Boob size a deal killer

[NJDixieDarlin 15]

We have been talking with a couple for a few weeks now and were planning to meet them this weekend. The great thing about it is they are about 10 minutes from us and we have so much in common that when we talk about our children I sometimes thing that we have the exact same kids (lol). And everyone has expressed a mutual attraction.

 

Here is the problem...I noticed that last night they updated their profile on a swingers website and saw that he had put that having big boobs was a necessity for him. Well, here lies my problem. I have a 34b chest. Definitely not big boobs. So what do I do now?

[Alura 2,774]

I would suggest going ahead with the meeting based on the positive aspects y'all have discovered.

 

There's nothing wrong with B-boobs, Darlin', and if he's willing to pass up an opportunity like you for bigger breasts, he has a problem you haven't discovered yet.

 

Still, the only way to find out is to meet and get to know the couple.

 

I'd also suggest meeting in a restaurant, bar or coffee shop. Have an exit-strategy planned.

 

By the way, I just asked Mrs. Alura (who has large breasts) and she said a man who wanted her for her boobs would never see them, much less feel them.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

If he didn't make that clear earlier on, it's no fault of yours that you don't appear to fit their requirements.

 

Be straightforward, even laugh about it, and say, "Hey, we just noticed your updated profile and it looks like we may not be so compatible after all. I wear a 34B bra. So what do we do now?" I'd include a smiley face laughing after that, then wait and see how they reply. You probably wouldn't want to call them, unless you feel real comfy doing so. An e-mail doesn't put them on the spot like a phone call does. They can think it over before responding.

 

Don't let this get you down. It's one of those bumps in the swinging road. But this could turn out surprisingly well. He may decide a smaller breasted woman has a lot to offer.

 

Let us know how things turn out.

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

Okay, being a guy- I'll transpose "big boobs" for "big penis." As I have a small- but average penis, I do not respond to ads where they are looking for a "big penis."

 

I have no desire to prove to the couple looking for a 9" Johnson that a 5" Johnson can do a more than servicable job. And I would no doubt be selfconscious my whole time with such a couple.

 

So going back to the boobs thing- if I had 34Bs (very nice size IMHO) and they were looking for Ds- I'd say to them "bugger off."

 

People have a right to only want size DDs or 9"+. I think that they are kinda shallow- but that's just my opinion....

[a_couple_in_pa 15]

Have to kinda agree with Nymph an' Satyr. It's everyones right to be as specific as they want to in finding partners.

 

That being said, when someone is so specific that placing "having big boobs is a necessity for him" in their ad, it raises a big red flag. Do you really want the selfconsciousness? I'm curious why he didn't put "prefers big boobs, but likes them all".

 

But as LikeMinds321 suggested, ask him. Sounds like you've got a good relationship started. Would be a shame to loose that based on boob size. Find out from him if it's "mandatory" or if maybe he phrased the ad wrong.

[intuition897 2,179]

I'd have to say that LikeMinds is on the right track with this one. Big boobs might just be a preference, too; no one should have to 'take one for the team', but at the same time some flexibility is going to be necessary if anyone wants to actually 'hook up' with anyone. There's no such thing as the perfect couple. Are they experienced? If they're relatively inexperienced, they may find that what they initially thought was a "necessity" really isn't as necessary to having a good time as they thought. There might be something else about you that really trips his trigger, which outweighs having big boobs (no pun intended). BTW, 34Bs are right down the middle average, so I wouldn't worry about it. As LikeMinds suggested a light-hearted email addressing the issue (smily face included ) might be a nice way to get to the bottom of it.

[ALilOEverything 901]

You know, I make so many typos it's not funny and when I proofread I still can't see them for a couple days, especially grammatical errors. In many cases I make a "isn't" a "is" or a "wasn't" a "was"or a "can't" a "can". It could just be me but to say big boobs are a necessity just doesn't sit right with me. I've seen "We prefer large breasts" but not to the extreme need or necessity associated with it. Just for the heck of it you could just trying asking if he really means "big boobs was a necessity" or if he meant "big boobs wasn't a necessity" (or however he phrased it). I've seen people do it several times on the message boards here too. If you ask if that's what he really meant by it it gives you an opportunity to say how uncomfortable you are that you don't meet his criteria if what he said is true. I wouldn't want to put myself in a position where I felt inadequate because my body didn't meet someone's needs. I don't care to be self conscious and I want swinging to be as fun and carefree as possible. I'm a 34B, they fit my body well and I wouldn't want to be in a position where I felt any less about myself.

[WesternSwing 504]

I think he may like big boobs, but believe me, we're men, all boobs are good boobs.

[DBL D 120]

They would be foolish to turn you down for that. And...IMHO, it's not the same as Small Cock. I guess his plan is to be with only women who have large boobs?

 

Self-limiting.

[arcpl4mfm 15]

Just for the heck of it you could just trying asking if he really means "big boobs was a necessity" or if he meant "big boobs wasn't a necessity" (or however he phrased it).

I think he meant that they were because it also stated how much he loves his wifes 36d breasts.

The hubby said that I am worrying too much for no reason, but I have always been self-concious about my "small" breasts and just worry that now that they added that to their profile, I will be too focused on the fact that I am so small breasted.

[arcpl4mfm 15]

btw, for everyone who is confused about the last post, I didnt realize that I was logged in under arcpl4mfm. That is my current profile...not NJDixieDarlin

[HotMoCpl 20]

I'm always concerned with a womans looks, but necessarily her boob size. Its an absolute MUST that she have something between her ears. More then a mouthful is a waste!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

If he didn't make that clear earlier on, it's no fault of yours that you don't appear to fit their requirements.

 

Be straightforward, even laugh about it, and say, "Hey, we just noticed your updated profile and it looks like we may not be so compatible after all. I wear a 34B bra. So what do we do now?" I'd include a smiley face laughing after that, then wait and see how they reply. You probably wouldn't want to call them, unless you feel real comfy doing so. An e-mail doesn't put them on the spot like a phone call does. They can think it over before responding.

 

 

Dito!

 

Did you guys exchange pics yet? If so, then I would think he is aware of your chest size. If not, then it goes back to the above. And I would say something like that before you meet them. Hopefully, they will go ahead and meet as planned based on the apparant commonalities. But, if big boobs are really that BIG of an issue for him, at least you gave them a chance to opt out.

[WesternSwing 504]

I think he meant that they were because it also stated how much he loves his wifes 36d breasts.

The hubby said that I am worrying too much for no reason, but I have always been self-concious about my "small" breasts and just worry that now that they added that to their profile, I will be too focused on the fact that I am so small breasted.

I agree with your hubby. He may have that as a preference, but probably not as a requirement. I like redheads, but that doesn't mean we only swing with couples where the wife has red hair.

[twoplayful2 16]

Ditto all that stuff. Seems like theres also a fair chance that if his wife has big boobs the necessity is filled anyway

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Folks, we all may be putting the cart before the horse here. NJDixie (or arcpl4mfm) this couple has already agreed to meet with you and you already seem to get along well. Go with it! After all, it is not as if this "big boob" preference suddenly appeared to him this morning. It must have been something he's wanted (for whatever reason) for quite some time. Perhaps as a part of a fantasy? But my point is that despite that, they have already agreed to meet you. So what is the problem?

[curiousRI 15]

I can understand how she feels. I too, am a b cup and not that i have a problem with what i have, but some men just prefer more than a mouthful.

 

I'm thinking though, that if you've been chatting/emailing with this couple, and you've agreed to meet, then if it was such a big deal to the man that the f of the couple they play with have large breasts, then i would think that he would have mentioned that to you in your chats/emails.

 

I also agree that to each his own. People should be allowed to pick and choose who they play with. However, you may miss out on a really good time if there are so many restrictions!

[twoplayful2 16]

Totally agree with CuriousRI, a good point. If it was all that important, good chance he'd have mentioned it by now. I might still mention it anyway, just that you noticed the updated profile and find out how strong a preference it is. It's really not likely to be that big a deal, else he'd have probably had it highlighted on there when he first put the profile up.

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

Most of you are being far kinder than I would be.

 

If he says "Only big boobs need apply," well frankly, I would cop an attitude about it. My attitude would be: "Oh please, don't feel compelled to make an exception for me- go right ahead and find your big boobed woman, I'm outta here." "Don't do me any favors."

 

You want only big boobs?- pound salt Rocko.

 

Like I said- most of you are being far kinder than I

[DBL D 120]

NJDixieDarlin,

 

Personally I think I would go ahead with a meeting and show the guy what you're all about and that there just may be more to life than "Big Boobs"; of which he could be the biggest "Boob" if he sticks with his "preferences".

 

Check out our avatar. He'd turn that down???

 

Show your colors, gilrfriend!

[NJDixieDarlin 15]

Thank you all for your advice. I did email them and said that I saw their profile update and that I was only a 34b and now they are no longer talking to us. So I guess it IS an issue. And while I totally agree that everyone is entitled to their choices and preferences, I am a bit put off by the manner in which they dealt with this. But will not let this stop our quest!

[DBL D 120]

Sorry to hear that! You just head out our way and Fem D and I will show you the proper respect.

 

34 B...Has a nice ring to it.

[NotsoNew 17]

Thank u all for your advice. I did email them and said that I saw their profile update and that I was only a 34b and now they r no longer talking 2 us. So I guess it IS an issue. And while I totally agree that everyone is entitled to their choices and prefenences, I am a bit put off by the manner in which they delt with this. But will not let this stop our quest!

 

 

NJ Dixie -

 

Hopefully, they just have not responded to you yet and are not blowing you off. But if they are, you could be better off without them.

 

I know that it is tough - we had a couple that we had been seeing for some time. All of a sudden, they stopped replying to our emails. We wondered for a time if it was something that we did and then we just let it go. Then we did get an email from them a few weeks ago. Chalking it up to they were looking for new experiences but now don't think they meant it the way it felt to us.

 

Let us know what happens.

[adventureUS2 25]

I have a 34b chest. Definately not big boobs. So what do I do now?

 

If he has a problem with them You could come to our house. I can only assume he has seen pics of you. Alot of men talk crap about big boobs but are just happy to play with any boobs they can get their hands on. If he has seen pics of your body clothed or other wise he already knows what to expect. I wouldn't let it get to you. If you meet them you will most likely know whether or not he is interested.

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Thank u all for your advice. I did email them and said that I saw their profile update and that I was only a 34b and now they r no longer talking 2 us. So I guess it IS an issue. And while I totally agree that everyone is entitled to their choices and prefenences, I am a bit put off by the manner in which they delt with this. But will not let this stop our quest!

Sorry to hear that. Their loss! Now let's see if WE can get together!

[EvilMJ 65]

It's funny because when my friend and I started to play together I was worried about being smaller breasted than her. To prove a point she told me to switch bras with her.....(the men enjoyed this particular experiment) she is a double D and I am somewhere in between C and D. ANyway I actually fit into her bra and she fit into mine. Her's was a tad big, but it did show me that were weren't all that different in size and the perception of her being so much bigger is all in my head.

 

Her hubby said he was a true 'chestnut' and said not to worry that mine were absolutely fine and he thought they were great. So if this guy won't talk to you because you don't fit his ideal I would not worry about it, there are lots of other guys that would think you are great!

[Vespertine 31]

Thank u all for your advice. I did email them and said that I saw their profile update and that I was only a 34b and now they r no longer talking 2 us. So I guess it IS an issue. And while I totally agree that everyone is entitled to their choices and prefenences, I am a bit put off by the manner in which they delt with this. But will not let this stop our quest!

What a LOSER!

 

Thank the Gods you found this out prior to meeting them.

[Miss_Piggy 98]

What a LOSER!

 

Thank the Gods you found this out prior to meeting them.

 

I absolutely agree. You're much better off knowing about these things before letting it go to far.

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

I'll say it again: "Pound salt Rocko."

[BradAndJanet 70]

.....(the men enjoyed this particular experiment) ...

Yeah.

 

I don't know why, but that picture is quite 'stirring'!

 

Weird how that works.

 

-B

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Thank u all for your advice. I did email them and said that I saw their profile update and that I was only a 34b and now they r no longer talking 2 us. So I guess it IS an issue. And while I totally agree that everyone is entitled to their choices and prefenences, I am a bit put off by the manner in which they delt with this. But will not let this stop our quest!

If it has been a couple days since you e-mailed, and you you've not heard from them regarding meeting tonight (Saturday) then I'd say you came out ahead of the game. They have shown themselves to be insensitive and discourteous.

 

It would have been a wasted and disappointing meet if you had not written them in advance and took care of this as you did. You should feel relief in this.

 

There is always the chance of discovering something about people that changes your relationship with them--this was one of those things.

 

Good to see you positive. You have better moments ahead of you...with finer people to meet.

 

LM