Are you "One Night Stand" swingers?

[CLITFRIEND 15]

You know folks, some people just put the most interesting TMI on their profiles. I just read one from a single male from another site who put right into his profile "I am looking for couples and females who really don't mind the few and far in between one night stands, since I don't have enough time to commit to any serious relationship!" His words. Not mine. I do have to admit, I have to admire his somewhat honesty.

 

But it made me think of something. Maybe just the slim one or two person actually looking for the one night stand. Now here is my question though; How successful do you suppose these individuals are and would this be something that you would be involved with?

 

And along with this question, maybe this could be a twist. If you attend a swingers party and end up playing with people at that party, and that was it, would you consider that to be a one night stand you just experience, and in a strange sense, maybe even sought?

[jcbicouple 24]

CLITFRIEND said:

-How successful do you suppose these individuals are--and would this be something that u would be involved with?

 

We've tended to be very successful. We have always preferred one night stands. We aren't looking for "friendships" or people to hang out with. We enjoy meet ups and seeing friends from the board or whatever. We enjoy seeing our friends at the swing club, and having fun, laughing etc. However, we have no personal contact outside of talking at the club or through the internet. We very much prefer to keep our home lives separate from our play lives, and one night stands are one way to assure that.

 

 

CLITFRIEND said:

And along with this question--maybe this could be a twist--if u attend a swingers party and end up playing with people right at that party--and that was it---would you consider that to be a one night stand you just experience?

 

Possibly. Some people go to the club and either don't go back or are there on nights that you aren't.

 

However, There are those that you see whenever you go, and we wouldn't consider them one night stands. They are our friends, we enjoy spending time with them, but we made a choice that we aren't willing to change in the near future. They understand and respect that.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

We have right in our tag line:

 

"No strings, No long term Friendship".

 

One night of fun sounds like fun to us.

 

We have to meet in a social enviroment and we have to click first but that doesn't mean we have to have you over for a barbeque the next day.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Mr&Mrs-naughty and jcbicouple said it best.

 

We love the club we are at here in Vegas. Half of the people are regulars that many we have become friends with over the years but the other half is tourists that come and go each week. Always someone new and we know that we will never see most of them again in our life.

 

We don't mind making friends with some people later but the best part is we can have fun with people knowing that we are not going to have the day to day with them later.

[Vespertine 31]

jcbicouple said:

We've tended to be very successful. We have always preferred one night stands. We aren't looking for "friendships" or people to hang out with......

 

...We very much prefer to keep our home lives separate from our play lives, and one night stands are one way to assure that.

 

Dito

 

We feel the same way!

[CLITFRIEND 15]

Well---I must say I am surprise. I must be as Naive as I originally thought I was. I just see so many profiles that has listed "not looking for one night stand"--that when I saw that guy's profile--it just struct me in a strange way. So then--from what I am gathering here is taht it is not unusual, nor is it neccessary a bad thing to be looking for a one night stand then?

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

..... So then--from what I am gathering here is taht it is not unusual, nor is it neccessary a bad thing to be looking for a one night stand then?

 

Not for us.

 

Everyone has there own take on swinging. Some want their swinging partners to become close friends. Some want to have a few regular partners but keep them totally seperate from their vanilla lives. Some want to take advantage of some rare free time to have a night of wild fun and move on.

 

Sometimes those different takes on swinging are incompatible. That's why it is important to be blunt and honest in your profile. No one wants to be misled and end up in a situation they were not looking for.

 

Does any of the above make one swinger better than another? Absolutely not.

 

Everyone has there own thing and as long as you find others who are looking for the same as you, everyone is happy.

[findtime 16]

We're the same...friendship not necessary.

[TNT 1,155]

Everyone has there own take on swinging. Some want their swinging partners to become close friends. Some want to have a few regular partners but keep them totally seperate from their vanilla lives. Some want to take advantage of some rare free time to have a night of wild fun and move on.

 

We are kind of a mix of all of the above.

 

We have some people we have become very close friends with as well as playmates. One couple who actually know where our house is, of course they are neighbors, so not sure if that counts or not, , and one single man, but he was a high school friend and grew up with us, so not sure if he counts or not either.

 

Those mentioned above and two other couples have our home phone number...no one else does.

 

We also have friends that we enjoy but only see them at swinger events...they know a little about our lives but basically it's centered around our swinging lives and that's the way we want to keep it.

 

There has also been the occasional one night stands, which were all enjoyable and left totally at that.

 

We aren't necessarily looking for strong friendship relastionships with anyone, those that it has happened with, happened over years of association with them in a swinging environment. We basically are looking for group sex and don't mind keeping it purely at that but are also not opposed to it becoming more.

 

 

Teresa

[funtoplay 15]

Everyone seems to be saying that they are more interested in the "one night stand scenario" than making friends, so I thought I would share my...philosophy...I guess you could say. To me, it seems like an awfully lonely way to go about things. I am not saying that everyone into the one night thing is lonely, but for me, part of the fun is getting to know new people. The people we have met since we joined the lifestyle have all become a very special part of our lives. It is a very special, very deep friendship partially because of the physical intimacy we have shared together. Personally, I wouldn't have it anyother way.

[CLITFRIEND 15]

Dang, I wish I would hve put up a poll for this. :rollseyes But I am now curious as to whether or not the one night stand swinging is the majority as to the relationship/friendship swinging? And if the ONS swinging is the majority--it does brings up the question as to why single males are really not successful with the lifestyle? After all--like the guy who put it on his profile--I am sure that quite a few single males are geared towards the prospect of a hit and run night?

 

As for me, personally--I did join to seek relationships--especially with a single female to share the lifestyle as paart of our relationship. I do have a couple of prospect towards that end---I also have a couple that we I guess u could say have been becoming best friends with each other--we been playing for nearly 2 years.

 

However--I do attend swingers party on occasions--and played at almost every one of them--So I guess I am a 50/50 mix bag here. However--I still would like to know--what dampers the success of single males if a good portion of swingers do not mind the ONS?

[CB_n_Red 16]

We work both ways - one offs at the club (and maybe at parties in the future) and also varying degree of friendship with some couples. One couple in particular are very good friends. Some of our meets with other couples have ended up being one-nighters. We don't usually have fixed notions of how things might work out - I guess we're still the aging hippies! (Thinking back to an early post of ours here).

[RNDNV 16]

Well Clitfriend, I've said it before and I'll likely say it again, swinging is as individual as the couples who do it. Everyone, is different, and we have yet to meet a couple who has a swing philosophy exactly like ours or like any other couple we have met. We have swinger friends with benefits, we have swinger friends w/o benefits, we have had one night swaps, one night groups, and I imagine we will have multiple swaps or groups with "acquaintances" who we don't consider friends. We have found every relationship with another couple is uniquely distinctive from every other relationship in both intimacy and degree, and for any particular angle or fetish you are seeking to fulfill, there is a couple out there that can fill it for you. Now finding that couple, well, that is a whole another topic.

[good times 991]

I thought your poll idea was a good one CF, so I added one to your thread.

 

We don't have a preference, one night stands can be good and we will often have them at the club. If we do become friends with playmates though, that is fine too.

[CLITFRIEND 15]

I thought your poll idea was a good one CF, so I added one to your thread.

 

We don't have a preference, one night stands can be good and we will often have them at the club. If we do become friends with playmates though, that is fine too.

 

Thanks GT--must be good to have the power!!! But I would still like to know--if one night stands are ok to some folks--why are singles males--and I am talking about the good honest--true non abrasive--non selfish--always respectable--ever gentlemenly (did I cover all of the bases--or did I miss something?) more successful in the lifestyle?

[TNT 1,155]

One night stands don't necessarily have to involve single men.

 

 

Teresa

[good times 991]

But I would still like to know--if one night stands are ok to some folks--why are singles males--and I am talking about the good honest--true non abrasive--non selfish--always respectable--ever gentlemenly (did I cover all of the bases--or did I miss something?) more successful in the lifestyle?

 

Am I correct in assuming you meant to say 'if one night stands are ok to some folks--why are singles males--and I am talking about the good honest--true non abrasive--non selfish--always respectable--ever gentlemenly (did I cover all of the bases--or did I miss something?) not more successful in the lifestyle'?

 

If that is the case I would have to say it is because the majority of couples just aren't into single males. I know for our part we only seek out couples to swing with. We haven't ruled out ever playing with a single male but it isn't very high on our list of desires either. Most of the singles that are as you describe that we see regularly at the clubs seem pretty successful to me though. The problem is that, on any given night, for every one with the traits you describe their are about a dozen that don't have those traits and they don't seem to get many offers, which is surprising to no one but them.

[EternallySingle 32]

Thanks GT--must be good to have the power!!! But I would still like to know--if one night stands are ok to some folks--why are singles males--and I am talking about the good honest--true non abrasive--non selfish--always respectable--ever gentlemenly (did I cover all of the bases--or did I miss something?) more successful in the lifestyle?

 

Why are they more successful dating? Why are they more successful in their community? Why are they more successful when they eventually get into a long term relationship? People like to be around them. Although swingers generally have a tendacy to hold single men at a distance longer than they do couples or single women, a pleasant person to be around is a person people generally want to be around. And sometimes, when swinging is part of a person's list of activities, a single man with the qualities you described might be invited to play for one night, even by couples that generally say "No single men never in my lifetime uh uh no way no time no how."

 

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to what people like. Sometimes someone comes along that you just HAVE to know, even if you generally don't like people of that group.

[fireman1 15]

funtoplay said:

Everyone seems to be saying that they are more interested in the "one night stand scenario" than making friends, so I thought I would share my...philosophy...I guess you could say. To me, it seems like an awfully lonely way to go about things. I am not saying that everyone into the one night thing is lonely, but for me, part of the fun is getting to know new people. The people we have met since we joined the lifestyle have all become a very special part of our lives. It is a very special, very deep friendship partially because of the physical intimacy we have shared together. Personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

I agree with you wholeheartedly, when you and your wife or husband make love with another couple it to me is not just a passing fancy it should be considered very special and not just wham bam thank you mam or sir which ever it may be. too me if your not friends first than what are you , anyway that's my thoughts and my opinion right or wrong I think you have the right mind set. 

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

fireman1 said:

when you and your wife or husband make love with another couple....

 

That's the difference.

 

We only make love to EACH OTHER not other people.

 

For us, there is a definite difference between love and sex and the two are easily separated.

 

Our swinging life and our vanilla life are separate and we like to keep those we know from each side on their perspective sides. So the only time we see those from our swinger side is when we have free time to swing.

 

Although, the occasional single male we might know from our vanilla world may sneak across that line every once in a while.

[reguyngirlky 15]

The one night stand is appealing because it is exciting to have sex with a "stranger". Also because you have "no personal connection" or "feeling of obligation" to talk further, just the pleasure you seek and thats that.

 

We would like friends as we feel that our sexual experiences are intimate, personal experiences and we don't want to share intimacy with strangers. We would like to feel comfortable and relaxed with people who share in our sexual pleasures. They would be with friends who we share both a physical attraction as well as some intellectual attraction.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

We have to feel comfortable & relaxed for the "one Night Stand" as well.

 

We have to get to know them somewhat. There has to be a connection, an attraction, and a "click" for it to work.

Just because we prefer the one night stand rather than the friendship 'have them over for a barbeque thing' doesn't mean we will have sex with just anyone.

 

We tried the "freinds" thing and tried to include people we swung with in our Vanilla activities but it didn't work.

 

They either got to clingy or if we couldn't get together with them to hang out or something they would read all kinds of shit into it.

 

"What did we do? Did we make you mad? What's wrong? etc..."

 

 

For some reason feelings seem to be easily hurt when there was/is no reason for them to be.

 

So we just find it easier, less stressful, less work, and more fun to have the occasional MFM and leave it at that.

[reguyngirlky 15]

We understand and agree with your points MR&MRS-naughty.

 

Thanks for the insight.

 

This is why we are here to learn and refine our statements.

 

We are looking for friends to have sex with not by any means barbeque, Christmas type friends. I think most people call this type of friendship "play-friends"?

[HotMoCpl 20]

Yea, big mistake. So here's the way I see it. He's cheating. That's why you'll only see him...."few and fara between". His words, not mine.

[WesternSwing 504]

Our preference is not for one night stands. It seems knowing someone better makes the whole situation more comfortable and thus better.

[WesternSwing 504]

HotMoCpl said:

Yea, big mistake. So here's the way I see it. He's cheating. That's why you'll only see him...."few and far between". His words, not mine.

 

Yeah, that crossed my mine, also.

[oldfella_can74 15]

During my swinging years I much preferred a longer relationship between my lady and me with others. A ONS can be fun but after more meetings you get 'in tune' with others making it more exciting and at the same time with less pressure. Any ONSs we had usually meant there was no real connection, just a 'wham bam' thing.

[autumn528 16]

The idea of a one night stand is exciting to us as we would like to explore a side of ourselves and avoid the potential hassles that may come with a relationship. Either way, it has to be no pressure.

[intuition897 2,179]

I agree with you whole heartidly when you and your wife or husband make love with another couple it to me is not just a passing fancy it should be considerd very special and not just wham bam thank you mam or sir which ever it may be. too me if your not friends first than what are you , anyway thats my thoughts and my opinion right or wrong I think you have the right mind set. sincerely fireman1...

 

I agree with the Naughty's as well. One night stands are lots of fun, but I absolutely hate that term. It seems detached, unfeeling, and cold. Which we are anything but. Basically, you click with people, hang out with them for the evening and have some fun. You're friends in a very temporary way. Beyond that night, there aren't and never should be any expectations. There's no "Where were you? I called but you weren't at home?", "I thought we meant something to you", "We need to discuss our relationship"...etc, etc, etc. Hey, my relationship with Mr. intuition takes up about 50% of my emotional energy and the kids take up the other 70%. (You do the math). Neither of us has the emotional energy to sustain another relationship anywhere close to the one we have now. Nor do we have any interest in doing so if we did have the energy. Instead, we'd rather just be friends for the evening, treating others with dignity and respect, and have a helluva good time with it.

[oldfella_can74 15]

I certainly didn't mean that anything more than good friends and good sex were involved but it was best if it was more than a ONS. We made many friends during this period and enjoyed meals and other activities with them not always involving sex. If sex was involved it was between friends not potential permanent partners threatening current relationships.

[its_fun_for_us 15]

We've been involved only with a friendship type exclusive relationship and it gets really hard....

 

Mrs Fun

[Estaque 15]

We're relatively new to swinging, but one night stands are all that we're really interested in. "Find 'em, flirt with 'em, fuck 'em and forget 'em" is pretty much the credo we're going with. We have our own "relationship" and one is more than enough for us. Just looking to spice up our own sex life. Don't really get the idea of wanting to "date" another couple; just sounds like there's something missing from their own relationship if that's what they're out to do. But to each his/her own!

[intuition897 2,179]

We're relatively new to swinging, but one night stands are all that we're really interested in. "Find 'em, flirt with 'em, fuck 'em and forget 'em" is pretty much the credo we're going with. We have our own "relationship" and one is more than enough for us. Just looking to spice up our own sex life. Don't really get the idea of wanting to "date" another couple; just sounds like there's something missing from their own relationship if that's what they're out to do. But to each his/her own!

 

I'm inclined to disagree somewhat, Estaque. True, to each his/her own. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to swing. But I don't think that the long-term-friendship-type swingers have relationship issues just because they prefer that. Some people sway more towards polyamory and welcome new emotional bonds. This does not undermine their primary relationship, nor does it threaten it in any way. Sure it can complicate it a lot if they let it, which is why Mr. and I, personally, don't adhere to a polyamorous lifestyle. Now if the couple is looking to find new relationships because they are lonely in their own, that would definitely signify a huge problem.

 

Then at the other end, there are those who prefer to so emotionally detach themselves from their swing partners that they treat them like walking dildos. To me, this hints at insecurities in their own relationship. Why do they feel threatened by human warmth outside of their own relationship? Maybe it's just the phrase you used, "Find 'em, flirt with 'em, fuck 'em and forget 'em", that didn't sit well with me. I think it's just my own definition of 'fuck' that causes this; I make love to my husband, I have sex with/play with our swinging friends, but I never 'fuck' anyone. And no, I'm not missing out on anything. To 'fuck' someone is to use them, to degrade them, and not give them the level of respect that they deserve. Likewise, I'd be somewhat offended if someone tried to 'fuck' me. What the hell am I, chopped liver?? Good, hot, raunchy, nasty sex is one thing...somebody fucking you is another. Again, this is my own definition.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

intuition897 said:

Then at the other end, there are those who prefer to so emotionally detach themselves from their swing partners that they treat them like walking dildos. To me, this hints at insecurities in their own relationship. Why do they feel threatened by human warmth outside of their own relationship?

 

This is where I would have to disagree. We don't treat the guys we play with like walking dildos, unless they ask for it.

 

But the emotionally detached part- You betchya! And I would have to say there are no insecurities behind it.

 

We aren't threatened by human warmth.

 

Swinging, for us, is about having fun. I don't care how many times we try to explain this to those we swing with, if we see them enough times they start to make things complicated. Complicated is not fun.

 

If we can't get together they want to know why and even when we tell them they seem to doubt our story. If we meet and don't have sex they wonder why we are mad or what they did wrong etc...

 

We will tell them once maybe twice. If we are explaining ourselves again for the third time....

 

We gave up trying to convince others that our life doesn't revolve around them or swinging and we don't have to fuck every time we meet.

We just don't have time for that shit.

 

Once we find ourselves not wanting to answer the phone when it rings, it's time to move on. We don't have time to coddle their insecurities.

 

Of course this hasn't happened with everyone we have swung with but it has happened enough for us not to let it get to that point.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

This is where I would have to disagree. We don't treat the guys we play with like walking dildos, unless they ask for it.

 

But the emotionaly detatched part- You betchya! And I would have to say there are no insecurities behind it.

 

We aren't threatened by human warmth.

 

Swinging, for us, is about having fun. I don't care how many times we try to explain this to those we swing with, if we see them enough times they start to make things complicated. Complicated is not fun.

 

If we can't get together they want to know why and even when we tell them they seem to doubt our story. If we meet and don't have sex they wonder why we are mad or what they did wrong etc....

We will tell them once maybe twice. If we are explaining ouselves again for the third time....

 

We gave up trying to convince others that our life doesn't revolve around them or swinging and we don't have to fuck everytime we meet.

We just don't have time for that shit.

 

Once we find ourselves not wanting to answer the phone when it rings, it's time to move on. We don't have time to coddle thier insecurites.

 

Of course this hasn't happened with everyone we have swung with but it has happened enough for us not to let it get to that point.

 

With single guys, I can understand your take on things, Naughties. I could definitely see how a single guy could begin to get too attached if there was too much emotional interaction. But, I think with couples, the dynamic changes a little. Since (we presume) in a couple they already have a partner, it's less likely that an unusually close bond would form between the foursome.

 

Now, we've had a few "one night stands", but to me, the most fun has been with couples who are really our friends. Not that we're all joined at the hip, but we genuinely give a sh*t about what goes on in their lives, just like with our 'nilla friends. We get together, and it's a no pressure situation and we have a good time no matter if there's play involved or not.

 

Pepper

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Mr&Mrs-naughty said:

This is where I would have to disagree. We don't treat the guys we play with like walking dildos, unless they ask for it.

 

But the emotionally detached part- You betchya! And I would have to say there are no insecurities behind it.

 

We aren't threatened by human warmth.

 

Swinging, for us, is about having fun. I don't care how many times we try to explain this to those we swing with, if we see them enough times they start to make things complicated. Complicated is not fun.

 

If we can't get together they want to know why and even when we tell them they seem to doubt our story. If we meet and don't have sex they wonder why we are mad or what they did wrong etc..

 

We will tell them once maybe twice. If we are explaining ourselves again for the third time....

 

We gave up trying to convince others that our life doesn't revolve around them or swinging and we don't have to fuck every time we meet.

We just don't have time for that shit.

 

Once we find ourselves not wanting to answer the phone when it rings, it's time to move on. We don't have time to coddle their insecurities.

 

Of course this hasn't happened with everyone we have swung with but it has happened enough for us not to let it get to that point.

 

I need to revise my post a little.

 

I originally wrote it thinking of those who we met specifically through the lifestyle, not friends that we knew in our vanilla world first.

 

Mrs naughty and I talked about this a little and realized that those who have gotten "clingy" were those we have met through the life style.

 

All of the single vanilla friends that Mrs Naughty has corrupted have been nothing but pleasant. And since we are friends before corruption takes place, there is an emotional connection.

 

I think the reason we never had any issues with those we were friends with before corruption is because they know who we are, they respect our boundaries, they respect our relationship, and they know Mrs naughty isn't out looking to replace me.

 

Oh ya....plus they don't want me to kick their ass.

 

So anyway, to sum up my revision:

 

I guess we have swung with emotional attachments but it only seems to work if they were vanilla first, and the more we thought about it we noticed those are the occasions we enjoy the most

[Jamie&Kieth 36]

Never really enjoyed "one night stands", I enjoy knowing the others and becoming intimate with them.

[lostnwilds 15]

I have to be honest, I have only had one one night stand in my life. That was mrs lost, and that was 16 years ago yesterday

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I only read the first few posts and the last couple, but from what I gathered "one night stand" in this thread is suppose to represent not wanting to become friends with your swing partners, not wanting to see them for any reason but to swing. If that is the definition of a one night stand, I'm okay with that.

 

I, however, define one night stand as looking for sex with someone only once, and not wanting to ever see them again.

 

With my definition my answer to the poll is NO, hell no! I'm always hoping the sex will be so good the first time that I'll want to go back for more!

[blasterguam 15]

I guess my take on this would be "maybe". We always enjoy friendships, but we are not in this to necessarily create (or look for) a friendship. We constantly remind each other that it is only about the sex and our pleasure. If a friendship happens, then it's a bennie and cool, but that is not what it is about for us.

This might sound a little cold, but like was previously stated there are different reasons for being in this lifestyle....ours has more emphasis on the pleasure (for us) and less on the friendship.

[Johnd2005 15]

I voted no for one night stands, if the definition is just bang away and not care about the other person.

 

I am into MFM threesomes and the best is the first-timer.

 

It sometimes takes some time to convince the lady or to make her feel comfortable and to do that she has to trust you to care and listen.

 

However, when a nice horny lady wants it right now, that's OK!

[DBL D 120]

I think this is a great thread and have had conflicting thoughts about it. If we meet someone and they turn our crank, then I want to know more about them. I want to know that they want to see us again. We don't need to screw every time we see a couple but it helps. I feel a little used when I find someone who just wants the sex that one time only. I also feel the other person is not as sincere for some reason, I mean, why wouldn't you want to get to know ME?

 

There is room for everyone's view...

[CuriousInOregon 16]

OK I have to say that I voted Doesnt matter several Months back but NOW I think I have to say I am not looking for one night stands. I want to feel a connection to my Playmate, Im not looking for a Poly just someone that I can also be friends with outside of the bedroom. I know that is not the norm but I think it is gonna be my preference. not to say if I found a Hot stud that wanted to Rock my world I would say no but Mr. Curious and I did discuss that we would like to keep it to couples for now and I would like to know my potential playmate more than just a few hellos on the phone or the computer before I plan an all night Fuck session.

[REALCOLSCOUPLE 15]

We think the 2nd date is always the best. You know the couple a little better and everyone is more relaxed. In all ways possible the chemistry is better for us. We like to be friends with the people we swing with. One nighters are just hardcore and raw sex compared to what can be shared with continued meetings.

[Carol_Danny 17]

REALCOLSCOUPLE said:

We think the 2nd date is always the best. You know the couple a little better and everyone is more relaxed.

 

Yep, you're right. We feel the same way about the 2nd encounter. The first one is always a feeling out process, but the second is usually more fun and more relaxed.

[Chicup 41]

Since we have swingers on our Xmas card list I'd say that answer is 'no' for us as well. We have nothing against a one night stand, but if we hit it off we would much rather meet up again.

[janaandjames 24]

it does brings up the question as to why single males are really not successful with the lifestyle?

 

ummm

single men are successful, especially with us

 

We love MFM and prefer one night stands...so we look for single men to play with.

 

I think the problem is, is that there are just so many single men, that there is the appearance that they are not successful (and of course the married cheaters)...and so many of them are rude and pushy...many do strike out.

 

We put up an ad once seeking single men for play, we got hundreds of responses. Actually responded to maybe 10 , met with 3-4 and played with two of them. So that's less than one percent... but that one percent is highly successful

 

There are lots of MFM going on out there, and the extra M has to come from somewhere

 

jana

[janaandjames 24]

The first one is always a feeling out process, but the second is usually more fun and more relaxed.

 

That's a good point too.

 

We do play with single males, and consider ourselves into one night stands...but normally, when we do play with a single male, it's 3-4 times...we don't usually continue beyond that.

 

You are right, that the second or third time is much better and more relaxed.

 

We consider that a one night stand

Maybe we should call it... short term playing?

 

jana

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

based on the poll it looks like those who either prefer one nighters or who don't mind either way, far outweigh those who won't do them.

 

I think when it comes down to it swinging is about sex and except for those who are absolute friends first and no other way, swinging is always going to involve some level of one night stands. I've always enjoyed developing friendships within the lifestyle but if I'm at a party and want to get it on, I'm not above the possibility of a one night stand.... and if I end up becoming friends with that person and it later becomes more than just a one night stand it's bonus.

[havefuninsun 122]

We answered "no" to the question, but so far, have behaved as most might perceive as being "one night stands." Except for one couple we saw twice, we've not played a second time with those we've met. Clearly, those play sessions didn't make us feel good, for whatever reason (the dreaded DRAMA or other non-compatible things).

 

We are still on our quest of a play couple or possible play circle of trusted folks. Cultivating playmates is a lot of work and time consuming ... and the thrill of the chase is fun, but we'd rather settle on down for a spell ...