Kissing your swap partner?

[raylynne 15]

I'm sure this has been a subject before in here, but when I searched I found all but what I was looking for.

 

What does anyone have to say about kissing your swap partner? (on the mouth) MF MF My hubby says he really doesn't enjoy it, though we haven't had much experience in the lifestyle, but because he doesn't enjoy it, he thinks that I shouldn't indulge, either. What do you all think about this subject?

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I can't imagine not being able to kiss my swing partner!

 

Both Mr LM and I love kissing, it's what warms us up, it gets the juices flowing, and the lips are such a sensual place on the body...they can give and receive.

 

Swinging is not something I want to do merely to get to the "act" of fucking or oral or whatever else we choose to do.

 

I want to feel close to my fuck buddies, and kissing brings me there.

 

LM

[biblonde 22]

I voted depends on the partner. Although sex just isnt sex without kissing to us, we do have one set of playfriends that dont kiss. We continue to play because they are so much fun otherwise and great friends. But, to be honest when they first told us they never kiss I almost said nope...sorry no longer interested but our dinner had gone so well that I took a chance and loved every minute of it. But normaly if a couple doesnt kiss we pass them up. Both of us enjoy it so much it is hard not to kiss. But yes there are some that are horible kissers and I would never really want to kiss them again!!

[older-newbes 15]

To us that is first base and our starting point. We still might be sort of new to this 8 months. But we would have to say no play with out being close and kissing! It is a turn on to us both and will remain so. Just our point of view.

[good times 991]

We will no longer play with anybody that has a no kissing rule. We have ran into a couple of couples that had a no kissing rule and after interacting with them for a while we realized that the no kissing thing is often a good indicator of a couple that has more issues in their relationship than we are willing to deal with, so we would normally pass on them. We actually don't have any rules about what we can or can't do other than the things we wouldn't even do with each other, for example, we don't do anal with each other so we wouldn't do anal with a swing partner either.

[Alura 2,774]

We can't imaging having sex without kissing. For that reason, any couple who had a "no kissing" rule would probably not enjoy playing with us.

 

But we have a question of those who don't kiss; what do you do instead?

 

Alura

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

It's funny because when Mr Spoo mentioned the lifestyle and we started looking into it one of our rules was going to be no kissing. I couldn't imagine seeing him kiss another woman. Our first couple we met and developed a friendship with months before we played with them would help us evaluate our rules. We ended up deciding it was going to go off our rule list and we would kiss our playmates.

 

After that we met a couple that didn't kiss for similar reasons we had the rule(i.e. too intimate, save for each other, etc.). Although we had fun (my first bi experience and it was a 5some with a single female joining us) we have never played with them since. Kissing is part of the foreplay and no one can make me feel the way Mr Spoo does when he kisses me so it isn't an invasion of our intimacy.

 

Mrs Spoomonkey

[ALilOEverything 901]

Kissing is too important part of foreplay for me to go without. That's what really gets me wet, more than any touching. There is a big difference between the kiss with a friend and a kiss of the person I love.

[midnight hour 16]

We kiss it was never one of our issues...as Mr. Midnight said if he went to the nuts and bolts of it to him giving head is more personal then kissing....

 

Midnight Hour

[amBIdextrous 17]

A couple I had a 3some with never kissed, not even each other, only on birthdays etc.

I simply could not hack that.

[CB_n_Red 16]

I'm sure we've said it before - for us it would be unthinkable to have sex without kissing. Red says that kissing the potential playmate is the best way for her to see if the necessary spark is there. I'm inclined to agree.

 

CB

[twoplayful2 16]

Kissing is the biggest turn-on, the best forplay for both of us. Seems like restricting kissing is sterylizing things a bit. We did a FMF once and the girl would always kiss me (if you could call it that) with her mouth completely closed and lips almost sucked in. She'd even approach me first to kiss, not like I was always going after her for it. Turned out she only did that with me, the wife got the full treatment kissing. She was married (her husband was off playing), and I guess the rule just applied to other men?

[findtime 16]

Kissing members of the opposite sex is something we don't do. I kiss my female playmates, though.

 

We play quite a bit and haven't had it be a problem. At all. We are secure, in love, very sexual and open, but kissing is more of an emotional connection for us than the sex is. Our partners don't seem to mind.

 

We are not jealous, have not had issues with jealousy, have become friends with playmates and have gotten together on vanilla outings etc...

Not choosing to kiss really isn't indicative of "problems" in the relationship or insecurity about swinging, it's just a preference we have.

Hasn't slowed us down a bit.

[bear_n_bunny 43]

Damn straight I kiss my play partner. And yes, there is something very wierd about people who don't. I'm sorry, but if I'm going to put my face between your legs and my dick inside you, betcher ass I'm going to kiss you first. You can tell a lot about a person by kissing, never mind the fact that, to me, kissing is an integral part of the sexual act, and an extremely fun and erotic part of it to boot.

 

-- Bear

[hilltop 16]

How does it go? The eyes, windows to the soul - A kiss, it's door . . .

I love the feel of a playmate's lips . . .

[twoplayful2 16]

Maybe I'm wrong but I really do feel that "just a preference" towards not kissing really is an insecurity thing, at least to some degree. The same goes for stuff like not playing in same room or even in the same place at the same time. It's a turn-on factor for us to see our SO involved with others for sure, but I also must admit that it's not just that keeping us in the same room, there is a twinge of insecurity as well. Some people have that same twinge with kissing, it makes them uncomfortable and a little less secure, thus they prefer not to include it. I must admit that though we have an incredibly trusting and loving marriage, there is a level of security that we just haven't reached and perhaps never will. Most of those who can totally do their own thing and let their SO do theirs whenever and wherever and not feel the slightest bit of discomfort are the ones who've really reached the peak, IMHO. This isn't to knock those who aren't at that level, as we're in the same boat as all of them. We're comfortable, perfectly happy and very much enjoying our lifestyle as-is. And I didn't intend on hijacking the thread to take it in another direction. It's just something I've felt in topics like these and decided to blurt it out now.

[macallan_neat 16]

Getting screwed without the kiss???

 

I thought that was paying taxes ...

[Dynamar 246]

Getting screwed without the kiss???

 

I thought that was paying taxes ...

BWAH!

[Alura 2,774]

Findtime wrote:

 

Kissing members of the opposite sex is something we don't do.

 

I've asked, "If you don't kiss, what do you do [to replace it]?" It seems to me awkward, at best, to start sex without kissing.

 

How do y'all begin to play, Findtime?

 

Mr. Alura

[RNDNV 16]

Kissing members of the opposite sex is something we don't do... We are not jealous, have not had issues with jealousy,... it's just a preference we have.

 

Sorry Findtime, I don't buy that. There have been several times we have run into couples where the wife (and it always seems to be the wife who wants this rule more so than the man) says in so many words, "no kissing, that is special to us." I think that is insecurity and potential jealousy rearing its head. My wife thinks that rule is downright silly, and finds it absurd that a woman won't kiss me on the lips but she'll put my dick in her mouth!...

[dutch51 15]

We don't have a no kissing rule, and don't play with couples who do have such a rule. Kissing my husband is an intimate act, but kissing my playmate simply is not at the same level. After all, I'm not married to them; I don't love them. But kissing is part of foreplay, and if we're not going to be allowed to enjoy that, then it kind of kills everything else. Plus, it's almost instinctual, and who needs the stress and pressure of reminding yourself, okay, you can do this, or enjoy that, but for heaven's sakes, don't forget and accidentally kiss the guy! That's just asking for trouble... Why is it okay to kiss (or lick or suck or.... etc) a penis or a vagina, but the mouth is the one that's a no-no?

 

As for saving something that's going to be special or intimate for just me and hubby- that's simple- it's the LOVE we feel for each other that we reserve for each other, not kisses.

[let's do it again 414]

K and I  never had an issue about kissing our swap partners. I love kissing, but isn't such a big thing for K .  We have never been with partners with a no kissing rule. Seems awkward to me, having sex with this person but no kissing? For me, I like to see what kind of kisser my lover is, is she passionate and uses a lot of tongue, or is she more reserved and no tongue,  love the tongue!

[Numex 2,409]

I put "Always," but sometimes my wife and I do not kiss, even when having sex between ourselves, for two reasons.

 

The first is when one of us is having a very non-romantic fuck doggy style with a partner where not kissing is part of the milieu.  Sometimes it even happens between my wife and me.

 

The second situation is when either or both of us is fucking one partner while orally engaged with another person.  We find it particularly hot (and bonding) for Daniela and me to kiss while one or both of us is engaged in intercourse with someone else.  When most of our closed group is able to get together we can do more the orgy thing where one couple (not married to each other) stars screwing while their mouths are on other genitals or mouths.

 

So kissing a partner you're screwing isn't prohibited, it just doesn't always happen. 

Edited March 26, 2023 by Numex