"Spice Up Your Marriage" - Is that all there is to swinging?
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By KatrinaandDriverX
For me, it's not about having sex or sex acts or multiple partners. It is about 'feeding' different aspects of my personality, occasionally, in diverse ways with sex. It transcends role playing, it's a sexual moment as I'm giving, yielding, engaging and driving my partner(s) into an exquisite moment. To build them up, for the men to enter me in a pure moment that thrills or kissing a woman with tongues plunging deeply. I love it when someone I may have just met can surrender to me and I to them. Then, once we're done that it's perfectly alright to go to the next partner and, who knows, have that same person again later that night (or not). Or, if it's simply to play with another couple, have the sex with the husband be so great that the wife thanks me. Then, of course, there's the knowledge of my husband having another girl, whether it be a wife or innocent bystander, knowing she just might be asking herself if watching me fuck means my husband must be amazing (he is).
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By enjoyingfun
It is nice to get the chance to suck another man's cock but why? I just did this for my man and wow he loved it! Two friends came over and I did what he wanted to be the very the best I could be.
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By bbarnsworth
I happened across this study today, and it had some very interesting outcomes. The whole study bears reading. To tease you into reading it; "When asked whether they’d ever had various types of multipartner fantasies, just 5% of men and 13% of women had never done so" I.e., 95% of men and 87% of women in the 4k+ member study reported having fantasized about multipartner sexual relations. Wow! I expected it to be above 50%, but not that high.
More reading at: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/justin-lehmiller-science-of-fantasy
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By Valha
Hi, Mr. V. here. We have enjoyed some limited play experiences, some great, some so so, and Mrs. V all of a sudden is wanting to put swinging on hold and here's her reasoning why- She says that so far, none of the sex is as good as she has it with me so she's asking "what's the point?". I say because I've enjoyed watching her getting pleased from a new perspective and enjoy her coming back to me, and I've enjoyed new experiences and coming back to her. We've had great 'reclamation sex' too so I cited that as a reason. Is she expecting too much? Maybe we need to be a lot more selective in partners?
Anyways, I welcome your thoughts on this and how you would answer her question "if sex is so much better with my spouse, why swing at all?"
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By CXXC
In this thread Overcoming Objections to Swinging one question got me thinking.
-Worry that your desire for swinging means that they are not enough for you?
I really had to sit back and ponder this question for a couple days. Is my involvement in the lifestyle proof that my wife is not enough for me? Is her desire to play with others a sign that I am not enough for her? Are we active in the lifestyle to fill the void that we both have in our sexual desires and fantasies?
I am forced to consider that we may well not be enough for our spouses/SO’s. We all have desires and fantasies of being with others outside of our marriage beds. But why? Why are we excited by the idea of being with someone else?
It is not an emotional issue. We love our mates and, for most of us, have no desire to share that feeling with another. We are not lacking in our emotional capacity to stay emotionally true to one another. Emotional monogamy is never in question.
We are then brought to the physical aspect of our union. What is it that keeps us from being completely fulfilled by our mates? If they were everything and all we need, we would not have fantasies or desires for another. If they were “enough” for us in our passion or wants, we would have no need of others involvement.
If they are enough for us, why do we swing? Why do we take another to bed, engaged in virtually the very same activities and motions we share with our mates? How can we justify our partners as being enough for us if we continue to pursue these activities?
Do we do this out of fear of infidelity? Can we honestly say that, knowing our appetites for sex as we have openly expressed them, we would not stray in the future had we not been free to act within the lifestyle? Is this possibility the actual driving force behind the community?
Is the fact that my wife thinks about being with another man proof that I have not been enough to please her completely and wholly? Have I not been enough for her to commit to me and only me in both body and mind? To be truly “ENOUGH” she would no longer have fantasies of another’s involvement. I would not think of being with another woman. We would not imagine the touch and feel of another with such reverie!
I think this question deserves some true thought. For me, I would have to say, I am not enough for Mrs. CXXC. But in my limitation, I am ok with that!
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