For active swingers: Who knows about it outside the community?
207 members have voted
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By TricianMike
Michael and I continue to see a therapist both together and separately. Over the years we have both become more open to telling her what experiences and feelings we have with others and the reasons we enjoy others. I will never know what he tells her in his private sessions though I am very open in our joint meetings.
We have told her that we post some of our experiences on a swingers site, it’s more me posting, Michael doesn’t post anymore. She asked if I embellish my posts because many post on sites about fantasies more than realities. I think I post real feelings as best as I can but I know what she means that posting has an excitement factor like reliving an event. Others will post something they wished they did almost as if they did it.
Michael and I were very hesitant to open up to our therapist our alternative lifestyle thoughts when we first met her. I opened up first in my private meetings and then only in a broad way with no specific acts. I didn’t think she would understand what we were doing or how she would judge me. Therapy was to take away my odd feelings which ended up adding to my thinking my actions were odd. Once getting over my fears of opening up my deep thoughts it has freed up anxiety of enjoying.
I think I have a healthier outlook now that I have freed myself of worrying what others think and what a therapist thinks. Our joint sessions are now very freeing allowing me to express my feelings to Michael and understanding his feelings.
How open are others? Do others discuss true feelings to a partner? Are you honest to a therapist?
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By ClosetSwinger
My husband and I just established with a new doctor. I really like her, she seems very nice and easy to talk to. This is a good thing right?
I am going back in next week for a well woman check. It's just my yearly and I am having no problems. I do want her to check me for everything (again not having problems but would like to have that peace of mind) though but I am not really sure how to ask. My plan is to just say "Since we are already doing a Pap can you just check me for everything else too". My fear is that she will ask questions why since she knows I am married.
What should I say if she asks me why? Any ideas? I'd rather not say I think hubby is cheating but I ALSO don't want to tell her I'm a swinger either!
HELP!
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By udsarge
So I've came across this on TIKTOK, and thought I'd ask in a broader way. Do you have a contingency plan for your adult toys (and I'm adding pictures, correspondences, and other documentary evidence) if you happen to pass away? What will happen to that kind of stuff when you go? Have you even thought about it, or would it even matter to you?
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By Guest warrencouple
(to the Brady Bunch theme)
Here's the story,
Of a fun loving couple,
Who really like the idea of a sex swing,
But they know a stand would be more effort than they want...
OK, I can't keep this going, ditch the theme music...
But, anyways, yes, the wife and I have looked at, and wanted, a sex swing for some time now. Problem being, we have a smaller house, no basement, and ceiling fans in every room. If we could figure out some way to put a bracket up to support a sex swing, we'd likely go ahead and get one, but where to put it, and how to "disguise" the bracket? Sometimes, when we take a vacation, and go away somewhere, her Mom house-sits for us, so either having a bracket that can be "disguised" as something else, or completely hidden, would be great.
One thought I've had, would be to mount a board (2x4 or 4x4) across two joists, for the eye-bolt to attach to, and cut a square of ceiling drywall out, with some way to put the square back in place to cover the hole when not using the swing.
While the idea of getting the stand is not a bad one, again, with the size of our house, the only room we could set this up in, would be the living room. If you've got one, with stand, how much work is it to set up and tear down, and how compact does the stand get? Could we stash the stand under the bed (collapsed, of course)?
Thanks,
Jason
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By Fundamental Law
While this is news, it is not particularly positive news.
Re: Jerry Falwell, Jr and his family, for example here:
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-falwell-relationship/
Here are the first two paragraphs of the report:
WASHINGTON – In a claim likely to intensify the controversy surrounding one of the most influential figures in the American Christian conservative movement, a business partner of Jerry Falwell Jr has come forward to say he had a years-long sexual relationship involving Falwell’s wife and the evangelical leader.
Giancarlo Granda says he was 20 when he met Jerry and Becki Falwell while working as a pool attendant at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach hotel in March 2012. Starting that month and continuing into 2018, Granda told Reuters that the relationship involved him having sex with Becki Falwell while Jerry Falwell looked on.
Ignoring the political aspects of the timing of all of this, there are some takeaways.
1. Political leanings are irrelevant to biological drives, sexual fantasies, and the behaviors that follow.
2. The problems arise from the evident hypocrisies: preaching 'family values' (however defined) while practicing something beyond a standard of marital monogamous heterosexuality.
3. Institutions and groups that perpetuate such hypocrisies typically respond the same way, namely by denouncement and expulsion of the person(s) who have been "found out" and restatement of the institutional/group value.
4. There is a business dispute including accusations of extortion folded into all of this.
It is absurd to imagine that leaders are somehow immune from fantasies and the intentions to act on those fantasies. What would be more helpful are commonsense boundaries between public and private lives as well as reasonable display of integrity. Even then, humans find ways to accommodate 'sinful behaviors' while embracing integrity:
Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.
[aloud]
Captain Renault: Everybody out at once!
Neither the evangelical community nor Mr. Falwell's employers should be "shocked, shocked" to find that (even) their annppointed spokesperson enjoyed variety in sexual expression, apparently with the knowledge and consent and participation of his wife of 34 years. Adopting the usual denouncement-and-expulsion-upon-being-found-out strategy ("Do as we say, not what he did!--He was weak and you must be strong!") merely reinforces the idealized pretense of purity. The reality is that tensions between sexual suppression and sexual expression are as old as civilization. While individuals and institutions can impose rules on themselves and set expectations for others, a bit of realism would be welcome: the aforementioned tensions cannot be "wished away". At the same time, business dealings with playmates might be predicted to end badly, as appears to have happened in this case.
The Reuters article concludes:
In a statement released Friday, before news of the relationship with Granda became public, Liberty University said its “decision whether or not to retain Falwell as president has not yet been made.” Its board of trustees, the statement read, “requested prayer and patience as they seek the Lord’s will and also seek additional information for assessment.”
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