Better sex as a Swinger?

[Guest everlast]

Here's a simple little question for you...

 

They say practice makes perfect. Have you found that through swinging you and/or your partner have gotten better in bed?

 

It also seems that what a lot of swingers seem to enjoy sexually could be considered somewhat extreme (i.e.; DP, gangbangs, dungeon play etc...)

 

Would you say that your experiences as a swinger has made you more receptive or for lack of a better word, more "kinky"? or are these things that you were already doing before you got into swinging?

[CyberMWC 15]

Interesting question...

 

I would have to say, that it helped me get over the negativity of "Sex" from my past history. Our experiences in the lifestyle has made me feel much more comfortable on the topic of SEX. The world is SO SEXually deprived, it's not even funny.

 

"Kinky"? Depends...What's kinky to one, may not be kinky to another. I think it's more like experiencing SEX out of your "comfort" zone. Expressing yourself SEXually, exploring fantasies beyond your wildest desires, and sharing the experiences with your Soulmate (BIGEST SEXUAL high)!

 

As you further explore your SEXuality, you open avenues that you never had the nerve to try and experience. I think its pretty cool! It's like this SEXual high...You're enjoying SEX SO much, that you just can't have enough! I hate having "limits" on myself...

 

Expand your horizons...SEXUALLY!

[CanadianCouple 18]

More uninhibited, I'd say. As you gain confidence in yourself within the lifestyle, that alone would make you a better lover, IMO.

 

Dan

[Guest Len & Ding]

Well I am a scientist and tend to quantify things so let me put it this way. We are in our middle years and have been married just about forever. Before we discovered the lifestyle the total number of orgasms that my wife and I experianced in a typical month was four or five. Now after a bit of "soft swinging", that is a pretty fair number for one evening. Can you imagine what the number will be if we ever crossover to full swing? In mathematics that is called an exponential progression

[Brian and Jo 344]

I don't think that being swingers has resulted in us being more kinky if by that you mean things like anal sex and BDSM. We are not into that sort of thing. However soon after we joined the lifestyle we became more uninhibited and open in our sexual behaviour as we shared sexual experiences with other couples. For example we really enjoy group sex where we can watch each other fucking other partners. Over the many years we have been swinging we have also become more confident about our sexual prowess and our ability to satisfy not only each other but also the many other sexual partners we have had. It is a case of practice makes perfect I guess.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

This issue may apply to some and not to others. But I haven't seen any postings on it.

 

Once you have gotten into the lifestyle does it affect your normal sex life? And what is "normal"?

 

Some swingers out there saysswinging makes your sex life better with your partner. Or does it make your sex life only better when you are with other partners?

 

I've seen where some swingers don't really have a sex life unless they are swinging. Are there more out there that don't admit to this?

 

So I guess the simple question is, "Do you only have sex when you are swinging"?

 

Is there a group of swingers like this?

 

Thought it make for some good brain food.

[OhioCouple 40]

This is a really interesting topic.

 

For us, just the concept of swinging reminds us to 'connect' with each other. The last few years have been tremendously hard on us personally. We have ailing relatives and friends and have spent more time focused on them than we have in our own personal sexual relationship.

 

Quite honestly, there are times that we do not have sex together unless we are swinging, (or directly there after). Swinging happens to be one of the few joint activities that we share and making time for that is often impossible. But it is also nearly impossible to make time for our own other personal recreations.

 

My husband hasn't fished, hunted or played golf in nearly two years. I haven't read all the books I wanted or attended to my gardening like I wanted in almost two years. Our time is spent tending to other peoples homes and transporting them to and from doctor's or hospitals and trying to keep a business afloat, one that we had expected to sell two years ago and retire. But, all that changed.

 

We would certainly have more sex, if we had time for it. Making the time is tough though.

[ciscosv 26]

I wouldn't say that the idea of swinging is to enhance our sexual relationship. Our sex life is not like it was when we first met. You know the three times a day and more on weekends.. My wife is a very sexual woman. Something that I feel I should share with others so to speak. I want to be in the presence of my wife recieving orgasms from someone other than me. I am a guy and I like sex, plain and simple. More than that, I too, am a very sexual and loving person. I find myself attracted to people in general. I also like the sexual energy that other couples provide to the atmosphere around us both. And lastly, I like to talk about whatever it is you can't talk about normally and talking to other swingers is great. Stuff like, "Hey your wife is hot!" or "You really are a sexy person."

[hmr 25]

All of the above. The sex between myself and the mrs has been much better and more often since was have started swinging.

 

Plus , we have definitely done things and tried things she especially would not have even concidered until we started playing.

 

In fact, there are some things she has done that I had tried to talk to her about, but she only did after someone else suggested it.

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

Would have to say that sex between us since we started swinging has gotten better, mainly because we have learned different things from being with other couples, and found different things that turn us on. As far as kinky, we don't consider ourselves kinky at all, but we don't mind doing some exploring with our sexuality. That's what we enjoy most about swinging, is we are able to so to speak go outside of ourselves. So has swinging improved our sex life, most deffinatly. The reason we got started in the first place was to spice things up and they deffinatly got spiced up. Before we started swinging, our sex life hit a dull patch, where we just were not enjoying it as much, but we can easily say thanks to swinging, it has really fired things up between us sexually, and even has brought us closer together as a husband and wife.

 

[b_and_sc 16]

I don't know if I'd say we are more kinky...I'm much more verbal about what I like or don't...and we use more toys than we did before, and more positions...ya, sex is MUCH better now...but not 'weird' or anything.

[findtime 16]

Our sex life was already great hence our initial discussion about swinging a couple of years ago. We are very sexual and also very open about our needs, wants and desires.

 

We find that swinging enhances our already quite active sex play and, even after an evening of swinging, we go home and make love again while discussing the nights activities. Sometimes that's even better. 😜

[confunktion 20]

findtime said:

We find that swinging enhances our already quite active sex play and, even after an evening of swinging, we go home and make love again while discussing the nights activities. Sometimes that's even better. 😜

 

A great way to describe it from findtime...it has been a total enhancement for us, not replacing anything or trying to fill any holes. If anything, it has made our lovemaking much deeper and more meaningful.

[sweetswing 15]

for us it has been great, sex was great to begin with but when we began to swing it sent our sex life over the top into unbelievable,it's an incredible turn on

[LasVegasCouple 15]

We agree with sweetswing...

 

Our sex life was AMAZING before we started our new "hobby", and it is even more amazing now.

 

We DO have LOTS of sex without any additional playmates...at least once a day and often three or four times a day - each session lasting at least a couple of hours. I think that we may be a bit unusual in that regard...but it seems that the more sex that we have, the more we want.

 

Sex with additional playmates allows us to do things that we just can't do without them. Mrs. LasVegasCouple loves double penetrations...and multiple hands and mouths on her body...

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

With us our sex life was pretty good before we started swinging, but can easily say that our sex life with each other, has vastly improved since we started swinging, mainly because we have more trust in each other, and it's brought us closer, when we started swinging, we needed to do something to shake things up as far as our love life was concerned, and it worked, we also took things that we have done with others when swinging and applied it to sex with each other, and it has really improved our sex life alot.

 

So for us, it's had a very positive effect.

[growgirl 15]

Well, I guess we differ from most posters... Our sex life was pretty poor prior to swinging. We had never had the strongest communication, we did the advance and retreat dance quite frequently and never resolved anything or truly communicated our feelings. Having the kids was an added stress and we became a "quickie" couple in bed. After 15 years together, I decided to try to change myself and become a better, less emotionally charged and bitter person. It worked. But growguy was still in his rut so to speak. Everything he said to me still had to be run through the "will this piss her off?" filter first. Swinging was something so totally new and off the wall that when I first brought it up, he could approach it without having to run it through the filter. Once we discovered we could do that and not have the end of the world occur, then we started talking honestly and openly about many other things that we had suppressed over the years in an attempt to avoid "emotions gone wild".

 

So while swinging has had a great positive effect on our sex life, I also have to give it a lot of credit for helping us to create a much happier and emotionally healthier life. Instead of a "co-worker" marriage, we have a true couple relationship now.

[CB_n_Red 16]

This is a simple one for us. Before swinging our sex life was great. Now it's even greater.

[mfmyeahbaby 19]

For me and S.O. it has always enhanced our sex life. Usually afterward we are very hot for each other days after. Thats hot. Thats double the pleasure for me. I love to watch her please and be pleased plus we have hot sex afterwards facelick

[Spoomonkey 421]

LasVegasCouple said:

We DO have LOTS of sex without any additional playmates...at least once a day and often three or four times a day - each session lasting at least a couple of hours. I think that we may be a bit unusual in that regard...but it seems that the more sex that we have, the more we want.

 

I have to Dito LasVegasCouple.

 

We were "abnormally active" before we started swinging (according to the polls I've seen) and since swinging, our frequency is almost freakish. Interestingly, as we have been involved in swinging longer, our interest in swinging has dipped a bit, but our frequency continues to be very high.

[WesternSwing 504]

Maybe swinging has made us a little kinkier, and maybe a little better in bed together because we've discovered some things from others that really turned each other on and have added those things to our regular play. So we have all our tricks and all the ones we can borrow.

 

I do think we've tried a few things we hadn't really explored before, and we definitely take allot more pictures now, and more erotic rather then just naughty ones. Mrs. WS goes out of the way now to set-up sexy shots with costuming and props. That has become allot of fun. I keep telling her she should make a business out of it and do erotic photography for a living... Maybe someday. I know she'd be happier doing it than what she's doing now. But, she's artsy that way.

 

Mr. WS

[fun4Ds 1,098]

simply put, swinging has put us more on the same page so to speak. some things we are more open about facelick . some things we might try . and some things we just wont do .it has made it easier to know the diffrence.

[Amanda69 24]

Female here:

 

Quote

They say practice makes perfect, have you found that through swinging you and/or your partner have gotten better in bed?

 

Nope was pretty good and had a lot of practice before and this just gave me another outlet.

 

Quote

Would you say that your experiences as a swinger has made you more receptive or for lack of a better word, more "kinky"? or are these things that you were already doing before you got into swinging?

 

Nope not any more or any less receptive. Personally I didn't and don't have any interest in DP, gang bangs or dungeon play. It did make me more receptive to bi play.

[newandexcited 15]

We haven't even started swinging yet and the topic of swinging has made us better in bed. Because we are talking about sex more now and what we like and don't like...and because the communication has somehow made us a little less inhibited with each other we've had the best sex and most frequent sex of our marriage. We are in absolute heaven right now. I can't hardly imagine what will happen if/when we move to the next step.

[blondie77 17]

I would definitely say we've gotten more kinky.....AND better in bed! Swinging has opened our eyes to so many new things. For instance, I now own more sex toys than I can comfortably carry....something I didn't think was acceptable in the past. We are both more vocal now, more open to try new things, and less judgemental of things that we would have closed the door on a few years ago. And my hubby has learned this new technique with his tongue that I thought was impossible.......tehee.....but that's another story.

[EvilMJ 65]

I have been more open to new things, learned some new things. Have I got kinkier...eh..it was always there, swinging just made me more relaxed and accepting of it.

[beaverz 18]

Quote

Originally Posted by newandexcited

...we are talking about sex more now and what we like and don't like...and because the communication has somehow made us a little less inhibited with each other we've had the best sex and most frequent sex of our marriage.

 Dito

 

Quote

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

Have I got kinkier...eh..it was always there, swinging just made me more relaxed and accepting of it.

 

That’s what scares me about Mrs. Beaverz, are we about to open the flood gates.

[WesternSwing 504]

That’s what scares me about Mrs. Beaverz, are we about to open the flood gates.

All I can say is get out your surfboard and enjoy the ride. I know I have watching Mrs. WS open-up and explore her real self.

 

Mr. WS

[DBL D 120]

Well I am a scientist and tend to quantify things...Before we discovered the lifestyle the total number of orgasms that my wife and I experianced in a typical month was four or five. Now after a bit of "soft swinging", that is a pretty fair number for one evening. Can you imagine what the number will be if we ever crossover to full swing? In mathematics that is called an exponential progression

 

Just what I needed to hear before a weekend without play!

 

Male D

[Texasfuncouple 69]

Obviously sleeping with other people, I would say we have gotten a little more kinky! But as far as the overall sexual spectrum we are still pretty conservative compared to many. Although, if those fantasies came up we probably would have much fewer inhibitions in trying them.

 

As far as the quality of sex before or after the lifestyle! It can not be compared!

[willyoats 324]

Sex is like any other learned activity. The more teachers and homework you have, the better you get.

 

In our very first swap with owners of a club that catered to introducing beginners to the lifestyle, we learned a position that we had never heard of. It became one of our favorites.

 

I think it is cruel in this country that so many folks have to be self-taught. Compared to being guided by more experienced practitioners, that is a lousy way to get good at most things, including sex.

 

Of course, interacting with other folks sexually showed us new things and exposed us to new ideas that would not have been possible otherwise.

[BCinIN 52]

Here's a simple little question for you...

 

They say practise makes perfect, have you found that through swinging you and/or your partner have gotten better in bed?

 

Nah. Our preferences are still the same, and we'd mastered each other's before entering the Lifestyle. But we have learned different (not necessarily good) ways people do certain things. We have improved with each other, no doubt, but it wasn't due to experiences with other couples--just that we're always trying new things.

 

It also seems that what a lot of swingers seem to enjoy sexually could be considered somewhat extreme (i.e.; DP, gangbangs, dungeon play etc...)

 

Define "a lot." I've found those to be two of the least popular things among couples with whom we've spoken.

 

Would you say that your experiances as a swinger has made you more receptive or for lack of a better word, more "kinky"? or are these things that you were already doing before you got into swinging?

 

Yes to the first. To the second: we were already doing most things we do now, but not all.

[sweet_tna 680]

Before we started swinging, our sex life had already amped up on it's own--so the frequency hasn't changed much. But I would say that we've gotten a bit more kinky. Goodness knows, I'd never have forseen myself doing the group thing, or doing any FF play before. And I've tried other things with Mr. Sweet that I never tried before, either. So I'd have to say all around we have gotten better and kinkier at sex--a good thing, in my opinion!

 

=)