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JustAskJulie

Have you ever taken one for the team?

Have you ever taken one for the team?  

224 members have voted

  1. 1. Have you ever taken one for the team?

    • Yes, but wouldn't do it again
      50
    • Yes, and I would do it again
      102
    • No, and we won't
      31
    • No, it hasn't been an issue so far
      50
    • Other - please specify.
      5


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Nope, if I'm not attracted I don't get wet and I hate bothering with lube :rollseyes

 

He's never either, he's always asking afterwards... "so when do we get to see them again"

 

I'm pickier than he is so usually it's my decision whether or not we play with a couple. Only once has he said he wasn't attracted and to move on.

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didnt know it was going to turn out that way till it was over. the guy of the cpl claimed to be very very good in bed. Well it didnt turn out that way.

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Yes, I (Mr. Chemistry) have done what might be considered "one for the team". While I was not totally blown away by the female of a particular couple, My Little Princess seemed to have a really great time. In this case I was so happy with that fact alone that I guess it really removed me from the "one for the team" category. So, would I do that again? In a heartbeat! Only problem is that I would never be able to tell when I am! :D

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We are fortunate that this situation has never come up....yet. However...if we met a couple where hubby was more interested in the female than i was the male half....i would not refuse outright the possibility of taking the relationship to the next level. I would ask for a little more time....in the hopes that perhaps my initial response was a mistake. Only if the gentleman in question was severely "creeping me out" would I refuse to have anything to do with him.....if hubby REALLY wanted to be with his S/O.

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I voted yes, but wouldn't do it again.

 

I guess at the time, I thought I could work my way through it. I did. And n the car on the way home, Mr. Indy informed me that he felt as if he did too.

 

That was the start of the "we don't play on the first meeting" rule and the end of ever taking one for the team again!!! :lol:

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Although the situation has not come up, I would take one in a heartbeat if it made the Mrs. happy. An d although I never keep score I feel confident she would return the favor if the chance arose. ::P:

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Unfortunately, yes we both have. The first time we ever played Mr. Fun took one for the team. It was soft swap, and I think we both just got caught up in the excitement of our first experience. We decided we wouldn't take one for the team again. You think we would have learned from this, but the very next time we played with a new couple, I was not attracted to the guy. We honestly have learned our lesson (the hard way) and under no circumstances will we do that again :nono: - live and learn. It's just a bad situation for everyone involved. It's unfair to the other couple too. We have since met a group of people at a monthly social we attend, and both of the above mentioned couple's are there. So it's a bit uncomfortable, but I think they understand we aren't interested.

 

Anyway, would not recommend the whole taking one for team situation!

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I'm with Ranch Couple's exact description. I wouldn't want to do it often, but if the wife were blown away by some guy and his wife didn't do much for me, as long as the little head could rise to the occasion, I'd let Mama have her way. As long as our little buddies in our pants will play, I think it's a lot easier for guys to do this than the girls. But, I'd never ask my wife to take one for the team if I sensed she had no interest, and I'd still expect her to appreciate me doing her the favor.

 

But of course, I'd damn sure have to be watching!

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We both have.....and in my situation, I can't say that I wouldn't do the same again. We met this great couple that we had great conversation with, had lots of similiar interests, etc. She is TOTALLY Drew's type and he was very into her, which was exciting to me. I thought she was cute. Her husband, a really great guy, is polite and attractive, certainly not a troll, but there wasn't a great deal of sexual attraction on my part. We've played with them on more than one occassion and although we had fun, if he weren't so attracted to her, I probably wouldn't have played with them. I think I had fun partly because he was having such a good time. We probably will play with them again at some point, and I certainly won't feel like 'oh darn, we have to play with them AGAIN' :sad: We had a good time and probably would again. So, I don't consider it always being a bad thing to take one for the team. It's just that sometimes we have different levels of attraction to different people within a couple.

 

Did that make any sense at all? :confused:

 

Pepper

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Our situation is regretful, on my part. My husband felt forced to take one for the team in a recent party situation. And I had had a little too much to drink and did not remain focused on his body language or his subtle hints that we should leave. :sad: I was just mesmerized by the husband of the other couple ... do not know why, he wasn't really attractive ... he was a great conversationalist, and to be completely honest, I wanted to see my husband with this guy's wife. We are just getting back into the swing of things ;) and I guess I was rushing in with my eyes completely shut just to GET IT DONE!

 

I have run down the lists of "I should haves" over and over in my head, seemingly hoping to get the whole situation to have never happened. :(

 

I should have taken his third time saying, "it's late we really might ought to leave" as "Move your ass .... we are going home!"

 

I should have paid attention to the fact that the wife of the other couple was not in the least my husband's type and he was not into her at all.

 

I should have paid way more attention to my husband's feelings instead of this idiot's soliloquy. :rollseyes

 

Needless to say, it wasn't a good night. The husband of the other couple couldn't even keep an erection (for all his big talk!), and I was silently wishing the whole thing would end. My husband, the trooper that he is, did his part with the wife.

 

But, no, we have talked and agreed that taking one for the team is never an option. The whole thing is that we are in this TOGETHER and will remain as such, in every situation.

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We did when we were younger and inexperienced. Twice specifically that I can remember.

Now we agree that both of us have to like the other person or persons before we go any further. Of course they have to like us too.

Sexual attraction is nice, but when you have all personalities meshing it's amazing!

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We've both "taken one for the team."

 

On our first swap, the man turned out to be both hung and adept. Mrs. Alura had a great time. His wife didn't really "do it for me," but — what the hell?— "gratitude is riches..." So I did my best...

 

On another occasion, the man was unable to hold a conversation on any subject except construction. Mrs. Alura was bored, but he never knew it; she just kept the sex going so he didn't have to talk. His wife was a nurse and quite a delight, both in and out of bed. We played with them for several years and became good friends.

 

"Taking one for the team" isn't all that bad.

 

:)

Mr. Alura

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It seems like "taking one for the team" is more a refelction of what you would like for your partner. I enjoy seeing Di having a good time and if that means that my experience isn't the best, oh well. To a limit, of course. If your partner feels the same, things will even out over time. I mean, is OK sex better than no sex??

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IF S is into the guy or the couple and I can at least get it up then ya we can play and I will take one for the team you could say. I know that if he doesn't excite her at all it wont happen no matter what. D

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I think the double standard rears its head again in this question, and in sum, I think its okay (and easier) for the guy to take one for the team than it is for the gal. If she is okay with the guy (and she tends to be picky), I am more than usually okay with the gal, and the few times I wasn't and "took one for the team," the play ended up being better than I thought it would anyway.

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Neither one of us has ever took one for the team.... I mean we decided to to this as a couple so when we play, We play as a couple. and if one of us is not intrested then that means we as a couple will not enjoy ourselfs so why pretend

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We've each taken one for the team exactly once and we've agreed that will not happen again.

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Unfortunately, yes. Interestingly, my husband knew but he didn't know the extent. I just recently told him and he feels awful :(

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Yes, I've done it and would probably do it again....to an extent. There have been guys that I probably wouldn't have played with if Drew hadn't really been into the girl, or guys that I wouldn't have played with if I hadn't been so into the girl :D.

 

The reason why I'm open to maybe slightly taking one for the team is because there have been times that I began the night thinking that I was going to be taking one for the team, but I ended up having a really awesome time.

 

Having said that though, there are just some where it's not negotiable. But I wouldn't say that I wouldn't take one for the team again. Who knows, sometimes frogs turn into princes.

 

Pepper

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Years ago, one of the first couples we met to play with. The guy was hot for L (hey, most guys are) and L was ready to play. His wife did not seem to be into it.

 

We met them at a bar, at their request. L and I had water, the husband had a beer. The wife had 4 doubles of some killer drink (zombie? stinger? something with about 6 kinds of liquor in it). Not sure if the wife wasn't interested in me or just wasn't interested in swapping. After chugging her fourth, she declared we should head for the motel.

 

On arrival, the wife disappeared into the bathroom. After 10 minutes, the husband went in after her. L and I shrugged. We couldn't leave gracefully, as it was our room. 10 minutes later they came out with the wife in a pricey outfit that would have been sexy on a sober woman who wanted to play.

 

L and the husband got naked and started playing. Even though the wife didn't seem interested -- heck, she was barely conscious! -- she seemed insulted by my reluctance, so I felt like I had to do something. You could tell her body enjoyed the sex, but her mind wasn't even in the same county. Not a stellar experience for me. It wasn't that she was physically unattractive, it was that she was uninterested. On the other bed, L and the husband had a few good, albeit fast, fucks. Neither the wife nor I initiated anything further with each other.

 

Since then, L and I have been harder-nosed about not playing with couples unless the wife convinces us she's interested.

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My swing mate and I are both in our 50's. A couple in their early 20's contacted us via SLS and invited us to come to their home. We were both hesitant because of the age difference but it also excited us. Well he was great, fucked her like I remember being able to fuck when I was 20. He had my swing mate sweating and having multiple O's. She just laid there when I fucked her, I felt like it was me until I watched him fuck her, same blank stare and little movement. So I went over after pulling my wet cum soaked cock out of my lady and pushed it into her mouth, she gave me a half hearted BJ, fucking her was like fucking a blow up doll. We went back a second tome just so my mate could enjoy him.

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For us, we have to both agree that there is an attraction of some kind, for us to continue in a play situation. I am very picky and if the male just doesn't do it for me, we move on. That might sound selfish but hey, I am in this with my partner to find pleasure and enjoyment for BOTH of us, not just one sided.

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Our experience says it's naive to think you can live the lifestyle without doing someone that you would otherwise pass on. It depends on how you define "taking one for the team."

 

We believe there are times when "community service" is required within a circle of friends or network of people you play with it. We do our best to to avoid situations where we will be put in that position but sometimes it happens. The question is are you prepared to fly alone or do you prefer the benefits of being in a flock? If you want to be in a flock you have to be able to get along and sometimes that means reaching out further than you might otherwise do.

 

A very dear friend of ours says the real challenge is to find something beautiful or attractive in everyone you meet because if you look hard enough it is there. Then you can appreciate the experience and live in that moment. We think he is right.

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To an extent i would. If i just wasn't that into the wife of the other couple, i could still perform so Mrs phoenix could have a great time. I generally can spot the beauty/sexyness in most people, so i focus on that.

 

if she completely turned me off (generally if she's a trophy type wife with no brains that'd do it) i'd strongly suggest to Mrs P to find another couple.

 

However, one problem i can see arising from the "take one for the team" scenario is a bit of resentment, and that is why i'm not going to take one for the team until the following is worked out between us.

 

I'm pretty open minded to most couples regardless of age/race/looks/kinks, BUT Mrs P isn't. when we were simply looking for a girl for a FMF before we got into the lifestyle, we found a couple of girls that Mrs P found attractive. they looked about 19, but they weren't much more than 6 months over Mrs P's cutoff age, and she refused to even talk to them to see if there was a spark. not flexible i believe the term is.

 

same thing is happening now. she won't swap with a couple unless she is physically attracted to BOTH members of that couple. which pretty much rules out the Female of the other couple being my "type", because her "type" of girl is the polar opposite to my type. (i like feminine, curvy, long haired girls... she likes round, butch, short haired girls...). and in that situation, it feels like it's more for HER than for US.

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We had met a couple on line that we were interested in, we met, went to dinner and back to their place.

Well things started happening and soon I realized he was only an AVERAGE kisser. Then he went down on me and it was BAD, like a dog lapping a water bowl...OMG. So I tell him how bad I want him and we proceeded to IC....that was HORRIBLE, he just kept doing this "half thrust" thing with his hands on his hips and said "like that?" at least a million times.....Finally I faked an orgasm and told him I wanted to finish him....so I started giving him oral....it lasted for freaking ever....my jaw was killing me....finally he said he was about to cum and wife asked if she could have his load, and I gladly let her.

Now my DH and her had a GREAT time, he came twice (I think she came 3 or 4 times)and re-energized and they did it a second time during the one long horrible expierence I had. The WORST sex I had had since some guy in college!

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Yes, we met this Asian couple, and we both were very attracted to her, she was really special and the chemistry between us was so high, but her husband... he was a guy that in other circumstances I would never ever even think to fuck.

 

We had a little chat and we decided to proceed and play with them. I did my best to "speed up the things" with her husband, I managed to finish him before she and my husband were done.

Then I joined them :) and we had a really good time with her.

 

Later on we all decided to go for a second round, I knew this time I was not going to be that easy for me to "speed up the things" so I turned the situation in a foursome were most of the time I was in direct contact and participating with the girl and my husband.

 

Honestly, I can't say it was a bad experience, they have tried to organize dinner with us again but we haven't played with them since and probably we never will.

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yes and never again at this point in our swing experience.

 

I found that if i am not into him then its no fun for me, if its no fun for one its no fun for anyone so we have also made a point not to be the couple that uses couples for our own pleasure no matter what they are feeling/wanting so we make sure all are on board before we play...maybe why we still haven't had a lot of experience lol

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We promised that we wouldn't; but we have. We'll never do it again. It didn't make for a pleasant time.

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I did on vacation in Jamaica several years ago. We met a couple on the nude beach and they were very nice and we decided to swap with them. So we did separate rooms and while I was with his wife, a beautiful woman, she was so fucked up on pills she could hardly function. You have always heard or had a " dead fuck" well this girl was so ripped she just laid there. I fucked the shit out of her and took her to the shower hoping she would come out of it. I dried her off, and she passed out on the bed, where I left her because it was there room. The next day on the nude beach I talked to her and she told me what a great time she had, I don't know how, she was so fucked up! Lol

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Earlier on in our journey we were at a play party where a couple who was very interested in us made their intensions for us known.  Our female half tends to be pickier than I, but was extremely horned up and decided to play with the male half she normally would NOT be interested in.  The female half was a bit heavier than I would normally go for, but at the time we tried to experience everything together so I went  with it...    Actually turned out to be a very fun experience and opened our inexperienced eyes to the possibility of chemistry overcoming aesthetics (within reason).

 

Another time that comes to mind was playing with the female half of a party in the same room as the wife (who was in a very sexy FFF three-sum on the next bed).  Towards the end of my extremely hot one on one, my wife had broken away from her girl time to watch me.  The partner of the woman I had been with had stealth-ed up on her and asked if it was OK to touch.  She agreed to it and they did their thing without red flags going off for me to intervene, but she told me later she had done it out of a sense of obligation and regretted it.  It soured the experience of an otherwise awesome night for her.

 

 

 

 

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Yes we both did early on in our adventures and we both won’t again!  If there is not attraction there it is not worth it.  I can have sex with someone I am incredibly attracted to everyday so there is no reason for me to have sex with someone I am not.  We are very picky about who we play with now and neither of us care if that means it isn’t going to happen often.  After 13 years together there is still no one out there I want more then her and I always am completely satisfied when we are finished.

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I have. Surprises do happen and all works out well.

 

I have even gone along with a second meeting if my wife really enjoyed the other man. Her pleasure is a motivator for me.

 

After that point I back off of future meeting. If the guy was really fun for her, we have arranged one on ones for her.

 

 

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3 hours ago, lcmim said:

I have. Surprises do happen and all works out well.

 

I have even gone along with a second meeting if my wife really enjoyed the other man. Her pleasure is a motivator for me.

 

Like many swinger couples, my wife sets the rules and makes the decision and I just go along with it.  Happily usually.  My main concern is that she is having a great time.  Shit I have a great time no matter what, basically.

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18 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Like many swinger couples, my wife sets the rules and makes the decision and I just go along with it.  Happily usually.  My main concern is that she is having a great time.  Shit I have a great time no matter what, basically.

Thinking about it, that pretty well sums it up nicely for us as well.  We three women make the decisions in our family and the two guys go along with it.  Although our sexual activities are now mostly among ourselves, we girls are in control of what happens.  David and Red have yet to complain. 

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Twice, at the insistence of my wife and the wife of another couple, I've had homosexual sex with the other husband.  We did both oral and anal, each side of it with the others.  You may not think it is possible, but I came in both their mouths and asses and didn't enjoy it.  Same with being on the receiving end.  The girls thought it was amusing.  Haven't done it since and don't plan on doing it again.

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10 hours ago, Numex said:

Twice, at the insistence of my wife and the wife of another couple, I've had homosexual sex with the other husband.  We did both oral and anal, each side of it with the others.  You may not think it is possible, but I came in both their mouths and asses and didn't enjoy it.  Same with being on the receiving end.  The girls thought it was amusing.  Haven't done it since and don't plan on doing it again.

Now that is taking one for the team.

Also, can we get their number?

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On 4/2/2023 at 6:02 AM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Also, can we get their number?

The other guys aren't looking to do anything like it again either.  We did it at our wives insistence.

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Please grant me the liberty of throwing a wrench in the works.

 

Alcohol. 

And its role in "taking one for the team". 

 

When we meet with couples and the other wife (my potential partner) has been drinking heavily, I have to ask myself; why?

Is she simply nervous, and to overcome this does she need 8 drinks?

Is she not happy with the whole swinging thing?

Is she taking one for the team?

 

This has not happened often, but the few times it has, it puts me on my guard. 

Also, I must confess, that for me, the issue of consent also rears it head. 

 

My wife and I were just discussing this situation today; for us, the issue with alcohol has been one seen more frequently with women than men. Odd. 

 

 

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None of us drink beyond one beer or glass of wine.  Quite frankly, when I'm having sex, I want to be as sharp and aware as possible to enjoy the experience.  To me, getting drunk before sex shows that she doesn't enjoy it. 

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We haven’t been with that many couples that it has ever been obvious that we either of us would be unhappy with our choices. We know what we look for physically and socially even if we aren’t usually looking. We have very specifics we want, the one that will stop others is that we only want separate rooms for a full night or at least 3-5 hours alone. I tell women that I intend to make love to their husbands which scares some. I find very few understand my statement, I’m not looking for love, just making love. 
We were with our new partners one night where I had a romantic fulfilling time, no complaints from me. Discussing the night on the way home I found out the play in the other room was not as romantic as my night. 
This to me is him taking one for the team. Though I had an enjoyable time I would never ask my husband to sacrifice another night. 

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