Would someone's income be a factor in your decision to contact them?

[FunFLcpl 15]

There was a topic that came up in conversation the other day, and we wanted to get other swingers’ opinions on this. The conversation was about income levels; how some people are a little intimidated by people with larger incomes, and ones with larger incomes are a little snobbish about lower incomes. This spawned a few questions with us.

 

1. If you have a lower income level, does this hinder you from writing other swingers if their profile seems “uppity,” (pics taken on fancy boats, in large houses, by nice cars, etc.)

 

2. If you have a larger income level, does this hinder you from writing other swingers if their profile seems “poor,” (pics taken in or by mobile homes, in small houses, old cars, etc.)

 

3. Income does not come into play with the decision to contact or not contact other swingers.

 

B&K

[Alura 2,774]

We feel we have profound experience with both of the levels of income you refer to. No, neither level bothers us.

 

Alura

[Chicup 41]

We are middle-income right now, and are moving up to high income.

 

We base our bigotry on intelligence and education more then income. Income can be awkward, its hard to talk about your vaction with someone who is late on their rent, but its a lot worse to try to discuss the economy with someone who thinks the treasury department deals with burried treasure.

[SweetOne 15]

We don't look at income when meeting someone But now if we meet then and they are of hight income status then us and that is all they talk about. Then we have a problem.

 

Example... we were at a meet and greet and met this couple and all the guy talked about what how he bought his wife a sports car and they have all this money. For someone in our situation where money is tight due to child support and then us having an 18 month old, we feel like it is being rubbed in our face and at times we feel belittled because of it.

 

But for another example we have met a couple that again is of upper income that we get a long great with. They don't brag about their money and how they can buy this and that.. And yes understand how things are for us... and have given advice to us too.

[OhioCouple 40]

Income does not come into play with the decision to contact or not contact other swingers. We are more into compatibility than the old "who has what".

 

Lori

[sportync 20]

Income levels could be a factor with those with whom you choose to play. I can't really see how these young couples can afford to hit HedoII every year when we can just manage car insurance. Then again, you are not entering a contest here, you just want to play. If the people you meet up with are not snobs about their money, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sportync

[Quin 17]

Double ditto on this. When you start excluding those from your play and/or as friends who may not be at the same point, on the economic scale, that you are...you greatly diminish your playing/friendship field.

 

One thing that friends have said to me that I take pride in is that I seem to be just as comfortable in talking with and friendly to a street person as I am with those who are executives/successful business owners. I have always thought that has been the highest compliment a person can pay to me. To me, it means I'm not an elitist (which if I was, would absolutely make my mother the happiest mother on the face of the earth) and that I value everyone.

 

That couple who may be struggling to make ends meet every month today, may be the couple who could buy and sell your ass a million times over in a few years.

 

Quin

[dave_susie2001 15]

It's not the money that matters. I know couples that could buy and sell me many times over, but they are down to earth, average everyday folks. You would never know that they are millionaires. By the same token, I know people who struggle to meet their monthly obligations, and they're assholes. Vice-versa also applies here.

 

Good people come in all shapes, colors, and income brackets. Those are the people we're looking for. Assholes (unfortunately) also come in all shapes, colors and income brackets. Those are the people we try like hell to avoid.

[sexualhealingmn 15]

Money is not part of our selection criteria. But we are in the higher income bracket and from time to time we find that some couples of lesser financial means are intimidated.

 

It is not that we talk about our money. But once you develop a relationship with a couple, you let them on the 'inside' of your life. They see the home you live in. They know what you do for a living. All these things establish an income 'expectation' in the minds of the other couple.

 

Some can deal with it -- no problem

Others can't deal with it -- bye bye.

 

Mr. S.H.

[Alura 2,774]

Hmmm. Come to think about it, the two couples we had long term relationships with were both financially secure while two of the non-successful experiences were not.

 

While we've always attributed the problems to other incompatibilities, perhaps it is as simple as "Water seeks it's own level..."

 

We'll have to ponder this question more...

 

Alura

[C@YWMI 15]

I guess I fall into that other category I am not of a higher income level.and I feel some what intimitidated of people that are obviuosly of a higher income bracket. It is not the income level that bothers me as much as it is an eduction level that bother's me the most. I find it hard to communicate with people of a much higher education. But in any case that is my hang up not there's.

[OhioCouple 40]

I am going to try real hard to explain something here, I'll probably fail, but what the hell.

 

We live in a neighborhood that is considered to be affluent for our county. If the city name is mentioned many turn their noses up as though we are too snobbish to talk to. My husband has lived here all of his life, I have only been here for 9 years. The funny thing is, as intimidated as I was to move into this area, I now find it funny. We all put our clothes on the same way, we care about our neighbors and their welfare. Sure some make a heck of a lot of money, but you will see these same people on their off days in blue jeans raking their lawns or pulling weeds and chasing kids like no tomorrow.

 

My husband has an MS degree. He is a hands on business man, one that works hard in his field. He cannot type worth a damn and usually has me do all of the typing for him. He has only recently learned how to effectively use the mouse when it comes to a computer. (It took forever to learn right click vs left click...LOL)

 

I on the other had left high school early (sex got in the way) and was 30 before I decided that I needed and received my GED. I did attend some college afterwards, but with 2 jobs and 3 kids, it was somewhat difficult to master. What I did come away with is LIFE experience. There is no monetary replacement for that.

 

My point being here, don't feel intimidated by anyone or any person. Sure you may not feel comfortable with someone that prefers to dine in 5 star restaurants, (I wouldn't either, tho I have been forced to do so), take it to an intellectual level, don't be intimidated and be open enough to see what you may have in common, intellectually. You would be surprised how appealing and refreshing that is to those that you meet. If you are snubbed, heck ya didn't wanna know 'em anyway.

 

Lori

[sexualhealingmn 15]

Education Intimidation .... never gave that a lot of thought before, but i can clearly see that this could be an issue for some.

 

I think its important to remember that education comes in all forms. For example, I have a rather high IQ and advanced degree and my best friend in the world didn't even finish grammar school!

 

We both think it is interesting ...

 

How do we make it work? While he's not school educated, he has the most common sense of any person i know. Plus he's a mechanical genius (can fix anything) -- while I have five thumbs.

 

I guess you could say that we each admire the other's strengths and that admiration overshadows any focus on our respective weakness.

 

So next time you start to feel intimidated by someone with higher education, think about the things YOU are best at...and then challenge their competency and knowledge on that!!! Who knows, you might start intimidating them

 

Mr. S.H.

[OhioCouple 40]

So very well said. My husband can give you the latest up to the minute finances of darn near every company that ever existed since the year 1700. However, he can't even begin to figure out how to tell when a pasta has reached the point that it needs to be pulled off the stove. After many futile attempts to try and teach him, I resorted to saying "Hey take a piece and throw it on the wall! If it sticks...it's done." He does make a killer spaghetti sauce though. It is the only thing he knows how to cook, (that is, if I monitor the stove...he has no clue on that either) otherwise he is hot on his phone to call and order carry out, the same phone that he has no clue that it has multiple functions.

 

He is also a motorhead who can solve any sort of problem, for "any" sort of vehicle, but yet can't figure out how to operate the VCR. :::shaking head::: I gave up on that one several years ago! I don't think I'll help him with the DVD player yet, my patience won't allow it and besides they will probably be obsolete anyway before I could teach him how to turn it on and off. ROFL!

 

Hmmmm wondering now how we ever got together...Opposites do attract! And I know for a fact this applies in the world of swinging also.

 

Lori

[dave_susie2001 15]

OK…we’re now talking education. “Now I don’t want to get off on a rant here,” but in my experience…and this entire post IS being stereotypical…people with a higher level of education have a higher level of “snobbishness” to them. I’m not talking BS, BA, or even MA degrees. I’m talking PhD’s. Not all of em mind you, but the majority of PhD’s I have met have had the “Holier than Tho” attitude. One in particular stands out…Lori…I’m referring to the email I sent you….

 

Also, it seems to me that the higher level of education you have, the less common sense you seem to have retained. It’s like you’re preoccupied with the cure for cancer and forgot how to change a light bulb. Sometimes it’s just coincidence that higher education means higher income when it comes to the reason you are intimidated by someone. Those PhD’s out there that do not fit this stereotype, I salute you. You are few and far between.

 

Everyone is attracted to something different. But most folks like to be around people just like themselves. Sharing common interests and experiences are the building blocks of friendship. If that’s what you’re looking for in a swinging relationship, then I suggest that you seek out couples in this category.

 

If on the other hand, you are not as interested in a relationship outside of the bedroom, then there may be more leeway for meeting couples in a different educational/income “bracket” than yourselves.

 

Remember, in truth it doesn’t matter what your education level and income bracket is. It’s who you are and how you deal with life that matters. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Assholes come in all colors, shapes, sizes, income brackets and education levels. But so do good people.

 

I would like to close this post by saying that I have 3 degrees, AA, BA and BS. I do not consider myself HIGHLY educated, but I am educated. I also consider myself to have retained the common sense that I gained from 13 years of military life. We’re looking for couples “just like us!” “Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.”

[OhioCouple 40]

Gene just informed me that I wasn't being fair. I didn't point out my flaws! ROFL

 

I couldn't care less about financial thingies. The business channel bores me to tears, and I won't balance my check book. I figure why bother, they send you a statment every month, which I rarely read and I have always kept a padded amount to keep from an overdraft. This drives him nuts. He would spend an hour trying to find where he is .02 cents off, I figure, if I do happen to read the statement, and if it looks within reason...sounds good to me! I am not about to waste my time looking for a few dollars here and there.

 

He has tried numerous times to teach me about finances and the latest stock trading etc. It hasn't caught on and I doubt it ever will. He has pretty much given up. I tell him to handle all my stocks and do whatever he wants with them, to me it is money already spent whether I utilized it or not.

 

I make a fairly comfortable income and try not to stress over these little matters. I also do not let others income or education intimidate me.

 

I am who I am, and I am comfortable with it. That is what matters most and that is what others see.

 

Lori

[OhioCouple 40]

First and foremost, I tip my hat to you and Salute you Sir, for the services you have given and CONTINUE to give.

 

Secondly, the e-mail you sent deserves to be put in the Veterans topic. Since it is rather lengthy though, it may be best to post a link.

 

Lori

[TNT 1,155]

I think that the most important thing to remember when dealing with people of higher education or a higher level of income is that NO ONE can make you feel inferior or intimidate you unless you allow them to do so.

 

Teresa

[FunFLcpl 15]

We would like to thank all of you that responded to this topic. The reason we started this topic was to see if our thinking was normal. We are not the Rockefellers, but we are not thinking about where are next meal is going to come from either. We are both professionals, but our bills meet our income. Kerri is a nurse and Bob is an instructor for firefighters, plus we are both working on our second degrees (Kerri for Medical Management and Bob for Business Administration).

 

We have been on both sides of the fence (poor and middle income). Looking at the topic from lower income, it is very intimidating to approach swingers from a higher tax bracket. For example, let’s say you were to meet a couple for dinner. You pull in the parking lot driving an old rusted out car, and the other couple pulls up in a new BMW. Regardless of what people might say, it is a little intimidating and/or embarrassing for the couple driving the old car. Also, yes we all might put our pants on one leg at a time, but when you’re of lower income those pants are old and might not look so good.

 

Now looking at it from the middle income level, people really do not give money a second thought. It is easy to pay the rent on a hotel room, buy that nice dinner, or afford the gas to drive 100 miles to meet new swingers. When it is easy to do these things, people then tend to look at the education level of others. Education comes in to play, for when having a conversation people do not like to hear words like “Duh, or Well-uh.” This might be why this turned into a topic about “education” instead of “income.” It seems that people tend to look at education as a commonality so that an intellectual conversation can take place.

 

That being said, we personally do not look at income or education levels. The only thing we look at is personalities, trustfulness, and senses of humor. We have had just as much fun sitting on the back of a pickup truck, in the woods, drinking a beer. As we have had going out to a nice restaurant and/or going to a club and spending a lot of money. As far as education goes, we feel that it does not matter if one has a Masters degree or if that person had a GED. The person with a higher education might be able to open doors for you, but on the flip side of that coin, the person with the GED that might be working as a laborer in construction, can help fix that door when it falls of the hinges.

 

Once again, thank you for all the great responses,

 

Bob and Kerri

[Quin 17]

Along this vein, appearances can be very deceiving. The person driving the old beat up car could be on the same level as the person driving the BMW...even at that, the person driving the old beat up car is probably better off because they don't have the beamer payment and is able to make money on the money he would spend on a depreciating car even by simply having it sit in a low interest checking/savings account whereas the beamer person is not only paying for his loan on the beamer but also paying the interest rate.

 

I have a few friends who are this very way. One has his master's in fiber optic engineering (think that's the *formal* subject that his degree is in), is making well over 200K a year, lives in the paid off house his parents left him and he drives a 1986 Ford Tempo with over 250,000 miles on it. Some people can squeeze a penny so hard it can make even the most frugal person cringe.

 

About ten years ago, in Dayton, there was this bum who died. He was a fixture in downtown Dayton. Everyone who worked down there knew or knew of *Bill*. He was dirty, had ragged clothes, was homeless and always stayed at St Vincent DePaul. When he died, it was made public that the old bum that everyone knew was actually worth a few million dollars.

 

I'm sure we all know people like those above. Appearances can be very deceiving and while the person may drive an old car...or wear outdated clothes...or look like they just came from the hobo convention, isn't always indicative of their actual worth, monetarily.

 

Quin

[Guest Unregistered]

I would like to apologize it wasn't my intent to change the subject. I was trying to in a roundabout way to make a correlation between the higher income brackets, and education the two do seem to go hand in hand.

 

And a lot of good points was made. I will use a lot of these, you can only be intimidated, if you let them do that to you,we all put out pants on the same way,and we all have our strong points and weak points no matter who you are.

[anandjeff2 15]

We hve always preferred to meet people who were able to hold a decent conversation wahtever the topic(sorry for the typso new keyboard anooying as heck) and we dont care what their income is nor hwo big their house is..as long as they have respect for it and themselves and for others we couldnt care less about how much their net worth is. ON the same hand we cant stand shallow people who only think of how much they htink theyre impressing people by their clothes, car and money. All I ask of a person we meet is they be honest respecatble inteliigent people. I dont find a college eduction to make anym\one better than the next person..half the time I find the more impressed someone is with their education the less I am impressed with them..

 

An

[MattMann 17]

In our case, we have met with couples who have less education, but make MUCH more money!

[Alura 2,774]

Many years ago I wandered into a cafe in a small New Mexico town to have lunch. I chanced to sit by an unshaven, dusty, older cowboy and struck up a conversation. We talked about horses, cattle, politics, cars, home towns, careers and women. He was quite an interesting person. I was struck by his intelligence contrasted with his appearance. Although he spoke with a country drawl, as one would expect from a man who made his living wading through horse and cow shit, his vocabulary was excellent. In fact, he reminded me of some of the characters in stories by O. Henry!

 

He offered me a job! I naturally assumed it would be punching cattle so I told him I was busy with other things. He left the restaurant before I did and while the waitress was cleaning up his dishes, she told me he was the richest man in the county. He did, indeed, own a large spread and she had heard he was looking for a right-hand-man to oversee his other operations.

 

You just never know...

 

Mr. Alura

[Sweetdevil 17]

A general observation of people who have a high income level and are snobbish, are like people who have a low income level and are resentful. Both are projecting their insecurities, rather than being more objective!

 

From experience, most of us are in the middle having some bias and acknowledging our biases, while trying to accept others as they are and not what they or don't have.

[youngish56 15]

Seems to me just another area where couples are either compatible or not. This is a consumer driven society. We all spend up to our incomes and have the experiences our incomes have afforded.

 

If one pretentious male wants to compare the relative merits of the BMW V-12 vs the Benz V-12 and the other wants to brag about the mud-slinging ability of his Ford F-350 4WD, you have an incompatibility, largely caused by different income levels.

 

If it weren't politically incorrect, I think it could be one of the first questions we ask when wondering about compatibility with new acquaintances. "could you please tell me the value of your assets and what brand is your wrist watch ?". Outrageous exaggeration, of course, but I hope I made my small point. Income is a very important area of compatibility.

[Chicup 41]

I haven't worn a watch in about 12 years and I think my current net worth wouldn't be over 30k.

 

Guess my education level!

Guess my 'earning potential'!

 

[youngish56 15]

Re: guess my education and earning potential.Certainly no way of knowing from your two brief sentences. But like all humans I've already gotten a "mental image" of you from the first phrase that impressed me.

 

I'd GUESS - you're a rebel-type person who has trouble conforming to any large peer group. You would like to describe yourself as a free thinking, confident individual who doesn't need the assurances of others in feeling that your views are the correct ones. You have to have the last word and you're a heavy dope smoker.

 

You asked an impossible question and I gave you an equally worthless answer. This has either been a waste of time or a valuable exchange of ideas. How will either of us ever know?

[Chicup 41]

Originally posted by youngish56

If it weren't politically incorrect, I think it could be one of the first questions we ask when wondering about compatibility with new acquaintances. "could you please tell me the value of your assets and what brand is your wrist watch ?". Outrageous exaggeration, of course, but I hope I made my small point. Income is a very important area of compatibility.

 

I'm just pointing out how even if you did this, the answers would be somewhat worthless.

 

I'm a young doctor with a lot of school debt who just doesn't like to wear a watch.

[sinc 15]

If the couple has posted a snobby ad showing off a large income then if they have to use that to get a response then i would say they are either exaggerating or if not then they would be so self centered and uptight that they would be no fun to be with. Income shouldn't even have to be brought up unless your just looking to get somebody's money and I don't think anyone who has a lot of money would brag about it in an add . If they have enough money to make somebody feel uncomfortable then they're not that naive to trust telling everyone on the net.

 

I wouldn't want to get on a swingers board to discuss money. I'm here to have fun and talk openly with others who can be open and have fun at the same time . You don't pay for friends and you don't swing to an ad with only whats in the ad without finding out more personally sexually you are both open to.

[L&K 15]

I don't often agree with quin, but I do think she has hit the key here . The wife and i have a larger then normal income, but we simply don't fit in with the high society people , we were both born relatively poor and made our own money , we can go where we want or wright a check for anything we wish to buy, new cars etc. But we wear blue jeans and prefer it that way.

 

Quin states she has an ability to associate with people from all income levels , i have met people like that and i only wish i had that ability. Income can play a part as you simple can not afford to go on a high priced vacation but over all it is really your ability to associate with all class's of people.

 

The wife's grandmother could talk with the press or talk to the homeless with equal comfort, I'd trade in a hell of a lot of my cash for that ability.

[sinc 15]

I can feel comfortable with anyone because I never worried who has more money. I can enjoy life with or without much money. Granted money you can buy more but oh well I dont need to impress anyone. If you met someone and didn't know how much money they had would you be able to spend time talking?

 

Would you meet somebody and ask them their income? I don't see income when I meet and talk to people, I'm only interested in the person they are. Do you think that its because you know their income amount that you can't talk to them?

 

I have a motto I live by:

 

LIVE YOUR LIFE AS YOU WANT TO! LIVE THE WAY YOU WANT NOW BECAUSE WHO KNOWS IF THERE WILL BE A TOMORROW.

IMPRESS YOURSELF! DON'T WORRY SO MUCH! MONEY DOESN'T DO MUCH FOR YOU IF YOU AREN'T HAPPY.

 

I've been up and down moneywise and at least if you don't have it you don't buy as much. Right?

[L&K 15]

Let me better claify what i was saying , for me the money is not the issue , its the attitude they carry . It has been my experience that those with a high income simply forgot how to enjoy the simple things in life and have a dry sense of humor , this certainly does not apply to every one with high income nor does it exclud those with low income .

 

Money can , and often does change people , they no longer care for a tent camping trip or a burger at McDonalds . When i find that in a person i dont care to talk with them .

 

Again for those with the ability to snob with the snobs and step down to comon folks conversation i hold in the highest regard , we all have personality faults and there lies mine .

 

Im narrow minded , not a great trait to have but admire my honesty .

 

L formerly M

[sinc 15]

I agree that money does change people and they usually forget how to have fun. I probably am to easy going but i do like most people. I know I would not respond to an uptight couple. Uptight is no fun.

[Alura 2,774]

We like to entertain. When we "throw a party" there will be forty to fifty guests. At the last one, we had three folks who probably have incomes in six figures and would likely be classified as "millionaires." There were four couples who, we know for sure, struggle to pay their bills and usually fail to get them all. Everyone else was somewhere in between. No one appeared to be uncomfortable. Everyone had a good time and raved about the food and drink.

 

What's the problem with money, here? We make friends because of folks hearts, not their money or lack of it. The only time money might enter the conversation is in the rare event that we are asked for a loan. We discourage this because loans between friends usually result in the end of the friendship.

 

We're not talking about playful friendships and recognize that swinging is a much closer friendship than we have with the folks described above. Still, money has never been a help or a hinderance with us. The two things that will kill a playful friendship for us is the inability to carry on an intriguing conversation and lousy kissing.

 

Alura

[L&K 15]

We too ran into that , either a very bad at kissing or not wanting to kiss at all , that was a bad thing for us and afriad to say Sue ran into that with every guy she had been with .

 

Money is not persay what I was talking about but rather the attitude that can come with it . I think this could be very much related to the fact we live in a poor comunity , the percappata here is far below average . There for the handful of well to do's tend to place them selfs above the rest of the community . Our income is well above average for our area but may be barely above average say in Det . Where we developed a problem with well to do's is this .

 

Born poor , in time we made our own , Those who would not give us the time of day all of a sudden think we should come to the country club and snub those i would rahter fish and hunt with . I am not that self rightous to place my self above any one . I do not automatically dislike some one who makes 6 figures it will depend if there nose is in the air . In our area that is a given if they make 6 figures , of course like every thing there is an exception here and there .

 

Socializing for me means to be relaxed , if im going out to dinner it will be a family restraunt not the country club , if i have to wear a suit and tie some one died or is getting married . I just find those wiht a large income seem to fall into a social atittude i dont care to frantinize with .

 

L or M

 

I do truly addmire those who can socialize with any class of people with ease , My lack of ability there is a down fall for sure .

[Alura 2,774]

Originally posted by Sweetdevil

A general observation of people who have a high income level and are snobbish, are like people who have a low income level and are resentful. Both are projecting their insecurities, rather than being more objective!

 

Absolutely, Sweetdevil!

 

We're certainly glad to see you posting. We missed you for awhile there.

 

Alura

[Mariposa_y_Oso 15]

Here's my take on the topic:

 

We are middle class, probably right in the middle of that bracket somewhere. We don't have brand new cars and we live in an apartment, we don't own our own house. We've met people from many different walks of life and income levels since we've gotten into the Lifestyle. Maybe we've just been lucky, but so far it's never really been an issue. Mari and I are comfortable with where we are. Sure, there are things we'd like to have and we are far from reaching all our goals, but we don't walk around green with envy all the time, either. Besides, I think it would be cool playing with a couple that is just obscenely rich! How else am I ever going to get the opportunity to mess around on a huge fancy boat? I say fuck the rich (literally! ) and take advantage of living the good life every now and then!

 

The other topic brought up matters much more to us than income level. I think that "education level" is a bit of a misnomer, however. For us, it's intelligence. I went to college on a wrestling scholarship, but managed to party myself out of school (not that it would have mattered, but that's another story for another time). After Mari and I started dating, I went back to school for a while longer and made the Dean's List, but we decided to get married, and I never got around to going back. She went to a business school a couple of years ago and got a diploma, but neither of us have college degrees. We both consider ourselves to be intelligent people with a good dosage of common sense. Because of the fact that we like to get to know people before we play with them, we find it hard to get excited and involved with people that are intellectually incompatible with us. Neither of us are geeks and snob out because someone can't discuss quantum physics with us(as if WE could! lol), but when you are talking to someone and it's obvious that their idea of metal stimulation is watching paint chips flake off a wall....well, there's a compatability problem there.

 

Even more than that, though, are our four BIGGIES when it comes to playing: Personality, stability, enthusiasm, and hygiene. We like people that enjoy laughing and are in the Lifestyle for the right reasons - to have fun. We aren't into playing mind or emotional games. They have to be mentally and relationshipally (YES! IT'S A NEW WORD DAMMIT! lol) stable. We had some bad experiences there with some people that just should not be in the Lifestyle. There should be enthusiasm there all the way around. It's no fun when it's obvious that they are both hot for her and you're just there because you come as a pair (been there before, too! lol) As for hygiene...I think that one's pretty self-expanatory. It does, however tie into the original topic. We'd much rather play with a couple that are wearing WalMart clothes that smell Downy-fresh, that are clean and neatly groomed and obviously take some pride in themselves and their appearance rather than a couple that are wearing the latest Paris fashions, but her dress has crusty cumstains and they both could use a good hosing down!

 

With that wonderful mental image, I think I'll stop.

 

Cheers!

~Mike

[studyingthestyle 15]

Having not actually done the swinging thing yet, my two cents woth is the following.

 

In a lot of instances education and income do go hand in hand but not always. Recently my wife got a ticket for speeding and we decided to have it reduced for fear of higher insurance rates. We have a neighbor that is a lawyer. He handled the ticket and billed us $350 for his services, which I thought was a little high , but, we paid it. A couple of months later he had some electrical trouble in his office and he called me to help. By the way I am an electician. It took me 3 days to find the problem and 2 more to fix it. The bill I sent him was srticktly by the book. He called me up and chewed my ass for charging him so much. "We are neighbors, can't you give me a discount?"

 

My point is rather or not you are looking into finding another couple or just dealing with people in general, the world needs all kind of people, with all kinds of professions. All of us at one time or another needed the services of some one who looked like they were the dirtiest or nastiest person we had ever seen. But we needed that persons service at that time, and were damned happy to pay them.

 

If Mrs and I do decide to follow through and start the lifestyle, I hope that we are wise enough to judge people on the personal qualities and not if they are able fly first class or if they can only afford Grey hound.

 

 

Mr Sparky

[Sweetdevil 17]

Men will understand what I am about to say and is by no means putting down anyone.

 

We men look for the most attractive woman and let out mind wonder with lustful thoughts, while the girl next door is just that, the girl next door!

 

Generally, people within the swinging lifestyle look at "high" income as being good swinging partners, because of lustful thoughts. While all the time failing to look at the couple next door.

 

We men know some of our best sex has been with the girl next door. So, don't over look the couple next door or down the street with the same or lower income and go for the "higher income."

 

And by the same token do not overlook the "down-to-earth" couple with a high income who are lustful as you!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

It's always fun to see what you dig up in the archives and sometimes I run across a thread that I think is worth another shot. This is one of those. I added a poll to it but don't let that stop you from sharing your opinion

[VegasLee 1,486]

We always base our play on the people. We don't care what their income level is, their education level, if their house has wheels or not. None of that matters to us. It is all about the people.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Explain how you guys are able to determine by simply looking at an on-line profile how much a prospective partner's income might be. I've seen information about body size, bust size, dress size, height, length, circumference and religious affiliation but not dollars per year.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

LOL. I think income would be easier than religious affiliation. I think the original post referred to what you can see in the pictures - ie. big boats, trailers, etc.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We don't care one way or another. You treat us respectfully and we'll treat you the same way. Attitude, people skills, and honesty is what's it all about.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ok, I'm the one dissenter in the poll and I'll explain. It's not so much about looking like the make less than us but moreso if based on the pictures we see in their profile they look like they might come from a different "class" than us. Flame me, I'll totally understand. For example, we were looking for local clubs/parties to check out and one that we ran across was a house party about an hour away and as I looked through the pictures of the people in the group and the pictures that appeared to be from their "house party", the people did not look like our type of people, they did not seem to care much about their appearance, the location looked like it was probably a mobile home, and in general the vibe we got from the pics was "low class". Money itself if not the or any issue. If we met a couple out at a club and got to know them the subject of income would never come up, but when looking through ads if it stands out, it is going to make a difference on who we might respond to.

 

Speaking of clubs, there is a couple who has gone to one of our local socials several times and on multiple occasions they have managed to get there only to say they didn't have money to get home and someone actually paid for them a cab... or worse they came out to dinner with our group one night and didn't bring money and bummed dinner off another couple. I would have no interest in this couple again not because they obviously lack money but because they lack "class" and the sense enough to know that if you can't afford to go out you should stay your butt at home.

 

We like to go out and have a good time, we like nice dinners, we like wine, and we like to hang out with people who like to (and can afford to) do that too.

[cubnamy1995 124]

You don't need to money to act like you have a little class. I'm always self-conscious on this subject. While, by all definitions, we would be considered middle-class, we also have 3 school-aged boys and a baby. Anybody here ever had to feed three boys?

 

We may not have much in the way of money, toys, etc. but we have what we need, and we have a wonderful family life. I don't have a boat, atv, or harley. We don't do lots of traveling. While I am happy with everything I have, and am content in my life, I know there are people in this world who would not associate with us because we don't do those things. That used to bother me, but I got over it. Now, I am at peace with my place in this world, and those who would look down on me or my family don't deserve the privilege of my company.

 

As far as people who make less than us? We have no issue with that whatsoever. Like I said, class is a state of mind, not a figure in your checkbook. If you have class and a sense of pride about yourself, then we will get along fine.

[sexcupid 809]

Speaking of clubs, there is a couple who has gone to one of our local socials several times and on multiple occasions they have managed to get there only to say they didn't have money to get home and someone actually paid for them a cab... or worse they came out to dinner with our group one night and didn't bring money and bummed dinner off another couple. I would have no interest in this couple again not because they obviously lack money but because they lack "class" and the sense enough to know that if you can't afford to go out you should stay your butt at home.

 

Wow...these folks have a set the size of bowling balls....

 

Maybe I'm just in awe because even in 'vanilla' life...there have been plenty of times I've not had the cash to go do something I want, or to be able to pay for my dinner or whatever. Now, for most folks...I wouldn't say sorry I'm broke and waiting for payday. If my mom called and asked if I wanted to do dinner and I told her I'm broke...if someone then extends the offer to pay for it, I am grateful and will reciprocate as soon as I can. But I don't just go to mooch off of someone else KNOWING going into a situation that I can't pay my way. That seriously takes more gumption than I've got. lol

 

The thing is, 'class' doesn't come with a dollar amount. I mean 'The Beverly Hillbillies' was built on that whole premise. Eh, maybe not the best example...but maybe you will get my meaning. There are some folks that it doesn't matter how much money they have they will not have 'class'...and on the flip side of that there are some that are getting by and maybe don't live in the nicest place that are the nicest folks in the world.

 

We don't live in a huge house, I'm currently just going to school and my sweetie's job allows me that right now. He makes enough to pay the bills and we live comfortably and are able to go do the things we want to do or buy the things we want to have and not have to worry about it breaking the bank. Are we extravagant? Hardly.

 

I agree with the whole picture thing. I don't know that I would be put off by seeing a Harley, boat, or convertible in the profile pics. Some folks that aren't in a higher income bracket just save up and get their dream toy. Why look down on someone for that? The thing is, you just don't know until you meet someone to get to know that kind of thing.

 

I think it would be a total bore to have to listen to someone go on and on about their many travels, many toys, and piles of money that they have.

[The Fuse 1,012]

Our profile says: "We don't care if you live in a shack or a palace as long as you're happy and fun to be around."

 

We're not intimidated if someone makes a lot more money than we do. If someone makes a lot less, we don't care as long as they don't. The only times that someone having money would affect our opinion of them are a) if they expect their being rich to somehow make them more attractive as playmates, or b) if they seem overly conscious of and preoccupied with their own wealth.

 

We've been to parties at one friends' house where they have broken-down vehicles in their yard, and to another friends' house that could be featured in Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (Lifestyles -- get it? Hee). We enjoyed both. The fancy parties are fun, but so are the no-frills ones.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The thing is, 'class' doesn't come with a dollar amount.

 

You are absolutely right and it really is more of an issue of class than of money by far. And like I said if we were at a club we'd never have a clue how much you make nor would we ask (for that matter we wouldn't ask in any situation - that's just rude). But when it stands out is obvious right in your face it's another thing. Same thing goes with our vanilla friends, if we know that they can't afford to go out and have fun then we aren't going to push them to do the things that cost money but at the same time we may not hang out with them as much as we do the other friends who can afford to go to concerts, out to movies, dinner, etc. So when it comes to the swinging world it's the same thing, if it's obvious that they probably aren't making much and can't afford to do the things we enjoy we probably won't be contacting them.