Outstanding things people say in their profile

[Guest rdy46227]

Yes. Toby Keith – As Good As I Once Was (3:48) Actual song starts at :23.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Yes. Toby Keith – As Good As I Once Was (3:48) Actual song starts at :23.

Hey, it's good to know that people are lifting this kind of folk wisdom to put into their on-line profiles. And I'm glad you researched the video. Great fun watching it. :thumbsup:

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Found this tag line with a SwingLifeStyle profile:

 

I'll make you famous.

 

Now isn't that just exactly what every lifestyle couple wants?

[Dancing2Some 57]

First post from new board members...

 

Our "standard disclaimers list" from our own SLS profile

............................................................................................................

 

No humping, No pushing, No sniffing heinys

 

No bathroom activities; ok,maybe a shared shower,but nothing yucky

 

No drugs, gerbils or other small herbivores, especially in combination. Gerbils are not nearly as mellow as you would think when they are stoned.

 

No rough stuff.(While we may tolerate the occasional wet willy; tittie-twisters, purple-nurples, noogies and charlie horses are absolutely out)

 

Don't expect her to swallow, You wouldn't swallow a strangers manchowder, would you? Of course if you do, there's more than enough to go around. Be courteous, the time to announce that you're going to cum, is not after the eruption. Trust me, she won't leave you hanging, she just prefers to "call the shots".

 

No anal, that's reserved for us,so when it comes to DP,he gets the back door. Of course with all of these extra orifices,we're sure we can work out something that's beneficial for all. Before you jump to any conclusions, no he doesn't play "catcher" in the game of heiny-sex either. We'll consider waving the "no-anal clause" if you're man enough to be the recipient of her brand new strap-on, but remember....you first.

 

Single guys, Well-hung is nice, and looks especially cool in the pictures, but remember even the hardest of wood splits when you try and force too large a drill bit into it. Tight grain here, so the finesse of a fly fisherman is required if you're packing a huge rod.

 

Remember, the esophagus may go all the way to the stomach, but inducing the lady's gag reflex, is not a surefire way to be invited back!

 

Single guys, You're responsible to bring the towel. It's your mess, you should wipe it up.

 

Single women, we'll provide the towels, however, if you're a squirter, as she does on occasion, please give us advance warning, and we'll make it a beach towel.

 

Ladies, the male half (the funny one, as opposed to the hottie) is obsessed with performing oral on hot females, actually quite good too (president of college Muff-Diving Team), so if you're not into receiving oral, please bring a deck of cards so we'll have something to do. Yes the "wedding tackle" gets plenty hard and is entirely rideable, just prefer to "lick it before you stick it"!

 

Squeaky clean only; should we really have to mention this? Doesn't everyone shower and brush their teeth before going out? If you don't, please sit downwind from us and not waste your time creating small talk with us.

 

Same room always, same bed usually

[MJPanzer 18]

Something I read in a Swinglifestyle profile this morning:

 

I swap alone.

 

Now what do you suppose this might mean?

 

Maybe he switches hands.....

[MJPanzer 18]

Off our profile:

 

Mustache Rides & Submarine Races

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

New profile on sls. What we're looking for: A young good looking couple that is interested in full swap and will travel to us.

Then they clarify in the last paragraph: We are looking for a couple that is young like us, and will travel to our place because we don't drive.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

This is the best line EVER:

 

Don't make me have to rewrite this thing because we met you!

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Tag line - "Trying to find a way to break it to wifey"

 

He goes on to say he doesn't know how to tell his wife he is interested in swinging, but basically they are up for anything.

 

This profile is 3 years old and they are online.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Tag line - "Trying to find a way to break it to wifey"

 

He goes on to say he doesn't know how to tell his wife he is interested in swinging, but basically they are up for anything.

 

This profile is 3 years old and they are online.

 

Any certifications?

 

[km34 672]

Tag line - "Trying to find a way to break it to wifey"

 

He goes on to say he doesn't know how to tell his wife he is interested in swinging, but basically they are up for anything.

 

This profile is 3 years old and they are online.

 

I actually had a friend I met at school that had a profile like this. As soon as he found out we were swingers (and then promptly made the connection to our SLS profile that has our faces blocked from public view) he started trying to get me to slyly bring up swinging or threesomes with his wife. Who I'd never met in person. Who had told him on more than one occasion that he found his friendship with me uncomfortable because of my sexual openness (she is one of the "swingers will sleep with anyone" believers). Our friendship didn't last more than a month after him finding out about my extracurricular activities because I wasn't cool with his behavior, but I know he is still on SLS, his wife still doesn't know about it, and he is probably trying to find some other woman to help seduce his wife into it. I guess at least his profile said they aren't active swingers yet?? Only positive thing I can say for him in his handling of the situation.

 

 

I always enjoy the tag lines with something like... "When are you cumming over?" or "What day and time are you free?"

 

Because there is nothing more that I want than someone who is looking to get with anyone, anytime.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Tagline for single female on sls: Looking for sugar daddy or mama to help with divorce debt.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I saw this new profile and don't understand the username at all. Pearlard Is it Pear Lard? Pearl Ard? There's no indication in the description what it means. It makes me laugh though...

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

My favorite so far has both spelling and grammar errors in the title, gives the age range of the people they're looking for as less than their own and says they're looking for people with shared interests, even though they don't list any interests. You'd think in six years they'd have more than a fifty word profile, too.

[SwingerGirl 132]

I have been very tempted to make my tagline "I will just lay there" just to see the reaction hahahaha. But of course, I know there are probably too many people that will take it seriously

[TheSwingerSet 205]

From one of our friends profiles:

 

i love bi ladies...............saves more men for me

[SwingerGirl 132]

Just received a message on SLS from a single guy asking me if I was interested in a couple..... huh? Anyway, I look at his profile and just HAD to run over here and share it. It very simply says he is looking for a "kinky girl that can put more that 3 words together"

 

Yep folks, that is it... that is the whole profile.... -sigh-

 

PS- he is a lifetime member since 06...... I just don't get it lol

[slevin 1,374]

Just received a message on SLS from a single guy asking me if I was interested in a couple..... huh? Anyway, I look at his profile and just HAD to run over here and share it. It very simply says he is looking for a "kinky girl that can put more that 3 words together"

 

Yep folks, that is it... that is the whole profile.... -sigh-

 

PS- he is a lifetime member since 06...... I just don't get it lol

 

Well, his profile is 10 words long, that's like a novel compared to 3 words

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Just received a message on SLS from a single guy asking me if I was interested in a couple..... huh? Anyway, I look at his profile and just HAD to run over here and share it. It very simply says he is looking for a "kinky girl that can put more that 3 words together"

 

Yep folks, that is it... that is the whole profile.... -sigh-

 

PS- he is a lifetime member since 06...... I just don't get it lol

 

Slevin beat me to it. As for his email, maybe he left out two words in the middle of his question.... "in being"

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Under the heading: How would you let someone know you're not interested

 

I'm very flattered, but I'm sorry I don't think we'd be combatable...

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Under the heading: How would you let someone know you're not interested

 

I'm very flattered, but I'm sorry I don't think we'd be combatable...

 

Hmmm... Your Freudian slip is showing.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Just saw this today (first line in the profile).

 

We r looking for couples who r fun to be around. Who we can have intelligent conversations with

 

oxymoron?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Not quite oxymoronic, but close. The only thing that would help that along would be a misplaced comma.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Just saw this today (first line in the profile).

 

 

 

oxymoron?

 

They did say conversations...just not the writing type.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Just saw this today (first line in the profile).

 

We r looking for couples who r fun to be around. Who we can have intelligent conversations with

 

 

oxymoron?

 

Mignon Fogarty (Grammar Girl) recently taught me, through her Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing podcast, that ending a sentence with a preposition is not the sin that we might have been taught. Using a single alphabetical character as a verb and pretending that a sentence fragment is a sentence are, however, deadly sins.

[PB&J 1,086]

Mignon Fogarty (Grammar Girl) recently taught me, through her Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing podcast, that ending a sentence with a preposition is not the sin that we might have been taught.

 

As Churchill is supposed to have said when corrected on this particular point, "There are some things up with which I will not put!"

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Mignon Fogarty (Grammar Girl) recently taught me, through her Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing podcast, that ending a sentence with a preposition is not the sin that we might have been taught. Using a single alphabetical character as a verb and pretending that a sentence fragment is a sentence are, however, deadly sins.

 

There was more to the sentence after the preposition, I just cut off it. That said, I gave up not ending a sentence with a preposition a long time ago.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Tagline: When your're a hammer, everyone looks like they want to be nailed.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I'd have no desire to get hammered or to be nailed. I would definitely pass by this profile.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Call me what ever you want but I have a soft spot for cheesy/corny lines.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Call me what ever you want but I have a soft spot for cheesy/corny lines.

 

Yep, I like corny and cheesy when it makes me laugh. It is definitely one of those that will bring mixed reactions like SW_PA's response.

[CandyCane 33]

We received an e-mail over the weekend with this tag-line " Cum on your face,it's great makeup"

[newmajor00 48]

That would work on my wife...

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Legend has it that Livia Drusilla, wife of Emperor Augustus, believed that a bath in semen kept her looking young.

[junglecouple 127]

It's good to be da queen!