Swinging while pregnant?

[bellajohn 15]

Do women swing while pregnant? What are the pros (if any) and cons? Is it advisable? Dangers? etc.??? Sorry to sound naive, but we are! Thanks in advance!

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Most doctors will tell you that you may continue to have sex until around your last trimester.

 

I personally believe that sex during pregnancy is not good at all. I firmly believe that the child's mental health is at stake.

[lycioos 16]

Just curious, why would you think that it would affect the child's mental health?

 

I would think that the biggest risk would be injuring yourself. You are in a delicate state and while sex itself won't hurt you, you will be with different people other than your husband who may not be as sensitive and gentle with you as he would. Also, Sex can induce contractions toward the end of your pregnancy. Be careful with that. Toward the end of my wife's pregnancy the mid wife told us to "have at it." She said it was a good labor inducer. Tread carefully.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

As far as pros go at least you won't have to worry about getting pregnant.

[bellajohn 15]

As far as sex in general is concerned during pregnancy, that isn't an issue or a question in our mind. As far as the baby's mental health, that sounds absolutely ridiculous, I've gone to several web sites regarding sex during pregnancy and it is mentioned no where. Just about any doctor will tell you that sex during pregnancy is fine, but there are precautions to take at times and of course you need to be adaptive as far as postions go due to the physical nature of a pregnant woman. Of course there are times whenit is not recommended either, due to the pregnancy and conditions. My wife has a pronounced increase in her sexual appetite while pregnant and she's the first one to admit it.

[lycioos 16]

If you felt you already had researched it and new the answers, why did you ask for advice?

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Originally posted by bellajohn:

As far as the baby's mental health, that sounds absolutely ridiculous

 

It has been proven that anytime your awareness is reduced thru pain or drugs (and coitus during pregnancy can cause pain), that anything said within your hearing affects your mental state. It is a fact that unborn children are highly susceptible to this, and anything that happens to the child before birth is where the worst mental problems come from.

 

It's not surprising that you did not find this information online. It is not a very popular fact among the psychology / psychiatry fields as it implies that man is not a stimulus-response animal.

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

Originally posted by lycioos:

If you felt you already had researched it and new the answers, why did you ask for advice?

 

I agree too!

 

An added little note to the original poster...I'm sure others have experienced this (or maybe not *lol*), as I have too....

 

All through our children's early years while growing up, they would ask me about certain things, or recognize certain people/places/things/events/etc....And the only way that they've been "exposed" to these certain "events" (at that point of their childhood), was some time during my pregnancy with them.

 

I remember asking my parents certain questions too while growing up, and they just gave me this dumbfounded look and said, that that was impossible for me to know this or that, since I wasn't even there, or wasn't even born yet.

 

Some things that I "remember" was traumatic for me, I thought they were nightmares throughout my childhood, until I finally got old (and bold) enough to ask my parents about these events or so. That's when I started to realize that not only the physical part, but also the "mental & emotional" aspect of an unborn baby is just as critical DURING pregnancy.

 

Call it what you want ("ridiculous"), but we were just sharing our knowledge & experiences with you, since you DID ask for it.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Just me, but I wouldn't be comfortable swinging with a pregnant woman. I'd be too afraid of hurting her somehow.

[LIZA 20]

For me an obviously pregnant woman would be a total turn-off. I have BEEN pregnant and toward the end, my sons moved about so energetically that often a foot or elbow would be visible moving across my stomach! I know some men do not want to have sex with their own wife at that time...let alone strangers! Unless you meet someone with a pregnancy fetish you would just freak a lot of people out!

 

Early in pregnancy before you are showing, I guess it is ok but I would stick to just touching and oral sex and not have intercourse, it really is not worth the risk involved to have intercourse with different men. It is probably totally safe but do you really HAVE to do it? You are only pregnant for 9 months!

[Stratecpl 19]

Originally posted by lycioos:

Also, Sex can induce contractions toward the end of your pregnancy. Be careful with that. Toward the end of my wife's pregnancy the mid wife told us to "have at it." She said it was a good labor inducer. Tread carefully.

 

Humm...well that explains why both of mine came the next day after a vigorous night of playing... Had a hot night with hubby at 9 months...next day wham...son 2 years later..hot night with hubby at 8 and half months..wham...daughter.. haha...gee! LOL and oh yes increased sexual appetite during pregnancy...very much so on that one!

[Guest CyberMWCouple]

I agree with Liza, and it IS only 9 months, as she mentioned.

 

And there are pregnancy & sex websites on the net also, along with the fetish of it too.

 

Again, to each's own...

[LaylaSusanne 15]

I know, as a nurse, that pregnancy during sex usually does not harm either the woman or the baby. And many women experience an increased sexual appetite, especially during the second trimester.

 

The obvious caveats to it not doing harm are, of course, if there are any risks involved in the pregnancy, if the woman has had previous miscarriages or preterm labor, or has a low-lying placenta (all things to be checked with your doctor)

 

Sexual intercourse CAN induce contractions. I also recommend a night of "hot loving" for women who are overdue. But it can also induce contractions in a woman prone to preterm labor. Semen contains prostoglandins, the same hormone secreted by women to begin labor (and for nursing) (that's why sex makes your breasts leak if you're breast-feeding, in case anyone was wondering)

 

I would also have to agree with Liza, that maybe activities with other men be limited to touching and oral. The actual sexual activity would most likely not be a problem, but sex with other partners DOES carry risks, even WITh protection, and why would you want to take that chance while pregnant?

 

I also know that pregnant women do turn some men on a LOT. At least, that was MY experience *blush* Be sure the men are gentle with you, and use positions that are comfortable for you. There are plenty of books and websites addressing sex during pregnancy that can offer advice on sexual positions. Myself, I found lying on my side, rear-entry to be the most comfortable. (I had VERY large babies)

 

Just be careful, and check with your own doctor to be sure sex is okay for you at all.

*and it IS only 9 months*

 

After that, sex will be the LAST thing on your mind for a while, anyway! SLEEP will take on a MUCH greater importance!

 

Layla

[bellajohn 15]

As far as researching things, it was the sex aspect, not the swinging aspect that I referred to earlier. I was wondering if there were any women out there who had done it. It sounds as if it's not very common amongst swingers. Although my wife has indicated that she may want to do it, I'm leaning towards waiting until after the pregnancy. We actually haven't even had our first experience, and I think that it would be best to wait and if the interest is still there, then try later. Thanks to all for the responses.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Originally posted by bellajohn:

I'm leaning towards waiting until after the pregnancy. We actually haven't even had our first experience, and I think that it would be best to wait and if the interest is still there, then try later. Thanks to all for the responses.

 

I would probably agree with that thought. Mainly because you haven't had your first experience yet and you want it to be as good as possible. There's enough to worry about when you are thinking about your first experience without adding the possibilities of what this might do to your pregnancy. Plus you'd hate to get into it in the first couple of months then have to take a few months off for the rest of the pregnancy and possibly lose some good connections you made due to lack of contact.

[Stephen 15]

We are experienced swingers (2 years in our mid 40s) and my partner has just found out that she's pregnant. What has been the experience of other couples in the early stages of pregnancy? Do you carry on swinging, or is it a bit weird to do that and do you stop?

 

At the moment the idea doesn't appeal for her:do couples soon change their minds and try and have some fun before the later stages of pregnancy arrives?

 

We have arranged to meet a cple in 3 weeks time and aren't sure about whether we should cancel or not. We may be cool about it in a few weeks time.

 

What have other people's experiences been swinging when the female half is pregnant or with a cple with a pregnant wife?

[Alura 2,774]

Be very careful, of course, to not pick up any sexually transmitted diseases, even the more harmless ones, easily treated with penicillin. You don't want to complicate the pregnancy.

 

We had an experience when Mrs. Alura was six months pregnant but it was with a couple we'd known for fifteen years who had had no outside sex for that period of time. The other man had never had sex with a pregnant woman and so was able to fulfill a fantasy.

 

Be very, very careful. If there is any question at all, we'd suggest not doing it.

 

Alura

[CanadianCouple 18]

I'd concur with what Alura said, but would like to add one more point.

 

If you do decide to cancel, please be considerate of the other couple by not waiting until the last minute to cancel out. Make your decision ASAP.

 

Dan

[Stephen 15]

Hi, we are an experienced swing couple (only 2 years tho), M-42, F-45. The wife is newly pregnant! (6weeks). We'd like to know other couples experiences of what they do in the early stages of pregnancy.

 

Do you continue to meet couples to swing?

 

When would you stop playing with couples-how many months in?

 

If you stopped altogether how did you satisfy your horny urges?

 

Or are you put off the idea for a long time, coz your focus is elsewhere?

 

We had arranged to meet a couple in a few weeks time and are unsure of what to do. At the moment the pregnancy makes us think we should stop playing but when the excitement dies down will we go back to thinking horny thoughts

 

ps we think we conceived after a long bout of post swingplay sex with each other!

[AllieGirlCincy 15]

We were just talking about this at dinner 2 nights ago. We're (my husband and I--you have to count him too!) not pregnant yet, but we're planning to start trying for our first child after the first of the year sometime.

 

Anyway...we also were planning on going to Hedonism sometime next year too. We kinda forgot that it's possible that I could be 3 or 4 months pregnant at that time. D'oh!

 

So...we started wondering about if playing in the lifestyle during pregnancy would be a good or bad thing. How taboo would it be, etc. We figured that some people would be really turned on by it, and that some people would be really turned off by it.

 

Any thoughts out there?

 

= )

 

--Allie

[BedroomAccess 15]

Be an adult - of course she should stay away from the lifestyle for the duration of pregnancy. There are health risks associates with any adult play and for the sake of the child she should wait for 9 months at least.

[Stephen 15]

Hi, is this a bad topic or something but no one has answered it at all? Did I pose the taboo issue incorrectly or what??

[TNT 1,155]

I don't think it is a taboo issue. I just think that most people here are past that stage in their lives.

 

For us, our 'baby' is 11 years old, and no, there won't be any more here, so we will never be faced with this issue.

 

I can tell you that during all of my pregnancies, I would not have wanted to play with anybody. I was extremely horny during my pregnancies, but also very self conscious about my looks as well.

 

A pregnancy is a very special time for both soon to be parents. I just would not have felt comfortable at all sharing that with anyone else.

 

There are those out there who probably would and do feel comfortable playing at this time.

 

We did have some friends that we had played with and when she did become pregnant, they wanted to continue playing, but neither of us (myself and hubby) were comfortable with it, so we politely turned them down. It just was not our thing.

 

Do what you both feel comfortable with and be honest with those that you do play with. Just remember, at this time it is no longer just the two of you, you have to worry about, there is a little one on the way that you must also consider now.

 

Good luck,

Teresa

[kissyface 15]

Well I just had a baby last month, and for us we did not play while I was pg. At first I was so sick with morning sickness that sex was the last thing on my mind... then during the second trimester when I was always horny I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to see me. Hubby thought I was beautiful but you know how woman are, bashful when it comes to our growing bodies...

 

Now I am so tired what is sex???

[JMR 59]

My husband and I started going to a swinger club last October and I was 8 weeks pregnant. We continued to go until March because my now 6 month old decided to arrive early. We have a wonderful sex life and when we talk about the things that we wanted to do after the baby was born, that thought alone got both of us very horny. You can still go to parties and have a good time dancing and getting to know people and then proceed to have great sex with your wife. We decided that we did not want to harm our unborn child so we did not exchange partners, we only had great same room sex with a great couple that we still talk to. Hope this helps if even a little.

[Stephen 15]

Hi, thank you very much for useful comments.

 

I had no idea it was posted elsewhere Just Ask Julie, it really was my mistake. I wondered where the original had got to and posted it again. I wasn't perturbed by any answers because I hadn't read any.

 

We'll probably not be swinging for up to 18 months we reckon when one considers the breast feeding scenario. But where there's a will there's a way and swing clubbing and own partner sex may be a nice option.

 

We love this message board, it's full of mature, intelligent, critical and intriguing commentary. Keep it up, you're the best!!

[IndyDuet 15]

We have friends that are dealing with this same situation. Unfortunately they are not dealing with it very well and I hope, if you do choose to play during this time, you can avoid the same pitfalls. Having been there (pregnant), there are hormone induced emotions that cannot be controlled, including a woman's views of her changing body. The female half of this couple has made comments of feeling like she has the plague because no one touches her...as if she's contageous.

 

And while this couple has always been a "plays together" couple, it seems the male half feels he shouldn't have to miss out on anything just because she's not getting any attention. I have witnessed him answering are they open swing questions in the affirmative with the explanation that his wife is pregnant.

 

I know we are new to the site, and I am not at all suggesting that this is bound to happen with all couples, just an observation made that I hope others can avoid.

 

Good luck with your decision and your upcoming birth. The fact that you are asking about it shows you are putting a great deal of thought into your decision.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ouch, sounds like a bad situation, but a very good point.

 

Welcome to the board IndyDuet, I hope you will continue to share your insight on other topics as well.