Dr. Phil and swingers - Feb. 14 show

[oncewere 84]

Just saw a promo for the Dr. Phill show. Evidently he is talking to someone who is or wants to be a swinger. Looks like he comes down very hard on her. You might watch out for that show.

[northindycpl 32]

Is it on today? WOW.. I know that he has made some pretty nasty referances to swingers in one of his books (Relationship Rescue I think)

[Alura 2,774]

Dr. Phil, in my opinion, is a pompous ass.

[N&G 207]

Keep in mind that people in the therapy field tend to see patients that have problems to begin with and swinging would not be a good choice for the majority of them. Whether Dr. Phil is therapy or entertainment I'll leave to you to decide.

[Guest smileytattoo]

I think Dr. Phil needs a good fuckin and he wouldn't be such a complete ass! My mom swears by Dr. Phil and keeps threatening to write the show to BEG him to come to my house..... Gag, Puke!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

So why does your mom think you need Dr. Phil, Smiley?

[SJCPL1 65]

I saw the coming attractions for the show. They were highlighting the shows for February. I don't know when in feb. it is on. In the promo, he does come down hard on the couple. Very judgmental.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ya know, I was just thinking.... when Dr. Phil was on Oprah they did a lot of Good Cop/Bad Cop... ie. she was the nice one he was the mean one. I wonder if this is there way of maintaining that. She did a pretty positive piece on swinging, so now it's his turn to slam it?

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

I saw the promo, & it was a couple with MANY other issues-they were trying to FIX something by swinging.

 

Dr Phil yelled "Some stranger is crawling on top of your wife while your daughter is upstairs sleeping......"

 

So God only knows what their ACTUAL issues are.

 

I am ashamed to admit, I do like Dr. Phil.

Acceptance is the first step to healing.

[Vespertine 31]

The only Dr. Phil I like is the one played by a SNL or Mad TV actor (can't remember which, or which one) who does a Dr. Phil parody.

 

Dr. Phil is a miserable SOB that obviously needs a good screw.

 

If he's doing a show on swinging, we're in for a bashing.

[Guest smileytattoo]

JustAskJulie said:

So why does your mom think you need Dr. Phil, Smiley?

Where do I start?? We have five kids, mine-his-ours. The oldest is 15, mine from a previous relationship, he has been diagnosed with a dozen mental disorders, was in residential treatment for two years, it failed, he set fires in my home, I finally made the agonizing decision to sign him over to the state. My mom feels everyone is just picking on him! My two step kids are 13 and 11, and we got custody of them a year ago November, they were taken away from their mother for severe neglect and endangerment. They both see shrinks, but it doesn't seem to be working, They NEED attention from one of their parents and neither their mom or dad has time for them. My four year old is my hubby's favorite, we planned him and it was a difficult pregnancy, Hubby shows his favoritism, even though I have told him that is bad! My two year old was conceived after I had my tubes tied, another difficult pregnancy, he is kinda spoiled (my fault). I am a stay at home mom that feels I never get enough support from my spouse on the day to day running of the family, hubby has depression and has finally started seeing a shrink himself. We never have enough money around here.... Blah blah blah

 

But I have to say that even though this place most resembles a zoo, I love my kids (all of them), and Hubby and I are very much in love. Who doesn't have a few issues in life? It keeps us healthy and on our toes to have a few disagreements once in a while. My mom thinks she is Wonder Woman, and I will never live up to her expectations. But I have come to grips with that and moved on!

[curiousagain 326]

Good cop/Bad cop only works when both are there. Apart, one looks like a softie and the other an ass. Dr. Phil is probably all right when the cameras aren't on, but he definitely plays to them which is why he has a show and we don't. LOL

[curiousagain 326]

Hey, wouldn't it be great to have a panel of swingers with their own show??? Take questions from the studio audience and via phone or email. Have guest stars???

With cable/satellite, it would be doable. If I can only get a start up fund going.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Wow, Smiley - you've got quite a handful. I have great respect for stay-at-home moms. It is a big job, more than full-time especially if you have young ones that aren't old enough to be in school. My best friend has just one 3yr old and she stays at home with him, watching her was enough to give me a whole new respect for you guys.

 

CA, based on the bios and such I've seen of him and people from his real life talking about him, I don't think he's any different in real life. That's why Oprah hired him to begin with, he was her "trainer" basically for the whole lawsuit from the meat industry, teaching her how to be tough and stand up in court.

[northindycpl 32]

I have to admit.... I mean confess... that I do think he is sexy in a certain way. I think it is the accent and the forcefulness. He also looks like he would smell good. Not that his looks have anything to do with his being sexy to me, but hey... if he and his wife were at a club, I would probably persue it.

 

(Maybe I should put this in the stuff you hate to admit thread)

[JennyMac 15]

Ms. Indy...

 

If it's his accent you like, I could just make you a voice recording of Mr. Mac and I talkin' and send it to ya! Bein' from Missippi and all, our accent are reeal thick like! Missippi born and raised, darlin'.

 

Seriously, I think the only thing I have trouble with are my i's .... all of my long i sounds sound like "eyes" I think my worst is saying Saturday Night Live... I just don't sound real smart when I say that phrase of words... again all of my i's are eyes

 

Ah well... some people think it's sexy! I don't even shake hands like a normal person, I think it's partly being raised here... I didn't even know it till someone brought it to my attention.

 

Some people think French is sexy... German.... if you ask real nice like, I'll speak Southern to ya!

 

Jenn

[northindycpl 32]

Nope... southern and brooklyn get me everytime.

 

I wonder what Dr. Phil would say about that!

[oncewere 84]

you too could be a successful pompous ass if you could choose the guests and cherry pick the clips that got on the air. BTW It is entertainment. He must be paying a lot for people to make such fools of themselves on TV.

[lovefest04 698]

I heard Dr. Phil on Larry King live on Thursday. He mentioned that he was doing a show on swinging and how crazy that lifestyle is. Then he asked Larry if he had any reason to have a 3rd person join him in bed. My first reaction was, "who the hell would want to, Larry is a walking corpse".

 

After a friend and I finished giving my wife about 10 really great orgasms and after she then got us both off i mentioned that Larry and Dr. Phil thought what we were doing was crazy.

 

Our friend just said, Dr. Phil's been wrong before and he's wrong now.

 

How right that was.

 

Swinging isn't for everyone, but for those of us who enjoy it leave us alone.

[intuition897 2,179]

I don't like Dr. Phil, and I think the thing that really bothers me most about him is the fact that I don't like people who assert that their way is the ONLY way they can succeed/be happy when the fact is they obviously haven't done their homework; if he had, he'd realize that while monogamy may be great for some couples, for others it's just not the best fit. And that it's NOT the only option for a fulfilled life. He's either extremely closed-minded or he's had a bad experience. I guess we have to understand that these "professionals" are people too, and being human, bring their baggage along with them when they're counselling others.

 

Personally, I think therapy is a waste of time and money and a lesson in condescension... but again my advice is biased here: I tried therapy once for a depression problem and it sucked. The counsellor kept calling me by the wrong name...after I'd been to see her several times! Yeah, like she really cared eh?

[Alura 2,774]

I never met a counselor who was totally sane.

 

All of the drug counselors I've met smoked weed. (I've met none professionally.) One of them dealt hashish to his clients. "It keeps them off heroin," he said.

 

I think Dr. Phil is a megalomanic, sorely in need of "counseling." It would do him a world of good to smoke a joint.

 

[Vespertine 31]

Alura said:

I never met a counselor who was totally sane.

 

All of the drug counselors I've met smoked weed. (I've met none professionally.) One of them dealt hashish to his clients. "It keeps them off heroin," he said.

 

I think Dr. Phil is a megalomanic, sorely in need of "counseling." It would do him a world of good to smoke a joint.

 

 

Well I can tell you, Mr. Alura...

 

I used to manage a psychiatric practice, and I think the doctors were far more eccentric than their patients.

 

Not only that, I think they had better pot too.

[WesternSwing 504]

Dr. Phil is an ass. I know someone who was on his show with their spouse. They went back on 30 days later to show how Dr. Phil had "cured" them and their relationship was good as gold. But nothing had changed at all. Nothing. Only the perception the TV camera gave you. 30 days is not long enough to "cure" this couple's problem. In fact it's been a year and they still have the same problem.

 

Entertainment or therapy??? My vote is entertainment.

[Mr. Mac 15]

OK, everybody this is it maybe lighten the moment of all this.....

 

IMO....It's ....all .....a ....coverup!!!!!

 

He is really a swinger!!!!!

 

[borrowlend 15]

I'm afraid I have to respectfully disagree on the majority opinion on Dr. Phil. I'm not a regular viewer of his show but I have seen it from time to time. And I have to say that he's generally on the right track in counceling people with problems.

 

Dr. P seems to take a no-nonsense, straightforward approach to people; I notice a similar approach by Dr. Joy Brown--she's on AM radio (and she's actually better at it than Phil, come to think of it). Anyway, many people have problems and issues because they get stuck in a certain mindset and it takes a stern rebuke to jolt them into changing. Sure, this can come across as rude and arrogant (although it usually doesn't need to), but it can be effective.

 

I can't recall specific shows I watched except one in which a twenty-something guy was in a rut. He "couldn't get a job" and played video games all day long while the bills mounted. Dr. P just went right at him, asking him to explain why he couldn't get a job. There were no adequate answers to justify his inaction, and Phil's relentless approach forced the guy to awknowledge this fact. Then he gave him some very commonsense steps to take to get back on track. I don't know if it worked but if the guy did as he was instructed he must've gotten unstuck.

 

On the other hand, I do find Phil to have a tendency towards counceling husbands to be too submissive. I think that is dead wrong and that a man and woman can maintain equality in their relationship without having to neuter the man.

 

Also, obviously, I think he's wrong in flatly criticizing swinging. I agree with earlier posts that pointed out that councelers see people with problems-so their only exposure to swinging is through the experiences of troubled couples.

 

I personally believe that swinging is the perfect solution to the problems of infidelity and the 4-year and 7-year "itch." Face it, we are biologically programmed to desire and seek out a variety of sexual partners. Restricting sexual activity to committed, loving relationships essentially forces people to deny themselves a part of their inherent nature. This is not to say that we must succumb to our every biological imperative--ultimately that would spell disaster. But a mutually secure couple can satisfy that occasional craving without damaging, but rather, enhancing their relationship. For those that can accomodate this aspect of their nature, why not do so?

 

soapbox (Here I go pontificating off-topic!) I've always been annoyed with the notion that you can only find your S/O attractive and be interested in sex with them only. For most people, that is simply not true. There are 2 seeds of my interest in swinging, I think.

 

1. Reading "The Anatomy of Love" by Helen Fisher. I highly recommend this anthropological study of the evolutionary pressures that have resulted in the nature of human sexuality. It is written to be accessable to the general reading public, fear not. At the time it left me feeling a bit in dispair--because the evidence strongly suggests that sexual interest in others is inevitable, thus making couples have to exercise increasingly difficult self-denial, or commit adultery, or get divorced.

 

2. A few years later, a friend described his relationship with his girlfriend and mentioned that they both awknowledged to one another that they find other people attractive...what a revelation! To think that a man and woman could actually admit to each other this seemingly obvious but typically denied truth. There was no mention of swinging at that time (I have no reason to believe that they did that). In fact, back then swinging only existed on the periphery of my consciousness, as something that some very few people engaged in. But ultimately, that conversation in union with my understanding of human sexuality led me to swinging.

 

People often call the Joy Brown radio show with this problem: "I've cheated on my spouse and I ended the affair but I can't live with this guilt. Should I tell my husband/wife?" And her answer is always, "no." Right or wrong, her view is that the only purpose a confession would serve would be to relieve your own guilt--at the expense of your s/o's feelings. Here's the relevant point, though: during one of these calls, she explained that psychiatrists have found that infidelity (when it doesn't blow up in your face) actually enhances a couple's sex life. I haven't investigated these studies but I can think of a few reasons why this is the case, as I'm sure most here can too.

 

So, we naturally are attracted to people other than our s/os, our society makes such admissions taboo, and sex outside of relationships enhances the sex within relationships. Conclusion: swinging. I have to wonder if Dr. Phil is out of step with his peers on this issue. Maybe not, but one wonders if eventually swinging will be officially recognized as a psycologically healthy form of relationship, perhaps in the same way that homosexuality was eventually removed from the list of mental disorders many years ago.

 

By the way, speaking of Oprah's swinging episode, didn't you just love that look of horrified but intense intrigue that she and the audience had? Priceless!

[VegasLee 1,486]

I think one thing that everyone is forgetting here.

 

Dr. Phil is for entertainment and ratings only. He is not really there for anything more or less then that.

 

If he gets to "real" and does the job of a Doc no one is going to watch the show.

 

T.V. is entertainment and to distract people from their real life.

[midnight hour 16]

I seen the previews, mostly of him screaming with veins bulgin' and I told myself I can not see any honest to Gawd swinger jumping up and down waving their hands going *Me! Me! Pick me to be on the Dr. Phil Show so I can have my guts ripped out and spread across the stage on national TV!*

 

So Dr. Phil is going to expose how crazy the lifestyle is hmm...well I can guarantee you that he has went out and found every dysfunctional swinger listed in the crazy pages...I might be wrong but he will have the ones on there whose husbands forced them to be sex slaves, and I am sure a porn addiction or two will be thrown in along with the evils of computers bringing this into the home, and then the ones who have ran off with other lovers...

 

oh it must be ratings week...it should be fun for entertainment value only, and to watch the bible thumpers come out on his message boards too...posted about this on a vanilla site, I love to watch the locals get their panties in a wad...I soon got back a OMG they had their kids in the house...anything *involving* kids is sick... they said their daughter was upstairs...no age...infant maybe? However no kids were involved in the swinging, but the idea has been planted...because this is all the one person could rant about...almost everyone I know would never play with children in the home...well ones that are big enough to wander around on their own that is. I do not think it is horrible if there is a infant etc. in the house...now 12-year-olds getting food out of the fridge...hmm okay a little too much...

[intuition897 2,179]

midnight hour said:

So Dr. Phil is going to expose how crazy the lifestyle is hmm...well I can guarantee you that he has went out and found every dysfunctional swinger listed in the crazy pages...I might be wrong but he will have the ones on there whose husbands forced them to be sex slaves, and I am sure a porn addiction or two will be throwed in along with the evils of computers bringing this into the home, and then the ones who have ran off with other lovers...

 

oh it must be ratings week...

 

Are you kidding?! Pick me! Pick me! If needing to be discrete wasn't an issue, I'd love to be on his show. He could certainly try to smear us across the stage, but he'd have a hell of a time dealing with this absolute truth: SWINGING HAS NOT HARMED OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND IT NEVER WILL.

 

If any harm will be done to us, WE will be the ones doing it, not swinging. Sex isn't the problem; the problem is people and their insecurities and hangups. Swinging is just one relationship-building tool we use to push the envelope, push the outer limits, really challenge ourselves... isn't that what Phil is always preaching?? So we rise to these challenges to face our inner demons and conquer them. The result is two very confident, self-respecting, emotionally mature and fulfilled individuals sharing a life together by their own free will... not propped up with a couple of rings and a sheet of paper. My God, he pisses me off. That he could be so blind to something that can be such a beneficial tool to enhancing a relationship.

 

Sorry folks. Getting a little wound up here. But this is one of my 'buttons', and I needed to vent.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Dr. Phil is not a Doctor - he just plays one on TV. Based on the bios I've seen of him, he's basically a used car/ snake oil salesman. He talks good. He does throw out some common sense occasionally though and that is what has gotten him where he is... that and a successful stint as a Motivational speaker that got him the attention of Ms Oprah.

 

Anyone got a date on this show yet?

[Compersor 15]

What Dr. Phil needs, is a good solid gang bang.

[Him & Her 15]

I just watched a promo for Dr. Phil's show and the swinging show is to air on Monday, February 14th. I find it interesting that his wife is always on the show! Does Mrs. Phil not trust the good doc? Maybe a third in bed would be too threatening but for whom?

[WesternSwing 504]

We'll see what he says. Kind of interesting though since from what I understand Oprah's show on swingers was pretty much "whatever floats your boat".

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

I have decided not to watch.

I don't need someone in my living room for an hour telling me what a bad person I am.

 

If I thought he was going to at least show both sides I would watch. But from seeing the previews for the show, that is not his plan.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Not watching either. It would just piss me off.

[HotMoCpl 20]

I'm almost willing to bet that there is a "dark" side to Dr. Phil....exactly "what" I do not know. Maybe I don't want to know.

 

Maybe WE don't want to know. Surrender Last thing we need is a one sided idiot.

 

Cheers? I think.

[WesternSwing 504]

HotMoCpl said:

I'm almost willing to bet that there is a "dark" side to Dr. Phil....exactly "what" I do not know. Maybe I don't want to know.

 

Maybe WE don't want to know. Surrender Last thing we need is a one sided idiot.

 

Cheers? I think.

 

As has been said "An opinion is only dangerous when you have but one opinion".

[flassh 15]

Will the Dr. Phil show, covering swinging, present a fair viewpoint on the topic and more specifically, the nature of open relationships and if sex can be recreational for a loving couple? Does intimacy get diluted or emotional bonds broken for swinging couples?

 

I suspect that the show caters to those that are incapable of experiencing recreational anything let alone asking the important questions about how we as loving people need to have fun with many areas of life. The problems are there for all of us and the real questions is not so much about the morality etc, but more to do with how we treat each other and follow through with commitments. Our kids should remain at the top of our list...before anything else. But will Dr. Phil's show even begin to address those concepts of being responsible and how to be honest with ones partner about sex and fantasies etc.

[tweedle 16]

Back about the time of cave drawings first becoming pornographic...

 

My first wife and I had a swinging/open relationship (all same room stuff).

 

We went into that lifestyle with all the hang-ups we'd been raised with.

 

The demise of our marriage was no more a result of the swinging than swinging was a result of our insecurities.

 

We were both horn-dogs, plain and simple. At least we were honest about our fantasies and drives.

 

These many years later, she's expressed many times that she wishes now she could have "matured" in or before our marriage so that she could have enjoyed the fruits of its potential.

 

IF people enter a swinging lifestyle to "fix" a set of problems it's gotta be more like dousing a fire with kerosene. They're two distinct sets of issues.

 

I not only participated - but my friends in the nudist lifestyle have allowed me to be VERY aware of how things have gone these last couple of decades.

 

I am in appreciative awe of those whose passions can be openly experienced in a healthy and accepting relationship. It can be great.

 

My own experiences were about a third utterly fantastic ~ another third "so-so" ~ and a final third roughly a waste of time and not nearly what was desired.

 

As for Dr. Phil ~ it must hit a little close to his inner "home", or he probably wouldn't have such strong "beliefs" against it. Just my opinion, which (like anal opennings) we all have and too often cast a less than pleasant "air".

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

I for one can't stand Dr. Phil. To me he's a very narrow & closed minded asshole. The only show he's done that I had any interest in was about potty training stubborn kids.

 

I don't plan on watching his show especially if he's only showing one side of the issue.

 

My thinking is, if I want to have someone come down on me for being a swinger I'll just tell my family, I know my younger brother would say I'm gonna burn in hell, he's a pastor. lol

 

Now Tazzie & I are not about to tell her family either, but at least her family is a little more open minded.

 

 

Smiley, good for you being a stay at home mom, Tazzie did that for a few years and loved it, myself I've been a stay at home dad, and I have enjoyed it also.

 

Hope you all have a Very Happy Valentines Day.

[bachlob8 15]

Thanks everyone for all your info on dr. phil. I always thought he was too full of himself and very judgmental of others lives.

[robnbarb 40]

OK overall I hate phil, but I will say some good things about him. First, sometimes people need someone to get in thier face. A good example is the video game guy earlier, I know my grandparents gave me a quick kick in the paints back in the day, and I thank them for it now (back then I thought they were jerks though).

 

However, Phil doesn't approch that from a careing standpoint. He does it from a judgemental one, and while some people will argue there is no difference, there most definatly is.

 

My Uncle had an drinking and gambling problem for instance. He needed people outside the family to come to him and tell him what a jerk he was for him to see it (which one of his friends did rather harshly). But he came at him from a point that "your family is suffering due to you, you are the one who can change that. Stop being a jerk" Rather than "you are a jerk for keeping these problems going." Not much difference I realize, but after a bit of reflection, I think a world of difference can be seen.

 

Therapy itself isn't a bad thing, on the therepist, and Phil isn't one. Nevermind he isn't a good one, he just isn't one at all. He is "I am great, you are tiny." not the way to build a person up, which is the way a therapist is supposed to do.

[intuition897 2,179]

(I think this thread should be changed to "Let's bash Phil" )

 

I think Phil has stumbled onto a profound truth which is this: common sense, and the Golden Rule. Duh! Any idiot has access to these things. Common sense, contrary to popular opinion, is not something only the talented few possess; it's a skill we learn. Some folks just learn early on in life the way to look at things objectively and realistically. The thing I hate is that he's thinks he's cornered the market on common sense and is THE go-to person when it comes to treating others the way one wants to be treated ones' self. What a load of bull. Every now and then he drops a nugget of truth on an enchanted sea of adoring disciples and they buy into it. Did you realize that you can buy the Dr. Phil T-shirt? Yeah, I really want to one of those sheep :rollseyes:. You know, I think the saddest thing of all is the thousands and thousands of people who tune in to each and every show waiting to be told how to live their lives. Here's a nugget of common sense for ya: the only person who truly knows what is best for himself or his relationship with others is ones' self, not some megalomaniac who has never met you or your spouse, has never met your kids, your boss, your neighbours, your inlaws, etc. and has never walked a mile in your shoes. The problem lies in the fact that it's often easier to ignore an unpleasant truth, so it gets ignored or buried rather than dealt with. Philsie just figured out that forcing ones' self to deal with these problems - or in his case, cornering people on national TV and forcing them to own up to their most horrible personal demons for all to see - is a step in the right direction. *sigh* Ok, I'm done. Anyone else want to climb up on my soapbox?

[dave110256 21]

I watched the show today. The couple that was on was not representative of an average couple in the lifestyle. The woman of the couple was not attracted to her husband sexually and needed sex elsewhere....the man claimed he was only doing this for her. It sounded to me that neither one of them belonged in the lifestyle and their marriage had problems before "she" decided to venture into this lifestyle.

 

Dr Phil (of course) was all over the couple and didn't have anything good or informative to say about swinging. Why can't these shows ever show a "happy" married couple who can articulate our point of view on this subject without backing down to the media?

[tracy1878 19]

I watched the show today, and didn't think it was too terrible... it was only a small portion of the show about swingers... I've seen him rant and rave worse then he did today, and I don't really even watch the show! His main point (or so I thought) was their daughter's safety while they are playing. He showed a lot of concern about a guy seeing their daughter, or her picture, and zeroing in on her. Which is a concern I think most of us have, and is the main reason we usually only swing at clubs or in hotel rooms.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch the show today and after reading about it on Dr. Phil's website I have no desire to do so.

 

I went to his website to see what he had to say about it and I was reading through the posts on the message board and found a message by the people being interviewed. They weren't there to represent the lifestyle, they were there to fix whatever problem they were trying to fix with the lifestyle. In their post they stated they were disappointed with how the show focused on the swinging aspect and not as much about the problem they were trying to fix in the first place. Reading about their problem this definitely isn't a couple who should be swinging... I'll have to agree with Dr. Phil about that. But I know he doesn't believe in it at all so that's all the further I can agree with.

 

If you want to read what the couple had to say about their experience on the show you can check it out on hismessage board on his website, they posted it on the 13th.

[ALilOEverything 901]

Why can't these shows ever show a "happy" married couple who can articulate our point of view on this subject without backing down to the media?

 

Well I think this one is a little different. They weren't there to support the lifestyle or defend it, but to get help for their issue that caused them to turn to it to begin with. For him to have a happily married couple it would defeat the purpose of him helping marriages in times of need.

[Alura 2,774]

Wow! 37.3% have considered swinging with another couple! Are we stuffing the ballot box or are there more of us than we thought?

[curious49251 15]

I was a bit miffed at the insinuation that if you are into inviting swingers into your home you are also inviting rapists, murderers and pedophiles. As if there isn't that possibility with any other group of people. The idea of doing background checks on everyone you bring into your home is quite silly. I would be willing to bet Dr. Phil doesn't do background checks on everyone invited into his home. But swingers should have backgound checks? It just feeds the stereotype that all of us are sex-starved maniacs one step away from criminal activity.

 

I knew I shouldn't have watched that show

[intuition897 2,179]

Alura said:

Wow! 37.3% have considered swinging with another couple! Are we stuffing the ballot box or are there more of us than we thought?

 

Mr. Alura

 

Nah, the poll only asked if we had thought about swinging, not if we'd actually tried it. The numbers would be smaller still if he'd reworded it.

 

I sent a comment about the show transcript. I didn't include a full name or daytime phone number as required, so I have no idea if I'll get a response. I personally have no problem defending my convictions about swinging but due to the NEED for discretion (as the good DR. so often demands, "What about the children?!"), we can't go on national TV and display our sex lives for all (our parents, our kids' friends' parents, neighbours, employers, etc.) to see. No, the details of a couples' sex life should remain private. I don't need to know exactly what they look like or their names or where they live or anything to hear their story; why does the media insist that we're cowards if we protect our modesty??

 

If you're interested, this is what I sent Philsie:

 

I have more to say about swinging that a little text box can contain. To start with, my husband and I are in the lifestyle. We are one of "those people" that Phil so eloquently pointed out are nothing but rapists, murderers, sickos, self-delusional sex-starved maniacs, etc.

 

The couple you hosted on your show, sir, had NO business swinging. Frankly I'm somewhat inclined to agree about the questionable character of their swinging partners; any couple worth their salt wouldn't touch these two with a 10 foot pole. Their attitudes are COMPLETELY opposite from the fundamental concept of swinging, which is about building on a marriage, not trying to fill a void that shouldn't even be there. It's a gift that is given to each other and one graciously received. Never expected nor taken for granted. Swinging is not the cause of the break up of so many marriages; it merely acts as a magnifying glass to problems that were pre-existing.

 

About us: we are 30/33, married 10.5 years, swinging for 4.5 years, a great sex life since day 1 (and getting better every day) and head over heels in love...with each other. Do your homework.

[intuition897 2,179]

OMG.. here I go again browsing the stupid Phil/Oprah boards. Here's a gem!:

 

SWINGERS ARE INSANE!!

 

saintholy 02.14.05 - 2:32pm (1.2.5)

 

Swinging is a perversion, due to a hormonal imbalance. You need to seek treatment. Masturbation is an option, for your hormonal chemical imbalance. Anti-depressants help, very well. Get help, before you have children. You don't want them to get screwed up.