didn't come up in the best of ways...

 

Hopefully things will start to smooth out soon. We still find that we have to really work at it and I can't wait until it seems natural for us.

 

We have had some good times, don't get me wrong!!!

[good times 991]

We had been married about 18 years when we started swinging. The way we got into it was pretty gradual over a period of a two years or so. One of the biggest helps for us was this board, which we read and participated in for at least a year bfore we had our first swinging experiance. I think that is why when we actually took the plunge and started going to the clubs and meeting and playing with other swingers we didn't really experiance any anxiety, our experiance was more like LM said above with a few nervous jitters at first.

[WesternSwing 504]

We've been married 5 years next month. We got into swing about a year ago. We both were married before.

 

There were a few issues on my behalf at first. Much of these were attributed to baggage from my ex who had slept with my best friend and a coworker of hers, who she got pregnant with and later married married. I was not the jealous type before and didn't even think this dragon would rear its ugly head, but it did after the first time. That is not a problem anymore. After several more experiences and seeing my wife wasn't leaving me for someone else that feeling went away.

[NotsoNew 17]

We were married for about 6 years before we got into swinging. We got married when we were 30. His first, my second.

[northindycpl 32]

We were married about 8 years before we started. maybe the Seven Year Itch had something to do with it?

 

We have a fantastic sex life.. and we always have. We really wated to expand our horizons.

[djjwp 129]

With ex, it was 8 years to start. Current wife, hard to say. We have done some soft but she is not regular about doing it. I would say 5 years before her first soft swing experance. Still try to get her to do more...

[beaverz 18]

It’s encouraging to know that there are couples that have started swinging successfully that had a monogamous relationships of 5, 10, 20+ years.

 

Thanks for your responses!!!

[BradAndJanet 70]

20 for us...

[CuriousElders 15]

We've been together almost 32 years and we've been married for almost 29 years. We started swinging a year ago, so that makes it 28 years before we started. During that time we have been monomgmous, so loosing our virginity a second time was an event! Similar to LikeMinds123, Mr. CE had a lot of secual encounters prior to his first marriage and between marriages in the wonderful 60's. Mrs. CE could count her lovers on a single hand. As they say, "better late than never".

[xxoticangel 99]

We have been married almost 5 years and have been swinging for over 7. We had both been married before and if just seemed right for us. After we married we honeymooned at Hedo II so I would guess about 30 hours after the wedding we were swinging with another couple.

[todesireu 16]

We've been married 8 years, together for ten and got into swinging about three years ago. Swinging doesn't work well unless you have a solid relationship and communicate. facelick

[24play 15]

We started swinging when we were dating for 6 months, - and it's now been 4 years. Still loving it - and it's really cool that we both ventured into it toghether.

 

Both being married before, we totally knew what we wanted out of our sex lives and didnt' waste time in exploring it.

We've been married two years, now, and very happily so!

[looking2swing 17]

We were married for about 14 months before we started swinging.

[ALilOEverything 901]

We dabbled in it here and there just a little bit but we really started to explore it after 6 years of marriage and living together for 3 more years on top of that. It took us a long time to really be ready.

[explore101 15]

We were married 23 1/2 years before our first encounter which was about 6 months ago. Hubby brought the conversation up about 10 years ago but we had no clue how to venture into it. We raised our kids the started focusing on how to add to our great marriage and wah la......here we are. This board can help with the first time jitters but communication between the both of you is the key to success. Have fun & play safe

[new2uu 15]

24 years married ! But we have been together 29years, met in 1976! I know what you are talking about the excitement and jitters. I am all there.

[CliffandKeira 15]

I don't know if it counts as swinging but for a wedding present to hubby we had a FMF....lol he said my present to him was his fav out of the gifts we recieved.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We had been marri3d for 17 years when swinging first came up. First marriage for both of us.

 

There was, is, and probably always will be some level of anxiety when being with someone new. Anxiety may be too strong a term now, but I think it's difficult to totally eliminate even the jitters even though you have some experience under your belt.

 

So how about you, how long between saying I DO and your first swinging experience?

[OhioCouple1712 22]

We started when we were about 30 years married 32 years knowing each other. We raised our kids and now it was our time. Prior to us getting together neither of us had many partners so we wanted to just have some fun get try new people out. We are somewhat new to this like 8 months had 3 different results. 1st was bad, 2nd was ok at best, and 3rd was very good for both of us. So far it has brought us closer and hornier to. Lol

[Guest]

I was a widow after 25 years of marriage and my bf was divorced after 22 years of marriage. We started swinging while still dating, about 5 months into our relationship. I’m sure that starting to date and have sex with various men after that many years of marriage was a factor that led to my lack of reluctance to move into swinging.

[adamgunn 1,460]

We started twenty years after we married.

[NC_Seniors 518]

We started twenty years after we married.

Same ...

[couplers 4,640]

It depends on what is meant by "swinging." You choose:

 

- t=0 When I was still seeing and screwing my ex-fiance while I met and started dating the guy who would become my husband? (They were fine with it.)

 

- t=4 months When we started doing MFMs? (They were monogamous with me.)

 

- t=2 years After I got over my insecurities and jealousy and started setting up my now-husband with other women? When some of them let me watch?

 

- t=2.5 years When I started Lesbian activity with those women? When we started FFMs and MFMFs?

 

- t≃3 years The first time we swapped with another married couple? (My boyfriend was there too.)