Can you swing and be overweight?

[Guest Unregistered]

I really want to get into this lifestyle with my boyfriend, but I am fat (5'11", 190 lbs.) He's bigger than me, but hey, he's a guy.

 

How do you feel about such a large woman trying to swing? Will I be ridiculed at parties? I feel sexy and confident, but god knows some people would vomit if they saw me naked! Is it rude for a fat woman to attend because of this?

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

First off, you shouldn't be so hard on your self. If you are that uncomfortable with your self you may have a hard time enjoying swinging because you will have to be naked in front of other people. Swinging takes a good bit of self esteem.

 

Secondly,

 

Swingers come in all shapes and sizes, there is no rule to how you have to look.

 

If you want to know what the people inside a swingers club looks like, take a walk through your local grocery store.

Or better yet, check out an ad site for swingers, such as SLS . It is a site where people put up ads to find others who would be interested in joining their play. Most ads have pics up. I promise you will see everything from short to tall, skinny to overweight, old to young, bald to hairy and everything in between.

[CandTinLorainCo 16]

Haven't had a problem yet, remember Chris Farley?? Sang a song "Fat guy in a lil suit" well that would be me....... .

 

 

-C

[Dynamar 246]

Darlin'... At 5'11" and 190, I wouldn't think you were "fat"... curvy and sensuous, probably... Fat? no. Accentuate the positive and come on in... the water's fine!

 

P.S., I'm 5'9" and about 195-200... and I think I'm pretty fine! LOL

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Dito I would also agree that is not "Fat".

[Zoe&Wash 93]

Wow - how did size become the hot topic for the day???

 

Breast size, Penis size, dress size, Mrs. Indy's Retirement Fund size . . . .

 

Thank God I still have the body of a nineteen year old track star.*

 

W

 

*It's in the trunk of my car, and I think the neighbors are starting to notice

[Arrival5 15]

Haven't had a problem yet, remember Chris Farley?? Sang a song "Fat guy in a lil suit" well that would be me....... .

 

 

-C

 

I believe that song goes, "Big fat guy in a little coat. Big fat guy in a little coat. (Riiiiippppp) " Wasn't that from the movie Tommy Boy? That movie is too funny.

[bear_and_babe 68]

I am a BBW and I have never had a lack of swing partners. It is more about how you carry yourself that matters. When I walk into the club we attend, I walk in feeling sexy and confident in myself and it shows. That being said, I know that I am not everyone's "cup of tea". I know there are people that will not be attracted to me, and that is ok. There are plenty of others who are. And on any given night at the club, I am by no means the largest woman in the room. And I think you will find that a lot of men really like us big girls! I know Bear loves a woman with alittle meat on her bones!

 

BTW- I would not call you fat either.

[sepacouple 15]

ditto to everything that was said above!!!!

 

and as I said in another post, in general people in the lifestyle are much more accepting of a variety of body types and sizes than the vanilla world is.

[clit pro poet 15]

(mr. here)

I think sometimes (when I think at all) that I'm partial to light, but years back I saw Aretha Franklin sing to a large audience on a May evening in New Orleans. There couldn't have been one guy there (the women will have to speak for themselves) who would have passed up a chance!

Sex is, more or less, between the ears.

[vysper 17]

Yeah, um, 5'11" and 190 doesn't sound fat to me. Of course, we are our own worst critics. Don't be so hard on yourself. Not everyone wants a stick woman who looks like she could be broken with one thrust I know my husband is quite fond of the more voluptuous women.

[twoplayful2 16]

5'11" sounds pretty hot to me, actually. Love the girls who have a little more on them, and especially the tall ones! Taller the better!

 

At all the clubs we've been to there are women much thinner than that, women much heavier than that. Some clubs don't have quite as many of the heavier girls, some have a whole lot more. Plenty of options out there for everyone.

[EvilMJ 65]

Hon, I'm 5'9 and curvy as they come (damn hips )

 

But everytime we go out I get lots of offers, from all types of people, from the big and beautiful, to the thin and hot.....It's all in how you carry yourself, it's true that you are your own worst critic.

 

I had a chat with a friend the other day and he confided that he prefers women with some meat on them, and I don't think he is alone in that. Be happy with who you are, love yourself, act and feel sexy. I think you will find that will not be lacking in playmates.....and 5"11 and 190 is NOT Fat!!! My goodness!

[bear_and_babe 68]

I had a chat with a friend the other day and he confided that he prefers women with some meat on them, and I don't think he is alone in that.

 

This reminds me of a chat I was having with a swing partner. Some background- he is a very good looking, slim, hard body, muscles everywhere, very smart younger man. Well, we were chatting and I asked him why he tends to like "larger" women when he could have his pick of any woman in the place. His response was priceless! He said, "Well, I just have a big appetite"!

[Guest Pinmonkey]

Hey, you know those cover models? The ones on the runways and in the movies and in the underwear ads? Well there's 100 maybe 200 of them tops. That's why they make the big money.

 

Most people are like the people you see in the grocery store, just like Mr&Mrs Naughty said. Just be happy with yourself. Whatever you look like.

 

Okay, I just went back and looked at the actual question you wrote. And to answer your question... Yes, you can be overweight and still swing. So if you are happy with who you are, then by all means please ignore the top part of my post.

[graygo98 148]

God, do you even find most cover girls attractive? Give me curvy and feminine over an angular bed of nails any day.

 

5' 11" and 190? Sounds pretty hot to me.

[curiouslawgirl 15]

Thanks for the supportive answers, everyone. (I was the unregistered OP). I know I'm not that huge, but I have gained weight over the past few years, and am too heavy for my bf's liking these days, so I suppose that got to me. I do feel confident in myself and love my body, but, like many people, I have a fragile ego. Although, I must say I never feel as confident as when I am in a sexual situation!

 

This site is great, and the message boards have so much valuable information! Thanks again.

[Guest Pinmonkey]

God, do you even find most cover girls attractive? Give me curvy and feminine over an angular bed of nails any day.

 

5' 11" and 190? Sounds pretty hot to me.

 

If you're asking me, I feel the same as you. Those cover girls are way too skinny.

[playmatesinpgh 18]

I am a BBW and I have never had a lack of swing partners. It is more about how you carry yourself that matters. When I walk into the club we attend, I walk in feeling sexy and confident in myself and it shows. That being said, I know that I am not everyone's "cup of tea". I know there are people that will not be attracted to me, and that is ok. There are plenty of others who are. And on any given night at the club, I am by no means the largest woman in the room. And I think you will find that a lot of men really like us big girls! I know Bear loves a woman with alittle meat on her bones!

 

BTW- I would not call you fat either.

 

We couldn't have said it better. My wife is a beautiful redheaded BBW and I am big also. When we go to clubs we always have fun and never feel like we are being shunned. We never have problems finding couples who want to swing with us. So, give it a try. You won't be disappointed by the response you get.

[Dynamar 246]

Thanks for the supportive answers, everyone. (I was the unregistered OP). I know I'm not that huge, but I have gained weight over the past few years, and am too heavy for my bf's liking these days, so I suppose that got to me. I do feel confident in myself and love my body, but, like many people, I have a fragile ego. Although, I must say I never feel as confident as when I am in a sexual situation!

 

This site is great, and the message boards have so much valuable information! Thanks again.

CLG ... Welcome Glad you registered, and came back to comment. Sometimes we never hear from people again and it's nice to know you read and appreciated everyone's positive comments. Hope to know you better through your posts in the time to come.

 

Oh, and one other thing... I'm sorry your BF has you feeling bad about yourself... shame on him!

 

All the best,

[jennandjamesinm 87]

This is a great thread for us newbies that are looking at the lifestyle, but are unsure how we will be accepted. Makes me feel much better...thanks ya'll

 

Jenn

[goddessoftoyz 15]

My hubby just had to show me that he saw this thread, and i love him all the more for it, i was worried about my weight being an issue, not to the point of not doing anything, ive never met a happier and more confident person then myself, but i was still worried. but like everyone has said its all in how you carry yourself. Im 6' 250 lbs and nobody would ever tell me im fat because i carry my self well. its all in how you feel about yourself and enjoy it. dont change for anyone but yourself, and let your bf know that your still beautiul and he can suck it up and love ALL of you.

[woodyxyz 16]

I am one of those guys who has always sought out a woman with more "playground". Also, I find them more enthusiastic lovers because they seem to be less concerned about "image".

[vbrunkenobi 15]

I am 5-11/207 and the Mrs. is 5-9 211. We both could loose a bit of weight but we don't let that interfere with our lifestyle. My wife I think is one of the most beautiful women around and she thinks that I am very handsome. We are both a little self-conscious of our bodies, but that is okay. We love each other and have had some redal good times with other women who could stand to loose a pound or two. Our lives wait for no diet and quite frankly, I am tired of worrying about my spare tire (not the Ford Fiesta tire, the Excursion SUV tire, LOL) and I need to reprogram myself away from what mainstream media has had me grow up believing. If I can be happy in my soul, I can be happy in other people's souls as well. I am sure that were we to meet in a club or party that I would be very attracted to you. - Mike

[Bluedragon 15]

I look at it this way, if you go to the restaurant do you order the kids meal or the full blown deal?

Seriously, Mrs Blue is a BBW and I love every ounce of her. What you need to realize is that it's what you are inside that matters. I would rather have a larger woman that has a heart and enjoys life than a "perfectly built" that just wants to please herself.

 

And by the way at your height and weight your are no where near fat, so enjoy yourself.

[cuteIDcouple 16]

This is a subject that really hits HOME ....

 

5'11" and 190lbs ?? there are many more woman that would die to be in your weight height category.

 

My Sweets is a "Big Chick" (her words not mine) 5'4" and over 250lbs .. VERY beautiful ... I always tried telling her that but it wasn't until she started hearing that from other men, and now that we are swinging and I LOVE to see her with another man, she loves being the center of it all.

 

We are finding there are a lot of men that don't see her weight, she's hates the way her tummy looks but but none of us guys are staring at her stomach, her face, her smile, her eyes, her breasts, compliment the rest of her body and she is by far the HOTTEST woman I know (of course I am partial)

 

The one thing I love the most about the swinging lifestyle is seeing her excited, smiling and enjoying herself.

 

I know of bigger women who have had similar experiences, there are enough guys out there like me that LOVE all sizes. It's not all about your weight.

 

Enjoy yourself it will be FUN . . .

[Pepper & Drew 384]

The thing that I learned in the lifestyle was that so many things can be sexy and attractive and that it's crazy for women to think that they have to look like the girls in the porno mags in order to be hot. Hello, the women in the porno mags don't even look like the women in porno mags! Lighting, makeup and PhotoShop make us believe that these women don't have stretch marks, cellulite or surgery scars. Honey, they do, and perfect does not equal sexy. Confidence is truly sexy.

 

Pepper

[texasswing29 15]

This thread has been absolutely liberating for me. Thanks so much for asking the question and thanks to all of you beautiful people for sheding some light on the subject! Have fun!

[swingset1222 15]

By no means do I consider you fat, hell I'm only 5'2 and weigh a little less than you. I felt the same way when I first started swinging. I had pre-conceived ideas that all swingers were supermodel and bodybuilder types, but once I started checking things out, I realized most are very ordinary people like myself. If I do have any doubts, I always ask what his weight preferences are and go from there. So quit worrying and get out there and have some fun!!

[Bluedragon 15]

This is a subject that really hits HOME ....

 

We are finding there are a lot of men that don't see her weight, she's hates the way her tummy looks but but none of us guys are staring at her stomach, her face, her smile, her eyes, her breasts, compliment the rest of her body and she is by far the HOTTEST woman I know (of course I am partial)

 

The one thing I love the most about the swinging lifestyle is seeing her excited, smiling and enjoying herself.

 

 

. . .

 

I salute you on that comment. I could not agree with you more. If only women would realize that us men don't want that "Perfect body" we want REAL woman. Those that care what life is about and live to enjoy every minute of it.

 

If the world was full of only these special lookers where would we go to find the really special inside.

 

Please note: This is not to say that some of those that are considered the "perfect body" do not fit into that special person category as well. I am just stating that is not a requirement to have a beautiful person.

[kobaltskye 15]

Thank God I still have the body of a nineteen year old track star.*

 

W

 

*It's in the trunk of my car, and I think the neighbors are starting to notice

LMAO!!!

[autumnayr 15]

I'm really glad you brought up this subject. I have the same concerns. I am 48 & 5 '8" and 215lbs. In clothes, I feel sexy and confident. without a top and in my bra,(great boobs here) still sexy but as soon as my belly is revealed........whammo Ive got this thing to just cover it up. Now of course my husband thinks Im sexy, which is wonderful, but I always wonder how others will see me. (I know I shouldnt but I do) Do people really get to know your personality first? Has anyone ever been put down because of their size? Im sure there are those so called barbie and kens out there that want the perfect couple. I mean I had a couple confront me about being with them.....gosh how did they know we've been thinking about that??? They were flirty with me etc...but then I thought, what would they think when the clothes dropped to the floor? Would they turn and run?

 

BTW......you dont sound fat at all.......not by a long shot....

[Sweet_Candy 54]

It takes all kinds of body shapes to make all of us happy. If your happy with yourself thats the most important thing and if your not ... do something about it. Most of if not all of us have internal likes and dislikes when it comes to anatomy. Have fun grab some ass!

 

Sweet_Candy

[JandL 15]

I recently heard a funny statement on grading women...and I suppose men.

 

There is the scale we all are very familiar with. The 1-10 Scale. In fact, I think we have all heard, "Hey man look, that chick is a TEN."

 

But any real man knows that there is a much more truthful scale out there...

 

And it is the 0-1 Scale. Yup 2 spots. Do or don't. Good enough or not.

 

And I'll admit it. 90% of the people, if not more, based on looks alone are definatly ones to me. =)

 

I wouldn't worry about looks.

 

My two cents. Hope you got a chuckle out of it.

[bear_and_babe 68]

I'm really glad you brought up this subject. I have the same concerns. I am 48 & 5 '8" and 215lbs. In clothes, I feel sexy and confident. without a top and in my bra,(great boobs here) still sexy but as soon as my belly is revealed........whammo Ive got this thing to just cover it up. Now of course my husband thinks Im sexy, which is wonderful, but I always wonder how others will see me. (I know I shouldnt but I do) Do people really get to know your personality first? Has anyone ever been put down because of their size? Im sure there are those so called barbie and kens out there that want the perfect couple. I mean I had a couple confront me about being with them.....gosh how did they know we've been thinking about that??? They were flirty with me etc...but then I thought, what would they think when the clothes dropped to the floor? Would they turn and run? .

 

Just food for thought:

 

I was at the club one night and we ended up in a room with 10 people. I was not the largest woman in the room, nor was I the smallest in the room. Out of 5 men, Bear was the heavest at 6'4 and 260, but all the other men were about 200 lbs if that. The only thing I heard that night were moans of pleasure. No one was worried that the women were all BBW's. We were more concerned about pleasing each other.

 

I have never had anyone say anything to me about my weight. And I have a tummy too. I once asked a swing partner why he liked larger women. He is a very slim and muscular, good looking man. His reply was, "I have a large appetite!". I thought that sumed it up rather well!

[Chicup 42]

A long time ago someone had a similar question here, and I posted how dieting might be a good idea (in a nice way, I was dieting myself at the time) and I got torn apart for it.

 

You will have to accept that if you are over weight you will have rejections because of it. My advice is still, if it bothers YOU in how others see you, you can do something about it.

 

There will be a lot of stories about how people would rather be with a happy woman into it than a skinny snob etc, and while its true, its also a straw man. It IS possible to be skinny, a swinger, and a nice person.

 

If you are happy with your weight, then don't worry and have a good time. If not, go on a diet/work out, you will feel better about yourself and improve your health.

 

The ironic thing about the thread where even suggesting someone diet was somehow offensive, was the original poster decided he should go on a diet.

[BiDrywallChick 18]

Personally, i was swinging when I was a BBW. I find its more of a matter of confidence in yourself. Carry yourself like you are the "cock of the walk".

 

No matter the size, everyone has their own tastes and desires. I found out the other day that now, one of my reg playmates isnt sexually attracted to me anymore.. No biggie.. She likes her women on the fluffy plump side. We are still great friends. Its all about having the cake.. the rest is just icing

[robbiex2 15]

I personally would not be worried just as everyone else has said its all in what you think of yourself be proud hold your head up and look anyone in the eye .

[autumnayr 15]

I thank you for the great responses......

I guess like you said its all about how you carry yourself....Which I think I do well. I guess if they dont like what I have.......someone else will......

[sutherncomfort 15]

As a couple who prefers women with curves, our answer is a definite yes. We're both a little overweight but that doesn't stop us from going out to experiment sexually. If someone doesn't like us for our looks, then it's their loss and we probably didn't want to know them anyway.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

I saw go for it! Everyone has different tastes. Some like them skinny some like a women (or man for that matter) with some meat on their bones. Thats what is so great about swinging, no matter what your characteristics are or what you like, there are people out there with the same interests.

 

I have generally been a skinny girl, I am 5'9" & weigh in the range of 135 to 140. I am now almost 5 months pregnant. This is my 3rd pregnancy, so unlike my first 2, where I didn't gain any weight until al,osty the 7 month, I am already weighing 155 to 160. I don't yet have that pregnant belly yet. So to people that don't know that I am pregnant, I don't look it. But the thing I have figured out, is that it is all how you carry it.

 

Beause I feel a little heavier then normal, I take a lot more time & thought in how I look. But in turn, I think I have a lot more confidence then when I was 135ish. I swear it seems to me, since I have started feeling more confident, I carry myself a lot different, & I have noticed a lot more guys checking me out. That seems to boost my self esteem even more.

 

As long as you are happy with yourself, & you feel sexy in your own skin, don't be afraid to show it. When you show that self confidence, I don't think there is anything more sexy then a woman that feels sexy the way she is!

 

Mrs. HotCoupleGnS

[robnbarb 41]

5' 11" and 190 is almost exactly my wife's size (she is 5' 10"). Honeslty I think she is a major hotty. With that in mind I think My views of this issue are clear.

[wolfnblu 15]

Well I am 5'4" here and weigh in the upper 160's. Fleshy. Most of the time, if my tummy bloat isn't too bad - if I've watched the carbs for the past few days, I'm pretty confident that I'm sexy and attractive. But I do have fears that once I set my eyes on someone, they won't return the attraction because of my weight. We haven't yet been to a club or any kind of lifestyle gathering yet.

[morgan78 15]

I think the bigger question is :

How does everyone feel about women who are a little more than bbw who swings? ( sorry but I dont think someone who is a size 14 -18 is big! how about the women who wear 26-32?)

I think it is more acceptable that a man is big, but women is a whole different story.

At what point do you just say.. NO

[Chicup 42]

I think the bigger question is :

How does everyone feel about women who are a little more than bbw who swings? ( sorry but I dont think someone who is a size 14 -18 is big! how about the women who wear 26-32?)

I think it is more acceptable that a man is big, but women is a whole different story.

At what point do you just say.. NO

While my wife and I are still working on losing a few more pounds, we are both pretty shallow when it comes to weight. For me being well over weight is a giant turn off, I don't know why, its not like I grew up in a super 'slim' house hold but fat is just ugly to me at a sexual level. So a size 14 is big to me, and I'd guess a 16 is my 'no thanks' limit. Its sort of annoying since if I was more liberal in my tastes I would have more opportunity to play, but sex being a basic instinct isn't subject to logic.

 

I'm not sure where my wifes cut off would be in numbers but I know the look, and if your gut starts to hide your penis, she won't be interested either.

 

On SLS, I add about +20 lbs on the womans weight so obviously a lot of them wish they were thinner based on photos vrs what they put their weight at.

 

This is a touchy subject in swinging, far more than race I think, but I think of it as basic attraction, much like liking blondes over red heads. We have been rejected based on looks a number of times, which I expect for myself, I think I'm pretty average, but I am always amazed when its my wife, who is quite a looker. Not to be cliche but different strokes.

[morgan78 15]

Well I for one am a big girl ( sorry if this is a turn off for some). Everyone says " You can change that if you want to". Well believe me, I WANT TO! It is just not going to happen anytime soon. My doctor found a medical problem last year that causes me not to loose weight. I am on medicine and I guess the only solution to my problem is bypass surgery. Needless to say my insurance thru work does not cover it. So... do I let my life pass me by, or try to have a good time???

 

Here is a good question:

 

Would you rather play with an overweight parter, or a parter how had gastric bypass surgery and looks like they are melting? ( or full of scars from plastic surgery?)

 

I have all these things to think about. I am not proud of how much I weigh by any means. I know it is gross to some. But I am really trying to decide what is the best. Bypass surgery is a live changing thing that you can not take lightly. Once it is done you can never have it reversed. Plus there a major chance for complications.

I know I would be healthier, but since my medical problem, I could loose 100 pounds just by next year to have it back again.

 

thoughts?

[Chicup 42]

Well I for one am a big girl ( sorry if this is a turn off for some). Everyone says " You can change that if you want to". Well believe me, I WANT TO! It is just not going to happen anytime soon. My doctor found a medical problem last year that causes me not to loose weight. I am on medicine and I guess the only solution to my problem is bypass surgery. Needless to say my insurance thru work does not cover it. So... do I let my life pass me by, or try to have a good time???

 

Here is a good question:

 

Would you rather play with an overweight parter, or a parter how had gastric bypass surgery and looks like they are melting? ( or full of scars from plastic surgery?)

 

I have all these things to think about. I am not proud of how much I weigh by any means. I know it is gross to some. But I am really trying to decide what is the best. Bypass surgery is a live changing thing that you can not take lightly. Once it is done you can never have it reversed. Plus there a major chance for complications.

I know I would be healthier, but since my medical problem, I could loose 100 pounds just by next year to have it back again.

 

thoughts?

 

I know two women who had the surgery, both are quite pleased with it. They are non-swingers so I couldn't tell you what they look like naked.

[mrs good times 73]

While I have never had gastric bypass surgery and am not overweight I do have some serious scars because of medical reasons. Being over weight, having scars, being skinny, etc. these are all personal preferences so some will like it, some will not and others won't care.

[autumnayr 15]

Being over weight, having scars, being skinny, etc. these are all personal preferences so some will like it, some will not and others won't care.

 

I guess if your fluffy you are self concious of what others think, because of the world we live in....most of us can do something about it, and Im working on it, but losing tons of weight is not always a pretty sight either... Im not 25 anymore, and things just dont spring back where it belongs , so I am a bit loose (we're talking tummies now)

 

I guess like mrs good times said some will like it and some will not....how do you find the ones that wont care? I mean I look better in clothes where you can't see everything.... should I go around flashing my tummy to people asking....do you like this or not? Im not trying to make light of the situation, I know how sensitive of a subject it is....but every now and then you have to say......." oh what the hell" :rollseyes

[BiDrywallChick 18]

i just snipped this from my answer on the poll because I am too lazy to come up with another way of saying it

 

I am one of those people.. I have been morbidly obese. I wouldnt have wanted to swing with me. I have had a bypass surg.. no regrets.. and I do have excess skin... and ice it off with scars from surg as well as my fair share of scars that tell the story of my life.

 

Now.. my opinion.. it doesnt bother me in the least if someone doesnt want to swing with me because of what I look like. That is their groove. Physical attraction has to be there for good old fashioned lusty sex. thats just the bottom line. However, that being said, I would like to think someone wouldnt rule me out as a swing friend just because of looks. I am one damn fine looking chick now but I also have one hell of a brain to go with that.. add my sparkling personality, wit and sarcasm... If you just judged me on looks.. you would be missing out. Not every person I meet in swing land do I want to jump into bed or on the counter with.. but then.. there are some that just get me right in the nuts