Do the ladies prefer Gentlemen or Cavemen?

[Spoomonkey 421]

Okay - here's the thing...

 

I am a gentleman...

 

Maybe too much of one, but I am not sure - so I thought I'd ask you fine folks!

 

When I am in a club, I am not uber-aggressive. I like to move slow, to make sure that I am not crossing any lines - that all of my "actions" are welcome. I can be aggressive - very much so - but the first time playing, I like to move a little bit slower. And, once outside of the playroom (say the next time I see a woman) I don't "assume" that I can bury my tongue down her throat... I tend to be a little more "reserved" about that.

 

Now - the women I have played with twice get more of a "full sense" of spoomonkey - but at that point, I have a pretty good feel of what is okay and what's not.

 

But here's my question - and I think it is a pretty good one...

 

As a "swing wife" what do you prefer? Do you enjoy a more reserved guy who is keeping himself in check to make sure of what you like? Or are you more interested in a "take charge" kind of guy who goes for what he wants, letting you either enjoy or reject what he is doing?

 

My instinct, having been in the lifestyle is actually the latter - that women like a guy to be a bit more aggressive. But - I wanted to hear from you guys. Help me gauge it. The perfect playmate is somewhere between gentleman and caveman. But... Where?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I prefer somewhere in the middle. I don't want to have to wonder if the guy is really into me or if he really wants to be there. But at the same time I don't want to have beat him off with a stick.

[TNT 1,155]

Ted here... I am definitely the reserved gentleman. I have probably missed out on some chances because of it, but I have never been rejected either. I would be horrified if I found that I was thought pushy or making unwanted advances. I have seen the caveman type and some are great guys, I just don't want the burden of saying no to me to be placed on a lady. When she gives me the green light I'll show my stuff.

 

 

Teresa here...I'm with Julie on this one, I like the in the middle type. Someone who will definitely let me know he's into me, but not someone whom I have to constantly move his hands away from me or dodge his lips all night. That gets old real quick and I hate having to come right out and tell a guy to cool it, so when I'm faced with a man that is overly aggressive I find I spend most of the night trying to be in a different place than he is.

 

 

TNT

[cobracpl 15]

I know my wife likes the "confident" guy and I know that borders on aggressive but that doesn't mean that whenever he sees her she is free to be pawed, caressed, kissed, or fondled. That happens during play. I don't ever want to be told to "cool it", so I am a lot reserved in that regard but once things start I know what to do. Even in the straight world (non lifestyle) friends give hugs to my wife, but I do not solicit them from the other wives, even though I would like them. If the other woman doesn't offer the hug I wont initiate. I know I lose some great hugs this way but better to feel better about myself than to be thought of as pushy or perverted.

 

Let's say If we were to attend a party or club, I wouldn't want another guy thinking he has full access to my wife at all times, even though we might have played with him previously. It should be almost as if he would treat us like friends and then see if we were interested in playing with him that night, not just assume he is that sure thing. He might not be what we were looking for. So my suggestion is to be cool until that time of agreement, then be confident in what you want and proceed from there. Just my views on this.

[SnozzberryBlu 83]

Heidi Ho!

 

Me... I love a gentleman.. now not one who hides in a corner and gives me no inkling that he is interested... though to me that is hardly a gentleman, more like a hermit forced out of his recliner at home lol!

 

Total turn offs to me are men who paw, grope.. or ugh.. drool! There is one guy at our club that thinks he is the god of kissing... he should be an ENT with the range he has on that tongue. He nearly strangles me! I don't kiss him anymore. Another one leers at me whenever I am within 20 feet.. a third talks so filthy he would make most LSers blush, and this is supposed to turn me on too, you can tell. One guy thought since he was sitting at the table next to ours and I stood up (facing the other direction) that it was ok to lift my skirt up... needless to say, these guys will never come near me naked!

 

On the other hand, we have a few couples we have been with and the men are sweet, caring, yet sexy and seem to know when and how to grab my ass in just the right way. Because they look me in the eye, don't gawk, and talk to me about everything from politics to idiot drivers.... I feel like a human being. That, for me, allows me to then feel like a very SEXY human being... which, of course, benefits them in the end too!

 

So... Caveman? Come on... I left those bozos in Jr High! LOLOLOL

[CB_n_Red 16]

Red has been telling me recently that maybe I should be more aggressive.... that is, I should take charge a bit more. Like Spoo, I've always tended to want "to make sure that I am not crossing any lines - that all of my "actions" are welcome. "

 

Tricky one and it's probably down to the way I was brought up. With hindsight I can think of numerous occasions where I should have lead rather more.

 

The good bit is that Red has said I should practice being more dominant. That is proving to be a lot of fun!

 

Red says she prefers that middle way. She likes a bloke to be positive but not overbearing.

[HotMoCpl 20]

Hey,

 

I like a "take charge" kind of woman. I'm not into S&M or bondage, but I don't mind if the woman bosses me around and tells me what to do.

[intuition897 2,179]

Great post Spoomonkey!

 

A combination of gentleman and caveman is good. Too far in either direction and it becomes a challenge to endure an entire evening in their company. Yes, even being too gentlemanly. If he's too afraid of offending me to do anything, well that's no fun.

 

Personally, I find an assertive gentleman who shows self-control sexy. One that lets you know in no uncertain terms that he finds you attractive, but at the same time makes you feel completely comfortable with being in charge of the direction that play goes in. Mr. is very much this way. I like to believe that chivalry is not dead; no, we don't like to dress him up in armor and have him call me 'M'Lady' or anything :rollseyes: but I like it when men treat women with respect, dignity and courtesy. I am NOT offended when a man holds the door for me with a smile and some flirty eye contact. Makes my day, actually.

 

The 'Alpha Male Syndrome' is just lost on me. What a waste of time. It's almost laughable when men puff themselves up like a banty rooster and act all cool and aloof. And if they manage to get themselves into bed with us, try to boss me around calling me a b**ch?? I don't think so. Being passionate is ok, and rough sex is definitely ok too as long as the feelings are mutual...but don't EVER call me a b**tch unless you want your ass booted permanently out of my bed. I'm just saying, let's aim for the gallant and noble caveman.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I always like a gentleman. But a gentleman can take some initiative and not be aggressive. Aggressive men are a real turn off for me but also one who is totally passive doesn't do it for me either. So I like a man to take a little initiative but not to be pushy about it.

[graygo98 148]

Spoo

 

Great question... one that has been on my mind recently. And the responses were great too... I gained a lot of insight.

 

But.... the consensus seems to be..., aggressive, but not too aggressive; a gentleman, but not too gentle. Hard to really see where the line is, isn't it?

 

So, for me, I guess I'll stick with going with what feels right and appropriate for the situation. If I err, I'd rather err on the side of too laid back than too pushy. But, still, in the back of my mind I'll be wondering, "Should I push this a little harder?" (No pun intended)

[macallan_neat 16]

We've wondered about this too.

 

I've always held back. I see it as being a gentleman. My wife has said I can afford to be more aggressive.

 

The problem is I don't know what "more aggressive" looks like. I think I know what "overbearing" looks like.

 

But what does a gentlemanly caveman look like?

 

Ladies -- describe the dance we men need to do to help make your evening spectacular. When, where (if?) does he touch you upon meeting or during conversation? How long does he hold your gaze? When does he move closer?

 

And the big one -- what does an invitation to be more aggressive look like?

[DandS 15]

Interesting question. Made me think back to a night at the club a few months ago. We were sitting at the table with two other couples.

 

The Mr of the first couple was very much a gentleman, talked with me, smiled, winked, told me I was beautiful, flirted, did not try to feel me up while we danced. He did reach over and touch my leg once or twice during the evening. I knew he was interested but not aggressive about it.

 

The Mr of the second couple I happened to find more attractive but he did not hesitate to put his hands all over me, kissed me with his tongue buried way down my throat while we were dancing, seemed every time I stood up he was lifting my skirt, etc. Just way too aggressive for my comfort level.

 

We ended up with the first couple that night and he did move slow and didn't cross any lines but definitely made sure I had fun. We have been with them a couple of times since that night and he has gotten more aggressive once in the bedroom because he now knows what I like. They have turned into one of our favorite playmates.

 

We've seen the aggressive couple at the club several times since then but have never hooked up with them as even though I find him attractive the caveman approach is just a turn off for me.

 

I want a male to be confident, I want to know he is interested in me, just not overly pushy about it.

[biblonde 22]

We don't go to clubs but when we meet guys as part of a couple I like a true gentleman. Someone who isn't pushy. Been there did that ....had one think it was okay sticking his tongue down my throat when we first meet. He didn't get very far!! I do like a guy that lets me lead the way. I dont mind a hug when meeting but....unless I start the kiss or he asks if he can kiss me...don't do it! My hubby is the quieter type and lets the women pick the speed at which they go and that is the kinda guy I like to meet. I do like to know that there is an interest and flirting is cool! I hate totally quiet types in men and women...those that have nothing to say and sit there like they are being punished bore me to death!

 

So Spoo....sounds to me like you are the kind we like to meet. Most women like the Gentleman type that act like real men and not dogs in heat!

[Goodguyvegas71 15]

I think its all about taking chances. Like when playing a slot machine. Ya know either your going to win or lose. I have had to break out of the shy mode a lot of times.

 

Yes I can be aggressive, but only when I feel comfortable to do so. The worst thing a single guy can do I think is to after the night is over say to himself... I wonder what could have happened if I.....

[TNT 1,155]

DandS said:

The Mr of the first couple was very much a gentleman, talked with me, smiled, winked, told me I was beautiful, flirted, did not try to feel me up while we danced. He did reach over and touch my leg once or twice during the evening. I knew he was interested but not aggressive about it.

 

The Mr of the second couple I happened to find more attractive but he did not hesitate to put his hands all over me, kissed me with his tongue buried way down my throat while we were dancing, seemed every time I stood up he was lifting my skirt, etc. Just way to aggressive for my comfort level.

 

Great example of the difference.

 

Teresa

[Spoomonkey 421]

graygo98 said:

If I err, I'd rather err on the side of too laid back than too pushy.

 

I agree with this - and like you said, the line is really hard to see. But, I think it is going to be different with different people - and at that point, you just have to be yourself...

 

I think my biggest problem is that I am so laid back sometime that I don't really show a lot of interest. I am kind of scared of hearing "no" - so I lay back and let things happen. We've done pretty well for being so "laid back" - but I wonder how we'd do if I would show a little interest (?)

 

I read this great book recently that had an interesting little quote - "yes lives in the land of no." In other words - you just have to ask. Sure - you'll hear "no" - but probably more times than you think, you'll hear "yes".

 

I guess that is what I was looking for. Thanks for answering everyone! I shall refrain from clubbing you all, but if I am interested, you are going to know it

[marvelousmarv 15]

If most don't mind, I prefer to be a gentelman with the ladies. Maybe like some others I should be more aggresive at times, but I would still more likely be reserved in my approach. One thing I would like is to be welcomed back after the initial evening. Marv

[EternallySingle 32]

It all comes down to how you are. I'm laid back, but rather assertive. I make myself known, then back away and let people come to me if they want to later. In larger cities, that works like a charm. In small towns its more difficult. I guess nobody wants to be known as the woman/couple that made the first move, so I have to allow them to make the first move in a way that makes it seem like I made the first move. I don't get it. But its probably a good thing that I don't. If I did, I probably would be pissed off at the reason.

[bear_and_babe 68]

This is a very good topic.

 

I (Babe) like the guy to show some interest in me, but not to grab me the first time he meets me. If I am talking with a guy, a light touch on the arm, or leg is ok and shows interest. But then again there is such a thing as too much of a gentleman. I met this guy at the club, and everytime he touched me or kissed me he asked if it was ok. I mean EVERY time! It finally got to the point I had to tell him that if it was not ok, I would have told him after the first kiss.

 

But there is a fine line men have to walk. Bear was talking with a woman at the club. He was being a gentleman, I thought. He and the lady were flirting and she looked like she was having fun. Even to the point of asking if we would be there the next night, that she wanted Bear to do some things with her. Well, we go back the next night and she does not even speak to us. Her husband pulled me aside and says that Bear was being too pushy and aggressive. Um, she was the one who asked him to play, so where was Bear being too aggressive???

 

It really is hard for gentleman to figure out what to do. If you are too laid back then you look like you are not interested and if you show too much interest, then it looks like you are being pushy.

[adventureUS2 25]

I am pretty reserved my self and my wife is very out going. I also like to take it slow and figue out where the boundries are. My wife on the other hand has a very go with the flow attitude. or mabye its a create the flow attitude . She usually prefers a man who is as out going as she is. If it were left up to me to get things going we would most like end up not having as much fun the first time we play with new couples. Now after the ice has been broken and I know where the boundries are LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!

[marvelousmarv 15]

I have read with great interest that maybe I should become the aggressive type. The ladies seem to prefer this, if this shoestring pol is any indication. I do have to have a laugh though as some say one thing and in another thread say something else. I love it. Keeps us single guys really confused. Is this part of the plan ladies? Thanks-Marv

[ready2play 24]

This might be a little off cause I am the woman, I like my women aggressive (like me) and my men somewhere close to a caveman. A real take charge kind of guy...If I don't like something I come right out with it politely and say so.

[marvelousmarv 15]

Like I said in a previous post, most of the ladies are really trying to confuse us poor single guys with what they like. I think Prince has stated it correctly, it's a play it by ear thing. Go with the flow is the thing. Seems the tough way to find this out. At least, a fellow finds out to be a real politician in the clubs. I prefer to be a lot more laid back. Type of person you are seems to me to get the most out of any situation. I think I will stay honest with myself and not try to be something I am not. Marv

[Spoomonkey 421]

marvelousmarv said:

Like I said in a previous post, most of the ladies are really trying to confuse us poor single guys with what they like.

 

Well - I wonder if the rules are slightly different for single men and for married men... Do married men get a bit more license than single men?

 

I can answer that for us with a simple "yes!"

 

That would make a great thread on it's on - but for me, a married guy, this thread has been very helpful - and oddly, it has even helped me a little at work... Go figure... The ability and confidence to flirt well really aids you in every part of your life - so keep the insight coming ladies (and gents!) this has really been good for me!

[marvelousmarv 15]

I can only agree with you. I find that in everyday life as a single male that's widowed, being a former spouse has made it easier to talk with the ladies and be comfortable with my flirting.

 

Another thing: I talked with a club owner in this town and was informed that the single males that participate at his club have fallen off in the last year dramatically. Why? Perhaps the treatment they have been getting at the clubs. I was told that he has done a survey and that 97% don't come back. Again WHY? Something wrong? I have read that the single male should possibly not even consider being in the lifestyle as it is much easier to get laid by going to the local singles bars. Tonight I am making my first trip to a swing club. As this is my first time, I don't expect to get laid.

 

From what I have seen by taking the clubs orientation yesterday, most of these guys couldn't get laid in a singles bar if they had to. I think, to be honest that you get what you pay for.

[EvilMJ 65]

Let's see I am a middle of the road girl on this one.

 

I don't like to be groped, pawed..etc by a guy. However a man that can make eye contact knows just how to get me hot. It shows interest and can be quite a turn on. You have to be able to show a certain amount of respect but still show interest.

 

However in private I really enjoy an agressive man....

[Vespertine 31]

However in private I really enjoy an agressive man....

Dito

 

I'm a middle of the road girl too, though I tend to lean towards the caveman side of the line.

[marvelousmarv 15]

Vespertine said:

Dito

 

I'm a middle of the road girl too, though I tend to lean towards the caveman side of the line.

 

My kind of lady!!! As a single I have found that this is the technique that has always worked for me. Funny though, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be in a dating situation at my age again. Shit happens! I was married for forty years and was wondering if things had changed in dating styles. Looks as if it still is the same. After all, swinging is just dating with getting down and dirty on the first date. This should be mandatory for all under the age of thirty. Less chance of divorce. LOL Like trying on the good shoes.

[curiousagain 326]

Yeah, it is a little tougher on single men playing with couples. Where is the line? It varies with couples and each encounter with the same couple. Once you have played with a couple a few times, there is more of a routine and trust and such and it gets a little easier.

[Spoomonkey 421]

marvelousmarv said:

I think, to be honest that you get what you pay for.

 

A couple of things - I think single men need to understand that a higher entry fee is not an "entitlement" for sex. Swinging couples don't exactly get a cut of the door fee. I have seen singles pay a high fee and then approach women like "it's my turn!"

 

It is a shame when they think the money they paid to get in the door means anything to anyone in the club.

 

marvelousmarv said:

After all, swinging is just dating with getting down and dirty on the first date.

 

I am not sure I agree with this. Honestly, we have never had sex on the "first date" with people we have meet off of ad sites. Meeting the right couple is hard - and deciding to take the "big step" to sex really isn't something many of us just jump into. Granted - things move much quicker in the club environment - but it is a different world in the club.

[growgirl 15]

EternallySingle said:

I have to allow them to make the first move in a way that makes it seem like I made the first move.

 

ES, that is so true. I find myself doing this to a certain degree. I'm gregarious by nature, however, I do suffer from some self-esteem issues. If a man is friendly, talkative and a gentleman... well, I figure he's just being nice to me until someone better comes along... Now, if he's closer towards the caveman side of the line and leaning towards me, initiating body contact, brushing arms, touching hair, not groping or pawing, just flirty touching, then I know he's truly interested and I respond accordingly. Having to make the first move though, gives me butterflies since I have to be the one out on the limb, awaiting rejection when the hotter hottie shows up.

[EternallySingle 32]

If a man is friendly, talkative and a gentleman... well, I figure he's just being nice to me until someone better comes along... Now, if he's closer towards the caveman side of the line and leaning towards me, initiating body contact, brushing arms, touching hair, not groping or pawing, just flirty touching, then I know he's truly interested and I respond accordingly.

 

On a serious note that may not be immediately evident...

 

In order for everyone to enjoy having sex, everyone has to feel comfortable. For women, that means a man making all the moves she needs him to make in order for her to feel desired. For men, it means knowing thatt the woman wants to have sex with him, not just that she wants to have sex. Part of that is, believe it or not, when a man doesn't have to move from his comfort zone as far as how physical he can or can't be when approaching a woman. I like to hug. Not in a sexual way, but to me it says "I like you, I'm comfortable with you, I want you to be comfortable with me."

 

A little story from about five years ago. I knew one woman who will rush up to hug everyone she knows...except me. We'd be out and she would tell me her deepest, darkest secrets, but she'd always stay 3-5 feet away from me. She'd get jealous when I'd see old friends and relatives and they'd come up and hug me, but she'd literally back away when I went to hug her. At first I thought it was a game, but when I did sneak a hug in on her from behind, she was extremely responsive...until she turned around and saw it was me. BUT when I would go over to her place, she'd pout when I'd get ready to leave. After about three months of this, and trying to talk about it, I stopped seeing her. Well, not knowing who she was talking to, she told my new sister-in-law that SHE broke up with me because I never made a move to get her into bed. OK, why would I try to sleep with someone that was shy about hugging me? But that was our incompatibility. And thats what the caveman/gentleman issue comes down to. Are you comfortable with the limits the other person has? If you are, the whole issue is moot. What you expect and hope for is what they are going to do naturally.

[Vantabulous 15]

Single,

 

Haven't been there or done that, but couldn't agree more.

 

Mrs. Van would tend to lean toward the caveman approach. She's far more outgoing and likes the "outrageous", if your will.

 

I, on the other hand, need (almost) to get hit in the back of the head with a bat (the wooden kind, not the animal). I just wouldn't assume that a smile and eye contact meant anything beyond....well, anything.

 

All about comfort zones and what comes naturally. Why "fake" it?

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Drew and I have had numerous conversations about this. Drew has struggled with how assertive he needs to be. Very early on, he had a woman (who we are no very good friends with) that was giving him the signals. I recognized it and he didn't, but couldn't tell him. Later on, I told him that she was letting him know that it was OK to make a move, and because he didn't, she probably thought he wasn't interested. That missed opportunity haunted him for months, so now I think he's more aware of signs and signals and a bit more assertive.

 

I (Pepper) lean more toward caveman--cuz I have a hard time trying to guess if the guy is into me or not. Confidence and being self assured is probably one of the biggest turn-ons to me, but not so much assertiveness that I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. But, we've never been to a club, and I don't think I'd have the same attitude in the club environment. I think that type of assertiveness with men I didn't know at all would feel overwhelming and a bit threatening. So, I guess for me, it depends on the situation.

 

Pepper

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I guess I fall into the "gentleman" range of things while in the club. (off-prem). My methods? I look her in the eye when talking, show interest in what she's saying and give feedback. A small laugh and subtle "touch on the wrist" if she says something cute or funny. If she's looking good, I will make a comment such as "That's a sexy dress, you look great in it", instead of "damn, them titties look fine!". I will let her see me "check her out", but there is a difference between appreciating a person's body and "leering" at them, isn't there?

 

If I get a reciprocal touch after the above mentioned "wrist action", then graduating to further sensual touches/caresses tends to follow.

 

Is it the the most effective way? Who knows? It's how I am most comfortable trying to work some magic

 

As for Mrs two4you.... she likes a gentleman with some rough edges Show her respect, make her laugh, show that you are interested without playing an aggressive game of "grab ass", and she will soon become the aggressive one. Now when play actually starts, get your loincloth out, cause she definitely wants some "Clan of the Cavebear" action.

[darling 17]

I want the caveman with the great sense of humor. Make me laugh while doing some heavy flirting to let me know you want me is for me a sure sign. But also give me a gentlemanly way out if I'm not interested.

[account357 15]

This is great stuff! I still think women should come with a hand book - but still great stuff here.

 

In my job I have to be a type A person. But to bring that into my wifes and I's swinging life is sometimes reather hard (no play on words). The one thing I always tell people is the very worst you are going to hear is NO. But you never want to get to that point.

 

The wife says I should be more aggressive and I do agree, as a good husband should but it's a two way street.

[graygo98 148]

I will let her see me "check her out", but there is a difference between appreciating a person's body and "leering" at them, isn't there?

 

My Gawd... this is getting complicated!

[traceywitney 15]

I prefer a gentleman myself.

 

Like a lot of you on this thread I find it offensive when a person calls me a female dog or anything like that.

 

I have never experienced being groped by someone I hardly know thank God and I would find that offensive as well.

 

I would like a man to show he was interested by either saying so or touching me my wrist or hair. If I’m attracted to him, I will respond.

 

Once I know a person well I see nothing wrong with a private grope straight after meeting them provided it’s all parties are comfortable with that.

I also don’t like rough sex, as I don’t get off on pain. For me sex needs to be pleasurable. I know some philosophers say that pain and pleasure go together and that is true for most things I think, but just not sex. I prefer to start my sexual encounters gently and then build them up to fiery passion.

 

I also like there to be a mutual consideration between partners and if one of the partners makes it clear that they don’t like something that the other partner is doing to him/her, the other partner should stop and move on to something more agreeable to the person.

 

I’ve never been with a woman, but I think I would like a woman to behave exactly the same towards me as a man does. Of course it goes without saying that I am treating and will treat my playmates the same way I’d like to be treated.

 

Maria.

[findtime 16]

Quote

As for Mrs two4you... she likes a gentleman with some rough edges Show her respect, make her laugh, show that you are interested without playing an aggressive game of "grab ass", and she will soon become the aggressive one. Now when play actually starts, get your loincloth out, cause she definitely wants some "Clan of the Cavebear" action.

 

This is me, too.

 

I don't want a man, initially, to take liberties and just assume. I'm not a prostitute and I don't like being put in the position that I'm forced to be blunt or rude to stop someone's advances (I will, but I don't like it).

 

Now, once we've gotten to the sex stage, then I like a man to act hungry.

[newmajor00 48]

Gentleman out of the bedroom..... Caveman in the bedroom! Caveman Good!

[funcple45154 15]

I like a little more caveman then gentelman in the bedroom I want a man to pick me up trow me around alittle not ruff but know what he wants and takes it not me doing all the work all the time

[minx 15]

I Love a gentleman and a caveman, but I agree it has to be somewhere in the middle.It also depends on if we know each other or not. And where the comfort level is. Because frankly , not all men can get away with being a caveman AND DO IT WITH THE STYLE IT DEMANDS.

 

Rhonda

[Thrax 384]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

As for Mrs two4you...... she likes a gentleman with some rough edges Show her respect, make her laugh, show that you are interested without playing an aggressive game of "grab ass", and she will soon become the aggressive one. Now when play actually starts, get your loincloth out, cause she definately wants some "Clan of the Cavebear" action.

 

I found my copy of "101 Flirtatious Jokes"...

 

*rummages through underwear drawer*

 

...but dammit, WHERE is that loincloth. I thought I put it here after I used it while hunting last year...

 

 

[txduo2000 18]

This looks like a fun poll. Don't remember seeing it earlier this year.

 

I voted "club me and drag me off ..." because I am thinking in terms of the bedroom only.

 

In "real/normal" life, I like a gentleman to treat me like a lady, opening my doors, being polite and respectful.

 

But in the bedroom ... whoa Nelly! I want someone to throw me around a little, be somewhat rough around the edges, very dominant and overpowering.

[cur_cpl_n_chey 15]

ok I voted more gentleman and when I am with a new partner I do want someone who is going to be more gentle with me while exploring each other. I know when I am with my hubby I can let go and encourage the caveman mentality. I mean I occasionally like to be just taken. I don't mean rape ofcourse. I mean meet me at the door, start undressing me, sweep me up and take me to bed type thing. It doesn't happen very often but when it does I enjoy it.....But then I also enjoy being tied down on occasion also(not that I am into pain or anything....)

 

Mrs Cur

[the_write_one 15]

I'd say most prefer a bit of both; a gentlemen until it's time not to be (and all that implies is knowing when to be sexually aggressive when the woman is wanting "thrown on the bed & taken.) Luckily for me, I'm very flexible and adaptable. I can be anything a lady wants me to be.

[sexyshelby 19]

txduo2000 said:

This looks like a fun poll. Don't remember seeing it earlier this year.

 

I voted "club me and drag me off ..." because I am thinking in terms of the bedroom only.

 

In "real/normal" life, I like a gentleman to treat me like a lady, opening my doors, being polite and respectful.

 

But in the bedroom ... whoa Nelly! I want someone to throw me around a little, be somewhat rough around the edges, very dominant and overpowering.

 

Dito

 

Although I dont like too much of a gentleman...I'm too independent to let men do everything.

[gatorvol64 216]

intuition897 said:

Personally, I find an assertive gentleman who shows self-control sexy. One that lets you know in no uncertain terms that he finds you attractive, but at the same time makes you feel completely comfortable with being in charge of the direction that play goes in.

 

Intuition always say things so well.

 

I marked more gentleman than caveman. I like being the female. You will never hear me complain about being shown respect. A gentleman showing restraint until he gets to know me is attractive. Same gentleman having learned when more aggression becomes wanted could make me very happy.

 

I think what I look for may be called just old fashioned flirting. It has worked throughout time for a reason.

[Tia Vampire 167]

if your talking about in bed, I prefer a caveman. Just like the song goes "a lady in the street, but a freak in bed". It's the same with me. Act like a gentleman toward me and others in the street, but in the bedroom, I like it rough.