I met a HOT chic - I think she swings! Now what do I do?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

This weekend we attended a dinner with vanilla folks. It was a dinner that we had been invited to by a couple we met a few weeks ago--that is a story in itself, maybe for another thread. This couple had reserved 20 seats and we ended up being seated at the other end of the table so we knew none of the people around us.

 

I was next to a beautiful, vivacious blonde who sat to my left; Mr LM was on my right. We were seated at one long table, twelve people each side.

 

She struck up a conversation with me immediately. About five minutes in she mentioned the "S" word: SWINGER. I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what hit me. The word flowed off her lips so naturally. As I recall, she made a comical reference to somebody in the restaurant being a swinger. She was making a joke, I laughed, but I was in shock. I just heard this "vanilla" woman call someone a swinger--and she made being a swinger sound positive and fun.

 

I then mentioned Oprah's show--I had to come up with some excuse for knowing what a swinger was.

 

We discovered interests we have in common, and she said she would like to get to know me better. We exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers.

 

Now how do I proceed? I have only ever "made the move" on known swingers. How do I start to develop this relationship. I don't know if I'm going to like her husband, he seemed tired and never tried to join in our conversation. But the room was very noisy and people could only easily converse with those right next to them or across the table. Mr LM liked how she looked, but he didn't have a chance to talk to her.

 

I don't know where to go with this. Heck, I can envision playing with her alone and leaving the men at home.

 

I could use some ideas. This is a new arena for me.

[curious24 17]

Consider yourself lucky!! I wish I could meet a hot chic.

 

I wish I could tell you what to do though. Unfortunately I don't have any experience at this so it'll be interesting to see what others say.

 

Maybe invite her out for a happy hour. Nothing like getting a little bit tipsy and asking questions. That's what I would do

 

Good luck!

[EternallySingle 32]

Invite the two of them to a sports bar for lunch with the two of you, make a swinging-type innuendo (maybe say "hey, your husband does that for you? Maybe you'd let me borrow him sometime?"), and see how they react. If they react favorably, bring up some of your experiences tactfully and see if they do the same. If they don't, laugh it off.

 

I've done something similar with three women I know just recently. One I now know is a swinger, one I believe might want to try swinging (I get the distinct impression her husband likes to watch...he's begun complimenting me on my clothes, making jokes about me and his wife...hmmm), and one wants a bed buddy, but I think I blew that chance by using the wrong wording when I brought it up. I said "I'd like to be more than friends," but didn't want to use friends with benefits. I think she thought I meant I wanted to be her boyfriend, something she denies she ever wants again at her age, but she really goes out of her way to make sure I stay at her place well after midnight whenever I visit. Damn 60 day rule

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

EternallySingle said:

Invite the two of them to a sports bar for lunch with the two of you, make a swinging-type innuendo (maybe say "hey, your husband does that for you? Maybe you'd let me borrow him sometime?"), and see how they react. If they react favorably, bring up some of your experiences tactfully and see if they do the same. If they don't, laugh it off.

Hold your horses ES! You're way too fast for me. I know I'll want to move at a much slower pace.

 

Because they know all these people that we don't know (except for the two who invited us to the dinner) we are like two new fish in the fish bowl. Everybody will have their ears ready for any juicy tales about us. I know this because one of the first things she said to everyone seated around us was, "So you're the new couple everyone's been talking about?" Come to find out they had been making up some pretty funny stories about us.

 

I don't want to risk being a topic of conversation for "the group." I need time to develop trust--through friendship--with this couple.

 

Don't you think I should let them bring up swinging, maybe we can play dumb, let them introduce us to it? What do you think?

[EternallySingle 32]

OK, I cut too much again. Maybe I should stop trying to make short posts. I don't do them well.

 

ORIGINALLY, I said you should meet with the woman alone at lunch or after work at a coffee shop and just talk about things, and see what topics she brings up. Bring up the night of the dinner and some of the jokes you heard, including the one someone made about someone in the restaurant being a swinger. If she admits it was her, tell her you read about it after the Oprah show (you wouldn't be lying) and ask if she had as well. If she says she hasn't, she's not a swinger, and you can back out by saying something like "I could only see myself doing something like that with someone I really trusted as much as I trust my husband anyway. And you know how hard it would be to find someone like that?" Of course, that will bring up a whole new line of conversation about how we men can't be trusted any further than you can throw us. If she says she's read about it also, you have a totally different direction you can travel.

 

You can ask each other questions about what you think swinging is, why you think people do it, and if you'd ever think of doing it sometime in the future. If she says she can't see herself doing it, again use the comment about not doing it unless you ran across someone you trusted as much as your husband. If she says its something she and her husband has talked about, make light of it without closing the door to the possibility.

[twoplayful2 16]

Maybe just play it safe and let it all go. Even if they are swingers you might not want to mix the two parts of your life. If it were us though, we'd probably start the flirting immediately Another thought, you don't need to let additional details about yourselves leak out to these people even if you do start to get involved with them. Since it's the "real life" part of your life that we're talking about here, maybe as far as they'd know you're just a wild and fun couple.

[montresor 19]

In the "Chuang-Tzu," the master berates the pupil who leaps ahead too fast: "You see a crossbow and immediately imagine an owl roasting on the spit." Or words to that effect. Ancient Chinese cuisine issues aside (Owl? Um, yuck.), seems like everyone's fast-forwading to you romping with your new friend(s). One step at a time, guys! E-mail & phone numbers? Great! Enjoy the preliminary stages for what they are. If your new friend is indeed a swinger, things will unfold. If not, you still have a new friend. The issue of everyone knowing you and her already is important; you wouldn't want to commit a faux-pas by jumping ahead to the sexy chapter. You may want to consider, also, that her tired and out of it husband may know nothing about this -- I could easily imagine that he might be generally too pooped to pop, and the Emerald City of swinging looks inviting to her. I say proceed, but don't have too many expectations of the outcome. It will be what it will be, in the way it's supposed to. Just you and her meet, sound it out, etc. Hey, what do I know? Worth looking at, though.

[TNT 1,155]

Is it possible that this whole group are swingers and that you got invited to dinner so they could all feel you out and you were seated by this particular lady because she's the more outgoing of the group and it was her job to feel ya'll out?

 

Hey...maybe a long shot, but it is worth a thought.

 

I like ES's suggestion, since you exchanged e-mails and phone numbers, just take it slow and easy...see how the friendship develops and take it from there.

 

Teresa

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Just start it as you would any potential friendship. Give her a call or shoot her an email and say hi - it was great meeting you, I'm looking forward to getting to know you better... wanna have lunch?

 

Then go to lunch and get to know her better. Then bring up the Oprah show again and see where it goes "ya know I've been thinking about that Oprah show...."

[Miss_Piggy 98]

Is it possible that this whole group are swingers and that you got invited to dinner so they could all feel you out and you were seated by this particular lady because she's the more outgoing of the group and it was her job to feel ya'll out?

 

heeheehee.. This is definitely the best explanation (fantasy-wise )

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

TNT said:

Is it possible that this whole group are swingers and that you got invited to dinner so they could all feel you out and you were seated by this particular lady because she's the more outgoing of the group and it was her job to feel ya'll out?

 

Hey...maybe a long shot, but it is worth a thought.

 

I like ES's suggestion, since you exchanged e-mails and phone numbers, just take it slow and easy...see how the friendship develops and take it from there.

 

Teresa

I feel like I'm sitting down with all of you in my living room, watching you spin little webs for me to climb on.

 

Coaching me to take it slow makes sense. That's what I'd be most comfortable with. I'm in no rush, just excited about the possibilities. I'll develop a friendship with her, then we'll bring our husbands in.

 

Really truly, I think about what things might be like with her (them) a year away. I set swinging as a possible distant goal because if something sweet becomes of it sooner, I would feel very fortunate.

 

Regarding the group being swingers, Mr LM and I feel sure this is not the case, for a variety of reasons. These days, we always have our "swinger radar" up and we didn't get pings from the group overall.

 

 

montresor said:

If your new friend is indeed a swinger, things will unfold. If not, you still have a new friend.

This is how I am going to approach it.

 

Just writing this and thinking about meeting her has me blushing. I'm afraid I'll not be my usual confident self, you know how it is, when a high school kid has a crush they avoid eye contact and blush too easily.

 

I figure I'll give it a few days before I e-mail her. Okay?

[good times 991]

I think you are on rthe right track LM, by your descriotion of the events and the way you described your relationship to the other members of this group I would defenitely go slowly. We have been to a couplke of vanilla parties in the last few weeks and I have noticed at these parties a lot of people give off a swinger vibe to me by the things they say and do. But I know for a fact that they aren't swingers and after taking a serious blow amongst our circle of vanilla friends before, I know not to go to far with them. It seems like recently it has become socially acceptable for people to flirt and be more open about sexual things in the vanilla world than it has in the past which makes it a little confusing for us as swingers. So I wouldn't push it, go slowly and you never know, maybe you have found a swinger in your midst.

[Vespertine 31]

Just start it as you would any potential friendship. Give her a call or shoot her an email and say hi - it was great meeting you, I'm looking forward to getting to know you better... wanna have lunch?

That's what I'd do too.

 

Have fun getting to know your new friend, LM.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

LikeMinds321 said:

......Don't you think I should let them bring up swinging.....

 

She already has, hasn't she?

 

Give her a call or send her an e-mail. Get to know her on a "friendly" basis. Maybe she will bring swinging up again in passing, or if not maybe you can once you are comfortable with her. Either way you could end up with a good friend.

Nothing wrong with that.

[JnCC 24]

Is it possible that this whole group are swingers and that you got invited to dinner so they could all feel you out and you were seated by this particular lady because she's the more outgoing of the group and it was her job to feel ya'll out? Teresa

That's how it happened for us. We were attending a semi-formal garden party hosted by the head of a local civic organization. Upon arriving, we were told that some people were holding seats for us at their table. It didn't take very long (or very many drinks) to figure out that everybody at that table had some interest or connection to swinging or some other unconventional adult behavior. (Two of the couples were bonafide members of swing clubs, one was very curious, and the wives of 2 others 2 were notorious tittie-flashers)

 

Think about it...if you were hosting a party, and you suspected that some of your guests were gay, for instance, how better to make a discrete introduction than to arrange seating at a dinner table?

 

This girl is sending you signals that even "Rain Man" would find hard to ignore. Invite her to lunch, arrange for a bottle of her favorite wine to be sent to your table, and let us know how it turns out!

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Where we sat was up to us, so I that eliminates any attempt to match us up with people.

 

Also, this woman wasn't even in our party. She was with a different party and just happened to know the other's. The way it works in this restaurant, different parties end up being at the same table.

 

We all have vanilla friends, so maybe she and her husband are just one swinger couple within this group of vanilla friends. I don't think the original couple who invited us are swingers because they moved to the Midwest so that their children would have a purer environment to grow up in. Doesn't that sound like they wouldn't be open to swinging?

 

I'm going to e-mail the HOT vivacious blonde tonight ...I want to see what she'll write back.

 

If she's still open to getting to know me better, I'll try to set up a meeting with her. Maybe happy hour at bar, when the appetizers are free and the men will be hungry and looking us over ...and I can see how she responds to that environment...and, well, you can imagine.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

LikeMinds321 said:

 

I'm going to e-mail the HOT vivacious blonde tonight ...I want to see what she'll write back.

LM

 

Looks like this thread could turn into Seducing The Waterboy Part II

 

We are so excited for you and anxiously await to see how this turns out!

[JnCC 24]

LikeMinds321 said:

Also, this woman wasn't even in our party. She was with a different party and just happened to know the other's. The way it works in this restaurant, different parties end up being at the same table.

Perhaps it was just coincidence, although I believe we create a a lot more "coincidences" than we give ourselves credit for. Gay people like to claim they have their so-called "Gaydar," I like to think that swingers have something similar...maybe we could call it "PLAYdar?"

 

I do know this...that as a single guy on a first date, I can usually tell, without asking outright, if a woman has had, or would be agreeable to, a Lifestyle experience. I never bring the subject up until we've been out a number of times, but when I do, I find I'm correct almost 100% of the time.

 

There was a case here locally a few years ago, where the cops reported on a ring of grown men who were into some sort of "baby play." Not pedophilia...that would be common by comparison. No, these were men who, as I understand it, wore giant baby diapers, and talked and acted like babies.

 

The newspaper said there was "a ring" of them. How many, I don't know...but if there were even three, they had to find each other somehow. People of "like minds" always seem to gravitate towards one another...

 

Quote

I don't think the original couple who invited us are swingers because they moved to the Midwest so that their children would have a purer environment to grow up in. Doesn't that sound like they wouldn't be open to swinging?

I don't know about that. My kids mom and I moved from Los Angeles to rural Kentucky to raise our kids, and we certainly maintained an active, if not entirely "conventional" sex life once we were established here. I think one possible definition of swinging might be "an activity that some couples engage in so as NOT to be tempted into behaviors that might endanger the family unit."

 

Besides, have you ever noticed what kinds of cars are parked outside swing clubs? Mini-vans and SUV's, that's what! No Porsche's, and occasionally a token Corvette, but mostly it's mini-vans and SUV's with soccer decals in the back window and "Our child was Student-of-the-Month at Blah-blah Middle School" decals on the back bumpers.

 

Gee, I just got this great idea! My daughter has a rather costly class trip coming up next semester, one for which fundraising is about to start. I wonder if one of the local club owners would let me sell her candy bars in the kitchen area of their club some night?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Gay people like to claim they have their so-called "Gaydar," I like to think that swingers have something similar...maybe we could call it "PLAYdar?"

I like that!

 

 

There was a case here locally a few years ago, where the cops reported on a ring of grown men who were into some sort of "baby play." Not pedophilia...that would be common by comparison. No, these were men who, as I understand it, wore giant baby diapers, and talked and acted like babies.

I think that's called "Infantilism"

 

 

Gee, I just got this great idea! My daughter has a rather costly class trip coming up next semester, one for which fundraising is about to start. I wonder if one of the local club owners would let me sell her candy bars in the kitchen area of their club some night?

Maybe liquor filled chocolates would do even better?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

two4youinswva said:

We are so excited for you and anxiously await to see how this turns out!

If this turns out like the "Seducing the Waterboy" thread, I'll feel honored. I consider "Waterboy" a little mini-series on this board.

 

***

 

UPDATE: *bounce-bounce*

 

I sent her an e-mail a moment ago and got an immediate response back! Hey, I should give her a name...how about "Vivacious" or Vi for those who don't like typing out long words.

 

She sounded so happy to hear from me. She told me she can be free for coffee, lunch, or evenings if I prefer. She even said she's open this week.

 

I don't think it will work this week.

 

But I don't know, maybe I could "swing it."

 

Can you tell I'm giddy?

[DandS 15]

LM you crack me up....definitely go have lunch or coffee or a shopping trip with her and let us know what happens

D

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

DandS said:

LM you crack me up....definitely go have lunch or coffee or a shopping trip with her and let us know what happens

D

D -

 

That's exactly what I had in mind! I know a nice coffee shop with great atmosphere where we can find a cozy corner for private talk.

 

Mmmm...I wonder if I can get in to see my nail girl before we get together.

 

I really should lose 3 pounds first.

 

I'd better put off meeting her for a week.

[BradAndJanet 70]

LikeMinds321 said:

I'd better put off meeting her for a week.

Oh, no you don't! No 'putting off'! You're fine the way you are; she obviously liked what she saw.

 

Besides, all of us are now crazy with anticipation. You wouldn't want to let us down, would you?

[Vespertine 31]

You GO, Girl!

 

 

 

...I agree, don't put it off... meet her this week!

[EvilMJ 65]

BradAndJanet said:

Oh, no you don't! No 'putting off'! You're fine the way you are; she obviously liked what she saw.

 

Besides, all of us are now crazy with anticipation. You wouldn't want to let us down, would you?

Dito Dito to Brad!! You are fine as you are!

[Dynamar 246]

...maybe we could call it "PLAYdar?"

Love, love, love this! Definitely gonna steal this term! Thanks JnCC

[intuition897 2,179]

I had tried to think of a term for swingers radar and came up with 'swingdar' but I like JnCC's 'PLAYDAR' much better!!

 

And LM, don't put off 'til next week whom you can play with today! Girl, if that's you in your avatar, don't change a thing You're a doll.

 

I just love the naughty idea of unexpectedly finding playmates in our everyday vanilla lives. Makes the vanilla world so much more interesting to live in day-in-day-out. I'm so excited for you! Just make sure you keep us updated, eh? Now that you've teased us by putting thoughts in our heads...

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

intuition897 said:

And LM, don't put off 'til next week whom you can play with today!

I'm timing this out. I'm not procrastinating--really truly I'm not. I love the slow build-up to something.

 

I'm heading outside right now to walk around the acreage for 20-30 minutes, beats being downstairs in the dreary basement on the treadmill.

 

Still, I might come back in and tighten the tush by walking on the mill at the highest incline...love the burn it gives me.

 

When I return I'll e-mail Vi and set a date.

[FunTxCouple 15]

LM,

I think I speak for all of us when I say we are hanging in the balance here Please let us know soon if you have heard from "Vi" Good luck!

 

Mrs. Fun

[DBL D 120]

LM you're trolling us! Get on with it already.

 

Fem D and have I loved this so far; don't let us down.

 

Male D

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

FunTxCouple said:

LM,

I think I speak for all of us when I say we are hanging in the balance here Please let us know soon if you have heard from "Vi" Good luck!

 

Mrs. Fun

As I said in my last post, I decided to take a walk to mentally and physically ready myself for contacting Vi.

 

The walk was invigorating...the sun...the blue sky...the fresh air. I decided to take a picture of myself with a glow in my cheeks to remember my jaunt around the estate (that sounds so much sexier than "yard," play along with me here). The neighbor's stallions were flaring their nostrils as I swiftly moved past them along the whitewashed fence. . .I'm getting carried away!

 

Let's get to the nitty-gritty.

 

After my walk I worked out on the treadmill. The muscles in my bum were bouncin' and I felt pumped.

 

I decided to call Vi instead of emailing.

 

She answered on the third ring. I think she new it was me because she doesn't accept blocked calls...I had to unblock our private number and name to get through.

 

I could hear the smile in her voice. We talked about the weather and the wind and flying kites. What a way to start. But we kept the conversation going smoothly. I asked her if she would be free on Friday to meet for coffee. "Yes!" she said, and I asked her to choose a coffee house she likes. It's one I've never been to. We're meeting around noon.

 

So it's set. Our first mini-meet.

 

Future friends? Maybe more?

 

I think I'll order a hot Chai Tea...with LOTS of whipped cream to lick off the top.

[DBL D 120]

Good for you LM.........

 

I can tell this is going to be a great cup of coffee.....Love the name you have given her. Oh sorry, not her new name what you want to do to her. Yummmmmmmmmmm

Good luck and please keep us posted. facelick

 

Fem D

[ALilOEverything 901]

This is just so exciting LM!!

 

And I can just picture you with a hint of seduction licking off that whip cream as you intently catch her gaze wondering what she's really thinking.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

ALilOEverything said:

This is just so exciting LM!!

 

And I can just picture you with a hint of seduction licking off that whip cream as you intently catch her gaze wondering what she's really thinking.

And when I lick, I'll be making sounds of pleasure--as I always do when I suck cream off the top of my drinks--"Mmmmm, this is sooooo goood" is what I'll probably say.

 

I have one concern; I had a red flag pop up when I first observed Vi and her husband arriving at Saturday's dinner.

 

It's something I've been trying to ignore, however, as I've told myself repeatedly in the past, I should never ignore my gut feelings, especially when it comes to red flags.

 

Mr LM and I were in our car in the parking lot because we had arrived early. When they drove in and got out they immediately caught our attention--both looked good and dressed sexy. *Insert picture* Vi was wearing black fishnet stockings and a short skirt!

 

I noticed she and her hubby didn't look at each other, they walked to the door apart, no interaction. Mr LM thought it was their first date. I said No way. That's a married couple and they aren't getting along well tonight. We laughed. We've been married 25+ years and we know there are times we don't hold each other's arm. Our minds are elsewhere.

 

Still, I'm a little worried.

 

Do you think my first impression of something not right between them is justified? I think I should learn more about their relationship right off, on this first meet with Vi.

[DBL D 120]

Since you have our full attention, we feel compelled to get involved. I'd say that if you are intending to talk about intimate things then a talk about their relationship is in order too. Maybe something like, "So, how long have you two been in love."

 

We hope it works out and they aren't in trouble.

 

Male D

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

I say do not read too much into it, at least right now.

 

Mrs naughty and I get along great but still have out tiffs. I'm sure it is obvious in our body language we are not quite "bonding" (especially if someone is looking) but it doesn't mean we have issues. it means we are like every other couple out there who have a disagreement now and then.

 

If you get to meet them again and you get the same vibe then maybe...

 

I would wait to see a trend before making a decision.

 

It's one thing to act on a vibe for someone you met through a swinger site. Gut feelings are definitely something to go with!

 

But,

Since this relationship is starting out vanilla you can observe and if there does seem to be relationship issues between the two you do not have to pursue things any further than just being friends.

[FunTxCouple 15]

Dito to Mr. & Mrs. Naughty

 

I agree- if you were around them again and got the same vibe, maybe something is amiss. But for now, it may be too early to tell.

 

Can't wait to hear all about your meeting

 

Mrs. Fun

[Vespertine 31]

I agree with Mr. Naughty, I'd watch them interact a few more times before drawing any 'deal-breaking' conclusions.

[Chip_n_Muffy 16]

Regarding their "red flag" behaviour, is it possible that there was a really good basketball game on TV that night? It is entirely possible that he had things he would rather have done than to go out to dinner that particular night. Sometimes the male of the species can get petulant and cranky when we don't get our way! The behaviour you observed may have been situational, a reaction to just that night's event. Worth considering, anyway.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

DBL D said:

I'd say that if you are intending to talk about intimate things then a talk about their relationship is in order too. Maybe something like, "So, how long have you two been in love."

This sounds good to me. I'll use it. Thanks DBL D.

 

Woke up with a head cold this morning so I'm going to be a little spacey on cold medicine. Better that than have my nose drip into my mug of hot Chai Tea.

 

I painted my nails, got my clothes lined up and even had Mr LM trim my hair yesterday. . . the hair on my head. I know how some of you think.

[2much 19]

and I thought the Waterboy saga had on the edge of my seat!

[AZ Dreaming 15]

Ok Likeminds where are you, we are all waiting!!!!

Please don't make us wait too long! I now have to go to work and all I will be thinking about is this thread and if everything went ok..........

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I arrived before Vi did. Of course, I didn't know this until I got inside and took a glance around the place. I liked it instantly. Wasn't too busy. Mostly men sitting alone with big mugs of coffee while focused on their laptops.

 

One lady was nestled into an overstuffed sofa, she had large headphones on and I figured she was listening to a book on tape.

 

A good looking guy who was seated at a table on the left gave me a long look when I walked in. I decided to hold his gaze and gave him a smile. He acknowledged. It didn't look like he'd shaved that morning, with his sharp jaw the shadow made him look tough--in a good way--and his smile added the soft touch.

 

No sign of Vi. The gentleman behind the counter said something to me, don't remember exactly what, but then, I was nervous and my mind was elsewhere. I walked toward him and he asked what he could get for me. We started up a conversation that continued until Vi arrived, about five minutes later.

 

She looked great, big smile on her face, her beautiful blonde hair, full and wavy, hung down just to her shoulders. I had decided I wasn't going to offer a hug first, I wanted to see if she would. She did. We squeezed each other tightly, our leather jackets touched and made a nice sound.

 

We ordered up. My tea came without whipped cream, and for a second, I froze. I asked them to add it. I now had something to lick.

 

Vi and I agreed we preferred the tall table with the high stools and found a central spot along the wall. The lighting fixtures were great in this coffee shop. It felt good being here. Vi said she comes her often to write. I think it would be perfect for writers. Private coves here and there, various couches, loveseats and chairs. Internet hookups everywhere. Books for reading.

 

My first drink went down fast. I'm on cold medicine and was very thirsty. Vi bought me a second drink and this was the first time I got a chance to look her up and down as she stood, her back to me, at the counter waiting from my drink. She's shapely, well-proportioned and looked great in her short red skirt, black turtle neck sweater, black tights and suede boots. I wore my tight X-long jeans and a turtle neck sweater, leather jacket and boots. I decided to wear my hair up since she had seen it down at the Saturday dinner.

 

She did most of the talking and that was a good thing because my head was so spaced from the OTC cold medicine that I wasn't myself. I discovered she has a wonderful laugh that charges the room. We found out more about our pasts and our jobs. We're both self-employed. I asked her "how long have you and your husband been in love" and she told me about their relationship. He's a hardworking man, long hours, and time for the two of them alone is rare. But I think they're managing well and are happy.

 

Vi is a very positive, sexy woman with a good heart and a great sense of humor. I like her very much. And frankly, I wasn't thinking much about sex while with her. I was discovering someone new, who I enjoyed being with.

 

We spent over two hours together. The time flew by. As we said our goodbyes we decided we'll get together again.

 

Who knows when that will be.

 

A little while ago I sent her an email thanking her for the great time.

 

I'm eager to hear back from her. She loves movies but her husband isn't too keen on them. Maybe I can call her up next time for a movie, then drinks at a bar afterwards.

 

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

[Vespertine 31]

Glad you had a good time, LM.

 

Here's hoping to many, many more...

[DBL D 120]

LM, You could go there and do some of your own writing! Absolutely fabulous description of the place and the lady Vi! I just had the mother of all colds and I can imagine how you were really not feeling well. Vi picked you up though. It sounds like they have the average marriage but I can't tell much more. Maybe average in the sense that they (or she) is ready for something more??? She sounded luscious and I'm sure you were wet the whole time! facelick

 

What's your take? I know you'll see again but since you said that you weren't thinking about sex when you were with her, do you think that you don't necessarily have to have sex with her now? Do you think she connected with you or get any hints that she "liked" you?

 

Sounds like everything went about as well as possible for a 1st meeting.

 

Male D

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

DBL D said:

 

What's your take? I know you'll see again but since you said that you weren't thinking about sex when you were with her, do you think that you don't necessarily have to have sex with her now? Do you think she connected with you or get any hints that she "liked" you?

 

Sounds like everything went about as well as possible for a 1st meeting.

 

Male D

Have sex with her now?! I'm not ready for that yet. I'm not getting to know her only for that type of a connection.

 

I think she liked me. If she didn't she wouldn't have spent that much time with me. I have never sent a woman sex signals so I don't know what the heck I'm doing or what I should be looking for from her. There weren't any signals she gave me...I don't think.

 

She may be in the same position.

 

If I had been myself (no cold meds) I would have brought the topic to sex (not swinging, just general sex talk), because I can do that so naturally with any female friends. I didn't do that with Vi...even with great looking men in the coffee shop! I usually talk about sexy looking men. Where was my head!?

 

So I'll have to leave sex-talk for our next meeting.

 

I'll be feeling well then, and instead of Chai tea I'll have a martini in hand.

 

That should help the conversation go in a new direction.

[DBL D 120]

I'm sorry LM, I just thought that sex was the general direction of your course.

 

Nothing wrong with having a great sexy, but "safe", friendship with her. My Fem D has the best friend. She may have thought about getting to know her better but now thinks that she should just have a vanilla confidant available. It makes things spicy to think of the two of them together but that's her decision. And this one is yours.

 

We're just very happy you seem well adjusted enough to her that she can make herself available to you (as a friend)!

 

We know what a super great gal you are, she doesn't...yet!

 

Male D

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Boy DBL D you're sure writing me off quickly!

 

I have not written her off as a potential playmate by any means.

 

I am not going to pounce on any man or woman I just met in the vanilla world. It's a different situation at a swing club. You make your connection early.

 

This will take some time. I don't mind that at all.

[DBL D 120]

OMG, LM! I'm not writing you off at all! Nor her. You had mentioned that she used the word swinger at the party and that got your attention. I know that I would have been thinking in the sexual way because of that comment even if I knew there was only a chance of just being friends. That's how my male mind works anyway. When you said...oh never mind, LM.

 

I give you much more credit than that. I was just trying to think along with you. I'll just read what happens from now on. That will be safer for me.

 

Male D

[FunTxCouple 15]

LM,

It sounds like a great first meeting!It seems like you connected on many different levels. Thanks for sharing your story with us